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Moira goes looking for Madelyn to wish her a happy birthday and finds out the other doctor is at the end of her rope, so she shows her that there are always option.




Hmm. She shouldn't feel any different than yesterday - 29 and 364 days wasn't a hell of a lot different to 30, after all - but she did. Or rather, she felt more of what she had been feeling gradually over the past few months. Discontent. Restless. Doubting. Disconnected.

With a sigh, Madelyn pushed her chair away from her desk. She wasn't getting anything done and sitting here brooding wasn't going to achieve anything except more discontent plus a raging headache. She thought about going looking for Hank, but it was almost as if he wasn't here these days, so caught up was he with juggling his work and caring for Billy. He didn't mean to neglect their relationship, but still, she found herself frequently coming third in the scale of things. Instead, she decided to go find Moira. Bringer of bad news aside, Madelyn had always been able to talk to the older woman, perhaps because for a while there they'd been the only doctors on deck. It made for a certain sort of bonding.

Moira had, in fact, been looking for Maddie herself and she bore various presents that bore the same mark of the gifts she had given Jean, only different scents, depending on what the women preferred. They were the relaxation bubble baths and self-spas that, while not a complete escape from the stress, did help a little bit. Though this month was slightly better than the last few, the stress was getting to them all.

Last two months, they themselves had been tested physically and mentally by all the comings and goings in the MedLab. This month it was pure emotionally since most of the activity had happened outside of the Mansion.

And while she was worried for herself and Jean, she was also worried about Maddie equally, if not more. She'd been looking more worn down lately.

It was almost something out of a comedy, the way the two of them almost collided in the corridor. There was mutual 'eep'-ing and startled jumping, and Moira only just managed to keep hold of her gift burden. Madelyn steadied her with a slightly embarrassed smile. "Sorry, guess I should get that bell for around my neck, huh? All this sneaking around..."

"We're ta good at bein' quiet in these 'alls," Moira agreed, laughing as she pushed her bangs back into place. "Actually, ye were jus' th' doctor I was lookin' for. Happy birthday." Her smile widened when she handed over the gift. "Figured ye'd like th' stuff tha' I picked up."

"For me? You shouldn't have." Madelyn's expression lightened a little as she sniffed at the various bath items. "Peppermint. You remembered," she said with a smile, recalling a conversation one night on favourite scents. She snaked out her free arm to hug Moira around the shoulders. "Thank you," she said, and there was just the
slightest quiver in her voice.

"O' course I remembered." Moira tilted her head at the sound of her voice and decided she was right when she went to find Maddie. "Ye alright?" she continued, gently leading them towards the break room. Jean was with Scott and Hank probably with Billy and the volunteers rarely used it so she knew they'd be alone.

Madelyn let herself be led, which was an indication in and of itself that things were amiss. Sinking into one of the comfy chairs, she let out a frustrated sigh. "It's nothing, really. Or it should be nothing, only I'm not..." She waved her hand vaguely. "Content, I suppose? So there's obviously something. Only I can't pin it down." Realizing she probably hadn't made the least bit of sense to Moira, she gave her an apologetic half-smile. "Um, no? Maybe?"

Looking concerned, Moira pulled up one of the other chairs and settled herself. "Burn out?" she asked. "Or is this somethin' a little...deeper than tha'?"

After all, Maddie really hadn't been able to get away like Jean or she had and it had to be frustrating.

"Possibly. I don't think so, though." Madelyn sighed again, annoyed at herself. "I'm just... not happy with things, Moira. The school, my work...None of it's really fulfilling me any more, and I don't know why. Everything I do, it seems there's someone who's more than capable ofdoing the same thing. Hell, I came back from Seattle early because I wasn't really more than a fifth wheel with Scott and the initial crisis was over."

Moira smiled at her gently. "I dinnae think yer a fifth wheel around 'ere, God knows ye've done more than pull yer weight. But I also know how it 'tis ta feel tha' way." She laughed at the look Madelyn gave her. "Wha'? I do, really, especially durin' th' Haroun thin' when there was only so much I do from th' outside. 'ave ye been feelin' this way for a while?"

