No Way Out//Tommy, Manuel

[x-traitor.livejournal.com]

Traitor meets Empath who gives him a 'gift'. But gifts are judged in the eyes of the beholder.



Tommy scanned the shelves, two books already under his arm. Now that he had to lvie upstairs, he planned to only come on out of his room when required. So he might as well take advantage of this places' vast library. Even he had to admit, there were worth places to be practically held prisoner. Deciding he was happy with the two selections under his arm, he headed turned and headed slowly for the door.

Manuel happened to be passing the library when he got a good inadvertent look inside Tommy's brain. Shrugging, he waited in the hallway for the boy to emerge. Might as well see what the new kid was like - all he'd heard were rumors and innuendo. He'd supposedly been Terry's abortive boyfriend, and been involved in the torching of the CoffeeQuake and other such nonsense.

Tommy walked out the door and nearly started when he found a guy he'd never seen before, standing in the hallway and staring at him as if he was expecting him. He raised an annoyed eyebrow. "Can I help you?"

"No." he said, narrowing his eyes to get a good empathic look at the other man. He smiled thinly at what he felt - fear. Massive, massive fear coated with a layer of bravado and a notion of entitlement. The perfect plaything for Empath. "You can't help anyone, least of all yourself."

Tommy annoyance now showed on his face as he gave the other an odd look. "Riiiight. Whatever." With a roll of his eyes, he moved to step around Manuel so he could continue on his way.

Manuel smoothly sidestepped to block the other kid's way. "You don't know who I am, do you?" he said with a wicked smile. His eyes were obscured by his sunglasses, revealing nothing of his intentions. "Poor little bigot boy, so afraid of who and what he is." he said sadly. "A mutie."

Flinching, he stepped back to assess the situation. Obviously, this guy had an agenda and Tommy didn't really want any confrontations with any of the students, not while he was still so weak. "Look, I don't know how you are or what you want, but I just want to get by. Now if I could please just get by?" He was trying so hard to be polite and ignore what the other was saying.

Manuel stepped up close, almost within kissing range. "You know what your problem is? A lack of perspective." he said, and then used his power on Tommy, banishing the fear and the self-loathing. "You should be grateful - most people have to work for _years_ to get a handle on problems as deep-seated as yours. But I am in a generous mood, so enjoy your enlightenment. It won't last." he said with a bright smile.

Tommy gasped sharply, his face contorting as all of his fear and self-loathing...it was just gone. But that's not what scared him the most. It was the fact that even under all his 'happy' feelings...he felt so empty. "What...what did you do to me?"

Manuel took a step back and leaned against the wall. "I've given you enlightenment. I was finding all that fear and self-loathing to be _tedious_, so I banished them." he said. "I'm Empath."

His breath was coming in gasps and he didn't realize feeling so good would cause one to panic. It was like, all the intensity of the past few days had just melted away and part of him actually wanted to be here..and he couldn't hate himself for thinking that way thought he knew he should. Finally he was able too look up at other, up since he was practically bent double in the hallway, one hand leaning on the wall. "What the fuck did you do!?"

Manuel sighed. "No, you don't get to have that particular out." he said, wiping away the panic. "I'll bet you don't like all that nothing inside. This is your wake-up call, _pal_. You've built your life on hate and fear, and once they're gone what do you have left?" he asked. "Think about it before you answer."

Letting himself sink to the floor, Tommy curled up on himself, bringing his knees to his chest and leaning his forearms against his thighs so he could then cradle his head. He tried to search out a feeling, *anything* but there was just nothing.

Manuel bent down to continue his conversation. "There's just not much there, is there? You like to read, but other than that you've wrapped your entire life around hate." he said conversationally. "Is that any way to live your life? I mean, any ol' empath could come along and do this to you, and then where would you be?"

He may be devoid of emotion but he did still have his opinions...even if they felt void. "It's mutants like you that only prove people like me right. I don't need to feel like this to realize your a monster." He managed to get out softly, though Tommy didn't move from his position.

Manuel laughed. "Oh, you poor deluded little boy." he said, still crouched next to him and carrying on their conversation. "Don't lash out at me just because you cannot tolerate what you are." he said. "You have three choices. You could choose to kill yourself, of course, but I don't think you have the courage to take the easy road. You could continue to deny what you are, of course, but I think we all know where that leads. One of your charming friends will invariably find out what _you_ are, and end your life violently. Just like what you want to do to me. Or you could _accept_ what you are and find a way to deal with it." he said.

Tommy again visibly flinched at the last, memories of Duncan's words from a few days before ringing in his empty head. As it was ticked off that way...did he really have choice? How could he reform this nothing...into something? Was it even possible?

"There's a bald man in a wheelchair who is the spiritual father to this entire school." he said as Tommy's emotions went kaleidoscopic on him. "If you let him, he will help you to discover who and what you are underneath all of your hate." he noted. "I cannot and will not take your hate from you permanently." he said with just a hint of sadness. "You must do it for yourself. Do you have the strength inside of you to make that nothing into something?" he asked, unconsciously echoing Tommy's own internal dialog. "When you stare into the face of all that nothing inside, do you have what it takes to put something there, to build it up from nothing?"

But was there anything underneath for Xavier to find? Was there anything to build up from? Or had hate and self-loathing destroyed those foundations before they had even begun? Tommy bit his lower lip and one hand crept down to his pocket, where the lead twig permanently resided. Normally, he never would have looked this far into himself but with everything stripped away, it was impossible not too. And even as tried to think through it...Tommy just felt numb insides. Completely and utterly numb. It was both the worst and the best feeling he'd ever felt.

Manuel reached over and pulled Tommy to his feet. "Better to die on your feet than live on your knees." he quoted with a laugh. "I've given you the clarity you need to think about what it is you need to do. Remember this - my favors never come for free, and you owe me." he said with a small laugh. "Use your time wisely - I estimate you have maybe a half-hour of clarity before the hate and the fear come back."

Tommy's eyes were as blank as he felt inside as he nodded numbly, not really hearing what Manuel was saying.

"May I make a suggestion?" he asked pleasantly.

Tommy just lifted his eyes in the direction of the voice talking to him.

Manuel chose to interpret that as agreement. "Write it down while your thinking is clear. Just get it into a tangible form."

The only response he got was a small, blank nod and a quiet "okay."

Manuel smiled. "Excellent. Good day, Thomas the Doubter." he said before walking past him and down the hallway.

With a deep breath and still leaning on the wall, Tommy slowly made his way back to his room. He was thankful later that night that he didn't have a roommate when he cried himself to sleep.