![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xp_daytripper posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
xp_logsAmanda has a visitor during her self-enforced grounding. Betsy lets on she knows far more than Amanda is comfortable with.
She wasn't a teacher anymore. It wasn't her damn responsibility. Though Betsy still couldn't stop as she looked about the student landing. All the while feeling jumpy, like a caged animal about to bolt.
Frank was dead. Charlie was dead, Remy damn near died. And Amanda was hurting, she kept reminding herself. If that wasn't enough reason for her to be here, then what else would?
Standing resolutely at Amanda's door, Betsy knocked. She already knew Amanda was inside, politely announcing her presence, Betsy waited to see if the young witch would actually show her face.
The knock came as a surprise. It had been so long - days, weeks? She'd lost count - since anyone had made the attempt, beyond the trays of food Marie-Ange left outside her door and which Amanda sometimes ate, sometimes left. "Who is it?" she asked at last, voice cracking from disuse.
"Amanda, it's Betsy," she said hesitantly. The sound of the young girl's voice throwing her off slightly. "Open up, will ya?"
There was a long pause, and then there was the sound of the lock being turned. The door was inched open slowly and Amanda's pale face appeared around the edge of it. Behind her the room was dim, curtains drawn against the light. "Betsy?" Amanda asked, slightly warily. She hadn't wanted to open the door to an adult, especially one as... unpredictable as Betsy, but her countryman was Remy's colleague and friend too, so that counted for something. It also meant that she'd probably have information - turfing her laptop out with the rest of her shite was a nice dramatic gesture, but there was a definite flaw. Amanda had effectively cut herself off from the mansion, and had no idea what was going on outside her room. Including how Remy was. Betsy would at least know, although she wasn't sure if she'd tell. "Um, sorry to seem rude, but what are you doing here?" The South London accent was definitely less pronounced than it had been.
"How about genuine concern, for starters." Betsy said, as she jammed her foot in the doorway and pushed her way in. With her trenchcoat trailing after her, Betsy turned around and smiled down at Amanda. "You never seemed the hermit-sort, 'manda. Nomadic, maybe. But the boxing-yourself in a hole bit, seems slightly off."
Amanda raised her eyebrow at both the words and the action, but didn't move to make Betsy leave. Which she knew she could do. The room was dim and bare, stripped of anything that made it personalised, close with the slightly stale air of a room that's been continually occupied for an extended period. With a small shrug, she closed the door behind Betsy and replied: "I'm just making things easier. Better to lock myself in than to have Marko haul me downstairs and lock me up. Besides, it's not like anyone's really wanting to admit I'm still here." Sadness flickered in her face for an instant, but was quickly gone. Hesitating just slightly, she asked: "Have you... How's Remy?"
Giving Amanda a sidelong glance before taking in the sparse look at the room, Betsy shrugged. "He's managing as best as can be expected. A good thing is that his appetite has been somewhat voracious since he woke up. Betsy took a seat on top of the tousled bed covers. "Is that all you wanted to know? How's Remy? How about Nate, Amanda? Or Kurt.... Oh, oh, even better! How about Meggan? Did you remember her? I wonder how she's been holding up since the one person she cared for on this earth has gone up and disappeared. But you probably know already since you still pop online and connect to the journals." She paused, her finger going into the air as if struck with a profound thought. Oh, wait." Her shoulders sagged theatrically. "You can't."
"Nate made it pretty clear he wants nothing more to do with me," Amanda said, expression closing off. Yay, more guilt trips. She almost wished they'd throw her out and be done with it - at least she wouldn't have to listen to this shite any more. "Kurt knows where I am, an' Captain Fuckwad spelled it out that I'm not allowed anywhere near Meg in case I suck her dry or somesuch. She's got people to look after her." Better than I ever could, she mentally added, but left unsaid. Betsy was a telepath, let her react to the thought, or not, as she wished.
"Look," Betsy said resignedly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have walked in here like that but you didn't seem exactly ecstatic to see me either." Propping her arms behind her back, Betsy was now looking up at the tight-lipped teenager, a grimace forming on her soft features. "How about I tell you I've been worried about you before what happened and I didn't feel comfortable with what I've been sensing lately." Betsy added, slyly. "Let's say I've noticed some things these past few cycles."
