xp_logs | Log: Remy/Moira

Remy ends up talking to Moira at night in her lab about Amanda.

The labwork never ends, Moira considered, walking into the dark room. She'd just put down Rachel when an idea had struck her, and she headed downstairs to crosscheck a couple of the readings she'd pulled from Marius during his rehabilitation. Automatically she crossed over to the coffee pot and poured herself a mug, firmly telling herself that all she'd do was check the files, add a few notes, and set things up to research fully tomorrow. Between Nathan being gone and Rachel needing care, she couldn't justify the all-nighter in the lab.

"Och jaysus!" Moira's startled scream choked off barely, as she saw the figure sitting in the chair at the end of the lab, deep in the shadows. While she'd stopped the shriek, it didn't stop her sopping hot coffee over her hand. Muttering to herself as she put her hand under the cold water tap, the figure leaned forward.

"Do ye have to go for the dramatic every blasted time, LeBeau?" Sitting alone in the dark waiting for her. Like she didn't have a blasted cellphone or an office. She looked up at the silence, drying her hand carefully. "Remy?"

"I wanted to talk to you first. Alone." Remy leaned forward, hands wrapped around the handle of the cane and his chin resting on the back of them. "I want you to tell me 'bout 'manda."

Moira froze for a second and then sighed. “Ye ‘eard ‘bout email or somethin’ like tha’?” she asked, grumping around while she cleaned up what coffee had made to the floor. Turning to refill the mug, not looking at him, she continued. “Wha’, exactly, ‘ave ye been told up ta this point?”

There was no real reason to hide the truth from him, she mused, putting the coffee pot back and turning to face him again. He’d find out soon enough and she was probably one of the best to approach. If he had seen the journals, he would have known something was going on.

"Little. Remy been on de journals, saw de discussion. Betsy told me de rest." Remy's voice was flat and calm, the same way that Nathan's got when he was entirely focused on an issue. Or when ready to go into battle. "De problem, course, is dat Remy wasn't really dere to know for sure. You were. So tell me what happened?”

“One o’ th’ ones there, aye.” Snagging a lab chair, Moira sank into it thoughtfully. “Wha’ ‘appened? We were losin’ ye, ye know tha’. Pretty much nothin’ we can do, ye were ta far gone for medical ‘elp at th’ time.” This he knew but she needed to tell it again, press in exactly how desperate the situation had been. “Amanda ‘eard us sayin’ we were losin’ ye, came inta th’ operatin’ room an’ pushed us ta th’ side, keepin’ us from ye.”

Taking a sip of coffee, she looked up and locked eyes with Remy. “Amanda dinnae do ‘er normal ‘ealin’, ye were ta far gone for simple spells o’ tha’ nature, she needed some more powerful. An’ ta do tha’ she needed more energy.” Moira’s eyes went cold. “She took tha’ energy from us, drew it out from Henry, Jean, Maddie an’ myself. On top o’ th’ FoHer, Tommy down th’ ‘all, an’ from Manuel.”

"Hmm." Remy made a non-committal noise, obviously just taking everything in. "And den?”

“Amanda was restricted ta ‘er rooms while Charles an’ others attempted ta figure out wha’ exactly was goin’ on wit’ her. She, for reasons only known ta ‘er, decided tha’ it was time ta leave. She assaulted Manuel, again pullin’ life energy from ‘im, shattered th’ link an’ then left. We’re nay sure where she’s gone off ta now.”

"Based on what I read, she was expelled." Remy corrected quietly. There was something coiled about him, like a trap ready to go off. "As for Manuel, did she attack him to hurt him or to break the link?"

She shook her head at that. “Ta be ‘onest, I’m nay sure. I…would like ta believe tha’ she attacked ‘im ta break th’ link. It…” Moira made a frustrated noise. “It would be in line wit’ ‘ow she helped ye, drawin’ on th’ life energy ta utilize whatever spell she did. But right now, all we’ve got is Manuel’s side o’ things and ta ‘im, he was assaulted.”

