Logs: Bobby and Terry, Bobby and Marius

[x-coldhands.livejournal.com]

Monday afternoon, Terry finds Bobby to tell him the results of Jean's blood test. And to ask him for some time. He doesn't take it as well as one would hope. Or maybe he takes it too well.


It turned out that no matter how much she tried she couldn't concentrate on her homework anymore. After an hour or so, she gave up on pretending that she was working on schoolwork and packed her books up. The twisted knot of her stomach wasn't helping matters any but she lifted her chin resolutely to go tell Bobby the good news. At least one person could be perfectly happy about all this.

Bobby shut his door and headed for the gym, wanting to stretch and move a bit after spending the afternoon filing papers. Or maybe he just wanted an excuse to hit things.

Terry had expected to find him in Nathan's office. That was fast becoming the best place to find him, thanks to the mountain of work that was to be done. She was still rehearsing her speech to herself, watching her feet more than anything while she walked when she stopped dead, hearing the particular combination of sounds--the jangle of keys, the tick of his jacket zipper against his belt, the long, impatient stride--that said Bobby to her. She stepped back just as he rounded the corner so they didn't collide.

He almost didn't see her--it was her hair that drew him up short, made him turn. "Hey," he said, softly, as if speaking too loud might hurt her or the baby. "How are you?"

She took a deep breath and looked up at him, ready to make her speech and finding that she couldn't manage more than three words. "I'm not pregnant."

"You're--what?" Bobby stared at her, uncomprehending for a minute. "...You're not?"

That didn't look like the unadulterated joy she'd been expecting. Terry shook her head mutely and sighed. "Jean did a blood test."

"...Oh." For some reason, the news made something hurt in Bobby's chest. "Well. That's...good." He reached for her, awkwardly sliding an arm around her shoulders. "Right?"

"Aye...aye, of course it is." She moved a little stiffly, though she allowed him to draw her closer. "If I'd not been such a fool, I'd have known this days ago and we'd not have to have gone through this." She felt like she was apologising to a stranger and that scared her.

Bobby shrugged, squeezing her shoulder. "It's okay. We know now." And knowing hurt, for some reason.

Terry nodded then eased back so she could look up at him. "Do you have a minute? I need to talk to you." She bit her lower lip, because, well, they were talking. "I mean, can we sit down for a minute?"

"Uh..." Bobby looked around for somewhere to sit. "Did you have somewhere in mind?"

No, not when she'd expected to find him in the office. "Oh...um, Maybe..." Schedules and floor plans were quickly scanned in her head, "the east study should be empty around now."

"Okay." He rubbed her arm encouragingly. "Let's go there, then."

She took his hand but they walked in silence, Terry painfully aware of walking with him not too long ago by the lake for another conversation. She dropped his hand to open the door though it wasn't strictly necessary and gestured him in before her.

Bobby entered and stood looking awkwardly back at her. A nervous fear started gnawing at his stomach--what could she want to talk about? What if the blood test had shown something else?

Terry chewed on her lower lip and closed the door behind them, not wanting any interruptions. This would be hard enough as it was. "Do you want to sit down?" she asked quietly.

Bobby shook his head. If bad news was coming, he wanted to be standing. "What's up?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light.

Terry sighed and leaned back against the door, hands behind her, still wrapped around the handle. "We...you...I don't..." She stopped, took a deep breath and started again. For this at least she could stick to her speech. "I've been thinking about things. Since Tuesday and since the test. And I think that maybe we rushed into things. We shouldn't have been sleeping together. We're not ready for the consequences or anything. And...I think I need some time. To figure things out."

"...Oh." He was saying that a lot, today. "Sure, okay," he mumbled, as the pain in his stomach expanded upwards. Maybe he should visit the medlab.

Numb acceptance wasn't the worst she'd expected but it wasn't good either. She pressed on with her explanation, "This is all too much. Everything that's happened...I don't know how to cope with it. It's not you. I swear it's not."

"No, sure. I get it." Bobby took a step back, looking anywhere but at her.

She didn't believe him but nodded anyway. He would see what she meant soon enough. "I'm sorry, Bobby. I know this isn't fair. Things are just so complicated right now."

"Yeah." Bobby took a deep breath and wondered how he was supposed to escape with her in front of the door. "So I guess...let me know when you've had enough time, or whatever." His throat worked as he swallowed a few times, staring at the wall fixedly.

This felt all wrong. Like kicking a puppy. "What about you? What do you think about all this?" She needed him to talk to her but he wasn't.