"I tihnk I insisted on being one of the ones to treat Haroun whilst he was contagious just because it was something I could do," Madelyn admitted wryly. "I don't do helpless well - you saw me last year when Alison was hurt." Picking idly at the ribbon wrapped around the handle of the basket of goodies Moira had given here, she continued, reflectively. "It's been building, for a while. I can't really explain it. It got worse after Jean came back, though," she admitted, ashamedly. "Don't get me wrong, I love Jean, but...you have to admit, with her here, there's not a lot of call for me beyond emergencies, and we're starting to have those dealt with outside just for sanity's sake."

Moira grimaced at that. As much as she didn't want to--there was something about letting 'your' patients go to someone else--it was becoming more than necessary to do so, even if it was just for their sanity sakes. "Wha' do ye want to do? Ye think this feelin' will go away if ye take some leave?" An idea was starting to form in the back of her mind but she didn't want to rush into things until she had heard Madelyn's take on it.

"I don't know. I thought about calling Fred, asking him to take me on a more permanent basis, only after all this stuff with Tommy, the kids, the FOH..." Madelyn bit her lip. "Sean had a point. We're our own law here and I understand the reasons for it - hell, I pointed out just why Tommy can't be charged. But I'm losing faith in that whole justice thing. Maybe I should just decide once and for all what I am - doctor or cop."

Reaching over, Moira squeezed her hand. "Feelin' torn in ta many directions, are ye?" she asked, sympathizing. She had her own difficulties with Muir and the Mansion. "I know yer confused right now but let me give ye another option if ye decide this place may nay be for ye right now. Th' Foundation is doin' well but it really could do wit' a guidin' 'and from one o' tis founders. I've already got Muir on th' backburner, I doubt I could pull off splittin' my time massively between all three. But does it sound like somethin' ye would want ta do?"

"What would it entail?" Madelyn asked, cautiously but not in a nasty way. She didn't want to jump into something - another something - she wasn't cut out for. "If it's research..." She didn't have to finish that; it had become blindingly obvious that research wasn't Madelyn's strong point, at least not when you shared labs with Moira MacTaggart and Henry McCoy.

Moira took the opportunity to poke her, once, in the ribs. "Nay, no research unless ye want there ta be. Basically? Ye'd be runnin' things. We need someone there--I dinnae like th' person we chose as th' CEO but I think tha's 'tis because he's new—ta oversee an' actually work wit' it. Yer role...I think it can be whatever ye want it ta be."

Batting at the poking hand, Madelyn grinned. "Hey, no fair sneak attacks!" Then she sobered, mulling it over. Autonomy, a role she could define as she saw fit, doing something to change things at ground level instead of endless crisis management... "I think I like the sound of this... wait, we're talking about the Edinburgh office, aren't we?"

"Aye, we're ta small, really, ta branch out jus' yet." Moira gave her a small smile. "This is if ye decide if yer nay 'appy here an' dinnae want ta go back ta th' FBI. Besides, 'tis completely selfish o' me. I know th' Foundation's in good 'ands an' I work well wit' ye when I am there an' 'tis close enough ta Muir for visits."

"I've never really thought about living overseas before..." Madelyn's look grew a little faraway as she contemplated that. She'd loved Muir, and not only because it was where she and Hank had started getting close. Hank. "I'd have to talk to Hank, see what he thinks of the idea," she said slowly. "But I have to admit, it is tempting. A fresh start at something. And it's something that's important." She grinned a little. "Besides, it's got half my name on it - it's
probably about time I did something concrete towards it besides that endless paper shuffling."

"Edinburgh, while nay Muir, is a fantastic place ta live an' work. It's jus nay Muir." She winked and grinned. "An' aye, I can 'andle th' paperwork an' th' go between 'ere but I think ye'd do wonderful over there. As much as I 'ate ta see ye go. But if yer nay 'appy, then ye need ta be someplace tha' ye will be."

"I'm not," she admitted. "It's been building for a while now, but... I'm not." Impulsively she reached over and gave Moira a hug. "Thank you. Here I was fretting myself silly and now it feels like I've got options again."