xp_logs | Kurt and Forge, in the ballroom

In the ballroom Sunday afternoon, Kurt comes across Forge trying to brush up on his dancing skills. Some instruction is given, along with a talk about faith, trust... and mothers. Yes, it's exactly as awkward as it sounds.

Forge hit the rewind key on his iPod, watching the small screen blur in reverse to the beginning of the clip. As he started it again, he tried to match movements to the people on the screen, keeping his feet moving in time with the music coming from the speakers.

Ms. Maximoff had been right - dancing was a skill that went rusty pretty quickly if you didn't use it. And since Forge had only had the one instance to make use of what she'd taught him last January, he was rustier than a junkyard scrap heap. Rather than ask one of the other girls to help him out (because who knows WHO'D spill the beans to Jennie that he had no clue how to dance and the thought of prom with a date was already daunting enough...), he'd loaded some old movies onto his iPod and headed for the solitude of the ballroom.

Now, if only he could get his damn feet moving right...

Kurt happened to be passing the ballroom and blinked, hearing the music. Quietly, he opened the door to glance inside and see who was there.

There was even more blinking when he saw who it was.

"Okay," Forge mumbled, fast-forwarding to the next scene. "Less Patrick Swayze, more Gene Kelly and..." He stepped sideways in time to the big band music, forward and backward with a smile. One step too far with his left leg, however, and the edge of his foot caught on one of the rugs.

Juggling his iPod as he whirled to recover his balance, Forge wound up dropping to a sitting position, foot tangled in the rug as the strains of "Singing in the Rain" could still be heard from the small white iPod. He hit pause, glancing up to finally see Kurt looking in from the doorway. Giving a halfhearted wave, he smiled. "This is harder than it looks, really."

"I know", he answered with a smile in return. "It took me many months to become competent. It is easier to learn with a partner than alone..."

"My last partner is apparently in deepest darkest Asia at the moment," Forge muttered, untangling himself and working his way to his feet. "And really, I took a look at who else around here can dance well enough to teach. And if you think I'm asking Kitty to give me pointers, well... I'm having enough trouble trying to reconcile the concept of taking a date to the prom already, I don't think adding another level of teasing would help."

He shrugged, pocketing the small device. "Never exactly had much call to dance at my old school. What with the whole not talking to anyone and stuff."

Kurt nodded, understanding. If Alison had still been there, he would have suggested her, but in the circumstances... "I think perhaps Kitty would keep silent, if you asked her. But if you do not want to ask her and you need a teacher badly enough... I can dance."

Forge blinked. Of course Mr. Wagner taught dance, duh. And it wasn't like it was any more embarassing than if he were to be walked in on practicing by himself.

"All right," he said with an attempt at nonchalance. "You're about Jennie's height, anyway. That's important, right?"

"It does help, yes. And I can follow, so as to teach you to lead." His voice was casual, genuinely so. This was just another lesson, after all.

Forge set the iPod on a small end table, starting a piece of music. Nodding his head, he tried to remember his music classes from the previous year. "3/4 time... waltz, right?"

"That is right. And we can try other dances later, perhaps, if you learn this one quickly."

Despite the initial awkwardness, exacerbated by the oddness of Kurt's three-fingered hands, Forge found himself learning easily. "Okay," he commented after a few minutes, "it's like moving in a little box, and you can turn or add things every three steps. I think I got it."

Kurt smiled, pleased. "You are doing very well. Shall we continue practising the waltz, or would you like to learn something else?"

Taking a break to sit in one of the chairs, Forge laughed. "Give me a moment? I think I need to make some adjustments." He folded his left leg over his right, fiddling with the knee joint adroitly. "I mean, I'm not looking to try and impress anyone with the flashy stuff like Kitty and Jamie do. You know, the spinning and tossing and... stuff."

Kurt nodded. "That is a much more advanced level than I will be teaching you today, I think. Even though I am sure you could make your leg able to take it."

"Leg, yes. Me? Not so much." Forge felt the tingle of feedback pass through his body as he adjusted tension cables and connectors. "I mean, dancing's like cooperative art, right? Half of it's dependent on your partner, I know that much. It's obvious watching some of the folks here. Jamie and Kitty, obviously. But even Jay and Kyle. I know they don't admit it, but I know Jay's been teaching him how to dance when Kyle says he's 'going for a run'. It... seems like it's easier to do when there's that connection, isn't it?"

He sighed, lowering his leg and testing the mobility of the knee and ankle. "Not really an option for me, I don't think."

"It is a little soon to be ruling anything out", Kurt pointed out gently. "Just because you have not found it yet..."

"If I don't have any expectations," Forge replied, "then I can't have any disappointments. I like the way things are for me now. I mean, I have friends. That's something that two years ago, I wouldn't even know what it meant. More than that? I wouldn't know how to even go about it." He suddenly flushed bright red, looking at the floor. "I mean, I know about some of that stuff, but... it hasn't gone well so far."

"...ah." Kurt possibly was not the best person to be giving advice on this area of things, but he tried his best anyway. "You have come a very long way, as you said. "And I think this is not something to be... looked for, too hard, but to be allowed to happen."

"Not like I had much of a choice in the matter," Forge said, shaking his head. "And then when I did... you ever do something that you felt you could rationalize in the heat of the moment, then feel horrible about afterwards?"

"Several times", Kurt answered quietly. "I think almost everyone has, at least once."

