xp_logs | Jay and his roommates, today.

Jay says good bye to each of his roommates. First, Forge.

Jay had to ask himself where he'd accumulated all the stuff in his room. He'd only arrived with two duffle bags and his guitar, and now he had two bags and half a dozen boxes. And he still wasn't done yet. "It's like this place doesn't want me to leave," he muttered. Like the house itself was a mutant and kept just throwing stuff at him to keep him there as long as possible. A little frightening, but also relatively bland for a final Xavier's School experience.

"Gee, wonder why that could be."

Forge leaned against the doorway, arms folded across his chest. "Seriously, with all the crap you've accumulated, I'm starting to think you were trying to build a nest or something. You got an egg on the way that you haven't been telling anyone about, huh?" He smiled widely, shaking his head at Jay. "I knew it. You're going back to Kentucky to hatch an egg, the secret's out."

If that comment had come from anyone but Forge, then Jay would have retorted nastily. But he was one of the few people whom he was genuinely going to miss, especially their playful banter. Jay smiled sadly. "Ah've got a deal with Colonel Sanders," he admitted. "S'like an arranged marriage, and he's collectin' now."

"So instead of 'boy or girl?' we should throw a shower and ask 'extra crispy or original recipe?'," Forge quipped, walking over to shove one of the boxes aside and take a seat. "You know, this is totally going to screw up my English 101 class next semester. Who else am I going to be able to crib all my Shakespeare notes from?"

"Ah thought you placed outta all those gen ed classes," Jay said as he took a seat next to Forge. "You need me ta succeed in college? Ah'm flattered."

"Almost all," Forge griped, placing a hand to his forehead melodramatically. "Turns out that the Business School won't let you test out of English classes. Something about having to know how to write proposals and whatnot. I figure that could just be summed up by 'hire a secretary', but nooo..."

He chuckled, then cocked his head at Jay with a half-smile. "You're really going to do it, huh?" he asked rhetorically. "The stage, the lights, the whole deal. It's... a big part of me doesn't want you to go. But the rest of me? I remember after... well, I was worried you'd never get up the nerve to go out on stage again and just be yourself. But you are. And that's why I'm okay with this."

Shaking his head again with a small chuckle, Forge punched Jay in the arm lightly. "Doesn't mean I don't expect to get a call the moment you get signed to a major label, dude."

"Ah laugh at you college folk. Four plus years of sleepless nights and homework up the whazoo for a little piece of paper?" Jay brushed his hair away from his face. "Ah dunno what's gonna happen, really. Ah've been thinkin' about just givin' Alison a call and havin' her hook us up, but . . . Ah wanna do it on mah own. S'been mah dream since Papa passed, and it don't seem right ta just have it handed ta me without workin' for it."

"And you'd better work for it," Forge insisted. "You've got enough gifts of your own, now's the time to put some hard work behind it. That's why I'm doing the college thing - I could make millions being some corporation's idea monkey, just making new things for them to market. But I want to do it for myself, and that means learning how."

"Ah'll even endorse your products. We'll be helpin' each other." Jay fought to keep his smile. "Thanks for everythin' you've done for me, man. Ah probably would've been gone much sooner without you."

"Hey, what about that time you saved my... no, wait. The time you rescued me from... no... Aha, the time we fought off the... hey, you haven't done shit for me, man! What kind of friend are you?" Forge said, then laughed and threw his arm over Jay's shoulders. "A damn good one," he answered himself. "That better not change. Or I'm driving to Ass End, Kentucky and I'll pluck every one of those prissy pink feathers."

"Hey, Ah sang you to sleep in Boiler Beach that one time," Jay pointed out, leaning into Forge's embrace. "And they're red, not pink, you prick. So thbbpt."

"They're a light red," Forge corrected, "and there's a word for that, it's pink." Lifting his hand, he playfully swatted Jay upside the head. "So before you take off out of here, how about we haul my metal junk parts and your pink-feathered ass over to the Burger Shack and load up on grease and carbs one last time?"

