xp_logs | Falling Stars (Nathan, Jean, Madelyn, late afternoon/evening)

Nathan finds Jean in the sunroom. They talk a little about his trip, before Nathan has one of his episodes and manages to tell Jean to look at the Askani. Which she does - and sees something very shocking.

Sunroom. Jean was in the sunroom - meditating? Nathan headed in that direction, fairly convinced from what he could sense of the patterns of her thoughts that she was indeed meditating. Something he needed to do, really. He had slept a little more this afternoon, but he still felt very strange.

It was harder to find her calm center these days. Strange to think that she'd actually felt better when she hadn't been getting enough sleep and working between twelve and sixteen hours a day to save Haroun than she did now that there was time to take care of herself. But that also meant there was time to actually feel again.

Nathan reached out and brushed her thoughts, when he got to the doorway, just to let her know that he was there. "Hey," he said tiredly as she opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"Hi," Jean said. "Welcome back. Come, sit down." She gestured to one of the other chairs. "How was the trip?"

"Lovely scenery. Unfortunately unproductive - a dead end, at least for now. Oh, and my uncle stopped by." He managed a slight smile as her eyes widened. "There was no hitting. Or assisted asphyxiation. Don't look at me like that."

"You look... all right." Not really fine. He looked too tired and worn out for fine. But all right. "So I guess we won't add this one to the list of reasons why we want to hunt him down and make him hurt...?"

"Found out the truth about why I remember so little of my childhood," Nathan said, shrugging a little. "Gideon was in Alaska. But he synched to my mother's telepathy - practicing, I'd assume - and used me as a guinea pig. That would be why it didn't show up as damage, since it was her telepathy." Jean knew all about related mutants and similar powers, he didn't need to explain it to her. "I'm not sure what he removed, apart from any memory of himself, obviously. But," he said with a humorless smile, "I'd wager that's why the memories I have are so odd. My mind trying to paper over the holes by constructing whole memories from what was left."

"Oh hell..." Jean's voice was soft. "I take that back, then."

"It's all right, Jean." He stared down at his hands for a moment, and then looked up at her, mustering a more solid smile. "It's best to know. And it makes a lot of things make sense, finally, and that was what I wanted all along, if you get what I mean?" He looked, really looked at her, and frowned a little. "You look exhausted," he said softly. "Hell of a briefing last night, wasn't it? Whatever happened to getting a break between crises?"

"We are fate's punching bag," Jean said, her natural optimism having been worn away over the last month and a half. "The lot of us. It explains so much."

"You need a vacation, Red," Nathan said, not quite lightly.

"Well, I'm getting married this month," she told him, arching an eyebrow at his tone, "and to the best of my knowledge Scott is not planning on taking a honeymoon in one of the guest suites."

"Speaking of Scott... that is not quite the same man who was buckling under the stress a year ago during our similarly exciting fall. Then again, that doesn't surprise me. I know all about the therapeutic properties of redheads..." Nathan trailed off, shaking his head. "I'm jetlagged. Which is dumb, because I never get jetlagged."

Jean looked at Nathan closely, eyebrows knitting in worry. "Are you feeling all right, Nate? You seem a bit... off."

He bit his lip. "Got... effectively pickpocketed in northern Kashmir. Unfortunately one of the things they took was that new prescription you all pushed at me a week or so before I left. I've been off it for four days. Moira's had more delivered. I'll get back on it tonight, with dinner."

"Oh hell." Jean leaned forward, examining him more closely. Moira would already have gone over him thoroughly, though. "Why didn't you call?"

Nathan blinked at her. "We were in northern Kashmir," he said, as if that explained it all. "I'm okay, Jean. I made Angelo drive after that, just in case... well, I did the next day, and that was as much to do with the hangover as anything else." He rubbed at the spot between his eyes, wincing at the stabbing pain. "And hey, the headaches didn't go away when I got off the medication, so probably they aren't related?"

"No, really, that's not an upside. God, just stopping taking anti-epileptics is not a good idea..." She sighed in frustration, but it wasn't really frustration with him. Truthfully, there wasn't anything that could have been done.

