xp_logs | Medusa and Nathan, Monday afternoon

Medusa talks with Nathan while work…I mean volunteering in the Elpis office. The conversation ranges from her issues with telepathy to Nathan’s past. Nathan actually manages to get her to start rethinking some of her core beliefs.

Medusa pursed her lips as she scanned through the news feed, a pen wrapped in a red strand scribbling notes quickly as she went. It wasn’t much different than when she reviewed the news sources back home to stay aware of world events, except that in the Elpis office she had access to more sources from a variety of countries. Nothing intensely pressing was catching her eye, but there were a few pieces that seemed worth paying attention to in order to see how they developed. Reaching a stopping point, she laid the pen down and gathered up her notes as she rose to take them to Nathan.

Nathan, deeply engrossed in what was displayed on his computer screen, still looked up as she approached. "Anything interesting?" he asked with a smile.

“A city in Belize awarded a mutant girl an award for rescuing a family from a burning building,” Medusa said with a smile. “A few other small matters, but I took notes on them all for Juliette to enter into the database.”

"Ooh, good news," Nathan said, his smile growing. "I like that type of news much better than what we usually see... even if it leaves us with nothing to do."

“The day there is nothing left for Elpis to do is a good day,” Medusa said sincerely. “Though I imagine you and Angelo would not what to do with yourselves.” While all the Elpis employees struck Medusa as dedicated, something about those two made her feel that they needed Elpis as much as Elpis needed them.

"You know, you may be right." Nathan inclined his head at the computer screen. "Email from Oman. They're not wasting any time - they want our medical assessment team set-up and ready to go by the end of the week. I was just reading over Moira's suggestion for a team leader - seems like a very decent guy, and a talented doctor. Apparently he's coming off a stint with Doctors Without Borders in Chechnya and could do with an assignment someplace where things don't generally blow up."

Medusa let out a bit of a laugh. “Yes, I am sure that would be a nice change of pace. You know,” she continued, turning thoughtful. “It is great that Oman is being so open and inviting of our aid. I had expected us to run into more roadblocks, based on how others in the region seemed to react to our overtures.”

"They're a remarkable culture, really," Nathan said. "I've been doing research. They seem to have managed to hold onto their traditions, yet keep an eye to the future as well. It's a rare combination in any part of the world." He shook his head thoughtfully, thinking about the ambassador. "Their UN ambassador was rather accepting of me as a telepath, as well."

It was only Medusa’s extensive training that kept her from visibly reacting to Nathan’s remark. “I see.” And just how did he come to be aware of that? “That is rather unusual. It is fortunate that he did not allow it to dissuade him from accepting our assistance.”

"Well, I was honest with him," Nathan said, "and I think he appreciated that." He shrugged, and tried to explain. "We were talking about what had drawn us all to mutant rights issues - I think he was trying to get our measure. Joel talked about his daughter, Angelo's a visible mutant... I thought, when it was my turn, that it was best to be forthright. By not mentioning it, I've had it used against me before, by people who thought that it meant I had something to hide."

“Yes, I can see how it would be a dangerous secret if someone found out about it through another channel.” Sitting down in the chair across from Nathan, she watched him carefully. “Being a telepath cannot be easy.”

Nathan tilted his head, remembering her reaction in Smichov, and wondering... "Why?" he asked, then raised a hand. "I'm not saying I disagree with you. I'm just wondering why you say that. What your reasoning is." He smiled a bit tiredly. "Call it me trying to see through your eyes in a figurative sense, instead of the literal."

Medusa tensed a bit and if hadn’t been in control, a look of discomfort would have flashed over her face. Instead, her hair merely shifted into a mildly agitated pattern. “It is not easy being a mutant in general,” she started slowly. “Even for those of us from loving homes. We are told that we are different, that we must be aware when in public about how others will view us. That how we chose to use our abilities may impact how others view all mutants, not just ourselves.” She paused, looking to Nathan for a reaction though she had barely scratched the surface of his question.

"But you didn't say 'Being a mutant cannot be easy'," Nathan pointed out.

“No I did not,” she said with a sigh. “Telepaths are often not trusted even amongst their mutant brethren.” Green eyes locked on gray ones. “There is the concern that they can force others to do their will or alter another’s thoughts.”

"Which they can, of course." If Nathan's voice was a trifle cool, it wasn't really directed at Medusa. "Very easily, as a matter of fact, depending on the mind involved. Even someone with solid training in defending their thoughts is out of luck if the telepath is strong enough. The best shields a non-psi can muster still make it a matter of when they're breached, not if."

“A lesson my defense teacher drilled into me time and again.” As well as the warning of what her options would be should she realize that was happening, though she hoped she would never be in a situation that would force her to utilize any of them. Medusa was well aware that her shields served mostly as an alarm system of sorts to make her aware if another was trying to invade her mind. “Abilities come with responsibilities and it is all too often that people fail to see that. But with most non-psionic mutations, one can at least witness and defend against an unethical application of power.”

"Hence why I told the ambassador that I was a telepath. It may not level the playing field, but at least it's an acknowledgement. I think," Nathan said, "I'll be doing that more often, not less. I know that some people won't want to sit down and talk to me - they'll take it as me flaunting the fact that I could read their minds, or trying to distract them from the fact that I am. But better that, than go on ashamed of what I am."

“I can admire that sentiment, though I worry about the repurcussions of such a decision,” Medusa replied. “I hope you realize Nathan that I do like and respect you.” The corner of one lip twitched slightly. “And I do not mean there to be a ‘despite the fact that you are a telepath’ attached to that. But I will not lie and tell you that telepathy makes me comfortable.”

Nathan smiled faintly, but there was something distant in his eyes as they shifted away from Medusa's. "It always seems vaguely ironic, to hear that from other people..."

