xp_logs | Nathan and Julio, Tuesday afternoon

Nathan and Julio run into each other between classes, and talk a little. It's somewhat awkward, and not necessarily for the reasons Nate thinks.

It was hard to believe that this was the last batch of Russian composition papers he'd be marking this term, Nathan reflected, shifting the pile of papers in the crook of his arm as he stepped out of the empty classroom, closing the door behind him. It appeared that all of his students had handed in the papers and fled, which probably wasn't a good sign.

Julio, on the other hand, was coming down the opposite end of the hallway and fishing in his backpack for his calculator. He must have left it behind in Algebra again. He almost didn't see Nathan until he barely avoided running into him. "Sorry," he said distractedly.

"Careful, Julio, you don't want to be walking into walls," Nathan said good-humoredly. "What did you lose?" he asked, noting the rummaging in the backpack.

"Ah, my calculator," Julio said, zipping up the sides and irritably swinging his backpack on. He did his best to bury the resentment he still had towards the older man. Nathan could read minds, and it was hard to maintain polite distance when the other person could literally read you like an open book. "I left it behind in one of my classes, I believe."

"Pesky things, calculators," Nathan said absently, turning back around to lock the classroom door as Julio went past him. He was about to head down the hall in the other direction when he heard a doorknob rattle and saw Julio standing at the door of the classroom where algebra was held, looking frustrated. "Locked?" he asked, coming over to where the young man was standing.

"Looks like Mr. Drake was in a hurry to see his wife," Julio muttered. He shifted his backpack to the other shoulder. "Perhaps I can borrow...somebody's..." He would try to borrow Kyle's, but Kyle was twitchy about his stuff.

"Hold on." Nathan laid his hand on the doorknob and concentrated briefly. There was an audible click, then he opened the door. "I'm better than a skeleton key," he said wryly.

Julio was barely able to supress hs jump at the click. Right, duh. He mentally chided himself, and slipped into the classroom, going over to the chair in the corner where he normally sat. The calculator was where he'd left it, on the window. "Found it," he called out rhetorically, holding it up before shoving it into his backpack. "Thank you," he added, while zipping it closed.

"Not a problem," Nathan said, leaning against the doorframe. "So this is a math classroom. I like my decor better." He smiled at Julio, to emphasize that he was kidding - but hesitated at the lack of response he got, the smile fading to a frown.

"It is a classroom," Julio shrugged. "They all look the same to me," he shouldered his backpack and walked over to the door. He paused, and the silence threatened to become awkward. "Again, thank you," he said, somewhat quickly.

Nathan's frown deepened. "Julio... what's wrong?" The implications of what he'd just said hit him the moment the words were out of his mouth, and he grimaced. "I'm sorry. I'm not reading your mind - there was just this look on your face for a second..."

"Nothing," Julio said a touch too quickly. He winced. "I am fine, you know." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Thank you for asking."

Don't go poking, Dayspring. "You're welcome," Nathan said, shifting out of the doorway so that Julio didn't feel like he was being kept in the room, "although I'm not sure I buy that. I do the 'I'm fine' thing too, and I'm usually lying through my teeth."

The boy waved a hand dismissively. "Then you know what I am thinking, I am not fine. But it is not any different than any other day." His tone was carefully neutral. "I am fine for now. I am not throwing chairs or breaking windows, so it is a good day."

"Mmm." Nathan shifted farther out of the doorway. "I should lock this again, behind us," he said. "Have you thought of the punching bag, instead of chairs and windows?"

"Sometimes it just slips." Julio said, a touch defensively. The anger would come on all of the sudden, usually with very little warning. It didn't matter how fast he ran or how he let his frustration out in other "productive" ways, it still happened. Samson said it was normal, at least.

"I am getting better."

"If it slips on the punching bag, at least Cain doesn't make you clean up the glass afterwards. The sand, sometimes, if you kill the punching bag." Nathan laughed quietly as he fiddled with the lock on the door. "I did that once. Was whaling on it, let slip with the TK, and suddenly there was sand and bits of leather flying everywhere."

Julio snorted and smiled politely. "But it was easy to clean up with your brain, no?" It was small talk, and feeble at that. He really didn't want to talk to Nate, still didn't have anything he felt was worth saying to the man, especially since July.

Julio's mind was noticeably more disciplined than it had been in July - Nathan knew he'd been training with Charles. He wasn't letting much slip, but Nathan, observing passively, got a sense of unsettled thoughts that matched the occasional breaks in the boy's facade.

"I had to make sure I got every grain," he said, pulling the door shut and then testing it. Locked again. "Otherwise I never would have heard the end of it. Cain's not shy about telling you when he's irritated with you." If there was the tiniest bit of emphasis on Cain's name, it was barely noticeable.

