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[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Sunday afternoon, Alex meets Mrs. Dane and away from her husband she is quite a bit nicer. Then again, the kitchen is Lorna's territory so maybe that helped.



Softly, Alex padded down the stairs, on a journey to the kitchen. He'd just woken up from one of his many naps and after finding a pair of (dirty) socks and a t-shirt to go over his sweatpants, he decided the his growling stomach needed to be satisfied. Can't sleep when your own stomach is keeping you awake.

Janice sat at the kitchen table, a rapidly cooling mug of tea in her hands. Tears streaked her cheeks as she stared blindly out the window. She'd fled the medlab following a fight with Paul and had left him alone with Lorna. Much of his fury, she knew, came from his recent estrangement from their daughter and was directed as much at himself as it was at the school had failed them all. For her part, Janice only wanted to take Lorna where she would never be harmed again.

Alex walked through the door of the kitchen, not really expecting anyone to be in there. When he saw Mrs. Dane sitting at the table, he stopped suddenly in his tracks, like a deer caught in headlights. He knew who she was, Alex had seen her by Lorna's room when Dr. McCoy sent him back to his room. Alex took a deep breath and walked over to the refrigerator, as if he hadn't seen her yet.

Janice hastily wiped the tears from her face as the young man crossed into line of sight. She studied him as he rummaged through the refrigerator. From the looks of him, he either had too little sleep or too much. She cleared her throat quietly to let him know she was there, waiting until he’d turned around to face her to speak. “Hello.”

Standing up with a couple celery sticks in his hand, Alex turned when Mrs. Dane cleared her throat and tried to give her a small smile as he shut the door behind him. "Hello." He answered. He wasn't sure what to say next so he went to a nearby cabinet to get the jar of peanut butter, hoping to hide his unease at the situation.

Janice was impressed that he’d picked something healthy rather than going for the cookie jar on the counter or the ice cream in the freezer. (There was an appalling amount of ice cream in this house, she had determined.) She stood and took her mug of tea to the sink and rinsed it out. Because doing so brought her within a few feet of him, she offered him a weary smile. “I’m Lorna’s mother, Janice.” She extended a hand to him. “I suppose that’s probably obvious to you,” she added with a self-deprecating lilt much like her daughter’s.

Alex looked down at the jar in his hands as he unscrewed the top, but knew he couldn't avoid her forever so once he'd set the top on the counter, he turned to her, extending the hand that wasn't holding the peanut butter jar. "Lorna would be glad to know that your here." He bit his lip realizing that probably hadn't been the best thing to say. Well, they'll find out anyway... "I'm Alex..."

“Thank you,” Janice took his hand and held it while she looked him over carefully, “You’re Lorna’s Alex? I’ve heard so much about you.” Her smile was bitter-sweet. “You haven’t been down to see Lorna yet?” she asked, realizing that she really should have seen him before now.

Swallowing his nerves, or trying to, Alex nodded to her first statement. "Yes, I'm Lorna's Alex. I didn't know she'd told you about me..." He bit his lip again as she continued and his eyes fell to the floor and he dropped his hand from hers, turning away to grab the celery off the counter. "I haven't exactly been feeling well myself lately..." What was with him and the lame sayings today?

“You were all she would talk about sometimes.” Janice linked her hands loosely together, smiling at the memory. “She told me she was in love. Quite a thing for a mother to hear.” Her eyes filled with tears involuntarily and she shook her head, fighting the emotion. “I do hope you’ll come down. Lorna would want you to.”

It hurt to hear Lorna's mother talk like that, tugged right at all of Alex's heart strings. He opened his mouth to promise that he would and then make a quick exit, but instead he sat down hard on a chair at the table, tears in his eyes. "She really told you that?"

She nodded, “Of course. We’ve haven’t talked as often since...since May but when it’s something like that a girl needs her mother.” She took a seat at the table as well, twisting her hands together. “Even Paul, Lorna’s father, had to admit that you might very well be worthy of his little girl, given the way she raved. That’s an accomplishment when you consider that he wanted to send her to a convent school in Switzerland the first time she came home with a boyfriend.”

