[identity profile] x-foliate.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] xp_logs
The log that never ends. Paige and Manuel have their dinner; it's an interesting conversation to say the least. We're still trying to figure out if Paige is really brave, or crazy, or sweet or just plain suicidal or...


Manuel did one last sweep around his room, cleaning and straightening things up and lighting the candles. This was going to be, whether Paige realized it or not, something a little more formal than a container of bad Chinese food, a pair of cheap chopsticks, and some floor space. If he wanted that, he could always invite Amanda over - assuming she could actually hold down food right now, which was highly unlikely. Now all that remained was for Paige to arrive. The wine (and water, Manuel doubted Paige was much of a drinker, but he'd give her a glass for her to ignore if she wanted) was chilled, the food hot and ready - everything was in readiness.

The final ingredient, pardon the pun, was added with a sharp knock on the door. Smiling as it was opened for her, Paige glanced at Manuel's state of dress, peeked around him to the set up of his room, and down at her jeans and blouse. "You know, just a moment ago, I was feeling over dressed," she commented wryly, kissing his cheek in the way that had become a custom greeting for the both of them. "You should have warned me, I'd have stolen a tiara or something."

Manuel grinned at that, and beckoned her inside. "I have found myself growing heartily sick of T-shirts. But next time I'll hold you to that notion of the tiara." he said with a charming smile. "Won't you come in, sit down?" he asked her, waiting for her to enter before closing the door behind him. "Some music..." he said, pressing a button to fill him room with the subtle and ethereal sounds of chamber music. "Ah, that's better." he said with a smile as he settled into his seat at the small table.

"The t-shirt-labcoat ensemble is my specialty, so I must admit to having not a clue what you're talking about," Paige said as she placed her napkin in her lap. "But roles reversed, I would get pretty sick of wearing skirts every day." Tilting her head to the side just slightly, she allowed her eyes to close, listening. There was almost an audible 'click' as her brain functions shifted over to the other side for a moment, before leaning back. "Is this that third Brahms piece that was reconstructed? My memory is a little fuzzy tonight it seems."

Manuel nodded. "It is indeed. I thought it appropriate, given the company." he said with a smile. It was so nice when people just got what he was trying to do. And it was also gratifying that he hadn't lost his touch. "Please, no more ceremony. Eat, before it gets cold!" he said, and then set-to. The food was pure Americana, no more and no less. No fancy Continential dishes, no French cuisine, no Spanish favorites. Just ... plain but filling country fare. From the store. "Surprisingly, this is actually pretty good. I was a little skeptical, but I think I'm being pleasantly surprised."

"Mm. I love classical duets. No singers, no orchestra, just two instruments telling a story together," Paige remarked warmly. Picking up a roll, she cracked it open and began applying a very exact amount of butter on it. "Where in the world did you find all this? Especially the bread, it's fantastic. Very fresh."

Manuel smiled. "My little secret for now." he said with a grin. "And this is what I grew up with, musically. And this is one of the better recordings I could find. So - I understand you've had quite a happy event in your life recently, yes?" he asked with a grin. "I am pleased that someone around here has some joy in their life."

Making sure she had totally chewed and swallowed her food, Paige allowed herself to stick out her tongue; she never admitted to being a lady. "Tease. I may never be satisfied by any other food again, and here you are withholding information. Someone is going to be very angry at you when I wither away to nothing," she informed him, gesturing with her roll. "And yes, I had a very nice birthday. Two very nice birthdays, even. Thank you for asking."

Manuel smirked. "Not quite what I was referring to, but I'll allow it." he said with a grin. "It's nice to feel something positive that's not Doctor Grey." he said. "I've had to keep the walls as high as I could make them, which occasionally reduces me down to Ange ... to nearly-drooling idiocy. Part of doing my part to keep me me and you you." he said with an elegant shrug. "It has been difficult lately." he admitted. "With Amanda going through withdrawl, and all the tension from the rally, and Drake finally getting over himself with Terry and Doctor Grey's good news and now you..."