"Remy sure of dat." LeBeau's almost passive questioning was slightly maddening. "Tell me something, Moira. If 'manda hadn't of stepped in when she did, or took time to get volunteers for de spell, would I have died?"

Moira nodded, once. “Aye, ye were crossin’ th’ line pretty fast.” Closing her eyes for a second, she sighed, shoulders slumping. “I’m torn ‘bout this entire thin’. She performed a miracle but I’ve nay idea where tha’ ability came from. ‘ad she asked…I would ‘ave volunteered…”

"Maybe she knew dat." Remy stared off into space for a moment, mind working furiously. He took a deep breath and focused back on Moira. "Remy saw de comments on de journals. Anyone talk to her 'bout it?"

“Nathan did, but I know it dinnae go well. I should ‘ave but…she thinks we failed her an’ maybe I did.” The emotions she had faced during the whole ordeal were rising to the surface, the pain, the hurt, the thought of failing Amanda. And the scared—for herself, for Amanda, for Rachel. “Somethin’s been goin’ on right under our noses an’ I’m nay sure wha’ exactly it was. I’m missin’ pieces an’ I dinnae know wha’ ta think anymore.”

"Remy might." Moira had put most of the pieces in place for him. "It was fear, wasn't it? When dey found out dat 'manda could suck de life out of someone, it was dat reacted to, as opposed to the reasons, oui?"

She nodded again, running a hand through her hair. “Aye, tha’s wha’ most o’ th’ impression I got was. My fear wasnae ‘bout tha’—I’ve seen worse in my time—but Rachel could ‘ave been down in th’ labs. Th’ amount o’ energy she pulled wasnae enough ta do us verra much damage but for a wee baby…” Her daughter. “That is where my fear an’ anger lie, trut’ be told.”

"And de fact dat she wasn't didn't carry much weight. Bet not wit' Nate either." Remy sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew how powerful a weapon fear was. Gambit had employed it deliberately, to the extent that even now, he was a bogeyman in the shadow world. "'manda fucked up, Moira, but we not all dat far behind."

She gave him a wry smile. “It carries some but…I’ve still got issues wit’ Manuel over his threats ta nay give consideration ta Rachel before she was born. ‘Tis ‘ard ta let go o’ tha’ anger, though I do try. This entire situation is, as ye say, fucked up an’ I’m nay sure which way ta turn anymore. I want ta ‘elp ‘er, I’ve tried an’ if we get ‘er back, I’ll keep tryin’. But I can only do so much when she’s nay willin’ ta step forward.”

"Hasn't she? Dat femme, for de lack of a better term, has had de life ripped out of her over de last six months. First Pete, den Charlie... den Nate." Remy shook his head. "Whatever she's gotten herself wrapped up in is wrong, but dat doesn't mean dat it was entirely her choice."

“I dinnae say tha’ it was,” Moira snapped. Gritting her teeth, she took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. But I was workin’ wit’ her durin’ th’ summer an’ nay one bloody mention o’ wha’ she was able ta do when she saved ye. ‘ad she come ta me, ‘ad I known, things may ‘ave turned out differently.”

"Dat's true. Guess de question is why she didn't? De answer could be because she didn't think she could any more."

Remy leaned on to his cane and got up painfully. "Dat's de pieces dat Remy been trying to put together, Moira. Remy likely bias because her magic put me back together again. But in de conversations dat I've seen, dere's been a lot of accusations 'bout de fact she didn't come to de teachers for help, and a lack of wonder about why she didn't."

He limped over the to counter, leaning on it while talking. "Dey've asked her to use hell to put people back together. Risk her own life and more. Taught her dat people paid to fight other people's wars are alright as long as dey family. Dat people in here face de law only if de Professor asks. Den when things come apart, dey blame her for not understanding de line, and one by one her 'family' disappears and people don't seem interested in her any more."

"After all most two years here, she should know better." Moira said hotly.

"You think so?" Remy's face was impassive. "You ever been a whore, Moira?"