This was not what Alex needed nor wanted to hear at the moment. All of this praise from this woman he had just met was just piling onto his all ready large pile of guilt. If she knew it was him who had done this to Lorna, he doubted she would still think the same way. Unable to control himself and his snack forgotten beside him, Alex buried his head in his hands and started crying.

Janice reacted instantly, moving to sit next to Alex and wrapping her arms around him, startled by this reaction but not surprised considering she’d been doing much the same thing for the past couple of days. She held on to him silently, knowing there were times when words were an intrusion.

When he felt the arms wrap around him, Alex leaned into the embrace, needing to feel the comfort only a mother can give. A comfort he hadn't felt since he was eight years old. They sat like this for a few long moments in silence, silence Alex was grateful for. Finally, the tears stopped flowing at such a drastic rate and sniffed as he moved slightly away from Mrs. Dane. "Mrs. Dane..." He started, but his voice cracked from crying so he had to start again. "Mrs. Dane, there is something I have to tell you..."

Janice eased back and fished a tissue out of her pocket to offer to Alex, “What is it?”

He didn't even notice her offer, Alex's gaze intent on his hands that were resting before him on the table. This was Lorna's mother; she had to know. "I love Lorna, more than anything, understand that, but..." He paused to gather up his courage then looked Mrs. Dane in the eye. "It's my fault she's down there, my fault." Now he just started rambling, his gaze fallen to the table again. "I don't have any control over my power, it's not something I'm proud of I assure you. She came to find me outside when I felt it coming and I tried to warn her to get away and...it's my fault."

Janice stared at the boy in front of her in horror, clenching her fist around the tissue she’d offered him. She had thought that she would naturally hate the person responsible for hurting Lorna. Surely, anyone who could do such horrible things had to be a monster. But the boy in front of her could hardly be called such and she knew Lorna was very cautious about getting involved again with anyone who would hurt her. So... “Alex, we’ve been told over and over again since we found out that this was an accident. We...didn’t want to believe it. It was easier to blame someone but... I don’t think that person is you.” It cost her to say it.

Alex pushed the chair he was sitting in away from the table (and her) so he could draw his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them to keep his balance on the chair. Without realizing it, he rocked slightly, back and forth. "You should," he said softly, tears again pooling in the corners of his eyes. "I blame myself."

Janice sighed. She couldn’t absolve him. She still wasn’t sure she wanted to. But she did reach out to him again, kneeling on the floor beside his chair heedless of her pale cream slacks, and wrapped her arms around him. “Will you come see her?”

Alex nodded slowly, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes, then ran it through his messy blonde hair. "If you will let me."

“Please do.” She offered him the tissue again. “If you want to.”

This time, Alex took what was offered. "I want to more then anything...I just didn't know if you or Mr. Dane would want me too. She is your daughter, no matter how much I love her..."

“I’ll handle Paul.” Janice stood and regarded him solemnly. “My daughter loves you, Alex. I have no right to keep you from her.” Her jaw tightened, “But don’t ever hurt her again.”

He felt his emotions harden in defense of that statement, but Alex managed to control his voice before it came out angry. "I never intended to in the first place...ever." and I won't be here to hurt her come Christmas Eve... Sniffling, he stood also, tired and ready for another nap after his out-pouring of emotion. He grabbed the celery and jar of peanut butter. "Good night Mrs. Dane. I wish we had met under better circumstances..."


“Good night, Alex.” Janice replied wearily. She took a mug of coffee from the pot on the counter for Paul. “I hope we have a chance to get to know each other once Lorna’s better.” She left him alone in the kitchen and headed back downstairs. It seemed that no part of this would be easy.

Alex watched her go, before making his way back up stairs to his room. The celery and peanut butter were tossed aside to the night stand as he crawled back into bed, pulling the covers over his head so Shiro wouldn't see his tears when he came back.


((ooc: Yes, yes, I know, less with the logs and more with the actual posting but I'm kinda hampered here. Sue me.))