Log: Marie and Doug, late Wednesday night

[x-traction.livejournal.com]

Marie, still royally pissed off, decides to visit Doug. His door actually survives the experience.

The bad moments of the past week had outweighed the good, in Marie’s opinion. And after the incident in the gym with Logan, she had finally cracked. She didn’t remember showering and changing, walking to the garage or even starting the car and driving. All she knew was that one moment she was in the mansion and the next she was parked outside of a brownstone in the New York City. Blinking, she slowly realized where she was…and that’s when she got mad.

Storming to the door of the building, she composed herself enough to smile at the doorman and remind him that she had just been there a week ago to visit Amanda. He was even kind enough to direct her to Doug’s room, which is how she found herself standing in front of his door. Her anger impacted her ability to control her strength, so her knocking turned more into banging, causing the door to rattle a bit on its hinges.

Wondering if there was some sort of emergency, Doug got up from his laptop with alacrity to cross and open the door. When he opened it and saw who was standing there, he stopped short. "Shit," he said, half to himself. "I've got a spy hole to see who's knocking, I really need to start using it." Of course, now that the door was open, shutting it in the face of someone who had super-strength would probably be counterproductive. "I suppose you'd like to come in?" he asked quietly.

“Nice to see you too,” she said before walking into the room. Crossing her arms over her chest, she glared at him. “Ah thought maybe you’d want to see me or talk to me…but Ah guess Ah was wrong.”

Doug's hands clenched at his sides. He wasn't going to cry or have a panic attack. He wasn't going to cry or have a panic attack. He took a deep breath. "It's not...I don't..." he stammered. Stopping, he tried again. "I thought you wouldn't want to see me," he admitted in a small voice.

“Right,” she said. “Because you decided that Ah don’t care. And what deity gave you the ability to choose what Ah feel?” She ignored the look on his face because she knew if she focused on it, her anger would begin to give way to something else.

The anger practically radiated off of Marie, and it cut into Doug like sharpened steel. "I didn't..." he stammered again, shaking his head. "It wasn't like that. I wasn't trying to tell you how you could feel, I swear, Em," he replied. "I just...I was so hurtful, and I couldn't imagine you being anything but," he waved his hand at her pinched expression, "angry with me."

“Yes Doug, Ah’m angry with you. But you know what? You don’t run away from a friend when they’re angry…you stick around to sort things out.” She paced over to the other side of the room and leaned against a wall. “You didn’t even try,” she said, her voice growing quiet.

Doug would have flung himself into his large overstuffed chair, but that would have required energy and effort. Instead, he simply slumped into it and curled up, his knees against his chest. "Yeah, I ran away," he admitted. "I just couldn't face anyone after that. I just couldn't," he repeated, his eyes staring into nowhere.

His words struck a chord in Marie and the anger threatened to leak out of her, but she tried to hold onto it. It kept her from feeling all the other emotions that were warring for control. "Why not? Its not like it's the worst thing you've ever done." As soon as the words left her lips, she regretted them and the anger began to fade.

Doug winced. The worst thing he'd ever done..."The worst thing I've ever done was to you, too," he whispered, practically too softly to be heard.

In an instant, she crossed the room and reached out to squeeze his shoulder, but stopped herself before she made contact. “Ah…Ah shouldn’t have said that. Oh G-d, Ah’m just screwing everything up.” Her eyes filled with tears but she refused to let them fall.

Doug drew in a deep breath, and consciously made himself reach out to squeeze Marie's hand. "No, it's okay," he said in a more normal tone of voice, struggling against the depression that was trying to pull him down. "You forgave me for that, once upon a time, even though I don't know that I really ever forgave myself. Next to that...I should have...I dunno." He shrugged. "Running away wasn't the answer, I know. It was just...the only thing I could think of at the time."

“You should forgive yourself. That…it’s water under the bridge.” She didn’t respond to his explanation for running away. After all, what gave her the right to condemn someone for doing what she had done so many times before?

Doug didn't let go of Marie's hand immediately, suddenly self-conscious. He remembered the accusation Marie-Ange had leveled at him, about mooning after Marie. Suddenly he was very unsure of himself. Finally taking his hand back, he smiled in what he hoped was a natural fashion. "I'll work on it," he promised.

The smile Marie offered in return was half-hearted and did not reach her eyes. Sitting on the edge of the couch, she stared at the wall directly above and behind Doug's head. "How…how have you been holding up?" She needed to know that he was ok. That she hadn't ruined his life by returning.

"Up and down," Doug admitted honestly. "This 'working for a living' thing is harder than it looks, especially when I'm trying to take classes on top of it." The job that Pete had set for him was herculean to say the least. He waved at his sparsely furnished apartment. "I dug up some furniture, but mostly it's just me and my books and computers here." He shrugged. "I didn't feel up to asking anyone to help me move or find furniture."

Marie nodded and forced herself to make eye contact. “Hard to ask for help when you didn’t even tell people you were leavin’ in the first place.” That was what had hurt the most. No apology, no note, no nothing. He had just left without a word. Just like…Stop, don’t go there.

"I'm sorry." There. For once, Doug figured he actually knew the right thing to say in a situation like this. Maybe he was actually growing up.

Marie closed her eyes. “Thank you. Ah…Ah do understand why you did things the way you did.” Reopening them, she looked around the room. “You know, Ah can see that you have the whole computer geek décor going on, but really, don’t they pay you enough to do better?” she kidded weakly.

Doug chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Actually, I've got some money socked away from..." Well, he wasn't really sure how to describe the job that they'd done in Las Vegas. "Well, let's just say I have a little money put away. It's just more that I haven't had time to go out and get stuff yet." He waved at the television and DVD player that rested on a crate. "I do have entertainment, though," he said. "Want to watch a movie and order Chinese?" he asked suddenly, his heart in his throat. "Amanda stole my Chinese the other day because I fell asleep while she was visiting," he confided.

Chinese and a movie sounded like a much better alternative than returning to Westchester. Marie quickly glanced at her watch. “You know…that sounds good. Ah just need to let someone at the mansion know Ah’ll be out late.” Pushing a stray piece of hair back into place, she smiled genuinely at Doug. Perhaps…perhaps their friendship was finally on its way to being repaired.