Fuck. Amanda's eyes widened just a hint and she turned slightly away before she gave herself away entirely. "Can you blame me for not bein' happy to see you?" she said quietly. "People're callin' me a monster for what I did, and you're the first person I've talked to in a week. Besides, I killed Frank, and you gave him to me." Her hands were fiddling with the hem of her shirt, and she made herself drop them before looking up at Betsy, going for disarmingly honest. Not to mention distracting her from the earlier statement. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Even if he was more Manuel's pet than mine lately, I feel bad for that." And for putting the babies at risk, but she couldn't go back and say so now. That'd be a weakness, and they'd pounce on it like sharks.
"Look," Betsy started, sensing the undercurrent, dark tendrils, all trying to shy away from Betsy's scrutiny. "I'm not here to lay blame or judge you for what's happened. I think it speaks more on the works of those that'd've raised and mentored you over the years." Betsy looked away from Amanda's pitiful pale face, processing the odd sensations. After a moment of silence, Betsy began speaking again. "What are you hiding? Your mind is like a veritable mindfield and it's never been so....intricate."
The girl didn't reply for a long time, but the slamming up of walls between her mind and the purple-haired telepath's was almost audible. "Doesn't the X geezer have rules about prying into people's heads without permission?"
"Right," Betsy said, somewhat amused. She stood up and slinked over to Amanda, a teasing smile forming on her lips. "If you haven't noticed, dear." Betsy started, her hand went gently to Amanda's forehead, pushing back the loose tangles of black hair in a motherly way. "I haven't been with the X-types in some time. And we both know, I'm not one for rules. It's part of the reason why Remy and I get along so well."
Betsy reared Amanda's head back and her smile grew, letting her hand fall away from Amanda's face. "So I'm asking again, what are you hiding, Amanda?"
Her skin, where Betsy's fingers had touched it, was slightly heated, reacting to the warmth of human contact. The very faintest hint of pink entered the pale skin. "And if there was something I was hiding, and if I told you, what would you do?" Amanda replied at last, _expression still remote whilst behind her eyes the barriers were thickening.
"That would depend on what you'd tell me." She answered truthfully. Despite feeling the gap between the two women growing, Betsy could still sense the slight longing gnawing its way out of her. "Whatever it is, Amanda. I do promise to help you, if I can. You know that, don't you."
Help? Amanda strongly doubted anyone could help her now, even if part of her yearned for it. "I don't need any help," she said at last. "I'm fine, just been doing some extra work with my powers, using stuff Forge and Charlie and I were doing." There was a certain bitterness to her words - those days seemed infinitely long ago, and she missed both of the friends that had been lost. "Energy transfer. 'S what happened with Remy, but it makes the magic go odd places. That's probably what you're picking up." She looked up at Betsy blandly, arms crossed protectively over her chest. "And it's not like you'll have to worry yourself about me much longer - expelled, remember? Soon as they find somewhere to dump me, I'm gone."
"Energy transfer. Could be it." Betsy replied dubiously. "Or not." The physical space between them was mere inches yet it felt like both stood at the other end of a staggering cliff. In sight, yet too far away to make a difference. "Amanda, please."
It would be so easy to tell her. To reach out and take the help offerred. But there was a part of her that knew if she did, it would only be a temporary reprieve. Betsy would be there for as long as she could be and then she'd be gone. Leaving Amanda the same as every other person she'd let in had done, except for Remy. The thought of another loss, another disappointment, another betrayal... it was too much.
She couldn't let herself be weak again.
"I'm fine," she repeated blandly. "Don't worry yourself, Bets."
"Absolute rubbish," Betsy responded. "Don't try get one over on me, dear. I, more than most, know better." She placed Amanda's hands within her own. They were surprisingly cold. Betsy began rubbing heat back into them as she spoke. "Do you really want to alienate one more person?" Betsy peered down at Amanda through her dark bangs. "I highly doubt that."
Betsy's hands were warm, and she could feel the life, the energy pulsing through them. "If I was the monster they think I am, I could suck her dry right here and now.' "And how long would you be around for? Before your own shite cropped up? I wear people out, Bets, chew them up and spit them out, and I can't handle going through it, not again. They help, I care, they leave." Amanda pulled her hands away and stepped back from the other woman. "I appreciate the concern," she said stiffly. "But there's nothing you can help with. I'm. Fine."
