Lockheed and Illyana

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Set after the log where Rachel meets Lockheed (to, er, chaotic result). Illyana commiserates, in her own way.


Well, today had not been a total loss for Lockheed. Sure, there'd been some semi-catastrophic hunting failures, but as no one had seen fit to chew on his tail today, it was actually a plus. And oh yes, he was most decidedly still sulking about that. Sure, Kitty had made much of him for the trauma he'd suffered, but she'd also scolded him for sneaking into places he shouldn't be, and for scaring the Rachel Creature. As if that Creature with her Invisible Monster Guardians had anything to be scared of from him. Sure, he could breathe fire, but only some of the time...

But now it was definitely time to go in, curl up on her if he could find her, or her bed if she'd vanished with The Boy again, and take a nap or seven.

Illyana was lying on her back, reading a book and eating a sandwich for supper - an activity she considered more than civilized. When Lockheed slunk into the room, looking somewhat beaten at the edges, she suppressed a half-amused, half surprisingly affectionate grin. Instead, she offered him a small smile, which was supposed to mean, I know how it feels, and I sympathize with you, though this was not something she was really used to expressing. "Hi, Lockheed," she said, picking a piece of chicken out of her sandwich and dangling it in an outstretched hand. "Hungry?"

Lockheed looked up, blinked, and then stared. Well, it looked like Screaming Pillow Girl and it smelled like Screaming Pillow Girl, but it sure didn't sound like her, by virtue of the fact that she was talking to him. And offering him food. Lockheed had grown used to their semi-silent truce where she stayed on her side of the room and he stayed on Kitty's and she only yelled at him if he was actually in her way, and while he had always maintained that he was too cute for anyone to resist feeding eventually, in his heart of hearts he had thought the Screaming Pillow Girl might be a holdout. Of course, now that she had given in, he certainly wasn't going to turn it down.

Knowing The 'Yana got tense when he was flying around the room, Lockheed walked over to sit on the floor next to The 'Yana's bed, taking the offered chicken piece with a chirrup of thanks.

Illyana took a bite of her sandwich, chewing thoughtfully. "It can be hard," she offered, though she wasn't really sure if Lockheed - understood- anything she said. "You know, when there's something cuter that everyone's paying attention to. I heard the new baby
doesn't agree with you." She pulled another extraneous slice of chicken out of her sandwich and offered it to him thoughtfully. "Not that -I've- ever been jealous of anything before, but I hear it's unpleasant." Except you, maybe, she didn't add, because she had pride, not to mention a good share of denial.

Oooooh, the Rachel Creature. Lockheed huffed just at the very mention of the dratted thing. Thinking about her was almost enough to distract him from the chicken. Almost. "Meh," he muttered. "Meh."

The corners of Illyana's mouth quirked, but with brave effort she didn't giggle. "I don't like babies much either," she informed Lockheed. She took a drink of water from a bottle on her nightstand and continued, "Irrational creatures. Everyone cooing over them when
they can't even communicate without killing your eardrums."

Lockheed chirped in agreement, adding a little growl to the effect that babies which came with their own Invisible Monster Guardians were quite unfair and that, really, the whole tail pulling and biting thing could be done without entirely. Of course, it might not
have come across in translation.

Clearly amused, Illyana held out another bit of her sandwich. "Of course, when they impugne your dignity as well . . . well, that must have been - " really funny - "very awful." Why wasn't she ever around for the good stuff?

Taking the chicken, Lockheed peered somewhat suspiciously up at The 'Yana. Sympathy and The 'Yana were not really compatible thoughts in his world, and there was something of a supressed laugh in her voice. He wasn't willing to be teased, even for chicken. Although it was very good chicken.

Noticing Lockheed's expression (if you could really call it that; well, close enough), Illyana straightened her face out and smoothed her tone. She was actually not trying to make too much fun of him. "Babies," she said with a sigh, picking out almost the last of her sandwich and offering it to Lockheed in peace. "Place is suddenly crawling with them. And I thought Clarice was enough. I mean, dragons, all right, I can get used to dragons, you're not so bad - but infants? Spare me."

Huh. The 'Yana actually liked him more than something. That was... reassuring, in a way. And they agreed about at least one other thing besides the fact that Kitty was the best thing in the world. He chirped at her, the tone of which sounded remarkably like, "Babies, who needs 'em."

"Besides," Illyana mused, suddenly looking brighter, "if you get the taste for babies, you'll never want to eat an old lady like me." She paused. "Er. Not that you should eat babies. That would be wrong. Even if they try to eat you," she added, with a significant look at Lockheed's tail.

"Hmph." Lockheed pouted at The 'Yana, pulling his tail closer around him. He hadn't actually tried to eat the Rachel Creature, and she had definitely attcked him first. Plus she had Invisible Monster Guardians. Eating her was unlikely in the extreme.

"Oh, don't worry, I don't think you ever would. Though it might make things more interesting around here. Also in a bad way," she amended hastily, suddenly looking put upon. "If I corrupt you, I'll never hear the end of it." She pitched her voice higher, into a mocking falsetto. "'Oh, Illyana, why did you have to teach Lockheed to eat Clarice's clothes? You're so mean.'" She settled back, looking sulky.

Not for the first time, Lockheed considered if, really, The 'Yana wasn't completely nuts. Who in their right mind would want to eat clothes? Let alone Sparkly Purple Girl's? The sparkles were distinctly unappetizing looking, not to mention some part of him looked at thoes bright colors and went "Danger, Danger Lockheed Robinson." Clearly not safe food things. He narrowed his eyes suddenly at The 'Yana, wondering if perhaps this was not unlike Crazy Metal Stick Man's tricking him into eating the firestickfood. Maybe this was all a trap to make him think she wasn't as crazy as she seemed?

Lockheed's expression alerted her to his immediate surroundings - e.g., near her neatly-folded pile of clean laundry. Her face shifted to horror. Unfortunately, not of the mute kind. "Lockheed!" she shouted, going from normal to harpy in less than two seconds. Quality hour with Illyana was over. "Away! Off! Shoo! Go find Kitty's clothes! Or a cigarette to eat! Now!"

Starlted, Lockheed lept backwards, scattering the laundry as his wings snapped open and he flapped to keep from tumbling into the bookshelf. "Grph," he muttered at The 'Yana as he fluttered in place. Yes, she was clearly insane. Why else would she suddenly start to yell. Of course, in Lockheed's experience, The 'Yana's yelling was often followed by a pillow or two and it was with this in mind that he turned tail and shot towards Kitty's bed, diving underneath. Cover, had to get to cover.

Settling back, Illyana glared at the spot Lockheed had vacated. "And stay away," she snapped sulkily. It just went to prove that dragons were trouble. Even if they weren't going to eat you. "You're probably unsanitary," she added beneath her breath.

"Hmph," Lockheed muttered from underneath the bed. Who would want to go anywhere near the crazy 'Yana, anyways?