xp_logs | Angelo and Marie, backdated

At the Winter Ball, Marie and Angelo have a chat about exactly why he thought calling Logan out was a good idea. Among other things.

He'd have hesitated to chaperone, as bruised as he was, but he'd already said he'd do it, and it wasn't as if many of the mansion's adults weren't bruised, today. So Angelo was at the Winter Ball instead of nursing his wounds in his room, standing by the buffet table and keeping an eye on the room. He caught sight of Marie heading his way, and gave her a nod and a careful smile. Limited facial expressions were good.

Taking a plate, Marie began placing an assortment of food on it. "Ah'm surprised to see you up and about today," she said as casually as possible. "Figured you'd be lying in a bathtub of ice."

"That was last night", he said would-be lightly. "An' I promised I'd help out here, so... here I am."

"You know if you're hurtin', we'd find a way to manage." She glanced at her friend and shook her head. "Logan? Seriously? Did any part of you think you were gonna win that?"

"Win? Not for a second." He looked back at her, and managed a rueful grin. "I'd've just been happy with lastin' as long as I could an' walkin' away at the end. An' that part, I got."

"Ah don't know if Ah'd call the shuffle you managed out of the ring walking," Marie said with a quirked eyebrow. "So...do you feel better now?"

"Better than bein' carried. An' as far as it goes, yeah, I do. Had a little talk with Nathan after, as well."

"Oh? Did you two talk about what it feels like to get pummeled?" Gesturing over to a table, Marie continued talking as they walked. "And please tell me you don't plan to make a habit of copying everything that Nate does."

"Hey", he protested. "That wasn't what this was about. You ask Logan, sometime, what he said to me after I took over the self-defence class."

Marie sighed as she sat down. "Logan...often speaks first, thinks much much later." Stabbing a meatball wih her fork, she let out another sigh. "And just why won't you tell me yourself?"

He shrugged. "Maybe I just want to know what he'll say if you do ask. But it was somethin' along the lines of all the kids in the class bein' second-rate an' how if I fucked it up, I'd have got them all killed."

"Well," she said cautiously, "as we haven't had an invasion in a while, Ah'd doubt the second part of that statement." Taking a small bite of the meatball, she thought as she chewed. "Logan took getting taken off that class really hard...Ah think he was mostly lashing out at all available targets."

"Yeah, 'cause it's totally my fault I was one of the few people around who wasn't already teachin' two or three classes", Angelo said flatly.

"Ah never said it was your fault," she said, an edge of hurt creeping into her voice. She wished all her friends would get along, but with a friend like Logan, she knew that was pretty much out of the question.

"No, you didn't", he said, almost apologetically. "But I've gotta wonder why I got that. Lorna teaches the class too."

She snorted. "Because you are a safer target? Lorna and Logan...well, think about it, Skin."

"Yeah, but why does he think I'm a safer target?" This had been nagging at him for a while. "Yeah, I can't pick him up by his bones just by thinkin' about it, but... anyway, that was the point."

"Ok, being unable to immobilize Logan with a thought kinda places you as safer," Marie pointed out. "What but is there about that?"

"Is that what everybody thinks of me now, Marie?" he said, looking straight at her. "Not that I can't do what Lorna does, I mean, that's just obvious... that I'm goin' soft? That you can say whatever the hell you want to me, outside of my job where I have to take it, an' I won't even try an' hit back?"

"Not hitting back doesn't make you soft. In fact, it makes you strong," she said, reaching out to place a silk gloved hand on his arm. Her words were urgent as her eyes searched his face, looking for understanding. "One person said these things to you and you're now doubting yourself? That just doesn't seem like you."

He laughed a little at that. "Doesn't seem like me? Marie, what 'me' have you known these last three years? 's true I haven't half as much since Elpis, but now... Elpis isn't the only thing in my life anymore. If I'm on the team... an' even with Elpis we run into trouble sometimes. Like Smichov."

"What you do Ah know?" Marie tapped her own skull, a wry smile on her face. "The real you. Ah know things changed for you while Ah was away, but..." she stopped as she shrugged.

"That was a long time ago", he said quietly. "An' yeah, some things've changed. Funny thing is, if that kid hadn't been crazy, he might actually've done better on the action side of things..."

"Crazy sometimes contributes to the action," she replied, the wry smile staying on her face. "Ah've seen your tapes in the DR. No one should be calling you a lightweight. You've been figuring out some great applications of your powers and your hand to hand is pretty good. You obviously haven't been just sitting on a bench with all the Elpis stuff."

"But I could still be better", was the simple answer. "I could always be better. An' if I'm goin' to be out there with the team, which I am..."

"We could all always be better," Marie replied. "That's why we train. To improve. Schedule more time in the DR, take lessons outside to round out your skills, whatever makes you feel better."

"I don't know what would. Maybe all of it. Maybe I need to go hit up Sarah for some real sparrin' again, when the bruises heal up."

"There's never a shortage of sparring partners here," she said. "Though Sarah definitely could teach you...heck, almost anybody, a trick or two." Laying down her fork, she clasped her hands together in her lap. "Ah still can't help feel like there's something else that's bothering, somethin' else that made you start thinking this way besides Logan putting his foot in his mouth."

Angelo shrugged slightly. "Maybe that was just the last straw. An' that doesn't mean anybody else said anythin', before you think it. Just me."

"We are always our own worst enemies," she said. "But if you really sat down and added up all the good you do, Ah think you'd start doubting less."

"I never thought I don't do good stuff", he said quickly. "I just don't want... to get into a team situation an' not be able to help the way I should 'cause I've been behind a desk too long."

"Again, that's where the training part comes in," Marie said with a shrug. "And when it comes right down to it, you might just surprise yourself."

That got a rueful grin. "Might be. An' you're right, I never used to worry about this stuff. 'cause I knew it wouldn't be a problem, back then."

"But you also can't expect to be perfect," she cautioned. "We all make mistakes. Take a look at some of the mission files. The key is bouncing back from them when they happen and learning what to do the next time."

He nodded. "See, it's not makin' mistakes I'm worried about. I know that'll happen. It's... lettin' the side down."

Instead of replying, Marie scooted her chair closer to Angelo's and gave him a hug.

Angelo just smiled crookedly and hugged her back, careful to avoid her bare skin but otherwise not hesitating.

"Do your best and you won't be letting anyone down," she said as she pulled back to look in his eyes.

"I guess. Just got to work at it more so I can do my best."

"Then that's exactly what you'll do," Marie said confidently. "Bet you never expected to excel at the Elpis stuff and look at how that's gone."

"Yeah." This was probably something he'd have to figure out for himself, but the pep talk did seem to be helping a bit. "Anyway... you're done eatin', right? Want to go dance?"

"Ah'd love to," Marie said, rising to take his hand wih her silk clad one.