"Do you really wish to do that?" Betsy questioned, her hands going back to her sides, regarding Amanda with curiosity more than fear. "Suck me dry, that is."
"No, I don't. And that's the whole point." Amanda shrugged slightly. "A cure. For the addiction. I'm not a junkie any more and that's down to me. Not that it matters - it works much better for everyone to think of me as a junkie, a nutjob, that I did what I did because I wanted to hurt the doctors, not save Remy. That I'm something broken. But I'm not." Turning her back on Betsy, Amanda crossed to her desk, where a single magic book lay spread open. "I think I'd like you to leave now. Nice of you to drop by."
"Will you stop it!" Betsy snapped. There was a panicked sensation revertebrating through her. There. She'd finally found the outskirts of what was trying to hide. I can feel it. I know this..... I know this!
"Amanda." Betsy reiterated. "I'm sorry for raising my voice. But you must understand that I've been exactly where you've been. And I'm here now and I promise not to bugger off when it all goes to shite."
She waited for the girl to respond. Come on, come on, come on. Over and over, she thought. I know you're here. But where, oh where, are you hiding?
Another of those long silences. "Pete said that once," she whispered, throat momentarially tight. Her hands on the desk were shaking, and she closed them into fists, knowing that Betsy would see the movement, but not caring right now. Too long locked up alone with her thoughts had made her desperate, for contact, for understanding, for somone to help... Something cold slid through her mind briefly, just the slightest touch, and she realised the danger she was in. If Betsy found out, if any of them found out, what would they do? More than expulsion, that was for sure. Before she'd ditched her laptop she'd seen that Forge had invented something that took powers away. Maybe they'd...
"Please," she said, and the word was a plea. "Just... leave me alone. You can't help me."
And there it was. Black and billowing. Spreading from the core of Amanda's consciousness. A sharp intake of breath and Betsy took a step forward. "No," she said more forecefully than she felt. "Amanda, I'm not leaving. I know....I can feel her." She closed her eyes, controlling her breathing, and finding calm. "I've felt her."
'Oh buggery fuck.' Amanda found her feet, backing away from Betsy. The shielding spell shimmered into existence between them, cutting her off from Betsy physically and psychically. "It's not what you think... I haven't..." she stammered, before rallying her panicked reaction. "What are you going to do?" she asked. There was no point denying it.
"First," Betsy started. Her eyes shimmering like dark pools of water. Deep and mysterious. The room crackled lightly from the shift of energy and Betsy's arm tingled as the hair on her arms raised from goosebumps. "You tell me why?"
"I already did. A cure. I hurt Meg 'cause of the addiction, an' no-one was helpin' me." The accent crept back in as Amanda backed up. "I couldn't let it go on." Behind her words, her mind was racing, trying to think what to do, how to get out of this. Betsy would tell the Professor, and they'd take the magic away from her for sure. And probably lock her up for good.
"And the addiction?" Betsy questioned, somehow keeping her voice steady. The frenzied look in Amanda's eyes told her she was looking for a way out. Bide more time, she thought to herself. Get her out of that fight or flight response mode. "Is she merely making you believe you've dealt with it or is it really gone?"
"She's not making me do anythin'," Amanda replied. "The addiction's cured - I haven't needed a fix for a couple of weeks now. Even hiding out in here, I haven't felt the urge." A cynical laugh broke from her. "Selene might be a life-drainin' evil bitch, but she's been straight with me so far. And she's been about the only one who has. I'm not stupid, Betts - I don't think she's my friend or she's doin' this out of the kindness of her heart - but she's kept her word." Any kind of mind-control spell wouldn't work, she knew that, and well, she could flee right now, only... she didn't want to. Something still hoped for forgiveness, even though she knew that wouldn't be coming, not when they found out what she'd done. "So, do I get a head start or have you already told the X geezer? They coming for me, the bondage brigade?"
"I haven't called anyone." Raising an eyebrow at Amanda, Betsy spoke, her voice eerily still. Her natural instincts told her that if she called for anyone, Amanda, scratch that, Selene would've picked up on it before she'd even telepathically let out her first word. And the Black Queen was notorious for not taking action against her court lightly. "For now, let's keep this between us, shall we?" Her hands went to her hips, sizing the young one up. "Considering the makeup of the court at the moment, I'd dare to assume you're that vampiric bitch's, what, knight?"
