xp_logs | Fear Itself: Dani and Manuel

OOC: Backdated to Dec 7 because we were bad and forgot to post it.

Manuel runs into Dani late at night in an effort to avoid poeple. This works well since Dani is also avoiding people. They talk about recent events and Manuel's moving out. Dani manages to not go crazy but only barely.

'Coping' was something other people did, Dani reflected as she made herself a sandwich in the kitchen while taking a break from paperwork. Or perhaps 'coping' was what people did when they were working with a full deck and not half out of their skull. Either way, Dani was pretty sure that she wasn't. Half singing half muttering a chant to herself thanking the Creator for her food, she went to sit down at the table to eat.

Manuel, his eyes glowing red to divert any attention, slipped into the kitchen to get something to eat before fleeing the Mansion entirely. He felt Danielle before he saw her, and with a weary sigh he let his social invisibility weave drop. He was so tired, and so sick inside that he felt nauseous, but he still needed to eat something.

By now, Dani was somewhat used to people suddenly appearing, even if she had started to double check to make sure they were real people. Manuel was fortunantly very real and unfortunantly brought with him some very rea lproblems. Silently, she slid the sandwich towards him and got up to make herself another one. That was one good thing about Xavier's, she reflected. They always had enough food for everyone.

Manuel smiled thinly at Danielle, a ghost of an expression, and took a bite out of the sandwich. It tasted like ash in his mouth, but he forced himself to chew and swallow it. He then took a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water before drinking from it. Bite, chew, swallow. Drink, swallow.

"So that's it?" she asked, pausing in the middle of spreading a layer of cranberry sauce on the bread. She said it as if he had tried to give her something woefully inadequate.

Manuel sighed again, and put his half-eaten sandwich down. "I'm tired, Danielle. Tired, and scared out of my mind. The man who _killed my father_ is back. He lives just over there." he said, pointing over his head and to the right. "And he's not the only one. I ... I can't keep doing this. I just can't. I can't live with the fear, with that hole inside of me. I'm trying to fill it up, but it all just bleeds out with every heartbeat."

That was overly dramatic and perfectly Manuel. "I ain't saying you shouldn't leave," even if she wanted to say it, "or that you don't got a reason. But where you gonna go? Wandering the country in the winter ain't the smartest thing to do. You'll end up dead, or worse, back here."

He smiled thinly at that and forced himself to take another bite of food and swallow it. "Xavier will help me geet my feet underneath me. Once I find a job, I can pay his generousity back." he explained. "It will be hard, but I will do it. At least out there I can breathe." he said with the hint of a sob.

"You gonna go so far that I can't visit sometime? I won't get on a plane for just anyone you know," Dani was trying to keep the mood light, but her voice broke anyways and she choked back tears. She didn't want him to go.

Manuel could feel that aching sadness in her, and it almost broke him all over again. "I won't go that far. Just to New York. I need to forget her, Danielle." he said, not even trying to fight the tears this time. "I can't let go of her, not here where everything reminds me of her."

"Shhh," Danielle abandonded her sandwich to hold him tightly and let him cry a little, "Don't worry. You gotta do what's right for you and make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy."

Manuel was normally a prideful man, conscious of appearances and the proprieties. All of that was forgotten for a moment as he wept his heart's pain at Danielle for a time. Sniffling, he pulled himself back under control and blew his nose messily with a paper towel. "I have to go, Danielle. Come visit me?" he asked her.

"You ain't gotta ask," she smiled at him with red-rimmed eyes, "I'll show up whether you want me to or not."

Manuel let out a very faint grin at that. "I think I can tolerate that." he said with a ragged laugh. "How are you holding up?"

"I ain't put a q-tip through my brain yet," Dani replied, shaking her head, "It ain't, that is....I'm trying. I see everyone's fears if I get too close. Been anti-social."

"I can't blame you." he said honestly, then took another bite of his sandwich. "I ... there's not much for me here." he admitted. "And I gruaduate in under two weeks."

"Happy graduation then. And Merry Christmas...I ain't got your gift yet. Couldn't figure out what you wanted. Maybe you need pots and pans now," it was meant to be a joke, but the words came out flat. There wasn't much to joke about and Danielle wasn't entirely sure why she was trying so hard.

Maybe it was a line, maybe it was real, but Dani smiled and hugged Manuel tighter, "I'm gonna miss you. Even if I come visit when I can. And you can could come here to visit if you wanted. Ain't going no place."

Manuel smiled at Danielle and returned her hug as best he could. "I don't know about that, but you'll be welcome in my home if you came to visit." he said.

"Finish your sandwich," Danielle instructed, taking a bite of hers, "And accept that I don't want you to go even if it's a good idea."

Manuel did as instructed. "I can understand that." he said as he took another bite of his sandwich, then washed it down with water. "But I have to go - I want you to understand that. I can't stay here - not with my father's murderers."

"I understand, don't mean I like it," Dani stood, taking her sandwich with her, "I should get my work done. It's quiet now."

Manuel took a deep drink of his water. "Maybe so." he said. "I should go as well. Place still doesn't feel right to me."