Log: Logan and Marie - Late Nights at the Gazebo

[x-wolverine.livejournal.com]

Logan's been avoiding people, and Marie finally decides to talk to him about Crystal. They get co-dependent to a degree, and Logan resolves to discharge his giri in an acceptable manner. Set Friday night.



Logan sat alone in the gazebo, feet up on the rail, lazy trail of smoke from his cigar pooling over his head. The mood in the Mansion was ugly - lots of fear, a disgusting amount of satisfaction from Cain, and a strong undercurrent of pity. He didn't care for it one whit, so he was spending as much time as he possibly could outdoors, where things were cleaner. More honest. And out here he could focus his sharp hearing on the musical noise of crickets and birds rather than the whispers in the dark.

Marie approached silently, though she knew he'd sense her coming. She felt the cool metal of the dogtags he'd given her so long ago, tucked carefully under her shirt. She couldn't remember the last time she'd worn them, but it had seemed fitting somehow. Settling onto the bench beside him, she clasped her hands tightly in her lap. Slowly, she laid her head down on his shoulder.

Logan didn't flinch at her touch, but it was a close thing indeed. "Hey, kid." he said in as close to his normal tones as he was capable of reaching. "It's late." he pointed out after another drag on his cigar.

"Couldn't sleep," she said, watching the smoke he blew out drift upwards. "And Ah worry about you." Her words were soft and quiet, gentle despite the emotion building up inside her.

Logan snorted in amusement at that, and let the silence grow for a few moments before speaking. "I'll survive." he said after those long moments. "It's what I do."

"Doesn't stop me from worrying," she said. "Ah...Ah thought you might leave." Her voice didn't tremble when she spoke, though it threatened to.

"Thinkin' about it." he admitted. "Not much for me here now 'sides you." he told her. "Thinkin' about heading north again, maybe get a little place in the woods. Quiet and peaceful. Haven't decided yet."

She opened her mouth to say don't, stopping herself before the word was formed. It wasn't her right to hold him here. "Oh," was all she allowed herself to finally say. Unconsciously her hand rose, clenching around the dogtags through her shirt. "Ah don't want you to go," she added.

Logan actually cracked a smile at that. "Thanks, kid." he said, then leaned back to stare at the ceiling of the gazebo. "Lots of folks would argue with you. Want me gone and all that." he added. "And it pisses me off."

"Lots of folks don't know you like Ah know you." She lifted her head and turned to face him. "Ah know the good that's inside you."

Logan just nodded to that. "She takes a swing at me, sucks the air out of my lungs, hits me with lightning, and then blows me through a door. I could have killed her easily but I didn't. And _I'm_ the bad guy here?" he groused.

The sounds of the crickets filled the silence as Marie thought about what he had said and how she could begin to respond. "Ah don't think either of you were right," she finally said with a sigh. "Ah wish that one of you had talked about the problem with a neutral party first, before it blew out of control..." she drifted off, a sad smile on her face. "And if wishes were horses..."

Logan frowned a little bit as the expression went right over his head, but he caught the gist from context. "No, you know what burns me the most? It's not Crystal - she's not worth wasting much thought on. It's Kyle. I had giri towards him, and I blew it. I was supposed to be the role model, the example. Fucked that one right up." he said flatly.

Marie didn't try to argue with him - they both knew he had messed up and trying to say otherwise would be foolish. "You can still fix that. Model the next steps...how you pick yourself up from this and don't let it happen again." How you stop running from your problems. "What you do next, it matters Logan."

Logan nodded as he thought it over. "Maybe." he agreed guardedly. "Pisses me off, Marie. Her, her sister, the whole thing. It reeks of bullshit, and she just walks all over everything that matters." he grumbled. "Makes me want to go apply a little real pain, teach her how the real world works."

Marie turned away slightly and wrapped her arms tightly around herself, trying to hide her disappointment. "Because violence worked so well for you the last time. Is that the model you want to be for Kyle? When someone rubs you the wrong way you hurt them to teach them a lesson?"

Logan snorted in amusement. "You're too damned easy, Marie." he said. "And I said I thought about it. Didn't say I was gonna do it." he added. "I'm a shitty role model."

Large doe eyes turned towards him. "Don't say that about yourself. It's not true." She didn't relax her arms and a shiver ran through her body. "They're just kids, y'know?"

Logan snorted. "It isn't?" he said. "Kid, you don't have to lie to me." he said flatly. "I liked teachin' that class. I liked it a lot." he said. "Gave meaning to what Bill Stryker turned me into. Now? Just another psycho with claws."

"You still have meaning Logan. We'll...we'll find you something else to prove it to yourself. Don't know why you need more proof...everything you've already done..." for me. Her words had a plaintive note to them.

"I got nothin' but what I've done since I cut and run." he pointed out. "That's the only measure by which I can be judged. And while pullin' little Southern girls out of greasy trucker dive bars is one thing, I got a bad habit of cuttin' squadmates, flipping out, and now trying to shut down a student hell-bent on killin' me." he said. "And worst of all, there's a kid _just like me_ in there."

"Then show him what to do when you mess up. Because he will. We all do." Her voice grew softer, though she knew he'd hear her clearly. "Messin' up and leaving is the easy way out. Messin' up and sticking around to pick up the pieces? That's the real challenge." She didn't touch his reasons, not yet.

"In the old days, people who screwed up as badly as I have opened their bellies to remove the shame." he said. "I don't have that out. But you're right, I do have to try to make this right." he said with a sigh. "Somehow."

"In the old days most of us would have been stoned for what we are." Slowly releasing her arms from their tense position, she tentatively reached a hand out towards him. "You will make this right. Ah know that about you." Because Ah believe in you. Please don't take that away from me.

Logan didn't answer, but he did reach over and take her hand in both of his. Then he gave her one of his very rare smiles.

She smiled back, her first real one since she'd talked to Crystal. Maybe things wouldn't be as bad as she'd thought. If he stayed, she could pull herself back together. He'd need her to.