“Oh?” she said, clasping her hands tightly in her lap. “What do you mean?”

"Well, the implicit assumption that it's ever a surprise to the telepath, to hear that." Not true, Nathan told himself, he was avoiding the central point. "Not to mention the assumption that the telepath himself is comfortable with his ability."

Medusa took a moment to reply, turning his words over in her mind. “I suppose I had not thought of that. It is not as though a person chooses to be a telepath anymore than any of us decide to have our gifts.” She uncrossed her legs and then recrossed them. “I always say how hard it is for me to imagine the lives of people who do not cherish their gifts and were not encouraged in their abilities. I am not proud that perhaps I have supported that environment for those with telepathic talents.”

"There can be... very beautiful things, about it," Nathan said, still a bit distantly. "I don't think I'll ever forget the first time I touched my children's minds... or when Rachel reached back. I'm linked to Moira, and I walk around knowing, feeling that she loves me, every moment of the day. But." Nathan trailed off, pensively.

Medusa waited patiently in the silence for the rest of what Nathan had to say, her own inner mind a jumble as she tried to make sense of her conflicting thoughts and emotions.

"It's like any power, I suppose. If you're unethical with it... the results can be a... horror." Nathan rubbed at his jaw, his gaze shifting back to Medusa. "I've known too many psis you'd call... evil. When I first came here, I remember I avoided Charles for six weeks, out of fear."

“Perhaps part of the problem is that you hear of so-called evil telepaths more frequently than those that do not abuse their power because there are no stories to tell of the latter kind,” she said, watching him cautiously.

"I think we do that to ourselves, those of us who don't abuse our power. Because people are so uncomfortable with the idea of telepathy, we tend to operate below the radar, when we do operate." He stared across the desk at her. "And please," he said much more quietly, "believe me when I say there was nothing 'so-called' about the evil done by the telepaths I'm referring to. They have... had, the deaths of hundreds of children on their hands. And those of us who lived were not necessarily the lucky ones."

She opened her mouth to reply, then closed it quickly. “I am beginning to feel that your mistrust of telepaths goes beyond imagined fears,” she said her words coming out slowly, though not hesitantly.

How to tell her without making this an hour-long tale... "When I was fourteen," Nathan said steadily, "I was turned into a soldier. Trained physically and mentally, and... conditioned, psionically. It was a combination of telepathy and empathy, and it killed about eighty percent of the children who underwent the procedure."

Medusa’s mouth opened into an uncharecteristic expression of surprise, her dismay apparent on her face, though only for a moment. “I am so sorry Nathan.” Other words failed to come to mind. What did you say to your friend when they told you of an experience that basically amounted to torture?

He really should probably tell her the rest. "That was my life, for sixteen years. I was on the run from them for another... eight, nine years, and then I came here. And we stopped them," he said just as steadily, "we meaning the team, of course. I know I told you that I broke my back last year. The mission where that happened was the one where we put an end to it. But the interesting thing," he said, and his smile was a bit crooked, "is that the telepaths and empaths involved were just tools. They weren't in charge. The vast majority of the people who were, weren't even mutants."

A lock of Medusa’s hair suddenly clenched, vaguely resembling a fist. “I cannot say I am unhappy to hear that the people who were responsible received their just desserts.” Her hair dropped, though it still appeared tense. “What happened to the others like you?”

"Those who were still children were returned to their families. Some were affected more, or less... a couple of the children are here." But Kyle and Talia's stories were theirs to tell, and he went on. "Most of those who survived to adulthood died, when we went in. Some of the survivors are in hospital, they're not..." He bit his lip, part of his distantly amazed that after over a year, it still hurt quite that much. "Their minds were damaged, when we tried to free them. There were very few who survived more or less intact... and most of them work for me, in Tel Aviv."

Medusa bowed her head for a moment and offered a prayer. Opening her eyes to look at Nathan again, she smiled sadly at him. “Perhaps I am now better able to understand your dedication to the protection of mutant rights.”

"We've gotten a little off-track, I suppose. But... I've been meaning to tell you about this for a while. It's hardly a secret around here, and I know you've been curious about some of the things I've said about my past." Nathan took a deep breath, then let it out on a sigh. "But it should tell you, too, a major reason why I still wrestle with my telepathy. I had no good role models, until I came here."

“There always seemed to be hints to something more in your past that the others seemed to have knowledge about. I…I did not want to push as you are by no means required to divulge your personal experiences or history to me.” Medusa’s hair finally settled back into its usual resting state. “But I do want you to know that it means a great deal, your decision to be open with me.”

After a moment, Nathan smiled. There was a hint of pain in his eyes, still, but also a certain amount of gratitude. "Means a lot that you listened - and not just about that. I appreciate the willingness to take a step back and look at your own reactions, when it comes to telepathy. There's always going to be a part of me, I think, that looks at what I am and sees it as something... horrible, something to be feared. Knowing that the people around me don't necessarily feel that way helps me keep that particular voice in the back of my head to a whisper."

Medusa’s smile grew a little in response. “I am not sure that this is one of the lessons my parents hoped I would learn here, but it is a valuable one. I cannot say that my mind has completely changed on the matter, but I now have much more to consider than I did before.” She looked indecisive for a moment before adding, very softly, “If it helps, I do not fear you, telepathy and all.”

"It does. Quite a bit, actually." Nathan's smile grew for a moment, and he gave a laugh that was half a sigh. "Well. Interesting topic for a quiet afternoon. It's strange, but now I'm wishing you could meet some of the others. Maybe you will at some point this year... they're rather remarkable people, my friends. They tried the quiet life, after they were free to do so, but it didn't take."

“Are they all like Domino?” Medusa asked, a fleeting thought that was a mix of amusement and dread passing through her mind at the idea.

"No, Dom's more or less unique..."