"Hey, like I said, I'll be back on them again as soon as I have food to take them with," Nathan said, trying to cheer her up.

The attempt got him a half hearted smile. "Don't worry about me," Jean said. "It distracts me from my worrying about you."

"Well, we can't have that." Nathan tilted his head - and then leaned it on his hand, because otherwise he was tilting sideways a little too much. "Scott says you're within range of active status again. Mentioned after the briefing last night that he wants me to run through some stuff with you... TK tests and the like. Once I'm properly cleared for the Danger Room again, I mean."

Jean caught the tilt, a little worried frown forming, but she nodded. "Yes. Just need to get the test results and have them approved by Charles and the team leaders."

"Well, I'm all yours. Except when I'm the trainees', because apparently I'm supposed to be working with some of them, too." There was a note of something close to petulance in his voice for a moment, and, very unlike Nathan, he didn't immediately look ashamed of himself for it. "When I'm less jetlagged. Clearly."

#And less off your meds?# Jean suggested.

"That too," Nathan muttered, and winced, shaking his head a little. "I wanted to ask... but they're not, it's strange," he said, sounding almost totally disjointed as he turned his attention inwards and found... confusion.

"What's strange?" Jean asked, sensing his confusion from the brief touch of his mind.

"Askani." He raised a slightly unsteady hand to his temple. "I think there's something really wrong," he said finally, hoarsely. "Not just them being put off by something, again... this is different."

Jean bit her lip, watching him. "I... I think it's related, Nathan. I don't know how, or why, but... I think your headaches, and the blackouts, and all of this. I think it's related."

"Those dreams about Santiago keep coming back," Nathan said very softly. "I think maybe I know... that it is related. I just didn't want to admit it." He looked up at her again. "I have many dates with the machine that goes ping, apparently," he said, trying to sound light again. "It'll get sorted out."

"I know," she said, nodding. "We'll figure it out. I mean, it's not like you don't have some of the most brilliant minds in the field of mutations working on the case."

"And one of the most brilliant happens to be particularly highly motivated," Nathan pointed out. "Although I don't want her to wear herself out again, either..." The frown was a bit disgruntled. "Hate being high-maintenance. Every time I think I've broken the habit, something new comes up."

"Really, what you need to do is start sharing the high-maintenance title. Scott and I take turns."

"Very egalitarian of you," Nathan complimented her. "So long as you don't start doing it at the same time."

"We're working on a schedule," Jean said, an actual smile hovering at the edges of her lips. "I mean, it's Scott and I, so it's organized."

"Color-coded," Nathan said, and closed his eyes. "I can feel the patterns in your mind still," he said. "They're not quite meshing. You're tired."

"Don't start," Jean said, clearly meaning it. "I am sleeping, and taking care of myself. I just still have some catching up to do."

"Just making an observation." He slouched a little further in the chair. The trip and the jetlag and the oddness inside his head, and Gideon... "And besides, right at this moment I'm not one to talk."

"Yes, that's us, a pair of exhausted telepaths looking at each other's brain and going 'you feel tired'."

"Suppose we're going to wind up in a feedback loop of tiredness, and someone will come in to find us both on the floor?"

"I think we should avoid that, if at all possible." She managed a proper smile. "They'd worry. They'd worry a lot. And that's actually almost more tiring yet."

"Yes, because first you have the worry, and then you have the semi-infantilization, and then I sulk..." Oh, wow, he was out of it. Nathan started to push himself back up out of the chair, but then sat down hard again as the muscles in the arm he was leaning on spasmed suddenly. "Ow."

There went the smile. "Woah, Nathan..." She was out of her seat and kneeling next to him in seconds.

"Not doing this," he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut. He couldn't stop his arm from shaking, though, and the buzzing in his ears... he didn't like that. "Jean?" he asked almost plaintively, and it was hard even to get her name out.

"Breathe, Nate," she said, taking hold of his shaking arm. His hand was cold, and she began to massage it, increasing the blood flow. "I'm here."

