Nathan and Alison, Monday evening
Dec. 19th, 2005 06:28 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsA training session takes a startling turn when Alison, entirely unknowing, does something that finally shatters Nathan's reserve on one particularly sore subject.
The Danger Room was running full out. Nathan had once thought he'd dislike this sort of program for the rest of his life as an X-Man, given his experience with something very similar while the COs had been trying to hammer in a certain point last January. But oddly, it appealed to him at the moment. Mostly because of the utter focus it took to avoid fire from the gun turrets and navigate the shifting landscape at the same time.
For her part, Alison was taking a vicarious pleasure in 1) the lack of cane and 2) the lack of being out of breath. The rest was just reflex and reaction, far moreso than just thinking, allowing instinct to keep her out of the way of the soundtrail of bullets heading their way. Keeping her footing had been easily done thus far, if not always with perfect grace, but Alison had learned that in these particular sessions, her preference for dance like moves wasn't always to be favored. Sometimes, scrambling madly about was the best way to make the session last that much longer, really. A low level laser was aimed quickly to the right - not enough to literally destroy anything, but enough for the danger room's program to at least consider one gun turret as no longer active.
Nathan's only complaint was that he wasn't running this solo, and thus had to keep one eye on Alison at all times. He made a mental note to have a little talk with the part of him that was getting impatient at the need for teamwork; that was a bad tendency he probably wanted to nip in the bud. A column erupted horizontally from the wall just in front of him, and Nathan flung himself upwards into the air, a neat flip taking him over and down to solid ground on the other side.
It had been a while since she'd done so, but fire and having to walk through it meant only one thing - Alison shielded, easily charged up already by the start of the exercse and the sounds of gunfire around them, and just charged through the flames, eyes open and unblinking through the brightness of the fire and her shield, in case something unpleasant awaited them on the other side.
And Nathan froze as he saw, out of the corner of his eye, a firebird emerge from the fire. Alison was at the heart of the shape, her feet very decidedly on the ground, but there were wings, the distinctive shape of the bird's head...
"Computer, STOP PROGRAM!" The shout was his, hoarse and ragged, and Nathan flung his psimitar down on the ground and stalked past Alison and out of the Danger Room, his heart thundering in his ears.
The fire winked out from behind her at Nathan's shout and Alison dismissed her shield, which had felt slightly off... balance somehow, anyway. "What?" She stared after Nathan as he stalked out, utterly confused, though she didn't wait for long before following, wondering what in the world was going on. "Nathan, what's," she had to speed up then, to keep up with him, "what's going on?"
"Don't you even talk to me!" he flung at her over his shoulder, and kept heading for the locker room. But she was still following, still trying to catch up with him, and Nathan half-turned to glare at her in anguish and accusation both. "Why? Why would you do that?"
The anger was palpable, along with everything else or so it seemed, and Alison stoped dead in her tracks as he looked at her. "Nathan," she said, carefully and as calmly as possible, "I have no idea what you are talking about." A small, half step closer was taken, though she was deliberate in not invading his personal space. "What's going on?"
"I don't care if it's trying to honor her, I don't want you doing it!" It would have been a more effective declaration if it hadn't been broken in the middle by a barely suppressed sob. But the words kept flooding out, and he turned fully to face her, hands in white-knuckled fists at his side. "That was the shape she took in my mind, so that I always knew she was there... it's NOT YOURS!"
The sight was unsettling to say the least, enough for Alison to step closer and raise her voice, the unconcious reaction of someone trying to desperately make themselves be heard. "Nathan, dammit, listen to me. I don't know what you're talking about!" She stared back at him, pale faced and shaken. "I don't have the slightest clue what you mean," she added, in softer tones this time, slightly pleading. "Please, what... what are you saying I did?"
"If you're going to shield, just SHIELD!" He couldn't keep his voice down. And his eyes were watering... right, watering, and he wanted away from her, out of this conversation, but she was sitting there giving him that rattled, appealing look. "A firebird... you shielded in the shape of a firebird!"
