xp_logs | Masque: Jay & Kurt, backdated to Friday morning

My computer is dumb and wouldn't let me save and compile the log even though this was finished two days ago. Early Friday morning, Jay sneaks out of his room to see if his new wings are capable of flight, and bumps into Kurt. A brief theological discussion is had, leaving Jay feeling a little bit better about himself.

Jay was finally growing accustomed to walking on these spindly talony dinosaur legs, and he was getting bad cabin fever. Not like there's much he could do, though, because he sure as hell didn't want anyone seeing him like this. But who's up at 5:30 in the morning during spring break? Perfect time to see if these new bat-like wings are capable of flight.

So up to the flyer's platform he trudged, as quietly as he could so as to not wake up anyone. Of course, that only works if no one else is awake. And as fate would have it (of course), someone was awake at this ungodly hour. Ironically, the other resident demon. And no way to avoid him. Fuck.

No way to avoid passing him, perhaps, but Kurt had never been one to force his company on someone where it wasn't wanted, unless he thought it was needed more than solitude. He just nodded to Jay from his spot on the flyer's platform, the perfect place to watch the sun rise.

Jay probably did need company. Left to his own devices, he'd just worry and self-flagellate. Despite Kyle's assertions to the contrary, he was still very much convinced that this was some sort of karmic retribution. He's a fallen angel. "'Mornin'," he muttered, spreading his thin, leathery wings.

"Good morning, Jay", Kurt responded calmly, neither staring at Jay nor conspicuously not looking at him. He had a lifetime of knowing how much both those reactions stung, after all.

Jay didn't really know much about flying. Forge had tried to explain to him concepts of force, air pressure, drag, and all that, but he'd just smiled and nodded. He really should have listened, though, because then he wouldn't have even tried to fly. His wings were just too light to support his weight, so he couldn't even get off the ground. Good thing he didn't jump off the platform.

The loud curse that followed probably destroyed the morning's beauty.

Kurt shot to his feet when he heard the cursing, then relaxed when he saw that Jay was all right. Physically, anyway... or rather, not hurt beyond what Masque had done to him. "...Jay?"

"Ah can't fly," he said, his voice raspy. "Ah-Ah can't fly. They took away everythin'." He couldn't take to the air, he couldn't play the guitar, he couldn't even kiss his boyfriend. Everything he loved was gone. He wasn't sure which was worse: the constant pain he felt in his limbs from his healing factor trying in vain to resculpt his body, or the emotional pain from losing the things that made him Jay.

Kurt winced, and took a step towards the boy. "Do not give up hope. We are working on finding the man who did this to you."

"How can Ah even have hope inna first place?" Jay asked despondently. "When Ah look like this . . . What if even if you find the person and he can't fix us? What then? I'm not good for nuthin' else now . . ."

"If he did this", Kurt said firmly, "he can undo it. And when we find him, we will see to it that he does."

Something about Kurt's optimism was reassuring in a way that no one else's was, and it calmed him a bit. "Can Ah ask you, uh, a kinda sensitive question?"

"Of course. Anything you need."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but, uh . . ." Great way to preamble a personal question. "Ah know you're really religious and feel deeply 'bout God, but don'tcha ever think He's punishin' you or somethin' by, uh, making you look like you do?" Or in other words, is God punishing Jay?

"...I will not say the thought has not occurred to me. Especially since... well, I know things now about my parentage that I did not know before. But... no. I do not believe God would do that to an innocent child. Or to any innocent. It was a man who did this to you, Jay. Not God."

"But if God let the man . . ." Jay frowned, though it looked almost predatory on his face. "Sorry. It's that good ole Christian guilt comin' ta hit me, Ah reckon."

"God does not often intervene so directly in human affairs", Kurt reminded him. "Much as we might wish he had. You have not been punished."

"Ah s'pose not." That made him feel a little bit better, if he were pressed to admit it. "Y'all're really on the case? Ah mean, makin' any progress?"

"We have not found him yet. But it has not been so very long. There is still more than enough reason to hope, still."

"'Hope is the pillar of the world,'" Jay quoted, gazing at the slowly rising sun with its promises of improvement.