"Sorry for being the straw on the camel's back," Paige said, honestly. "I mean. Not sorry enough to let myself lose whatever ground I've crawled up, but I am sorry. I know I was part of the madly jumping up and down squad that was following Doctor Grey around, as well." Reaching over with a quiet 'pardon', Paige grabbed a bottle of water from the bucket and poured it into her wine glass. "Is Amanda's withdrawl what started the, I'm assuming, fight the other day? I admit, I don't much keep up with her any more." It was a polite way of putting it, and she smiled a little to make it clear she meant no offense. She was merely fully aware she couldn't lie to him, not very well.

Manuel waved off her apology. "I can no more expect for other people to stop feeling than I can expect the sun to go dark when I wish it." he said. "I know that now. And yes, to answer your exquisitely-phrased question, it was indeed Amanda's withdrawl that has been causing us problems lately. She won't let me help her, not in the way that we both know works the best. She is determined to go this alone. It drives me mad that she denies my aid - even claims that I am part of the problem, instead of trying to help her to heal."

Paige smiled slowly, much the same kind of smile she gave Nemesis when he completed a run without any faults or Forge, when he'd been particularly brilliant. It was good to hear; she was really not in the mood for the old, 'if you don't like it, figure out how to fix it' speech tonight. "I can understand her stubbornness to a point. I'm told I have a little bit of mule in me too. Sometimes it's good to know that while you have someone to catch you if you fall, that you can make it up on your own, in the end. The difference between a guiding hand at the small of your back and a crutch, you know?" Twirling her fork between her fingers in thought, Paige continued. "However, the mad claims are certainly an indication that something is fundamentally wrong. She's reaching and logically, she shouldn't have to."

Manuel exhaled deeply. "I take it personally when she tells me that the way that I can help, the way I have helped her before, is suddenly a crutch, a chain holding her back." he said urgently. "Just between you and I, she was my shining example of the good I can do." he said. "I helped her deal with her addiction, with her madess. It was a sign pointing the way towards a constructive, positive use of my power!" he exclaimed. "Instead, now I feel like I did back when I first arrived - that I am a tool, something to be used and disposed of when it becomes - inconvenient."

Paige held up a hand in a signal of respect. Messing around in heads might not be her thing, but she at least understood that it was possible for it to be reasonable. "Hey. If she was willing to let you help before, and now suddenly she is not, there is a very good chance that something big has changed. Also, and now, this is only a guess, if she is going through withdrawl at the moment, obviously a negative time, it's a chance that she's not thinking straight. Your suspicions and your anger are not unreasonable. I'm just not sure how you might be able to convince her of that."

"I cannot." he said after a long moment. "I have tried to think of a way, from showing her via our link to explaining it with words to some sort of a grand gesture. But my imagination, never my strongest suit, fails me." he sighed. "I don't know what to do. The adults here do not approve of me or how I live my life, so I do not feel that I can discuss it with them. And Amanda herself is no help at all - she knows where my nexus points are, she knows just how to spin me so that all rational thought flees."

"I do believe this is one of those times you're going to have to pick your battles. Right now, you're right, there really is no way for you to gain anything. Right now, all you're going to do is aggravate her and push her further away," Paige explained clearly, pausing to take a sip of water. "Would you like my advice on what to do?"

Manuel gestured with his wineglass. "Please." he said, just short of imploringly. "I will listen." he added, then took a sip of his wine.

Leaning back in her chair, Paige gave herself a moment. "Well. Agree to disagree," she started, holding up a hand when he made a move to interrupt. "I know. It sounds cheesy and like backing down. But done correctly... Tell her that you're obviously not going to see eye to eye on this right now, but what is more important is whatever she's going through and that you love her. That you want to be there for her, even if it's not the way you would prefer, and will do whatever she needs, if she will let you. Then, when she is somewhat rational again, you two can discuss this over something soothing like tea or large bathtub sex with minimal crockery throwing."

Manuel grinned at that. "I've tried that. To leave things open, to express that I know it is the withdrawl and the paranoia speaking, and not truly her. I know that she does not believe me. Sometimes - no, most of the time - empathy is a curse. I know exactly how she feels. And she knows mine. We must be honest with each other. Always. The little lies that normal people use are forbidden to me. To us."