Alison stared at him, feeling as though someone had punched her in the stomach. "What?" The word escaped her in a stunned whisper, and she could feel the blood drain from her face as the look in his eyes told her exactly how serious he was and how much it had affected him. "I..."
She hadn't known. There was something of Askani left in her, somehow, and she hadn't even known. Nathan put his hands to his temples, trying to breathe deeply, but it caught in his chest, as if something was trying to crush the breath out of him. Control. He had to stay in control.
"I would rather you didn't do that." It came out almost in a croak. "Even if you didn't mean to do it in the first place, I think you need to put some conscious effort into not doing it again because I can't, I can't pretend when you're walking around looking like her. I can't, and I have to..."
"I didn't..." She hadn't meant to, she wanted to say. Had no clue it had happened, hadn't even felt it, if she was supposed to at least. And she found herself taking another small step back, suddenly wondering if this meant that the whispers she thought she'd been hearing now and then were something other than her imagination, or if the odd dreams that were forgotten as soon as she woke up were maybe something else entirely. "I'm sorry," she stammered, shaking her head. "I had no idea. I didn't know!"
Nathan looked at her, really looked, letting his perceptions slide down below the visible level, so that he could see her as a pattern of psionic energy, see if...
Nothing. Just fading echoes, residual flickers. Relics. Nothing but disintegrating traces of the elegant pattern that had been Askani. Nathan took a step backwards, his breath coming in ragged gasps despite his attempt to keep his breathing steady.
He didn't know whether he was relieved or disappointed. Relieved? How could he have been relieved, how selfish was that... "Just... never mind," he choked out, turning away. His eyes were blurring, stinging, and he needed to get out of here. Somewhere he could be alone. "I'm... I'm sorry."
Frozen in place, Alison watched him stumble away, staring at the door he closed behind him for far too long before the realization that she had to do something other than just stand there and stare finally hit in.
Tapping her comm, she took a deep breath, waiting for the mansion's system to route her through - a well known voice answered her and she spoke, hesitantly at first and then with more speed, until her words were tumbling out at the end. "...and I think you really should go find him and talk to him now, Charles. And... I'd like to talk to you after that, myself." She took a deep breath, and wiped at her eyes with the palm of her hand. "After. Please."
The Danger Room was running full out. Nathan had once thought he'd dislike this sort of program for the rest of his life as an X-Man, given his experience with something very similar while the COs had been trying to hammer in a certain point last January. But oddly, it appealed to him at the moment. Mostly because of the utter focus it took to avoid fire from the gun turrets and navigate the shifting landscape at the same time.
For her part, Alison was taking a vicarious pleasure in 1) the lack of cane and 2) the lack of being out of breath. The rest was just reflex and reaction, far moreso than just thinking, allowing instinct to keep her out of the way of the soundtrail of bullets heading their way. Keeping her footing had been easily done thus far, if not always with perfect grace, but Alison had learned that in these particular sessions, her preference for dance like moves wasn't always to be favored. Sometimes, scrambling madly about was the best way to make the session last that much longer, really. A low level laser was aimed quickly to the right - not enough to literally destroy anything, but enough for the danger room's program to at least consider one gun turret as no longer active.
Nathan's only complaint was that he wasn't running this solo, and thus had to keep one eye on Alison at all times. He made a mental note to have a little talk with the part of him that was getting impatient at the need for teamwork; that was a bad tendency he probably wanted to nip in the bud. A column erupted horizontally from the wall just in front of him, and Nathan flung himself upwards into the air, a neat flip taking him over and down to solid ground on the other side.
It had been a while since she'd done so, but fire and having to walk through it meant only one thing - Alison shielded, easily charged up already by the start of the exercse and the sounds of gunfire around them, and just charged through the flames, eyes open and unblinking through the brightness of the fire and her shield, in case something unpleasant awaited them on the other side.
And Nathan froze as he saw, out of the corner of his eye, a firebird emerge from the fire. Alison was at the heart of the shape, her feet very decidedly on the ground, but there were wings, the distinctive shape of the bird's head...
"Computer, STOP PROGRAM!" The shout was his, hoarse and ragged, and Nathan flung his psimitar down on the ground and stalked past Alison and out of the Danger Room, his heart thundering in his ears.