"Not yet. Right now, the only connection I have with the Hellfire Club is dear 'Uncle" Pete." Amanda shrugged. She didn't know why Betsy hadn't called in the troops yet, but she didn't doubt that she would. "An' I might not ever be, if I don't make the grade. Deal's simple. A year of my life in exchange for her givin' me the rest back."
"Oh, god." She said, aghast. "Tell me it isn't some morbid exchange of life energy for deeds." Betsy took another step closer to Amanda, careful not to scare her into action but the overall goal was quite as deceptive. "You know, I'd bet Pete'd be mighty hurt at the fact that you joined the other side."
"'S not literal. Just means I work for her for a year." Amanda barely repressed an eyeroll. She didn't miss Betsy's manoevering and kept the shielding spell up - the fact she could do so without fatigue was a pretty good indication her limits had expanded significantly. "As for Pete... it was good enough for him, wasn't it? Joining the Club? And don't give me that shite 'bout the White and Black Courts - 's all the same aims, just different ways of going about it. Looking after number one."
"Says you," Betsy replied disbelievingly. She knew the courts because she was raised within them. Betsy knew and understood their inner workings far more than Amanda ever could. Keeping her face impassive, Betsy couldn't help but wonder, what had everyone else been up to? How could Amanda have fallen so far yet still be within the watchful eyes of the school and its inhabitants? There was some sadness behind that thought. Betsy realized that if she had remained active in Amanda's life, instead of allowing her demons to consume her, perhaps Amanda would've avoided this fucking precipice. But now, the pang in her chest told her she was all but too late to save the young witch. "That's utter crap and you know it. I've never lied to you, Amanda. Ever. Hear me when I say this. If you take this road.... If you serve the Black Queen, you'll never come back from this. Not whole. Not anywhere close to the person you are at this moment. She'll use you and the moment she finds something more enticing, she'll chuck you out the bin."
"Please," Betsy pleaded, taking one more step toward Amanda, and finding the edge of the shiedling spell. Her hands going up in the air, touching empty space yet still unable to move forward. "Consider this. Consider this before its too late."
"It's already too late. I made the deal and I'm sticking to it." It was said with an odd mixture of defiance and resignation. "I've made the choice already, Betsy, an' I've got t' deal with what comes after. I was just hoping..." For a moment the composure slipped and a frightened, desperate girl peered out before the walls slammed down again. "Doesn't matter. Nothing matters, not what I do, not what happens to me. At least Remy's not dead."
"It matters," Betsy said darkly. "To me." Her crestfallen face bowed down, covered in partly in shadow. A decision had been made. Her own. "Even if I haven't told the others just yet. I won't keep your secret for long. Not with the safety of those that live here jeopardized by the Black Queen. You have to leave and soon."
"I will. There's just one thing I have to do first." Well, two things, but the link with Manuel was their business. Private. "I need to see Remy, make sure for myself he's all right." Perhaps even find out what he thought of what she'd done, although she was a little afraid of doing that. "'S the only reason I'm still here."
"Then do it," her words were strained, harsh. The image of Manuel appeared in her mind's eye. He was in pain, psychic shock. That expression was a familiar one to the telepath. She realized grimly that the link would not hold long if Amanda sought to disconnect herself from all things. Of course, the child was holding back but pushing the matter would do no good. Manuel would survive.
Well aware that she couldn't keep Amanda if the young witch wanted to leave. And if she alerted the others...... No, Betsy would have to watch her until Amanda left. There was no other choice. "You won't let me help you. But I won't allow this situation to escalate more than it needs to. Go see, Remy. I won't tell the others, but please be quick about it." There was a pause, a moment of impulse. She raised her head slowly, grief apparent. "Take care of yourself and keep your wits about you. And if you have need of me....or help of any sort. I'll be here, merely a projection away."
There was the issue of the ban, but Amanda was working on that. "A day. Maybe two. And then I'll be out of your face," she replied stonily, nodding at the door. "Later, Betts."
"Goodbye." Nodding curtly, Betsy opened the door, took one last look at Amanda and then left. Though her last words were not spoken, but felt, heard, and reinforced with the brieftest mental caresses, all echoing the same sentiment. Stay safe.