"Then make it not a lie," Paige answered back, stubbornly. "If she knows your feelings, then perhaps you should point your feelings in that direction, in the direction of caring too much about her to continue fighting. Don't bring up the paranoia. Don't bring up the withdrawl. Hell, don't even think about them, unless it's with concern. Just focus on getting her better for now. The rest can come when you're both more sound."

Manuel shrugs. "It is not that simple, but I will try. It has to be worth attempting. Have you seen her ... no, of course not. You mentioned that you do not speak." he mused. He then sighed again in frustration, his feelings leaking out a bit around his shields. "I do not know what to do with her. I want to help her - I need to help - but she will not permit it! When she thinks of me, she gets angry. She lashes out, I suspect, at whatever is handy. And I am very handy."

"Just keep trying, sugar. Make yourself available, remind her constantly that nothing matters but getting her better, and when she attacks you, which she is bound to do, get right back up and do it again. That's all you can do." Reaching across the table, Paige laid her hand over his with a comforting look; it was easy to put aside his frustration after the last few weeks, months. "And know that when you need a break, when it gets to be too much, I'm right here, alright?"

Manuel grinned and clutched at her hand. "Thank you." he said quietly. "I'm glad you liked the food. I'll give your approach a try. It won't be easy, but I can see that it will need to be tried. So - enough of me and my depressing life - tell me about your new affair, hrm? How very exciting!"

Laughing, Paige shook her head. "First of all, this dinner was about you, depressing or not. And second? I know no more than you do, honestly. I'm just letting it play for a little while and hoping that since I've made myself clear, no one gets burned in the process. I just have so many other things I need to figure out first." Making a face, Paige leaned her elbow on the table, eyes to the sky. "I wish this healing thing would hurry up already."

"So talk to me already! Let me help you as you have helped me!" he said, then leaned back in his chair. "So now you have a new suitor. One more suited to you, I think than your previous liaisons. Is your healing not going well?" he asked. "That is unfortunate. You feel a little more solid to me, emotionally."

"Suited or not, I still happen to be in love with Jono. Who still happens to be a light show. Love sucks. I think I should just become a nun of Chemistry already and get it over with," Paige replied, trying to sound flippant instead of bitter. "My healing is going much better than I could have ever hoped. It's just a slow process is all, and I'm impatient. I want to be all sane and level headed now. And if you bring up the part where I was neither to begin with, I'm kicking you under this table, mister."

Manuel wasn't fooled for an instant. "I should be the last one to critique anyone's choice of who they fall in love with. Light-shows, addicted British gutter-wytchbrats, it's all roughly the same. " he said lightly. Eyes narrowing, he looked at Paige for a moment. "And you're as ill-suited to become a Chemistry nun as I am to run off and join the Blackfriars." he smirked.

"Chemistry nun's don't have to believe in God. They believe in science. And the power of microscopes. Therefore, I am perfectly suited," Paige replied, grinning. "We also don't wear habits but labcoats. It's a good path."

"And belief is very important." he said with a laugh. "Lab-coats with stockings, perhaps?" he grinned, having a moment of sport. "But seriously, though. I take it you don't have any clearly-defined plans for your new suitor? You have odd tastes, but again, I should not comment."

"Jeans, t-shirts and Cons, actually," Paige informed him, with a mock flip of the hair. "Not a plan in the world and he knows as much so I feel a little less guilty. Although, he is rather brilliant, funny, charming, thoughtful, sweet... and he puts up with me, so I really don't see what would be so odd if I did decide to pursue a romantic relationship with him."

Manuel shrugged. "My own experiences are not quite so applicable to this situation. By the rules I was brought up with, you should just take him to your bed so long as it was fun and convenient, or until you got what you wanted from him. The rules here are quite different, as I have discovered." he shrugged. "Stockings would be far sexier."