He may not have been talking, but at that, he snorted, at least. "What do I think? I'm not even--what am I supposed to think?" He sighed and shook his head. "If you need some space...whatever." He shrugged and paced a few steps.

"You understand though, right? You're okay with this?" Behind her back, Terry's hands twisted at the doorknob, fretting away.

"What choice do I have?" Bobby muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets and halting, only to fix an intent gaze on his shoes.

"You could talk to me," Terry suggested quietly, her shoulders sagging. She was tired and could feel a headache building behind her eyes. Maybe she should just leave it for now and talk to him about this tomorrow.

"Look, I just...I want whatever you want, okay?" He dared a look at her and wished he hadn't. All he wanted to do was cross the room and pull her into a hug. But she'd made it clear that she didn't want that. Not from him, not right now.

She looked miserable and tired and worn out though not half as much as she felt. With a long, shuddering sigh, she nodded again, unwilling to argue. "Aye, sure. I trust you to tell me the truth." She turned the knob and stepped forward, pulling the door open. "I should let you go. You were on your way somewhere."

"Yeah." Bobby ducked his head and hurried past her without another word, disappearing down the hall, needing some alone time in the gym more than ever, now. He felt completely gutted.

Terry let the door go and sank to the floor where she stood, resting her head on her knees and trying very hard not to think and harder still not to cry.

Wednesday night, after Bobby's spent two full days actively avoiding her, Terry confronts him. She tries to explain and he completely fails to understand, and things get angsty. Whee, teenage drama.


She noticed it on Tuesday but thought it was a figment of her imagination, just her being oversensitive. On Wednesday, when Bobby actively ducked out of the room when she entered, she was sure of it. Bobby was definitely avoiding her. After the near miss early in the day, he made himself scarce and the mansion was actually settling down into a quiet night when she finally tracked him down. "Is something wrong?" she asked from the doorway in the kitchen, having approached quietly enough that he hadn't had a chance to run.

Bobby glanced over from the toaster, eyes wide. "Oh...no. I'm just making some toast. I'll be out of your way in just a minute. Hurry up, stupid toaster. He crossed to get a butter knife and the butter, to make his retreat that much quicker. He could go without jam.

Terry leaned against the doorjamb, folding her arms. "I was looking for you. So getting out of my way would be exactly what I'm not looking to have you do." Out of habit, her eyes drifted from his face, down over his shoulders, and the line of his back under his thin t-shirt. From the shirt to his boxers and the muscles of his legs... Terry jerked her eyes back to his face when she realized what she was doing. "Ah...that is, I wanted to know why you were avoiding me."

Bobby frowned, turning to her. "You wanted me to."

"I did nothing of the sort!" Terry protested, genuinely shocked. "How can you even say that?"

"You wanted a break, right? Some space. Well, I'm giving it to you." He shrugged and padded barefoot to the fridge. If she wanted to talk, he'd at least get that jam after all.

"Aye, time to think. I didn't mean that you should avoid me like I'd gotten the plague!" His callousness in shrugging it off was almost more upsetting than the fact that he believed it in the first place.

Bobby rolled his eyes, feeling frustrated. Could she make up her mind, already? It's not like he wanted any of this. "What does that mean to you, then. Terry? You're the one that wanted this, so you tell me. What the hell do you want from me?" His voice rose steadily, stopping just short of a shout. It was late, after all, and the last thing they needed was an audience.

Terry flinched back and she looked over her shoulder automatically to be sure no one had heard. "I don't know! It doesn't mean that we never see each other or that we can't talk. I just...I can't date you right now. I need to figure out...Mother of Mercy, Bobby, you asked me to marry you not four days ago! I can't pretend like nothing has happened and go back to the way things were." She struggled to control her voice, tone pleading.

Bobby took a deep breath and walked back to the toaster, jam in hand. When he spoke, his voice was calm and quiet. "...Fine. But guess what? I can't just hang out and pretend we're pals again. I can't be around you and...and not be able to touch you, kiss you." He looked away, because that had been hard to admit, and noticed his toast. When had it popped up? Did it matter? He wasn't that hungry now, anyway.

Terry looked down, closing her eyes against sudden tears. She didn't want to cry. Not again. "We shouldn't have been sleeping together, Bobby. It was a mistake." She spoke quietly enough that at first she was afraid that he hadn't heard.