He was seeing stars. On the insides of his eyelids, bursting and exploding, and he tried to do as she told him and breathe but it felt like there was an iron band tightening around his chest. "Look," he said unevenly. "Look at... them, see."

"You breathe and I'll look," she told him, not liking the way his pulse was jumping around at all. Strengthening her shields she reached out and carefully touched his mind.

The firebird was there, in his mind, but withdrawn in on itself, wings folded, as it hovered there in that internal sky. All of the stars were falling, drawn down towards it as if by some sort of gravitational pull.

#Askani,# Jean called out towards the familiar bird. #Please, tell me. What's going on?#

Askani turned, the barest impression of her familiar face visible amid the light. Then the firebird spread its wings and dove, all of the stars falling after it. Leaving the sky black and empty, a sudden absence that was enough of a shock to push Jean back out of Nathan's mind.

"I feel sick," Nathan muttered, his eyes still closed. "My head's killing me."

"You're not the only one," Jean said, staring at him. "We should... we should get you down to the lab..."

"Help me up? Feeling kind of shaky, here..." Which was putting it mildly, but whatever had just happened, she was right. He needed to be going downstairs and letting the machines that went ping have a look for themselves. Or something like that.

"Goes without saying," Jean said, tugging him carefully to his feet. His balance seemed a bit shaky, too, so she pulled his arm around her shoulder.

"I should've just walked in and said 'Hi, I'm home, is my medlab bed ready?'"

"Well, at least I know you're going to be okay. After all, you've still got your biting wit."

It's Madelyn's turn to run him through the machines that go ping, and when he tells her about what happened with the Askani, she makes a connection.

The EEG having been run, Nathan was currently sitting quietly on the exam table, waiting for the last of his equilbrium to return. He was still feeling slightly sick to his stomach, but at least the headache was receding. So dunking the next pickpocket in the nearest body of water, he thought dimly. Could this all be just side effects from being off the new medication? Jean had seemed awfully concerned when she'd hauled him down here. Although then she'd left him in Maddie's hands and gone to talk to Charles, which seemed a little odd.

Madelyn came back in, frowning down at the strip of tape in her hands. More of those weird spikes, the same as before the medication. And Jean had been more than usually worried. "How're you feeling now?" she asked, looking up at Nathan over the top of her glasses. "Still got the headache?"

"Not too bad," Nathan said after a moment, looking up at her. "The headache, I mean. It's easing off." He mustered up a faint smile. "So, did I do it to myself, losing my pills? Maybe I should have chased the kid down after all."

"Well, it's hard to tell how much the pills were doing, given we hadn't had you on them long and there's not a lot of data, but they are making a difference of some sort. I'm just not sure if they're helping or just masking a deeper problem," she replied honestly, reaching for the blood pressure cuff almost automatically. "These headaches and the nausea - how long have you had them?"

"The headaches in general?" Nathan asked a bit vaguely, holding out his arm. "Since a few days after I started on the new medication. The nausea... this is new. I think I zoned out again while we were in the sunroom." He sighed a little. "I'm so jet-lagged at the moment, Maddie, I'm not sure what end is up. I doubt that's helping."

"Jean mentioned the zone out. She said something else too, something... odd. Stars falling from the sky?" Madelyn wrapped the cuff around Nathan's arm and placed her stethoscope in the crook of his elbow, listening to the steady pulse as she inflated the cuff. "A bit poetical for Jean, especially in terms of medical issues."

"It's not medical," Nathan said, staring a bit blankly over her shoulder at the wall. "The Askani. That's how I've always seen them. Stars in a night sky, in my mind. Only they all fell while Jean was watching. I've been waiting for them to do that," he said, giving his head a little shake. "I've been dreaming about it."

"'Fell', how?" Madelyn asked, frowning a little as her brain started putting things together. Nathan's blood pressure was fine - in all respects, apart from the healing injuries dealt to him by Pete, he was in good health. Perhaps this wasn't medical after all. "I'm sorry if I'm a bit blunt, but not being a psi..." She let that hang. "I thought being in your head meant they were safe?"