She wasn't a teacher anymore. It wasn't her damn responsibility. Though Betsy still couldn't stop as she looked about the student landing. All the while feeling jumpy, like a caged animal about to bolt.
Frank was dead. Charlie was dead, Remy damn near died. And Amanda was hurting, she kept reminding herself. If that wasn't enough reason for her to be here, then what else would?
Standing resolutely at Amanda's door, Betsy knocked. She already knew Amanda was inside, politely announcing her presence, Betsy waited to see if the young witch would actually show her face.
The knock came as a surprise. It had been so long - days, weeks? She'd lost count - since anyone had made the attempt, beyond the trays of food Marie-Ange left outside her door and which Amanda sometimes ate, sometimes left. "Who is it?" she asked at last, voice cracking from disuse.
"Amanda, it's Betsy," she said hesitantly. The sound of the young girl's voice throwing her off slightly. "Open up, will ya?"
There was a long pause, and then there was the sound of the lock being turned. The door was inched open slowly and Amanda's pale face appeared around the edge of it. Behind her the room was dim, curtains drawn against the light. "Betsy?" Amanda asked, slightly warily. She hadn't wanted to open the door to an adult, especially one as... unpredictable as Betsy, but her countryman was Remy's colleague and friend too, so that counted for something. It also meant that she'd probably have information - turfing her laptop out with the rest of her shite was a nice dramatic gesture, but there was a definite flaw. Amanda had effectively cut herself off from the mansion, and had no idea what was going on outside her room. Including how Remy was. Betsy would at least know, although she wasn't sure if she'd tell. "Um, sorry to seem rude, but what are you doing here?" The South London accent was definitely less pronounced than it had been.
"How about genuine concern, for starters." Betsy said, as she jammed her foot in the doorway and pushed her way in. With her trenchcoat trailing after her, Betsy turned around and smiled down at Amanda. "You never seemed the hermit-sort, 'manda. Nomadic, maybe. But the boxing-yourself in a hole bit, seems slightly off."
Amanda raised her eyebrow at both the words and the action, but didn't move to make Betsy leave. Which she knew she could do. The room was dim and bare, stripped of anything that made it personalised, close with the slightly stale air of a room that's been continually occupied for an extended period. With a small shrug, she closed the door behind Betsy and replied: "I'm just making things easier. Better to lock myself in than to have Marko haul me downstairs and lock me up. Besides, it's not like anyone's really wanting to admit I'm still here." Sadness flickered in her face for an instant, but was quickly gone. Hesitating just slightly, she asked: "Have you... How's Remy?"
Giving Amanda a sidelong glance before taking in the sparse look at the room, Betsy shrugged. "He's managing as best as can be expected. A good thing is that his appetite has been somewhat voracious since he woke up. Betsy took a seat on top of the tousled bed covers. "Is that all you wanted to know? How's Remy? How about Nate, Amanda? Or Kurt.... Oh, oh, even better! How about Meggan? Did you remember her? I wonder how she's been holding up since the one person she cared for on this earth has gone up and disappeared. But you probably know already since you still pop online and connect to the journals." She paused, her finger going into the air as if struck with a profound thought. Oh, wait." Her shoulders sagged theatrically. "You can't."
"Nate made it pretty clear he wants nothing more to do with me," Amanda said, expression closing off. Yay, more guilt trips. She almost wished they'd throw her out and be done with it - at least she wouldn't have to listen to this shite any more. "Kurt knows where I am, an' Captain Fuckwad spelled it out that I'm not allowed anywhere near Meg in case I suck her dry or somesuch. She's got people to look after her." Better than I ever could, she mentally added, but left unsaid. Betsy was a telepath, let her react to the thought, or not, as she wished.
"Look," Betsy said resignedly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have walked in here like that but you didn't seem exactly ecstatic to see me either." Propping her arms behind her back, Betsy was now looking up at the tight-lipped teenager, a grimace forming on her soft features. "How about I tell you I've been worried about you before what happened and I didn't feel comfortable with what I've been sensing lately." Betsy added, slyly. "Let's say I've noticed some things these past few cycles."