For a minute, the only sound was the scrape of the knife as Bobby buttered his toast. Then he muttered, voice bitter, "Yeah, I think we made a lot of mistakes." First being getting involved with a seventeen year old. He knew that wasn't fair, but at the moment it gave him something to focus on other than the pain her words seemed to drag up.

She opened her mouth to deny it or to ask what he thought they were...to ask if he thought everything was a mistake, she'd been the one to push him into this in the first place. Did he regret it all? The thought hurt too much to contemplate. "Aye," Terry said softly, "Not that I...it's not that I don't love you. That's not it. It's just...this was backward."

"Right. Whatever." Bobby rolled his eyes again and slathered jam carelessly onto the toast, refusing to look at her. Backward? How the hell was it backward? They were friends, they fell in love, and then they slept together. If the baby had been real, that would have been a little backwards...but it wasn't. It wasn't real, it was all over, and now he had no idea how to deal with Terry, or what she expected of him.

The brush off hurt and she wished he would yell again. At least then she knew he cared. "I don't want to just give up. I want some time to figure out what's right for us." Her voice was so close to begging that she physically recoiled from the words. Her tone sharpened in response "It doesn't help that you won't tell me what you want. You're just...standing there."

Bobby screwed the lid on the jam and crossed to the fridge, putting them away without a word. He came back to the counter, staring down at his toast. "Maybe we're not right for us," he said quietly, far more calmly than he felt. She said she didn't want to give up, but she also didn't want to be near him, and thought that sleeping together was a mistake, and...why the hell didn't she just finish him with an 'it's not you, it's me' fatality? Or maybe he'd just beat her to it. He scooped his toast up and barely even looked at her as he walked past, adding, "And I won't just stand here. ...I'll walk away." He left the kitchen, crumbs strewn over the counter, and dropped the untasted piece of toast into the first trash can he passed on his way to his suite.

No...no, that wasn't right! "Bobby!" Terry exclaimed horrified, taking a step after him. She stopped herself from running after him out of pride then turned and slammed her fist into the nearest wall. At least that gave her an excuse for the tears.

Thursday afternoon. Bobby takes the afternoon off of work to return the engagement ring he bought less than a week ago, and takes a walk when he gets back. He runs into Marius, they talk, Bobby flirts, and is shot down. But that's cool.


Bobby returned the car to the garage and hesitated at the door leading back into the mansion. He didn't really feel like seeing anyone just now, especially Terry. He took a deep breath and turned away, heading out onto the grounds instead. A nice long walk along the jogging path, alone with his thoughts, would probably do him some good. His pocket felt empty and he tried not to dwell on that, head down as he followed the familiar path.

Marius slowed as he rounded the gentle curve in the path, tired but happy. His time and stamina were back to normal now; the physical therapy with Haroun had been paying off. He was about done with his run, but he still needed to cool down-- he blinked. Someone else was on the path ahead of him. The signature was familiar, even though the silhouette wasn't immediately so -- one of the older kids, he thought. Ah, Bobby.

"Hey," Marius called, grinning. He slowed to a walk as he approached the other boy. "Nice day, yeah?"

Bobby raised his head, blinking a few times as his mind caught up with the fact that he wasn't alone. "Oh. Hey, Marius." He glanced up at the sky and shrugged. "Sure." He looked back at Marius and then looked at Marius, slowly starting to grin. "Out for a jog?"

"Always," Marius replied cheerfully, wiping the sweat from his face. He took a swig from his waterbottle. "Spend three months lyin' in hospital an' you'd be runnin' every chance you could, too. So, you goin' to DC tomorrow?"

"Uh, no." Because Terry was going, and she needed some space. And he really didn't want to be thinking about Terry right now. "I'm sure it'll be fun, though." He wracked his brain for something witty and clever to say, or at least a way to figure out if Marius was into guys.

Marius nodded gamely. "I've got independant study with Mr. Dayspring, so I'm morally obligated. Or would be if I had morals." He rolled his neck as they walked, working out the knots in his shoulders. "Actually, I'm just lookin' forward to seein' more of the States. Hoping this fieldtrip doesn't end in a riot, but I'm not holdin' my breath."

No morals was promising. Bobby oh-so-casually reached over and patted Marius on the back, reassuring him. Yeah. "They don't all end in riots, I promise." They rarely went off without a hitch, but the riot had been on the extreme side of the 'fieldtrip event sliding scale'.

"We'll see. The first set my standards a bit high. And as roadtrips go, I was already quite discriminating." Marius finished by stretching his arms over his head and cracking his knuckles. He glanced over at the other boy. "So I hear you're workin' with Mr. Dayspring an' that Angelo bloke now. How's that?"

