Backdated - Ororo and Nathan - late Friday night

[x-storm.livejournal.com]

Ororo is down by the lake desperately trying to find some peace and quiet after the day's mission. Nate spots her and comes by to talk, though he's a bit surprised at what he finds out. He reminds her of some important truths, however, and maybe some peace is at hand after all.

"You know," Nathan's voice came from behind her, "I don't need my telepathy to know that you're bothered when I can see you from my kitchen window sitting out by the lake at one in the morning." He could have approached soundlessly, but he hadn't wanted to startle Ororo. Offering her a faint smile, he sank down into a cross-legged position at her side, adjusting his arm in its sling.

"It is, perhaps, an odd time to be doing such a thing," Ororo replied, wishing that she was able to relax the tension out of her shoulders and back. Meditation wasn't much good when your muscles were cramped and complaining. "Though it is also a strange time to be awake, looking out of the kitchen window."

"The house is quiet. Well," Nathan said with a faint twist of his mouth that might have been a smile, "the whole world is too quiet, but you don't need to hear me fretting on that subject." He looked sideways at her, studying her for a long moment. "Are you all right?" he asked softly.

Which answer to give, the long or short? "I am fine... relieved. Scott is home, and Dr. Voght says that with rest he will heal. So yes, I am all right. Thank you."

"Well, there's an odd sort of logic for you. I ask you how you are, and you talk about Scott. That's not," Nathan added quietly, "to say that I'm not relieved myself."

"Of course. We all are." Ororo stubbornly ignored the rest of his statement, focusing on the slow in and out of her breathing. "They have moved him to the greenhouse, in the hopes that the sun will aid his recovery."

Nathan was silent for a moment. "He told me once about an experiment he and Hank and Jean ran years ago, one where they kept him entirely out of the sun but had to stop after two days because he got sick." He shook his head a little. "I want to see him," he said more softly, "but I'll wait until he's all right for visitors."

"I hope that will not be long. I know there are many people, including students, who are anxious to see for themselves that he is all right. That may take some time, though..." 'Ro trailed off, images of her closest friend's bruised and bloodied face still fresh in her mind.

Nathan looked back at her and said nothing for another long moment. "You know," he finally said, "it's as hard to be the rescuer as it is to be the rescuee. Just... in different ways."

"I have gone through the usual routine. 'If only we had gotten there sooner. If only we had looked harder. If only, if only.' I know it is useless to have those regrets now." Ororo shrugged her shoulders, giving up for now on gaining any sort of relaxation. "It is the same as every time, only... different."

"Something else happened out there, didn't it?" He smiled somewhat humorlessly at the look he got. "No, the telepathy's still out. Call it an educated guess."

"Yes," she found herself admitting. "You will read it in the report soon enough, but... you know that Jean came with us. As we were infiltrating the silo, she disappeared. When I found her again, she had located Scott... and dealt with the men guarding him." 'Ro glanced sideways at Nathan, her expression tight. "Their eyes were blank. The Professors says he will do what he can, but..."

Nathan fell silent again. "Ah," he murmured. "I can't say I'm surprised. We knew she wasn't handling it well, this week."

"I should never have let her come. I knew it would happen, but I could not tell her no. It is just another thing to blame myself for... and her."

Nathan looked at her sharply, wishing for his telepathy. "You're angry," he said after a moment.

"Yes," Ororo confirmed, nodding curtly. "I cannot understand how anything allows the misuse of someone's powers... no matter how upset they may be. And I am tired of not being able to trust my team and my friends when we leave the mansion on missions. It is maddening." The skies above them stayed clear, though Ororo's posture grew more and more rigid as she spoke.

Nathan hesitated, then reached out and laid his good hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. "You know Charles will talk to her," he said after a moment. "Figure out what happened, why she lost control like that. I know it doesn't change what happened." He shook his head a little. "You couldn't have stopped her from going. It was the safest choice to make, Ororo. If you'd told her no, she would have gone off by herself, and who knows what would have happened then."

"Yes... of course." Little by little she relaxed, though her gaze remained fixed rigidly across the lake. "The lesser of the two evils. Is it always like this?" Ororo asked, not entirely rhetorically. "What have you experienced?"

"'Ro, I don't think there's any good option open in a situation like this. When everything's so emotionally charged... it's one of the drawbacks of the team being family. When the professional and the personal are so interconnected, other lines get blurred, too. It's almost inevitable." He sighed, staring out at the moonlight on the water. "I like to think there are pros to go along with the cons, though."

"I would not have it any other way," Ororo replied. "They are the only family I have. I only wish I could trust them not to do something terrible when I am not looking."

"You know, it's too bad Rachel's on Muir. Because this sort of situation really calls for dumping a baby on your lap until she cheers you up in spite of yourself," was Nathan's slightly wry reply to that. "Try and be objective, Ororo. How many times in the last year have one of your teammates actually done something awful in the field?"

"Not counting the Danger Room?" she asked dryly. "Three times?"

"And how many enormously stressful situations with serious personal overtones have we faced?"

"Too many to count."

"I'm not excusing any of it," Nathan said, "especially since I'm probably on your list for smacking that prisoner around in Africa. But these incidents are a rarity, Ororo. When you get right down to it, the team is extremely well-disciplined. I know that doesn't make this any less frustrating, but incidents like this are the exception, not the rule."

"Yes, yes, I know." Ororo sighed, finally glancing over at Nathan. "And good thing, too, or it would be better not to have a team at all." She tried to smile, though the dark shadows under her eyes were proof of her exhaustion. "I really am glad, you know. I do not know what I would have done if we had not found him."

"He's home safe," Nathan said. It struck him that it probably wouldn't hurt to remind her of that. At times like this, when you'd been running on an emotional high for days, it was hard to come down. Even if intellectually you knew you could relax. "You should go see him in the morning," he added, "restricted visitors or no. You need the reminder that this one gets recorded in the 'win' column."

"Yes, I think I will do that," she murmured, bowing her head. Raising one hand, she pinched the bridge of her nose with two fingers. "After I sleep. I think I have had maybe twelve hours in the past four days..."

"Excellent idea." Nathan slowly rose to his feet, his own balance unsteady. "It's all over now except the post-op. Just remember that, when your mind doesn't want to stop going a mile per minute." He offered her his hand. "It may just take a while to cycle back down, after this prolonged a stress period. You know that as well as I do."

Ororo accepted the hand, rising without too much trouble despite the sudden weariness that was descending upon her. Strange how it can sneak up on you like that. "Yes, you are right. But you are also right that it will get better. And that is reassuring."

"I managed to be reassuring? Go me." He gave her a crooked smile - and somewhat impulsively, didn't let go of her hand just yet as they headed back towards the path that led back to the boathouse and mansion. "Possibly I'm not as useless without the telepathy as I thought."

"Of course you are not," 'Ro said, smiling slightly as they passed under trees and patches of dark sky. "After all, the hangar could always use a Cable-shaped doorstop."

His laugh seemed overly loud in the quiet of the woods, but there was an edge of real delight to it. "Well, if I ever want to give up my day job..."