Kick It Up fallout: Clarice & Shiro

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Shiro is in his room recovering from his recent attack and Clarice comes to visit. It does not go well for either.



Clarice teleported directly into Shiro's room now that he was out of the medlab. Getting through classes while knowing what was going on had been torture, but she wasn't going to miss class for anything less than preventing the end of the world. "Well, you look like refried shit," she commented, grabbing his desk chair and pulling it closer to his bed.

"You have such a wonderful way with words," Shiro groaned, half-buried in his sheets. He'd been tempted to feign sleep when he heard the tell-tale blinking sound, but Clarice knew him too well to be fooled by that. Or at least he thought she did. He wasn't sure now what anyone really knew about him, because he didn't think he really knew himself.

"Here," she put two large plastic sports bottles next to his bed and sat down, her bare feet on his blanket, "The white one is full of water and the blue one has gatorade."

He didn't dare beckon for me to sit closer, maybe warm him up a little (in a totally non-innuendo way, thank you). But her bluntness, thought not unusual, had him on edge, and he half-expected her to start yelling at him. There hadn't been enough of that, in his opinion. Generic Xavier-brand slaps on the wrist. He sighed and nodded at her. "Thank you," was all he said.

"Don't thank me. I took patched you up enough to get you to the medlab after they were done," she said, leaning back in the chair. She was strangely calm. "I've been thinking though, at school."

She paused, sat up properly in the chair, "I thought a lot. About you. About me. About Xavier's. A lot of things. And you know what I decided?"

"I was out of my mind," Shiro said softly, his voice filled to the brink with self-loathing. "I attacked Scott and Marie and Logan. I don't know what I would have done to you. I don't even want to think about." It was hard to bring himself to meet her eyes, and he only managed to for a couple seconds before he looked away.

Clarice nodded, "I'm sure. Or what I would have done to you. I've always been more ruthless than you. But it's better this way," she stood up slowly, gently turning his face towards hers and giving him a brief kiss, "Goodbye."

"More ruthless than me?" Shiro repeated through gritted teeth. He wanted to stop her and throttle her at the same time, so he kept himself seated in his bed. Though he managed to finally look up at her, his eyes glistening but not wet. "Why are you doing this? I thought you loved me." Nevermind that he'd never once managed to bring himself to say those words back to her.

"Love?" Clarice turned from the doorway, she was going to walk out with her head high and would not let him see her cry. "You talk about love now? Now it's too late. I do love you, Shiro, but you don't love me. Maybe you did, but it doesn't matter now. Don't pretend like you had no idea it was coming. We've spent more time fighting than not."

The water in the glass by Shiro's bed started to steam. "So just like that? A year-and-a-half is only worth a 'goodbye'?" He bit his lip to keep it from trembling. He'd gone from pissed to pitiful in three seconds. Must be a new record. "Now that you know I'm a junkie, you drop me without any remorse?"

"That's right," she spat, angry. That he was a junkie had everything to do with this, but she certainly felt like the queen bitch. He wasn't going to listen to reason, only what he wanted to hear, "What the hell possessed you to think I'd be okay with this? That I'd forgive you? You helped teach me to respect myself, yet you don't respect yourself. That is pathetic. Take a long hard look at yourself, do you like what you see? I can live with being a bitch, but I can't live with betraying myself."

Shiro climbed out of bed, his feet unsteady and his head swimming. "I did it for you!" he shouted. He didn't care what Tommy or anyone else heard. "For you and Cyclops and Storm and Wolverine and all of fucking San Diego! Do you think that I could have stopped that leftover tsunami on my own? People would have died if I had not Kicked. And finding Cyclops when he was kidnapped . . . Rogue and I would not have been able to handle half-a-dozen other junkies on our own if one of us had not joined them."

"So the ends justify the means? Is that it?" Clarice opened the door, "Get your head together and get off drugs, Shiro. Learn to respect yourself."

Clarice closed the door behind her.