It took Bobby a minute to answer, as he became distracted by the stretch. "Uh. It's...cool. I mean, it's just filing, but I like working with Ang. He's my best friend."

Marius grinned. "You two share a flat, right? Must be nice. My roomies are decent, even Forge, but sharing a flat with four other blokes gets a bit complicated at times. More people you have, more things to argue about you find. An' of course, one of them inevitably ends up tryin' to show off his nubs."

Bobby laughed, then gave Marius a curious look. "And that's a complaint?"

Marius snorted. "Ever seen toes regrow? I have. It's a process you can do without." He shrugged and waggled his gloved fingers. "Ah, guess I shouldn't complain. Chompy bits an' that. Least I know I'm covered if I ever drop an axe on my foot."

Bobby stared at him for a second. "...Ohhh! Those nubs! Right, that's...gross." He laughed at himself, blushing faintly and compensating by chilling his skin, an almost automatic response by now.

Marius nodded. "My point." Inwardly, he was amused. The laugh clinched it. The harmonics were familiar -- to his ear if not to Marius' own experience. Thought he was Terry's bloke? Then again, even at Xavier's it'd be a bit hard finding a date who fills both requirements in one go. "How's Terry, by the way?" he asked, reminded. "Haven't seen her much lately."

"She's...hell. I don't know. We're 'taking some time'," Bobby muttered, smile abruptly disappearing. He even made quotes with his fingers at the end. "Whatever. Women are too damn confusing."

"Goin' that well, huh? That's why I never go for the relationship part of havin' a relationship," the younger boy said wisely. "Ah well, just keep it in perspective. You'll either work it out or have done with it. It'll happen how it happens."

"I'm thinking I'll just swear off females altogether," Bobby said, giving Marius an appraising look. Perfect. No relationship, good looking guy, funny, charming...if anyone could distract him from the absence of the ring in his pocket and the corresponding absence of Terry in his life...

"You're a stronger man than me. Too many things I'd miss. Two, at the very least." There was really no need to string the boy along. He attempted to bring the subject around as tactfully as he could. Or as tactfully as he was capable of, anyway, which he was prepared to admit wasn't very. "Ah, I love women. There're some beautiful ones here, too. Don't know how anyone gets any work done, even if most of them can beat the livin' shite out of a bloke. Or maybe because of it. I have odd taste."

"True. There are some gorgeous women here." Bobby licked his lips quickly and added, "And some gorgeous men." He watched Marius out of the corner of his eyes, trying to guage his reaction.

Marius shrugged carelessly, smiling. "Ah, they're okay, if you like that sort of thing." The corner of his mind that existed outside his policy of not dating within socially complicated situations absently wondered if Bobby hitting on him meant Terry was free. "Personally, I'll stick with the women. Aforementioned two things an' that."

Right. He was being politely turned down. Fair enough. And par for the course, really. "Sure. They're nice, don't get me wrong. Just not worth the headache." Or the heartache.

"On that we're agreed, mate. I don't need anything that requires that much maintanance. Or complication. An' this place is nothing but." He grinned again. "Myself, I'll stick to clubbing. Lots of pretty girls in interestin' outfits, an' they all like the accent."

Bobby shuddered at the memory of his own clubbing experience. "Yeah, you can have 'em," he said quietly. He was a bit embarrassed now, and ready to get back to his solitude. "Sorry, I'm not much of a clubber."

"It's not for some," Marius acknowledged. "But Manuel knows all the bouncers. Or makes them think he does for a few minutes." He flashed the other boy a grin. "It's good to have friends of legal age."

Bobby's shudder was more visible this time. "Sure." Not that he believed Manuel was really Marius' friend--Manuel was Manuel's friend, and that was the extent of it. "Look, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, all right?" Just thinking about that jerk made him feel gross.

"No worries." Even Marius could perceive the drop in the temperature of the conversation. Time to go, then. He took another swig from his water bottle and grinned at Bobby. "It's about time I got back anyway. Give us a ring if you ever decide to do that luge bit again, by the way. That was brilliant."

"Thanks." That brought the grin back. "I've done a skating rink, too, and an ice fort...but that was my most ambitious yet."

Marius laughed. "Have to say, mate, 'makes things colder' didn't strike me as a winner in the powers department, but you manage to pull it off. If only all our mutations were that much fun. Ah, well. I'll see you around." He gave the other boy a parting wave and trotted back towards the school.