Jay hopped off his bed and pulled Forge to his feet. "Mah ass ain't feathered, neither. Not like you'd know, you passed that chance." Grinning, he leaned in and gave Forge a quick kiss on the cheek. "C'mon, Ah'll drive. Marius bought me one sweet pick-up."

~*~

Then Marius.

"Marius?" Jay called, knocking on the door to his roommate's room in the medlab. "Y'all decent? Can Ah come in?" He fought to keep his expression regular, despite the smell of sulfuric acid in the room. Not the way he wanted to say bye, but he had to say something.

Marius looked up from the letter he'd been writing, absently thankful Moira had provided him with some of the nicer Xavier's stationary. He straightened up a little from his seat when he registered who it was.

"Decent as she gets," Marius said, turning the paper over and pushing the arm of the bed tray aside. He eyed his suitemate impassively, expression unreadable under the mask of the respirator. "There will now be a brief pause as I allow you the requisite moment of shock an' awe over my rather less-than-improved appearance. No worries. I just figure it as practice."

"Ah wouldn't . . ." Jay started to protest, then stopped. "Sorry. S'not every day Ah see mah friend in such a condition. Don't mean no disrespect by it, of course." He offered Marius a small smile. "Ah don't reckon takin' mah healing factor again would help much at this point, would it?"

Marius gave Jay a slight nod, acknowledging the boy's lack of denial. The honesty helped, somehow. "No worries, I can't say as I take the reactions personally. Be glad you weren't around for the progression from Point A to Point B. Bit messy." The memory of the look on Jennie's face when his wrist had torn open flashed. Marius shook his head slightly. "Ta for the offer, but nah. Checked with Dr. Moira. Healin' factor resets a body to normal. For me, that's this. Besides, my back still twitches at the thought of the first loan. Nice one most've the effort was goin' towards the massive tissue damage or I might've grown more'n a foot's length of the wings. I don't mind tellin' you that was something less than a joy, comin' or goin'. Not that I'm one to criticize a timely rescue, but I couldn't sit properly for a week."

"Just be glad that's all you got," Jay snorted. "Ah had these little stubs for a coupla weeks, and then full-blown wings within a month. Ran inta the barn one night so Ah'd have the privacy ta make mahself a harness." Manifesting felt so long ago. Jay sighed. No nostalgia now, please.

"Ah, the chompy bits were like that. Weeks've inexplicable blisters, then one day it's the palm-floss for me. Simpler times." Marius leaned back in his bed, tilting his head as much as he could around the bulk of the respirator. "So, what brings you to brave the 'limited visitors' restriction? I'd say it was concern for my delicate health, but highly as I value my personal well being even I wouldn't willingly set foot into Dr. Voght's territory for that."

Jay stuck out his tongue at Marius. "'Course Ah'm here ta see you. Ah may not be the best kinda friend out there, but Ah'll brave even Czarina Voght ta check up on you." He paused, trying to remember if he'd made his announcement before or after Marius wound up down here. All the days were starting to bleed together. "And Ah also wanted ta say goodbye, and thank you for funding mah ride outta Dodge."

It actually took Marius a few moments to remember what Jay was talking about. Jay had announced his intentions to leave the school shortly before his first pulmonary arrest. It felt like an eternity ago. "Ah, is it that time already?" Marius said, raising his eyebrows. At Jay's nod he snorted softly, the noise oddly exaggerated by the breathing apparatus. "It's the end of an era, for true. As I said, only too happy to help. Money's there to be spent. There are worse uses for disgusting wealth than displaying one's proper gratitude. It's no gift of life, but one does what one can, eh?" And he really was glad. As he'd told Kyle, money he had. He may have been inappropriately lashing out at friends and at the mercy of a mutation that seemed designed for nothing more than steadily taking him apart piece by piece, but at least there was something he was still good for.

