xp_logs | Scott, Alex- Friday Morning

The morning after the online spat with Amanda, Scott comes to check on Alex who isn't doing well. They talk at each other and nothing is accomplished except Alex feels comforted by his big brother's presence and gets to let his stress out in the open

Sighing, Alex looked up at the ceiling from where he lay in bed. Shiro had taken him to the Danger Room last night to blow off steam, or Alex's case, pure power. It had helped...a little. So had the sleeping pills Terry had gotten him from Bobby. And yet, the next morning, his short online fight with Amanda still bothered him.

A knock came at the door to his bedroom. When Alex didn't respond, it opened, Scott looking around the doorframe. "Hey," he said quietly, coming in. "I'm sorry about last night. If it sounded like I was snapping at you, on the journals. I really wasn't."

Alex just shrugged, his eyes not moving from the spot on the ceiling. "It's alright. If I kept going...I would have said to much. And while I don't mind a few people knowing...the whole mansion is a different story."

"I never wanted that to get spread around," Scott said softly. "She's clearly... not in her right mind, Alex. Something's happened, I don't know what."

"Amanda's the monster...Lorna...something's wrong, she's being controlled is all." His voice was firm but he still wouldn't look at his brother. "She'd never do that on her own, I refuse to believe it..."

"I don't know why anyone would expect you to believe it," Scott said, not addressing Alex's first comment. His voice was almost matter-of-fact. "There's no way she'd be doing this of her own accord. Not Lorna."

Alex just nodded in response. "I know...I know." A single tears escaped, much to Alex's surprise as he thought he had none left. "And just...what Amanda did...on top of it all..." He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry Scott...I shouldn't be so upset over this."

"... why?"

"Because you have other things ot worry about. It didn't happen to me...none of this did. Lorna...is trapped somewhere and Amanda didn't drain from me. And yet here I am...completely torn apart..."

"Alex..." Scott regarded him for a long moment. "You shouldn't expect yourself to shut off your emotions about this," he finally said, quietly. "The woman you love is out there, in danger. Telling yourself that you should be keeping a stiff upper lip isn't going to do anything but make you feel like a failure when you can't."

"What am I supposed to do Scott?!" He pounded a fist onto the bed next to him, again opening his eyes, blues filled with desperation. "Sitting here and waiting isn't doing me nor her any good!"

Scott's expression changed subtly. It was the sort of fainted startled look that one got when one had just heard someone else say something blatantly obvious. There was compassion in his voice as he answered Alex, but also a certain wonderment. "... Alex. You can't do anything."

He closed his eyes again, let his head fall back. "I know...And thus the circle comes complete...I can't do anything except sit here helpless..." Finally, Alex looked over at Scott, the desperation, confusions and depression clear. "I'm not a hero like her..."

A trace of something else crossed Scott's face, but was gone again before Alex would have had a chance to figure out what it was. "The X-Men are sitting here too, Alex," Scott pointed out, his voice still quiet.

Alex nodded. "No leads...I know. And our best one is in the medlab. I should be grateful to Amanda...but I'm not. I can't...I would never condone what she did." He looked away again. "I'm not blaming anybody Scott...How am I supposed to feel?"
Scott's expression didn't alter, although it may have hardened, just a little. "Why," he said very softly, "are you asking me?"
"Because I don't know."

Scott shook his head a little. "I don't have any answers for you," he said simply. "There aren't any. You hold on, or you don't. You fall, and you pick yourself back up and keep holding on, or you stay on the ground, Alex. There's no solution, no resolution, until we have a lead that pans out."

Alex nodded again with a sigh, "Somehow, I knew you'd say that...And I will pick myself up again, because I know I have to walk out that door and face the world again." He didn't voice his fear that the next time...he was afraid he wouldn't get up again. Sighing, he took a deep breath and sat up. "Scott..." without another word, he scooted forward to hug his big brother.

Scott hugged him back. "We'll find her. I won't give up on a member of my team, Alex. I'd never do that."

Alex nodded into Scott's shoulder and after a few moments, his soft voice said, "You know how Lorna always said it scared her how much she depended on me...I'm beginning to realize that it goes both ways..." He sat back and wiped his eyes. "Thanks Scott."