Shiro & Forge, Tuesday evening

[x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com]

While updating campus security, Forge runs into Shiro, and gets a glimpse into the ronin's psyche.


Shiro sat by the stump of what used to be a willow tree. Since blowing it up, he'd decided to claim it as his personal meditation spot, in part to remind him of what could and would happen if he didn't work hard to regain control. At least today had been a fire-free day and his clothes were intact.

But inner peace was hard to come by when children were running around screaming, and people with big feet were crunching fallen leaves. Maybe if he blew up again, they'd all go away.

Knit cap jammed on his head, Forge shuffled along the treeline, occasionally cursing as a fallen leaf would get caught in the workings of his prosthetic foot. Next time, he swore, he'd just put TWO boots on. Checking the small scanner he held, he turned to the left, pivoting slightly until he got a reading, then saving the data to his PDA.

He kept walking forward, then blinked as the data on his scanner spiked in an unexpected pattern. Curious, he walked around a large tree to see Shiro sitting in his meditative pose. Ah, that explains it, he thought. Of course Shiro would mess up the signal from the security perimeter beacons. Would just need to triangulate around him.

Attempting to move as quietly as he could, Forge stepped backwards directly into a pile of dry leaves, the crackling and snapping of twigs sounding like fireworks in the cold October air.

Shiro's eyes snapped open at the sound. He'd thought he'd heard someone approach, the footsteps off, as if one foot were clearly heavier than the other. That meant either someone wearing a cast, or Forge. And since he didn't know of anyone in the mansion with a broken foot, he reasoned it must be the latter. "You know," he called without turning around, "You do not have to sneak away from me. I'm not rabid." Anymore.

"Didn't want to startle you," Forge said sheepishly, trying to aim the scanner around Shiro before giving up. "Just grabbing some readings from the perimeter beacons. Less foliage changes the IR signature, so I've got to recalibrate the system to compensate for that. Of course, here's this big giant infrared blob on my scanner I'm trying to triangulate around..." The consternation was evident in his voice as Forge tried to delete all the anomalous readings Shiro was producing before growling and switching the scanner over to Manual mode.

"It's a good thing for you that Alex is not here. Between the two of us, you would have to invent a whole new machine to search around us." Shiro was trying really hard to keep his tone polite, but it was frustrating to be interrupted. Plus it's Forge, and their mutual animosity - though certainly not at the level of some people he could name - was well enough known that their names were probably never used in the same sentence by anyone. Ever.

"Yeah, plus the potential for nuclear fallout," Forge said with derision, walking around the stump to reacquire the next beacon. "Always a joy to plan around."

"Keeps you on your toes, Mister Chief of Security," said Shiro, failing and slipping into an equally hostile tone.

"Yeah, because it's an absolute delight to have to have a protocol in place for the next time someone goes atomic because they felt they needed a little pick-me-up," Forge shot back, giving up and hooking the scanner on his belt. "Seriously, dude, what the hell were you thinking?"

Shiro shut his eyes and forced an inner calm before he responded. He refused to give Forge the satisfaction of knowing just how deep that question went. "Next time you have about ten seconds to save thousands of lives, you can criticize me."

"Hmm, no." Forge challenged, folding his arms defensively. "I obviously can criticize you, as proven by the simple fact that I am. I know why you did it in San Diego, and I'm not one to fault you for that. I don't need to know why you used Kick - hell, I know why. I'm just wondering why you kept it a secret if you didn't think there was anything wrong with it."

"Not for a reason that someone like you would understand." Focus on your environment, he told himself. The cool air, the Sun, the dead tree behind him and the ash underneath him. Take it in, and become one. "If you ever find yourself in the leathers - and I pray that you don't - then maybe I can tell you."

Oh, to hell with that.

Forge angrily stalked over to Shiro, pushing his shoulder. "So that's it? You think that because you put on the uniform and shoot the bad guys that you understand more than me what it's like to want to help people? Screw you, you small-minded bastard, you haven't got the first clue what it's like. You say I don't understand, make me understand! Come on, try and give me the big speech about honor and duty and see if you can do it without feeling like some giant hypocrite. Come on, Shiro, I dare you, try and pull the superiority act on me now." Forge turned his head and spat on the ground, practically shaking under his thick coat. "Or did the Kick burn the ego out of you along with your self-respect?"

The spit more than anything else had Shiro on his feet and barely an inch away from Forge. It was nice to actually be taller than someone for a change, because he wouldn't have been able to feel this imposing with anyone else. "That is exactly the point," he growled. "Duty and honor left the equation after San Diego. It was shame, you idiot. Dishonor. Disrespect."

"An outdated, archaic concept that's done nothing but hold you back and screw you over," Forge insisted, taking a step back despite himself. "You think because you hold yourself to these anachronistic samurai ideals that you can't permit even the slightest error. That doesn't make you honorable, Shiro, that makes you an asshole. God, you ought to just hook up with Crystal already, the two of you can be all perfectly codependent about what's 'unacceptable' when it comes to control."

"I didn't want anyone to know," Shiro muttered angrily, looking away from Forge. "I wanted the X-Men to think that I had done it on my own. Cyclops said he was proud of me. Do you have any idea what those little words mean coming from him? If he knew that it wasn't me . . ."

Forge opened his mouth to utter a scathing remark, then paused. Somehow, Shiro's reasoning... made sense.

"He'd have gotten you help for the Kick before it got out of control," he said quietly, "and he'd have told you that you were an idiot, and then respected you for your honesty. Hey man, hindsight's always 20/20, you know? I just..." Forge pulled his hat off his head and brushed a hand through his hair nervously. "I do think you were an idiot. I can't say whether what you did in San Diego was wrong or right. Not because it isn't my place, but because I really don't know. But I understand now."

Shiro crossed his arms over his chest and looked up, glaring at Forge. "I'm still stuck on when it became your responsibility to understand something that does not involve you in the first place."

Forge smiled wryly at that. "It's not my responsibility. I just wanted to know. I don't have to be your friend, I don't have to trust you with my life, I don't have to depend on you to get me through the day. I just didn't know why you did what you did, and now I do. Simple as that."

He raised the scanner and aimed it past Shiro, listening to it ping until it gave a steady tone. "And now I can go back to work."

"I still don't like you, either." It wasn't a pout or something childish like that. Simply a statement of fact, Shiro reminded himself as he sat back down beside his stump. He had more to meditate on now.