If the question had caught her unawares, she didn’t show it, just tilted her head at him. “I ‘ad my wilds days when I was younger but nay in tha’ way,” she said, simply, letting him lead this part of the conversation.

"Remy has. Up until a year and half back, so was 'manda." Remy took a sip of the coffee, using it to let the words hang. "Part of being dat is de idea dat de only thing dat you worth is what people willing to take from you. 'manda's made some stupid bargin for dis knowledge wit' someone, and Remy bet de reason is because she thought dat no one here wanted anything else from her, so why dey bother to give a damn any more?"

‘Because we still do!’ was what Moira wanted to say, scream really, but she controlled herself again, clutching the mug as tightly as she could. “Was it because o’ Rachel or work or…other thin’s tha’ drove her ta believe tha’? I wish I ‘ad th’ answer ta tha’ and ‘alf a dozen other questions. I wish I could ‘ave done somethin’ different, wish I could ‘ave seen wha’ was goin’ on before all o’ this shit built up. Did we fail ‘er? She obviously seems ta believe tha’ an’ I dinnae know where we went wron’.” In this messed up situation, it seemed that they had failed each other.

"And now she's gone fuck knows where, and de person whispering in her ear is de one dat seems right." Remy took another, longer sip. "Looks like everyone fucked up dis time. Fear. She scared of losing de last few things she felt she had; control, me. She's does what she can and runs straight into anger and expulsion. Dis isn't right, Moira. 'manda made a bad decision, but part of de blame for it rests in de hands of de people who promised to be there and weren't."

Anger was harder to control and it was aimed at so many people but she managed it, the pressure of her hands on her cooling coffee the only thing she could do to focus past it. “I never said it dinnae,” she said, knowing he would read the myriad of emotions in her tone. “We all ‘ave a ‘and in this, Amanda included, an’ none o’ us are thinkin’ straight about it.”

‘Damn him,’ she thought, closing her eyes tightly. ‘Damn him an’ meself.’ Ever since the incident, she’d pushed it away, tried not to think about it, thrown herself into her work. And in the end, it had been a huge disservice to herself and to Amanda.

"Remy going after her. I figured you'd already guessed dat." LeBeau's voice had never raised the entire conversation. People had noted the almost passive nature he had since waking up. Just that sense of watching, taking everything in. "But I'm not going to be enough, Moira. If 'manda can step back from crossing de final line, it's going to have to be because she's got something solid to step back to. Dat's what I need from you."

Moira gave a choked laugh. “Remy, look at who my ‘usband is an’ wha’ he’s done in ‘is life. If yer askin’ if I can forgive Amanda an’ be there for ‘er, th’ answer is yes. I guess tha’s th’ meanin’ o’ family…yer still family nay matter wha’.” She didn’t know where Nathan stood on it but, in this case, it was her decision of where to go now. “I’ll be ‘ere, like I always am.”

"It not just you, and not just forgiveness, Moira. Can you get de rest of dem to agree wit' dat. More important, understand dat making it all 'bout what she's done isn't good enough if dey not willing to own up to demselves?" There was a long tense moment, before she tightly nodded. Remy let out the breath he was holding and sagged a little. For the first time, she was struck at how fragile LeBeau looked, something you tended to forget about talking to the man.

"Ye shouldnae be up."

"Non, dere's nothing dat sleep going to do right now." Remy took a sip from the mug and smiled at her. "It's chicory in dere, isn't it? Dat's why dey can't figure out how you get it to taste like dis."

Moira smiled, just a little bit, at that. “Amon’ other thin’s,” she admitted. Most weren’t even able to stomach the strong brew long enough to attempt to figure out exactly what was in it. She sagged in the chair, feeling tired again. “I’ll do wha’ I can ‘ere while ye try ta brin’ ‘er back. I’ll fight for ‘er because she needs it. I jus’ hope it does some good.”

"I owe it to her to open dat door." Remy said tired. "Remy just hope she still enough of herself to walk through it. Merci, chere." He picked up his cane and leaned heavily on it, lmiping out of the lab, leaving her to her thoughts.