"It just..." Forge sighed. This had still been weighing on him, even half a year later. "When I was down in Florida, with Magneto. There was a moment where I thought, 'hey, what if I'm not going to live through this?'. I mean, if I did what he asked, there really wasn't going to be a lot of need to keep me around, you know? And then things happened and I really wasn't thinking clearly and..."

Kurt froze, not particularly liking the implications of what he was hearing, and asked carefully, "What happened, Forge?"

Forge leaned backwards, staring at the ceiling and exhaling. "Magneto kept trying to feed me rhetoric to get me to cooperate, to see things his way. And... Mystique had... different methods."

...yes, that was about what he'd thought. Kurt closed his eyes, pained. "She pretended to be someone else?"

"Yeah," Forge said with a gulp. "And the thing is - I knew. And I... I should have known better. It wasn't like I... I'd already made the decision that I was going to try and get Lorna out, no matter what happened to me. And it'd be easier for me to deal with if I really believed I didn't have a choice. But I did, and I made the stupid one."

He laughed slightly, shaking his head. "It's not what I... we did. It's that... how do you ever trust someone enough to know that they want you for you, and not just what you can do for them? It's one thing to trust someone as a friend, but more? I'm not sure anymore."

"I do not know what to tell you, except that sometimes you must simply take it on faith. Or risk never trusting anyone so again and... there is loneliness, in that." He sighed. "I am sorry she made you feel that way with what she did."

"It's not that I don't trust people, it's that..." He pounded his fist against his leg suddenly, making the prosthetic foot twitch. "The only person who's even bothered to even fake that kind of interest, and it wasn't anything more than a manipulative scheme. And even if someone would be interested..." he waved a hand to his leg. "Do you have any idea what it's like to have people look at you and see pity hiding behind everything? Knowing that you're always going to be different? A freak for them to..."

He paused, realizing with sudden shame who he was talking to. "... yeah, I guess you do. I'm sorry."

"I do", Kurt confirmed quietly. "But not everybody has looked at me that way. My mother did not, when she took me in, and I have found acceptance here as well. The rest is, perhaps, something to work towards."

"I suppose," Forge said with a small smile. "It'd just have to take one heck of a patient person. Someone who's willing to look past the obvious flaws to the stuff that might be less obvious. That's what Doc Samson says, anyway." He chuckled and reached for his iPod. "Sounds a lot like dancing, I suppose. Easier when you've got a good partner?"

"Exactly. But believe me, such people do exist. And are very much worth holding on to, when they are found, in whatever way you can."

Forge nodded, his mood improving. "What's that they say? The best revenge is living well? I can do that. You know, in a way, I almost pity her," he said softly. "When you can look like anyone, how do you ever really know who you are? I mean, even in three weeks, I didn't learn much about her. I know Erik, he had a family. Wife, children, all that. No one seems to know anything about Mystique. That's kind of sad."

"You never saw her true face, then? Or did you?" He offered a rueful smile, unsure how what he was about to admit might be taken. "I... happen to know that she did have at least one child. Once."

"I saw what she shows everyone," Forge answered, "But as to how real that is, who knows? And..." then the second part of Kurt's statement hit him. "Wait, she what?"

"She had a child", Kurt repeated, meeting Forge's gaze with calm yellow eyes. "But she did not keep him. She left him in the care of a Rom clan, in Germany."

"Wow," Forge said breathlessly. "That seems to be a habit around here. I mean, you have Ms. Maximoff, then Amanda, and then there's you of course..."

Then it hit Forge like a brick to the head. "...oh my god."

"Amanda was born to the Rom and taken from us", Kurt corrected, but then nodded at the rest. "Yes. I do not call myself her son, but... she was my birth mother."

Forge's eyes widened in a mixture of surprise, horror, and embarassment. "Oh my god," he repeated. "I... she... your mother? That means she's..." He did some quick math in his head, then screwed up his face in shock. "Oh, and I thought it couldn't get any worse."

Kurt chuckled, faintly. "If it helps, I do not consider it any worse on your part. She did not have any part in my upbringing, and I do not acknowledge her as anything more than physically my mother. And her mutation means she does not look as old as I am sure she must be."

"Not. Helping." Forge said through gritted teeth. He stood up, clenching his hands and turning away from Kurt to grab the back of his chair. His shoulders shook, then surprisingly, he started laughing. Turning around, he wiped tears from his eyes as he chuckled. "At what... at what other school would this ever... ever have even been a possible situation? I mean, the completely improbably absurdity of it all. It must be something in the water."

Kurt was watching him worriedly, but managed a slight smile at that. "We do seem to have a very high rate of improbable events, around here. Perhaps someone should look into it."

"I'll get right on that," Forge said with a smile. "Between you and Ms. Maximoff and Mr. Dayspring, I think we have our fill of evil parent issues. Does the Professor just not believe in background checks or something?"

Forge shook his head with laughter, and then looked over at Kurt. "Thank you. I mean, for listening. And being honest, and helping. Not just the dancing, but... there are days where I have my doubts that everything's going to be okay. And there's been a whole lot lately. It's good to know that someone's got faith for things to turn out for the better."

"Some days", Kurt said quietly, "my faith is all I have. Which makes it that much more important. I am always here if you need to talk."

"I'll take you up on that," Forge promised. "And who knows? I might just give this 'having faith' thing a try. Optimism hasn't killed me yet."