"No, he is not." Julio agreed. There was another slight pause. Julio bit the inside of his cheek and looked at his shoes. He went through and then discarded several polite nothings before he settled on, "Your classes are well, yes?"

Nathan nodded. "Trying to decide what I'm teaching next term," he said as he turned away from the door. "Scott is limiting me to two - apparently he thought my schedule was overloaded this fall, between classes and team training and Elpis. I can't say as though I disagree."

"Yes, always someone else that needs saving," Julio said, looking past Nate down the hallway, hoping that someone would come and offer an excusable distraction.

Nathan stopped dead. "I beg your pardon?"

"What?" Julio said, eyebrows going up in surprise. "I say something wrong? You save people, yes? Part of the job description? With the Elpis and the team?" Had he really said something wrong?

Nathan frowned down at him, then shook his head. "Sorry. I thought... you were being sarcastic." He took a deep breath, then let it out again. "I knew you were angry about Smichov," he said more quietly.

Julio's jaw clenched. "I was," he said shortly. "Mr. Summers let me know that wasn't appreciated. Next time I shall keep my opinions to myself." He was also mildly embarassed about the loss of control there, but too late to do anything about it.

"I'm sorry I didn't come to talk to you about it, when we got back... I wasn't doing very well with it myself," Nathan said heavily. "We did what we could, in the middle of it all, but it wasn't nearly enough."

"Right." Julio said, and shrugged awkwardly. What would he have said if Nathan had talked to him anyway? At the end of the day, there was still a city that was still half rubble.

"No one wants you to keep your opinions to yourself, Julio," Nathan said after a moment. "If that's what you took away from that... well, don't? Please?"

"I am sorry, I just recieved a lecture from the headmaster for badmouthing the X-men. I was not sure what other intention there was?" He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled. "My suitemate as well."

Nathan looked away, trying to gather the right words. "Do you think," he said after a moment, "that the members of the team who were stuck here weren't feeling just as frustrated, and just as helpless, as you and Marius and any of the other students? My guess would be that they were more so, because we're used to being able to intervene in these situations." He looked back down at Julio, a hint of something close to shame in his gray eyes. "I say it was hard for those of us who were there, and it was, but at least we could help. We saved lives, helped people get away from the fighting. It's a privilege Scott and the others didn't get."

Again, the boy shrugged. "Like I have been told, I was not there." He said, tiredly. "I understand, all right?" He cracked his knuckles and sighed.

"It doesn't matter that you weren't there. Literally... it makes no difference at all. If I told you that you couldn't have an opinion about something you hadn't directly experienced... well, I'd be a hypocrite." He offered Julio a faint smile. "This is just me being a hypocrite by encouraging you to see the situation through different eyes. I'm aware of the irony."

"And I said, I understand. I am not stupid." Julio pinched the bridge of his nose. "Some things you cannot stop. Again, I know."

"You know... I goaded Angelo into hitting me, once. Did him a lot of good. Unfortunately, I've gotten old since then," Nathan said, then shook his head. "Look, I'm not going to poke at you. I just wish..." He paused, shaking his head again with a rueful little smile. "We don't actually know each other all that well. I've known your father for a long time, though, and I made him a promise when I headed down there to pick you up. I don't feel like I'm keeping it very well."

No, you are not Julio thought, guardedly. Out loud, he offered, "I do not know what else there is to do, you are busy. I am busy." He shrugged, adjusting his backpack again. "This is sometimes just how things work, no?"

"I'd like to do better," Nathan said, not breaking eye contact.

Julio was the first to break eye contact, looking past Nathan down the hall, and perhaps at something even farther than that. "Yes," he said, and then looked back at Nathan. 'Perhaps."

Well, that was an enigmatic answer to beat all enigmatic answers. Ironic, given how straightforward Luis tended to be. Of course, Luis had never been used as a weapon by a maniac to kill hundreds of people.

Nathan thought about it for a moment. "I spend an hour in the gym Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, with the punching bag," he said after a moment. "Usually just after dinner. If you're interested in trying something new, you can meet me there. Anytime." He stepped around Julio, pausing to smile a bit down at the boy. "If not," he said lightly, "we can try something else."

This time Julio gave Nathan a small smile. "I shall try, then." If he wasn't busy with other things, that is. "I should go, I shall be late for class." He checked his cellphone for the time. "No, I am late. Again." He cursed under his breath.

"Hold on." Nathan pulled out a blank piece of paper from the pile, scrawling down a quick note to explain Julio's absence. "There," he said, handing it over. "As it is my fault."

"Gracias," Julio said, accepting the note. "It is my fault for forgetting the calculator, but this also works." He shoved his cellphone back in his pocket and took off down the hall. "See you later," he called over his shoulder.

"I hope so," Nathan murmured to himself, then turned and headed towards his office.