Fuck. Amanda's eyes widened just a hint and she turned slightly away before she gave herself away entirely. "Can you blame me for not bein' happy to see you?" she said quietly. "People're callin' me a monster for what I did, and you're the first person I've talked to in a week. Besides, I killed Frank, and you gave him to me." Her hands were fiddling with the hem of her shirt, and she made herself drop them before looking up at Betsy, going for disarmingly honest. Not to mention distracting her from the earlier statement. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Even if he was more Manuel's pet than mine lately, I feel bad for that." And for putting the babies at risk, but she couldn't go back and say so now. That'd be a weakness, and they'd pounce on it like sharks.
"Look," Betsy started, sensing the undercurrent, dark tendrils, all trying to shy away from Betsy's scrutiny. "I'm not here to lay blame or judge you for what's happened. I think it speaks more on the works of those that'd've raised and mentored you over the years." Betsy looked away from Amanda's pitiful pale face, processing the odd sensations. After a moment of silence, Betsy began speaking again. "What are you hiding? Your mind is like a veritable mindfield and it's never been so....intricate."
The girl didn't reply for a long time, but the slamming up of walls between her mind and the purple-haired telepath's was almost audible. "Doesn't the X geezer have rules about prying into people's heads without permission?"
"Right," Betsy said, somewhat amused. She stood up and slinked over to Amanda, a teasing smile forming on her lips. "If you haven't noticed, dear." Betsy started, her hand went gently to Amanda's forehead, pushing back the loose tangles of black hair in a motherly way. "I haven't been with the X-types in some time. And we both know, I'm not one for rules. It's part of the reason why Remy and I get along so well."
Betsy reared Amanda's head back and her smile grew, letting her hand fall away from Amanda's face. "So I'm asking again, what are you hiding, Amanda?"
Her skin, where Betsy's fingers had touched it, was slightly heated, reacting to the warmth of human contact. The very faintest hint of pink entered the pale skin. "And if there was something I was hiding, and if I told you, what would you do?" Amanda replied at last, _expression still remote whilst behind her eyes the barriers were thickening.
"That would depend on what you'd tell me." She answered truthfully. Despite feeling the gap between the two women growing, Betsy could still sense the slight longing gnawing its way out of her. "Whatever it is, Amanda. I do promise to help you, if I can. You know that, don't you."
Help? Amanda strongly doubted anyone could help her now, even if part of her yearned for it. "I don't need any help," she said at last. "I'm fine, just been doing some extra work with my powers, using stuff Forge and Charlie and I were doing." There was a certain bitterness to her words - those days seemed infinitely long ago, and she missed both of the friends that had been lost. "Energy transfer. 'S what happened with Remy, but it makes the magic go odd places. That's probably what you're picking up." She looked up at Betsy blandly, arms crossed protectively over her chest. "And it's not like you'll have to worry yourself about me much longer - expelled, remember? Soon as they find somewhere to dump me, I'm gone."
"Energy transfer. Could be it." Betsy replied dubiously. "Or not." The physical space between them was mere inches yet it felt like both stood at the other end of a staggering cliff. In sight, yet too far away to make a difference. "Amanda, please."
It would be so easy to tell her. To reach out and take the help offerred. But there was a part of her that knew if she did, it would only be a temporary reprieve. Betsy would be there for as long as she could be and then she'd be gone. Leaving Amanda the same as every other person she'd let in had done, except for Remy. The thought of another loss, another disappointment, another betrayal... it was too much.
She couldn't let herself be weak again.
"I'm fine," she repeated blandly. "Don't worry yourself, Bets."
"Absolute rubbish," Betsy responded. "Don't try get one over on me, dear. I, more than most, know better." She placed Amanda's hands within her own. They were surprisingly cold. Betsy began rubbing heat back into them as she spoke. "Do you really want to alienate one more person?" Betsy peered down at Amanda through her dark bangs. "I highly doubt that."
Betsy's hands were warm, and she could feel the life, the energy pulsing through them. "If I was the monster they think I am, I could suck her dry right here and now.' "And how long would you be around for? Before your own shite cropped up? I wear people out, Bets, chew them up and spit them out, and I can't handle going through it, not again. They help, I care, they leave." Amanda pulled her hands away and stepped back from the other woman. "I appreciate the concern," she said stiffly. "But there's nothing you can help with. I'm. Fine."
