xp_logs | Log: [Marie, Haller] Sharing Time

Marie and Haller's insomnia coincides again, and there are way too many people in this kitchen.

Marie stretched and yawned as she neared the kitchen. She never slept much, but between the last couple of missions and the recent frequency of Sabretooth encounters, her sleep schedule had been even more bizarre. She and Dani had run out of hot chocolate, so she had ventured out to the main kitchen in search of some. Padding into the room, she stopped as she saw a familiar person sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of something steaming and a bag of mini-marshmallows. "Hello, um..." she trailed off not knowing what name to insert.

Green eyes blinked up from Marie as the kitchen's one other occupant paused in pulling back a marshmallow-laden spoon with one hand.

". . . Wow," Cyndi said, "Well, this totally isn't awkward at all."

It occurred to her keeping her eyes on the brunette meant she could completely fail to look at the tiny blackened chunks scattered across the table that were a testament not only to the fact her aim needed work, but that as a child it would have been better for everyone had David's subconscious never been introduced to the concept of flaming trebuchets. Given the fact that while Jim felt the need to take some of his vicarious stress out a clear display of insanity wasn't usually welcome after a student-mangling. She'd been trying for unobtrusive. Too bad that consideration had just gone right to hell.

Marie blinked and then purposefully strode further into the kitchen with her head held high. "Not one bit. It's not like, you know, you set me on fire or anything...wait. Yes you did." Eyeing the table, Marie raised an eyebrow. "An' Ah see your love for burning things is still in full force. Though if you keep using marshmallows, Ah won't complain."

Cyndi's nose wrinkled at the other girl from David's long face. "Yeah, I know the Dork apologized a million and five times already, but I got to apologize for that one too. On people usually not so much with the direct burning because, y'know, can't really go halfsies there, but since I can't hit anybody I totally foresaw a groove in the sand from where concerned parties dragged my ass back to Baldie. It'd been like four years and I was like 'hey, invulnerable'. Chuck and me had this big talk about how it's okay to burn crap Productively, so I'm cool now." Cyndi had lowered her face to the side of the table again, aiming the spoon for the mug, but at this she glanced up at Marie. "'Course, you got the joy of being stuck with Jackie right off."

"Well, him apologizing and you doing it are different things," Marie pointed out once she'd sorted out Cyndi's ramble. "Considering, you know, the chain of command at the time it happened." Marie turned to pull out some milk and set it up on the stove. "You're putting too much force on the spoon," she added. "That's why you're overshooting the mug." She ignored the comment about Jack.

Cyndi snorted at the girl's turned back. "So that total nonanswer means with the crazy you are 'fine, totally'. Uh huh."

The alter readjusted her aim, which was immediately followed by a tiny marshmallow hitting Marie dead in the back of the head.

"You mean more like that?"

Marie dropped the spoon she'd been holding and slowly turned around, staring at the tiny marshmallow laying on the floor. "Seriously? Ah mean, Ah know you're like a perpetual teenager or whatever, but did you really just do that?" She's utterly crazy. He's utterly crazy.

So are you.

Suddenly, for reasons inexplicable to anyone not in her head, Marie began laughing. "You know, what can Ah really say?" she said, turning back to the stove to finish making her cocoa. "Not like Ah'm always in the driver's seat myself," she continued as she carried the mug over to the table, sitting across from Cyndi.

The laughter evoked a grin. Conflict wasn't a big deal for Cyndi, but there was no denying someone back there was relieved at Marie's reaction. And Cyndi was pleased, because she was finally getting to talk to somebody else as herself since Lorna was Old and therefore did not count. Marie may not have been that much younger, but at least she was working her way down.

Cyndi fished another marshmallow from the bag and started rolling it along the table beneath her fingertips. "Yeah, David's brain is weird. It's totally weird. And then you look at the context. When you got guys teaching classes informed by the ghosts from the future in their heads? Any kind of traditional diagnosis, pretty much at the bottom of the list of impressive. Although, y'know, in practice still with the interpersonal awkwardness. How's Gary doing, anyway?"

Reaching across the table, Marie grabbed a handful of marshmallows. "Well, if he hears you callin' him that, he'll probably try to strangle you. But he'll be ok once he sees that all missions aren't like that," she said as she sprinkled the little white puffs into her cocoa. Or the one after. Third time better be the charm for him or Ah won't blame him for up and leaving."Y'all are still pretty unique around here though. But maybe we should just keep you paired with, well, us other crazies." She eyed the man across from her carefully, popping a tiny marshmallow into her mouth and setting the remaining few on the table next to her mug.

Cyndi waggled the spoon in the air emphatically. "Dude, it's understandable. Even the Dork didn't wanna go there. Chuck's the one who called it. Like, I know this is probably totally not reassuring and you could never tell through all the crack, but that was the most on-task Jack's been in forever. It was magical." The spoon was pushed over the table to the other girl. "Here. You get one of those things in the mug and then I'll believe your aiming advice."