Paige smiled wryly, for the first time noticing that she'd totally cleaned her plate; how'd that happened? "As fun as giving Forge a heart attack would be, I'm not that kind of girl. Nor am I sexy, hence why the stockings are out."

Manuel bah'ed in fine tradition at that. "Nonsense. Give me twenty-four hours and a budget, and I could clean you up so nicely that you'd have any man on his _knees_ begging to be with you." he said. Without saying a word, he put a little bit more food on her plate. "Or, if that is too much for you to handle, I could at least give you some tips. How to do your hair, how to paint your face, how to wear the right clothes for the right mood." he observed. "Ask Marie-Ange if you doubt me."

"That's a very large fabrication and those are things that will in no way help me save the world," she reminded him, picking up a baby carrot to munch on. Being this hungry was odd. Comforting, but odd. "I mean, I like the idea of my being attractive as much as any other girl... you know. But, there's really no reason to waste the time. Where would I use it? Turn on my test tubes? Make my slides purchase me shiny trinkets to win my affection? It's stupid."

"I think you underestimate how much you really do need the attention of other, actual human beings. Or Mutants. Or whatevers." he said. "Do you plan to string John along, then? Let him pine after you to make you feel more like a woman?"

Paige slowly raised her eyebrows, blinking once. The general vibe was along the line of 'you are way out of line but I'll just resist stabbing you with this fork because I like you' and she didn't bother to worry about whether or not he felt it. "Not at all. I am fully aware that I miss it. But I'm not going to use Forge and toss him away if I suddenly decide that while I love him, I'm not in love with him. And," she added with a slight raise of her chin. "We've already been over the last part. Don't try to hit me where it hurts. It's rude."

Manuel shrugged, and drank from his wineglass. "Wouldn't bother me either way if you did or not. It's none of my concern where you take your sport." he pointed out. She was underestimating him, but then again, everyone did. Sometimes it came in quite handy. "And haven't you heard? I'm Empath. Rudeness is one of my cardinal virtues. Rude, debased, dissipated, useless, stupid, and disagreeable on every level. Do you think that just because I sit in here, or I play around in the music room that I do not hear the whispers in the dark? I'm the craziest of all the crazies."

"Oh, shut up." Paige rolled her eyes, kicking him under the table square in the shin. Why did everyone insist on angsting around her? Spewing with the woe and the ranting? It just had no affect on her anymore. "Your backwards slide into something more comfortable is not the end to this evening I had planned. It's beneath you and an insult to me," she said. "And... I don't take sport with sex, Manuel. Don't think so of me, please."

Manuel blinked. "Why not?" he asked, honestly curious. "Do you not like it or something?" Standing, he reached out to cup her chin in his hand. His eyes flashed as he drove home his point. "NEVER touch me like that again." He let her go and then took his seat again. "Now then. You've got your new infatuation with John. Me? My relationship is going straight to Hell. I may be able to fix it, or I might not." he shrugged.

"You big melodramatic baby. I didn't even tap you hard enough to bruise." Paige sighed, standing as he sat down; like a pop-up book. "No. Most people don't enjoy lies being told about them. But we've hit a downpoint in this conversation. You're feeling threatened, I think, although, I'm not sure why and I'd like to wake up in the morning still enjoying your company," she explained as she folded her napkin and placed it on her empty plate. "Thank you for a lovely dinner, hm? Let me know if you need anything."

Manuel stood up as well. "I'll have a bruise tomorrow." he said with a wince. "Must you be going so soon? I'll behave, I promise." he said with a smile. "We haven't had dessert yet!"

"You should get your iron levels checked, then. I have very precise control over any potentially violent actions I make." She paused with her hand on the doorknob, looking over her shoulder at him suspiciously. "No more calling me a tramp. To go back to my crayon wielding days, it hurts my feelings."

"I said no such thing!" he protested. "Now you have offended me." he said curtly. "Assaulted me and insulted me to my face under my own roof."

"Good. Now we're even. What's for dessert?"

Profile

xp_logs: (Default)
X-Project Logs

June 2025

S M T W T F S
1234567
8 910 11121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 15th, 2025 09:07 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios