Amanda and Crystal - Last Piece of the Puzzle

[x-aerial.livejournal.com]

Amanda is already at the bus when Crystal makes her early return. Having already figured out how Kurt made such a complete and speedy recovery, Crystal decides to let Amanda know that she knows. Now Amanda knows that Crystal knows, and Crystal knows that Amanda knows that Crystal knows and it's 1 AM and I'm tired.



It was Amanda's habit to go back to the mini-bus half an hour before the arranged meeting time, in order to make sure everything was running all right and to catch any early returnees. So it was she was sitting in the open side door of the bus, flipping through some of Charlie's old notes on her power, when Crystal made her way back.

This was only Crystal's second-time on the bus run, having gone only the first weekend it started. That first week, she had been quite interested in it, and had been trying hard to be excited about being at the mansion. That was before Forge tossed her concern about Jennie to Scott instead of speaking to her himself, before Medusa was forced to come to the mansion and received her unwelcome greetings, before Jennie came back severely underweight, silently drowning in whatever had happened to her over the summer, before she had realized that nothing she could do would matter to Logan, before... well, before everything.

Now it was a new year, a new class term, and she figured she'd give it another try. She hadn't really jetted off to Attilan all of the time as Forge thought she did, but she hadn't stayed at the mansion for a weekend in quite some time. She'd been away from the mansion for a week and a half, teleporting to Silver on New Year's Eve and teleporting back out a few hours later, returning again the day before classes started.

"Hello, Amanda," Crystal said with a smile as she caught sight of the figure sitting in the doorway of the bus. Amanda was one of the few people Crystal had met since arriving at the mansion that she trusted. She was quite free with her use of language, true, but Crystal had come to realize that Amanda didn't mean anything harmful by it, that was just her way. Crystal didn't have to like it or agree with it, but she accepted it as a cultural difference.

"Hey, Crystal." Amanda looked up at the other girl with a smile. "Enjoy your day in the city? 'S been a while since you've joined my motley bus crew. 'S good to see you."

Crystal nodded. "Yes I did, thank you. I visited other cities on previous weekends, but I thought it would be a good idea to stay sometimes and go on the bus trips in order to experience New York."

"It's not a bad old place," Amanda said, almost fondly. Living here had gotten her rather attached to it, given her unique perspective on the place. "Not quite as glamorous as some, but it's got a good solid feel to it. Lot of energy, lot of life. You ever what the shilling tour, let me know and I'll take you 'round some of my favourite places." She grinned. "Some of 'em might even include some culture. There's this brilliant photography exhibit at the art museum next month."

"I would like that," Crystal replied. "There is much to the way of life here that I have not yet had the chance to experience, things other people take for granted but are new for me. I suppose that I'm still trying to figure out life at the mansion; there are still occurrences there, things said and not said, that don't seem to make much sense to me."

"It was the same for me when I first turned up - there was a lot I didn't get, 'cause I hadn't had the same upbringing as everyone else. 'S something people tend to forget; they don't mean any harm by it." She shrugged a little, tucking her papers back into her bag. "Anything in particular bothering you? Maybe I can shed some light?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that it's bothering me... I'm just... curious, and" silently, she took a deep breath and let it out before continuing "I believe that you are the only person capable of shedding light on this matter,"

Amanda's eyebrows went up at that. Hmm. "I'll tell you what I can," she said, mindful that there were a number of things she couldn't say, since they were other people's secrets. "What's up?"

"I know that your brother seriously hurt himself while teleporting," Crystal said softly in a non-accusatory tone, looking Amanda in the eyes. "I know how bad the external damage must have been, and I know that you healed him. What I don't know is why what you did to save your brother is being kept as a big secret. He needed your help and you gave it; I don't see anything wrong with that."

Shite. It was all out there, Amanda supposed, for someone to put together, if they were enterprising enough. But it didn't mean she was any the less taken by surprise. With a slight sigh, she shuffled over in the doorway, making room for Crystal. "Have a seat," she said, patting the spot beside her.

Giving Amanda a slight nod, Crystal sat down next to Amanda. So far so good. The information needed to put things together was there if only you paid attention to what people told you, what you read, and what you observed. A puzzle wasn't complete if it missed even one piece, but the rest of the pieces would still fit together and form most of the picture.

"It's complicated," Amanda began after another pause, during which she desperately wished for a cigarette. "What happened to Kurt... well, that's his business. Patient confidentiality and all. But you're right. I did heal him. I didn't want it known because... well, I don't know how far back you've read in the journals, but there was some trouble last year, with me and a healing spell. I..." Amanda stopped again, trying to put the words together. "It's a secret 'cause I don't want people to know I can still do it. I freaked out too many people last time, and I don't want to put them through that again."

Crystal nodded. "You saved Remy's life. I read about what happened on the journals. It said that you... took energy, but without permission. Please, correct me if I am mistaken, but it appears to me that this time permission was asked and granted."

"You wouldn't be the first person to point that out to me this week, believe me," Amanda replied, sighing again. People just couldn't see it. "Yeah, I saved Remy's life. But the way I did it, using other people to power the spell... that wasn't always how it was. I learned that from the Black Queen of the Hellfire Club herself, and it looks like the lesson's stuck. And every time I even think about using that spell... well, it's a reminder, see? Of how much I fucked up back then, of what it cost. Of what I nearly turned myself into. Bad enough I have to remember it - I don't want everyone else doing the same. 'Specially when there's some in particular who'll see me as a threat again."

"I'm sure you've heard this, too, then, but... people make mistakes. It's what you do with that mistake, what you learn from it, that matters," Crystal began. "I don't know anything about the different ways to cast spells, but I can understand having a reminder of something you did but shouldn't have done, wouldn't have done had you given the time to think things through instead of reacting instinctively, sure that what you were doing was right and needed to be done." And now she was babbling and Amanda wouldn't know what she was talking about; Amanda couldn't know what she had done less than three months earlier.. "I can understand not wanting people to know something because you're afraid they'll perceive you as a danger and you think, if they know, all they'll see when they look at you is your mistake, even if you know that it was a mistake and you won't ever do it again."

It took a bit of concentrating to figure out Crystal's words - there were a lot shouldn'ts and wouldn'ts in there. "That's pretty much it, yeah," she said at last, eyes on the parking lot in front of them. She was curious about what it was the Lady Crystal had done that meant she understood, but she wasn't about to pry. Which led her to a question of her own. "My turn. Can I ask why you needed to know? You probably aren't the only one to figure it out, but you're the first to actually ask. What was so important about knowing?"

"I would guess that most other people who might have figured it out were probably here last year," Crystal said, wondering if anyone of the other newcomers had figured it out. "It would have been obvious to them, and they could have easily figured out the why." She shrugged lightly. "I wasn't here then. I didn't know the exact details or anything about being taught to use people to power spells. I knew that you did what you felt you needed to do at the time, and people were very upset, but the school lets you drive a busload of students, and while I won't say that I always agree with the decisions the school makes as to who they entrust with the safety of the students, the students themselves seem to feel comfortable and safe going into the city with you week after week on a voluntary basis."

This last jerked Amanda's glance back to Crystal, the witch's face colouring a little. "Um. Thanks. Thanks a lot," she stammered, taken by surprise. And absurdly pleased at the praise. She glanced at her watch, covering her sudden embarrassment. "Looks like the rest'll turn up soon - or they will if they don't want me calling in Remy to find 'em. Might want to grab a good seat before they descend."

Crystal grinned a bit. "You're welcome," she said as she stood up. "And thank you for being honest. It means a lot to me." With another smile, Crystal headed towards her seat.

Comments

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Quoted: "I can understand not wanting people to know something because you're afraid they'll perceive you as a danger and you think, if they know, all they'll see when they look at you is your mistake, even if you know that it was a mistake and you won't ever do it again."

... That was very powerful and very telling, and this was an awesome log.