Scott and Ororo, Monday night

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

Several hours after Ororo's return home, Scott finds her in the greenhouse.


Ororo was beginning to believe the complaints about Amelia’s less-than-comforting beside manner and her unhealthy fascination with tests and needles. She had spent the last several hours in the infirmary, and after receiving a grudging dismissal from the redheaded Russian she quickly made a beeline for the calmest, most relaxing place she knew – the greenhouse. Instead of hurrying to check the plants as soon as she arrived she had sunk down on one of the benches, closing her eyes and breathing in the fresh green scent around her. She knew that Amara and Kurt would have taken good care of the plants, and right now she was still too tired and sore to do much other than sit and think. After the frantic pace of the last two weeks, it was a very nice change.

"I really need to chat to Amelia about whether it's strictly necessary to bar all visitors from the infirmary," came a voice from behind her. "At least she let me know that you were back," Scott said, coming over to sit down beside her on the bench. "And to be fair, you were apparently napping when I came down there."

Ororo opened her eyes and gave her friend a genuine, if somewhat tired, smile. "It says something that I was able to fall asleep between having my bruises poked and my blood drawn… but it was nice to be able to rest. I am sorry I did not tell you I was back sooner… this is the first spare moment I have gotten."

"That's all right. Nathan came and found me, let me know the basics of what happened." Scott gazed out at the flower boxes for a long moment. "You know that imitiation isn't always the sincere form of flattery, right?" He looked back at her with a slight smile, nothing but concern in his eye. "I'm being flippant, I'm sorry. It's just... I remember what it was like to be stuck in a situation, trying to protect someone. Someones, in your case. And you go into it with the best of intention, but you still wind up trapped."

For a moment she didn't say anything, the smile fading slowly until her expression was carefully blank. "It was... beyond my control, most of it. Everything that happened seemed to happen to us... and because of us. But we had no way to stop any of it, or change it. I did not like that feeling." Letting out a sigh, Ororo shook her head. "I am glad it is over."

"I'm glad you're back, too." Somewhat tentatively, he slid an arm around her shoulders. "I'd been trying to carry on like you were just off on some unexpected personal business - the last thing we needed was more of the kids complaining that our misfortunes make them feel unsafe. But I was so worried about you, 'Ro."

"I am so sorry," she murmured, leaning into him gratefully. "If there had been any other way... I did not want to lie to you. I did not want you to worry." She sucked in a breath as his arm slid over the stitched-up cut on her back, but didn't pull away. "I am sorry."

He caught the wince, and readjusted. "Don't ever apologize," he said quietly. "I'm just so grateful that you're back in one piece - more or less. You don't need to spare a thought about the rest of it." He smiled a bit, hesitantly. "I knew you would get back in one piece," he said more softly.

Ororo chuckled dryly. "I did not. There was a point..." She shook her head before she went any further, and smiled instead. "We must be tougher than we look."

"Well, I know you are..." It wasn't quite a joke. "I suppose it's my turn, now, to tell you that whatever time you need to take, you should go ahead and do that."

"No," Ororo said immediately. "I do not need any time... the sooner I can get back into my old routine, the better. I would like very much just to put that behind me and be headmistress and team leader again."

"And if you want to do that," Scott said, "I'm just as good with that." His arm tightened just a little, in a half-hug. "I mean, you didn't come back with your mind shattered into a million tiny pieces, like someone you know... I sure as hell don't have any doubts about your ability to do your job in the way of all this. Neither does Charles."

She nodded, sitting quietly and mulling over his words for a little bit. When she looked back at him, her eyes were miles away. "Scott... how much can a person change? From who or what they were? It is even possible to do so, really?" She knew the question was silly and more suited to a teenager's diary than the open air between them, but still she couldn't get it out of her mind.

"I think..." Scott was very quiet for a moment. "I think it's possible. If you really want to change..." He looked down at her, uncertainly. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I... sometimes feel I haven't changed very much at all." Ororo's smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "From the street urchin I once was. She is still there, and what she wants is not at all what I should want."

"... so, you know, is the teenage delinquent who saw stealing cars and getting into fights as the pinnacle of his existence," Scott said after a moment. "I don't think we lose our younger selves, Ororo. I think we carry them with us."

"Yes, but. I know what I did was wrong. I should not want to do it again. And yet..."

"But it's... familiar. Right?" Scott ventured after a moment. "There's a part of you that does that sort of thing, and... it feels like home, in a sense." Only his memory of earlier conversations on this subject with her let him offer even that much.

Ororo gave a reluctant nod at this, settling back against him. "Perhaps that is it," she said, pursing her lips. "Although when I was away, all I could think about was coming back here. Seeing the greenhouse, the students, my friends... not having to listen to Remy snore." She had the decency to look a little embarrassed at that, though her smile grew.

"Oh, God, brain-bleach, now..." Scott murmured.

"We did not have enough for two rooms! Money was very tight."

"I'm teasing, 'Ro." He rubbed her shoulder gently. "Maybe you should hold to the fact that you wanted to come back," he said after a moment. "However much a part of you enjoyed some of the things that you were doing... you said, all you could think of was being back here."

"Yes... if only to see what new insanity has cropped up. I will attempt to read over the journals this afternoon, perhaps, but is there anything I should be forewarned about? Long-lost parents, disappearances, dragon visitations?"

Scott shook his head. "It's been quiet, largely. Thankfully." He didn't take his arm away from around her shoulders. She seemed perfectly content to have him leave it there. "And they bought it, by the way - that you were away on personal business. If you don't walk around moving like someone beat you with sticks, it's entirely possible that you won't get any students demanding to know what happened."

"Oh, how nice that would be," she said wistfully. "Because I do not think there is any way I could explain it to their satisfaction. I suppose it is lucky the black eye went away - less explaining to do." She turned to smile at him, looking more herself than she had before. The lines of worry had begun to fade, at least, and her expression was calmer. "Thank you, Scott. I did not want to leave everything on you, but... I knew you would be able to manage."

"Hey, that's why there are two of us, remember? To pick up the slack when the other gets kidnapped, otherwise shanghaied, or winds up with food poisoning." He grinned suddenly. "And Charles helped, of course." He leaned forward, without really thinking, and kissed her forehead, just briefly. The sort of kiss an older brother might give a sister. "And if you should decide you need to hit things, I'm trying to get back into the hand-to-hand swing of things. I make a very good punching bag."

"As soon as I can stop pretending that I am not about to fall apart at the seams, I will certainly want to take you up on that," she told him with a mirroring grin. "You always were the best partner."

"You flatter me. Keep doing it?"

"Always."

Scott just smiled, not responding, but putting both arms around her in a proper, if careful hug. "You're okay," he said quietly. It meant a lot of things. 'You are going to be okay' and 'Despite what you're worried about, what you did is okay' and 'I love you and it's okay', all at once.

And this is what I missed most of all, Ororo thought, one moment before resting her cheek on her shoulder and returning the hug. This is home.