"Do you really wish to do that?" Betsy questioned, her hands going back to her sides, regarding Amanda with curiosity more than fear. "Suck me dry, that is."
"No, I don't. And that's the whole point." Amanda shrugged slightly. "A cure. For the addiction. I'm not a junkie any more and that's down to me. Not that it matters - it works much better for everyone to think of me as a junkie, a nutjob, that I did what I did because I wanted to hurt the doctors, not save Remy. That I'm something broken. But I'm not." Turning her back on Betsy, Amanda crossed to her desk, where a single magic book lay spread open. "I think I'd like you to leave now. Nice of you to drop by."
"Will you stop it!" Betsy snapped. There was a panicked sensation revertebrating through her. There. She'd finally found the outskirts of what was trying to hide. I can feel it. I know this..... I know this!
"Amanda." Betsy reiterated. "I'm sorry for raising my voice. But you must understand that I've been exactly where you've been. And I'm here now and I promise not to bugger off when it all goes to shite."
She waited for the girl to respond. Come on, come on, come on. Over and over, she thought. I know you're here. But where, oh where, are you hiding?
Another of those long silences. "Pete said that once," she whispered, throat momentarially tight. Her hands on the desk were shaking, and she closed them into fists, knowing that Betsy would see the movement, but not caring right now. Too long locked up alone with her thoughts had made her desperate, for contact, for understanding, for somone to help... Something cold slid through her mind briefly, just the slightest touch, and she realised the danger she was in. If Betsy found out, if any of them found out, what would they do? More than expulsion, that was for sure. Before she'd ditched her laptop she'd seen that Forge had invented something that took powers away. Maybe they'd...
"Please," she said, and the word was a plea. "Just... leave me alone. You can't help me."
And there it was. Black and billowing. Spreading from the core of Amanda's consciousness. A sharp intake of breath and Betsy took a step forward. "No," she said more forecefully than she felt. "Amanda, I'm not leaving. I know....I can feel her." She closed her eyes, controlling her breathing, and finding calm. "I've felt her."
'Oh buggery fuck.' Amanda found her feet, backing away from Betsy. The shielding spell shimmered into existence between them, cutting her off from Betsy physically and psychically. "It's not what you think... I haven't..." she stammered, before rallying her panicked reaction. "What are you going to do?" she asked. There was no point denying it.
"First," Betsy started. Her eyes shimmering like dark pools of water. Deep and mysterious. The room crackled lightly from the shift of energy and Betsy's arm tingled as the hair on her arms raised from goosebumps. "You tell me why?"
"I already did. A cure. I hurt Meg 'cause of the addiction, an' no-one was helpin' me." The accent crept back in as Amanda backed up. "I couldn't let it go on." Behind her words, her mind was racing, trying to think what to do, how to get out of this. Betsy would tell the Professor, and they'd take the magic away from her for sure. And probably lock her up for good.
"And the addiction?" Betsy questioned, somehow keeping her voice steady. The frenzied look in Amanda's eyes told her she was looking for a way out. Bide more time, she thought to herself. Get her out of that fight or flight response mode. "Is she merely making you believe you've dealt with it or is it really gone?"
"She's not making me do anythin'," Amanda replied. "The addiction's cured - I haven't needed a fix for a couple of weeks now. Even hiding out in here, I haven't felt the urge." A cynical laugh broke from her. "Selene might be a life-drainin' evil bitch, but she's been straight with me so far. And she's been about the only one who has. I'm not stupid, Betts - I don't think she's my friend or she's doin' this out of the kindness of her heart - but she's kept her word." Any kind of mind-control spell wouldn't work, she knew that, and well, she could flee right now, only... she didn't want to. Something still hoped for forgiveness, even though she knew that wouldn't be coming, not when they found out what she'd done. "So, do I get a head start or have you already told the X geezer? They coming for me, the bondage brigade?"
"I haven't called anyone." Raising an eyebrow at Amanda, Betsy spoke, her voice eerily still. Her natural instincts told her that if she called for anyone, Amanda, scratch that, Selene would've picked up on it before she'd even telepathically let out her first word. And the Black Queen was notorious for not taking action against her court lightly. "For now, let's keep this between us, shall we?" Her hands went to her hips, sizing the young one up. "Considering the makeup of the court at the moment, I'd dare to assume you're that vampiric bitch's, what, knight?"