The fire winked out from behind her at Nathan's shout and Alison dismissed her shield, which had felt slightly off... balance somehow, anyway. "What?" She stared after Nathan as he stalked out, utterly confused, though she didn't wait for long before following, wondering what in the world was going on. "Nathan, what's," she had to speed up then, to keep up with him, "what's going on?"
"Don't you even talk to me!" he flung at her over his shoulder, and kept heading for the locker room. But she was still following, still trying to catch up with him, and Nathan half-turned to glare at her in anguish and accusation both. "Why? Why would you do that?"
The anger was palpable, along with everything else or so it seemed, and Alison stoped dead in her tracks as he looked at her. "Nathan," she said, carefully and as calmly as possible, "I have no idea what you are talking about." A small, half step closer was taken, though she was deliberate in not invading his personal space. "What's going on?"
"I don't care if it's trying to honor her, I don't want you doing it!" It would have been a more effective declaration if it hadn't been broken in the middle by a barely suppressed sob. But the words kept flooding out, and he turned fully to face her, hands in white-knuckled fists at his side. "That was the shape she took in my mind, so that I always knew she was there... it's NOT YOURS!"
The sight was unsettling to say the least, enough for Alison to step closer and raise her voice, the unconcious reaction of someone trying to desperately make themselves be heard. "Nathan, dammit, listen to me. I don't know what you're talking about!" She stared back at him, pale faced and shaken. "I don't have the slightest clue what you mean," she added, in softer tones this time, slightly pleading. "Please, what... what are you saying I did?"
"If you're going to shield, just SHIELD!" He couldn't keep his voice down. And his eyes were watering... right, watering, and he wanted away from her, out of this conversation, but she was sitting there giving him that rattled, appealing look. "A firebird... you shielded in the shape of a firebird!"
Alison stared at him, feeling as though someone had punched her in the stomach. "What?" The word escaped her in a stunned whisper, and she could feel the blood drain from her face as the look in his eyes told her exactly how serious he was and how much it had affected him. "I..."
She hadn't known. There was something of Askani left in her, somehow, and she hadn't even known. Nathan put his hands to his temples, trying to breathe deeply, but it caught in his chest, as if something was trying to crush the breath out of him. Control. He had to stay in control.
"I would rather you didn't do that." It came out almost in a croak. "Even if you didn't mean to do it in the first place, I think you need to put some conscious effort into not doing it again because I can't, I can't pretend when you're walking around looking like her. I can't, and I have to..."
"I didn't..." She hadn't meant to, she wanted to say. Had no clue it had happened, hadn't even felt it, if she was supposed to at least. And she found herself taking another small step back, suddenly wondering if this meant that the whispers she thought she'd been hearing now and then were something other than her imagination, or if the odd dreams that were forgotten as soon as she woke up were maybe something else entirely. "I'm sorry," she stammered, shaking her head. "I had no idea. I didn't know!"
Nathan looked at her, really looked, letting his perceptions slide down below the visible level, so that he could see her as a pattern of psionic energy, see if...
Nothing. Just fading echoes, residual flickers. Relics. Nothing but disintegrating traces of the elegant pattern that had been Askani. Nathan took a step backwards, his breath coming in ragged gasps despite his attempt to keep his breathing steady.
He didn't know whether he was relieved or disappointed. Relieved? How could he have been relieved, how selfish was that... "Just... never mind," he choked out, turning away. His eyes were blurring, stinging, and he needed to get out of here. Somewhere he could be alone. "I'm... I'm sorry."
Frozen in place, Alison watched him stumble away, staring at the door he closed behind him for far too long before the realization that she had to do something other than just stand there and stare finally hit in.
Tapping her comm, she took a deep breath, waiting for the mansion's system to route her through - a well known voice answered her and she spoke, hesitantly at first and then with more speed, until her words were tumbling out at the end. "...and I think you really should go find him and talk to him now, Charles. And... I'd like to talk to you after that, myself." She took a deep breath, and wiped at her eyes with the palm of her hand. "After. Please."
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