"The bravery is appreciated," Marius continued after a moment. "As was the tolerance. I apologise if I haven't been quite as sensitive as I ought to have been about that bit with Tommy, or . . ." His eyes fell on the red-feathered wings arching above Jay's head, and his mind supplied "The out thing." Too late, Marius was learning to sympathize with what his soon-to-be-former suitemate must have been living with for a long time now. Won't be hiding behind the gloves anymore, will I?

"Well," Marius said, "I won't trouble either of us with the impressive list of ways in which I've made life in our flat difficult, but cheers for puttin' up with me. And, as I may have mentioned, saving my life. I have an unnatural fixation on that point, I know."

"Least Ah can do for bein' such an ass to you," Jay pointed out. "Ah reckon we're pretty even now, the various bits of autographed memorabilia notwithstanding." Ooh, big words. Jay's growing up. "So. What's the deal with all this?" He waved at the respirator set-up. "At least in the short term. They ever gonna let you see sunlight again?"

Marius waved off the concern. "She's not as bad as she looks. Just bein' cautious now, mostly. I'll be out an' makin' a nuisance of myself again soon enough." But not to Xavier's. After a moment's consideration Marius decided there was no need to mention that point. This was about Jay leaving, and at any rate, Marius didn't particularly feel like dealing with the inevitable flood of endless well-wishing and attempts at persuasion. Right now all he wanted was to get out of here as quietly as possible. He'd had enough attention to last him a lifetime.

"I'd offer a manly shake an' that," Marius said, changing the subject, "but the gloves haven't been so much of a priority lately, so it'd be a bit sharper'n normally acceptable in polite company." The fingers of one tooth-rimmed palm waggled apologetically. "However, you can expect the harassing phone calls to begin once the international record labels come to call. If you are sufficiently accepting of my purely materialistic advances I may even be persuaded to make use of my father's vast influence over the Australian media. What's a little nepotism between mates?"

"Ah'll make sure ta include you on the list of folk with the private phone number," Jay offered. He hesitated, and then reached out to pat Marius's bare hand. And he didn't even show any negative reaction when he touched his soon to be former roommate, even though he cringed on the inside. "Ah gotta head out soon if Ah wanna beat traffic. Got a long drive ahead of me. Ah'll see you soon, yeah? Second Ah head back to New York, you and Forge get the first calls."

Marius blinked, then gave Jay a slight nod. "No worries." He made no move to reciprocate the touch, but the skin around his eyes creased in what might have been a smile. "You're not the only one who'll be keepin' busy. It was a pleasure, for true. Good luck, mate."

~*~

And then finally Kyle.

Jay surveyed his empty room. Everything was loaded up in his new truck, and there was really no reason to dawdle. He'd left messages for Sam and Paige (he'd see them for Thanksgiving, anyway), and had already spoken to those few people he'd wanted to say goodbye to. It was time to go.

He was dressed in the same clothes he'd worn when he'd first arrived, he realized as he walked down the stairs to the main floor. And he felt much the same: lost, angry, confused, alone. Only difference now was that his healing factor had long since removed his tattoo. With a heavy sigh, he pushed open the front door and ambled down the path to where his truck was waiting, humming Green Day's "Good Riddance" under his breath.

Kyle'd avoided the suite during the entire time Jay was packing. He was a lot of the reason that Jay was leaving, and didn't have a damn clue what to do about it. But sitting around doing nothing had him all restless, and avoiding wasn't cool. Nothing got done that way. And it wasn't like Jay was giving him a chance to say much of anything.

He was pretty damn sure the last thing Jay was going to expect was to see him sitting on top of the truck, arms crossed over his chest with a determined look on his face. "You can't leave."

"The maps in the front seat and the full tank of gas say differently," Jay replied, glaring at Kyle with such intensity, as if he were trying to psionically melt his face. "Unless y'all wanna hold onto the roof for dear life, then Ah reckon you should get off. And Ah won't appreciate any claw damage or shed fur on mah new baby, neither." Being nasty almost made it easier to leave. Almost.