"Not yet. Right now, the only connection I have with the Hellfire Club is dear 'Uncle" Pete." Amanda shrugged. She didn't know why Betsy hadn't called in the troops yet, but she didn't doubt that she would. "An' I might not ever be, if I don't make the grade. Deal's simple. A year of my life in exchange for her givin' me the rest back."
"Oh, god." She said, aghast. "Tell me it isn't some morbid exchange of life energy for deeds." Betsy took another step closer to Amanda, careful not to scare her into action but the overall goal was quite as deceptive. "You know, I'd bet Pete'd be mighty hurt at the fact that you joined the other side."
"'S not literal. Just means I work for her for a year." Amanda barely repressed an eyeroll. She didn't miss Betsy's manoevering and kept the shielding spell up - the fact she could do so without fatigue was a pretty good indication her limits had expanded significantly. "As for Pete... it was good enough for him, wasn't it? Joining the Club? And don't give me that shite 'bout the White and Black Courts - 's all the same aims, just different ways of going about it. Looking after number one."
"Says you," Betsy replied disbelievingly. She knew the courts because she was raised within them. Betsy knew and understood their inner workings far more than Amanda ever could. Keeping her face impassive, Betsy couldn't help but wonder, what had everyone else been up to? How could Amanda have fallen so far yet still be within the watchful eyes of the school and its inhabitants? There was some sadness behind that thought. Betsy realized that if she had remained active in Amanda's life, instead of allowing her demons to consume her, perhaps Amanda would've avoided this fucking precipice. But now, the pang in her chest told her she was all but too late to save the young witch. "That's utter crap and you know it. I've never lied to you, Amanda. Ever. Hear me when I say this. If you take this road.... If you serve the Black Queen, you'll never come back from this. Not whole. Not anywhere close to the person you are at this moment. She'll use you and the moment she finds something more enticing, she'll chuck you out the bin."
"Please," Betsy pleaded, taking one more step toward Amanda, and finding the edge of the shiedling spell. Her hands going up in the air, touching empty space yet still unable to move forward. "Consider this. Consider this before its too late."
"It's already too late. I made the deal and I'm sticking to it." It was said with an odd mixture of defiance and resignation. "I've made the choice already, Betsy, an' I've got t' deal with what comes after. I was just hoping..." For a moment the composure slipped and a frightened, desperate girl peered out before the walls slammed down again. "Doesn't matter. Nothing matters, not what I do, not what happens to me. At least Remy's not dead."
"It matters," Betsy said darkly. "To me." Her crestfallen face bowed down, covered in partly in shadow. A decision had been made. Her own. "Even if I haven't told the others just yet. I won't keep your secret for long. Not with the safety of those that live here jeopardized by the Black Queen. You have to leave and soon."
"I will. There's just one thing I have to do first." Well, two things, but the link with Manuel was their business. Private. "I need to see Remy, make sure for myself he's all right." Perhaps even find out what he thought of what she'd done, although she was a little afraid of doing that. "'S the only reason I'm still here."
"Then do it," her words were strained, harsh. The image of Manuel appeared in her mind's eye. He was in pain, psychic shock. That expression was a familiar one to the telepath. She realized grimly that the link would not hold long if Amanda sought to disconnect herself from all things. Of course, the child was holding back but pushing the matter would do no good. Manuel would survive.
Well aware that she couldn't keep Amanda if the young witch wanted to leave. And if she alerted the others...... No, Betsy would have to watch her until Amanda left. There was no other choice. "You won't let me help you. But I won't allow this situation to escalate more than it needs to. Go see, Remy. I won't tell the others, but please be quick about it." There was a pause, a moment of impulse. She raised her head slowly, grief apparent. "Take care of yourself and keep your wits about you. And if you have need of me....or help of any sort. I'll be here, merely a projection away."
There was the issue of the ban, but Amanda was working on that. "A day. Maybe two. And then I'll be out of your face," she replied stonily, nodding at the door. "Later, Betts."
"Goodbye." Nodding curtly, Betsy opened the door, took one last look at Amanda and then left. Though her last words were not spoken, but felt, heard, and reinforced with the brieftest mental caresses, all echoing the same sentiment. Stay safe.