Nathan looked up at her, and the sadness in his gaze was sudden and piercing. "They're leaving. Fading. I don't know what to call it. If it hadn't been happening before... my accident, I would have thought that was to blame."

Something clicked in Madelyn's head and she grabbed the clipboard with Nathan's notes on it. Moira had all the files from Muir locked, but these were Madelyn's personal notes on Nathan since she'd started treating him. "About when did it start?" she asked, flipping back pages. "The Askani leaving?"

"I've been losing voices for months," Nathan said slowly, looking away again. "Like the many voices have been collapsing into one. Asked Charles about it and he pointed out that they were all Askani's memories to begin with. But it's been happening faster lately. I don't know that they're all gone, even now. They're just... not where they were," he finished, uncertainly.

"And these symptoms, the headaches, the zone outs, the irritability... they've been ongoing for months as well, or at least, they seem to be." Madelyn chewed meditatively on her pen. "Would you mind if I ran some more tests? The MRI, maybe some bloodwork to check on your neurochemistry... I want to compare from when the Askani first... ah, 'arrived' to now, see if their disappearances are causing these symptoms. If there's a correlation between the two, we might have to call in Charles to help..." She was talking more to herself than Nathan, as was her habit when her brain was travelling faster than her interaction skills.

"Whatever tests you'd like." The answer was a little apathetic-sounding, and Nathan shook his head, irritable at himself now. "Sorry. I mean, yes. Whatever tests you'd like. Jean went to talk to Charles, I think, when she left me with you."

Madelyn frowned a little at the lack of response, but reminded herself Nathan had only just gotten back from Kashmir, and had mentioned the jetlag already. "That's right, Jean went to talk to Charles. And since I've got you in my clutches already, let's get those tests started." She probably shouldn't sound quite so enthusiastic, but following possible leads was what Madelyn did best. She did, however, briefly lay a hand on Nathan's shoulder. "And then I think some downtime with your wife and daughter is in order. I'll tell Moira I'll take her shift so she has the rest of the evening off." It wasn't perhaps as self-sacrificing as it sounded - Madelyn knew she'd be down here running data from the test results any way. "I'd like to look at some of your older files, the ones from Muir, if you give me permission. I want to get a general picture of how your brain works."

Nathan nodded, sliding down off the examining table. "You'll have to get them from Moira. She still keeps them under lock and key and heavy encryption... old habits die hard." As he followed Maddie in the direction of the MRI machine, he gave her a brief, assessing look. "Oh, yes. Saw my uncle in Kashmir. He has the damnedest habit of popping up in remote locations, I'm noticing."

"That would be why I asked..." Madelyn began, but then the bit about Gideon sank in and she almost paused in mid-step. "Well, given the lack of reports of massive property damage, and the lack of new and impressive bruises, I'm guessing it was another of those cryptic conversation type meetings instead of the sort where you throw cars at each other?" she asked, echoing his almost casual demeanour. If it was a problem, he would have led with it.

"Actually have something I need to give you. Or Moira, or Jean, I guess..." he murmured, following her. "DNA graphs he gave me. One of them looks familiar, like I've seen it before." He shook his head a little. "But yeah. Cryptic conversation." He'd tell her later. He still needed to talk to Charles himself, about what had been said and not-said.

"Definitely Jean or Moira," Madelyn said instantly. "Genetics are more their thing." When it came to medicine Madelyn was perfectly happy admitting her limitations. That was how they worked down here, as a team that utilised everyone's pet skills. "As for the rest... it's good to see you came out intact, if not unscathed."

"I don't actually think either of them wants to hurt me, per se. Not these days, at least," Nathan said as they reached the MRI machine and he assumed the usual position. "Yank me around like a new toy, yes, but hurt me, no."

"They don't have to physically throw you around to hurt you," Madelyn pointed out as she moved to the controls to slide Nathan into place within the machine. "But I'm thinking they and you already know that." She gave him a humourless grin. "You know the drill - keep still, okay?" she instructed, before heading for the small control booth.