Kyle snorted. "Please. I am not Teen Wolf. I'm not car surfing. You just can't leave yet." At worst, Jay'd start the truck and Kyle'd have to roll off the top, but he could take a couple of bruises. "I haven't figured out how the hell to apologize enough, so you can't leave. Cause it ain't like you're gonna leave me a phone number or anything."

"Apologize?" Jay scoffed. "Hun, there ain't nothin' you can say, so just save your breath." He couldn't look Kyle in the eyes, though, because that was a lie. It was what he really desperately wanted. It was just easier not to have to hear it.

"My folks are pretty messed up about a lot, but my dad said once, that when you screw up, you do the best you can to fix as much as you can." Kyle explained. "And I screw up a lot, but there's no fucking way I'm letting you get out of here without at least trying to fix some of it."

"Ah've heard you say enough already." Jay crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. "And didn't Ah say that Ah don't want ta hear nuthin' from you no more? We're through, so get over it."

"So, what, that's it, you want to keep being hurt, and you're just gonna go off and angst some more?" Kyle asked. "I'm not trying to get back with you, I just want you to hurt -less-, and I don't fucking think that's a bad thing, okay?"

"You broke mah heart and now you wanna help?" Jay snapped. "Damn it. Do you have any idea what exactly you did? You don't get ta be concerned for me." He angrily wiped his wet eyes. That comment about not wanting to get back together hurt, because there's always that little voice that wonders if things could be back to how they're supposed to be. And now, finally confronting Kyle for the first time in weeks, it was getting particularly vocal.

"I don't -get- to be? For fuck's sake, Jay, you don't get to say what I do and don't get to feel. I get to be worried about you and you sure as hell can't stop me. I didn't know you were fallin' for me, and if I did, I sure as hell would have thought twice about what I was doing when Brooke had her hands all over me." He shook his head angrily. "God dammit, Jay. I'm not a total jackass, I do actually, you know, give a shit about you."

"It shouldn't matter if Ah was fallin' for you or not!" Jay protested. He would not cry, he told himself. Not over this. Not now. "You shoulda known better. You have a real funny way of showin' how much you care."

"I'm not perfect! I didn't think! I'm sorry, Jay. I wasn't thinking about you, and if I could go back and undo it, I would, but I can't, and I don't damn well think you should be all miserable, but it's not like I can snap my fingers and fix it!" Kyle argued back. "But it wasn't because.. it didn't have anything to do with you being another guy, I just was being a dumbass."

"How can Ah not be miserable? Tell me, please!" Jay pleaded. "You think you feel bad? Fuck you. What's done is done and Ah don't wanna think about it again. Do you want me to forgive you or somethin'? Fine. It's okay. In fact, thanks for teachin' me more about human nature," he spat. "Ah know what ta look for in mah next boyfriend."

Kyle slid off the roof. "Fine. Whatever, dude. Go the hell away and don't come back. I was trying to apologize." He shook his head angrily and turned and headed towards the school. "I don't think you get that I don't give a damn how bad I feel, I just wanted you to feel less bad."

"Kyle . . ." Jay grabbed Kyle's arm as he tried to pass. It would've been so much easier to make Kyle hate him, but as angry was Jay was making him, it didn't look like that would happen. "Take care of yourself, okay? And make sure Forge eats." And then he pulled Kyle in for one final kiss.

Kyle was confused. Very, very confused. Television didn't explain this kind of thing. Books didn't explain it, at least, not the books he was reading, but maybe he needed to read something that wasn't pretty much an action movie in book form. "I.. uh.. " he stammered, watching Jay get into the truck.

As Jay pulled down the driveway, Kyle wandered back up the path and into the mansion. He was -totally- confused. Which is about how he'd started with Jay, so he figured it was pretty appropriately full circle.

Jay didn't really know why he did it. Some sense of closure, maybe. Most of what he'd said to Kyle had been true in some form, but much had been lies to protect himself. He watched Kyle amble back to the school and shifted to reverse.

By the time he reached I-95, he already had the melody and lyrics to "Wildchild" done.