"Well, there were no dead or broken bodies," Marie said. "So Ah took that as a positive change for Jack." Placing a marshmallow on the spoon, she pushed her mug across the table and bent down to scrutinize. Her first attempt went wide; the second bounced of the edge of the mug; the third, however, landed solidly in the cup with a little splishing sound.

"Okay, okay, your aim rocks and mine doesn't. Go you." Cyndi stuck her tongue out and scraped her fingernail at one of the blackened lumps that was slowly fusing to the tabletop. "And I dunno. Like, he'll swipe and I wouldn't poke but he's never actually had to kill anybody. He just comes out to do his thing. Sometimes we just gotta switch." Cyndi shrugged negligently and looked from the char on her fingernails back to Marie. "So like, how much does that happen with you? Like, how much of a weaning process d'you think there's gonna be with the rest of these guys?"

Marie eyes followed Cyndi's nail scraping little pieces of char off the table. "How much does what happen? The switching? Um..." Marie's eyes drifted across the room before she continued. "When Ah've had prolonged skin contact with someone. Ah don't really switch from stress, so it's not quite the same as you guys. Though Ah do sometimes get, uh, feedback from the others about what's going on around me or in my head."

Even if Jim hadn't read details in the team dossier Marie's look and tone were enough to confirm suspicions. The smirk Cyndi suppressed was not directed at her coworker.

"Y'know, there's some overwhelming overlap with you and the Dork. Like, I am so completely whelmed by the similarities I got to make up a whole new word for it. Except one of you is always way better dressed." Cyndi tapped her finger against the table, black marshmallow ash now beneath one nail. Her head tilted curiously. "Wow, so you're like stacking up there? Dude. That is totally why there was Canada and 'finding yourself', isn't it."

Marie started coughing as something went down the wrong pipe. "Ah, uh, yeah. Ah guess my version of finding myself was a little more literal than most folks. It got a little crowded for awhile and Ah didn't use to have a, um, sorting system." Wrapping her gloved hands around her mug, she pulled the cocoa closer to her. "Ah don't have as many dominant personalities as you guys though." She paused, counting in her head. "Ok, well not the same kinda dominant at least."

"God, I hope not. One of this is bad enough. Though you got a different sort of crazy. David was kinda lost in there for a while back at the start, but that excuse is a lot lamer if it's just in the rest of you." Cyndi leaned in to fold her arms across the table and rested her head in the crook of one elbow. "But I guess it worked out okay, or at least okay enough that we get to run around in semi-bondage gear with a bunch of people just as cracked but in weirdly undiagnosable ways."

"Well, if we didn't let crazy people be on the X-Men, more'n half the team would be benched. Ah guess they just figure if the crazy is manageable enough, it's ok." Marie took a sip from her mug, trying to gain strength from the warm liquid. "What's it like for you? Being in there?" It was something she'd often wanted to ask the other occupants of her own mind but never had the courage to.

Cyndi snorted a laugh, drawing herself off the table and back into her seat. "Oh dude, that was so heavy you don't even know. Whoa. Okay. Like, some days it's just annoying. You ever get that feeling where you know what you should be doing but somehow you're watching yourself do something else and you can't stop it? That's like the Dork's constant state. Davey and I mostly don't care as long as he doesn't do that thing where he acts like parts of his brain aren't going sprong, but dude. The boys. On bad days it's power-struggle 24/7. Every time they start going at it I picture slap-fights, which is so clearly what they wish they could do."

Although even as she said it the alter had to concede that Jim and Jack's tension had become . . . less. Steadily since getting back to a real job, but even more lately. As usual Jack would rather have gnawed his own leg off than acknowledge any kind of progress, but Jim had some slightly unnerved suspicions. As did Cyndi, since being neither blind nor an idiot she could make the obvious connection when the weird lull had only started a few weeks ago, but she didn't feel like Jim's unnecessarily complex personal issues needed to be a component in Sharing Time.

Marie suddenly felt a great deal of sympathy for Haller. And empathy for the internal slap-fights. Prior to studying with Twoyoungman, John, Erik and Logan had clearly not gotten along. Now their ability to interact was much more limited, which was part of the reason she was a lot more sane. Suddenly she felt she understood the man sitting across from her a lot more. "Ah guess it's kinda the same for me," she said cautiously. "When Ah'm not in control. Ah watch and give input...but Ah can't do anything to stop what's happening until Ah get stronger."

"Huh," Cyndi said, considering. "Is it possible to be kinda the same and kinda opposite both at once? Like, Damage Boy doesn't get to call the shots but switches are for a reason, so we come out and take care of whatever. Uh, mostly." Not always like the main personality would have chosen, but still. Cyndi leaned forward and laced her hands together, index fingers pointed at Marie. "So, question. Do your headvoices ever make you do stuff when they take over? Because like . . . David's are David, so supposedly we all really only do David stuff, but yours are from outside. So how does that work?"

Marie cheeks grew a little pink. "Yeah, Ah guess that does make it kinda different at the same time. They sometimes do things Ah wouldn't do myself. Ever. Still a few places Ah won't go after the last time Logan took the wheel. He has a whole less inhibitions than Ah do and enjoys making me turn three shades of red. Like taking me to some of those low down dives he frequents and acting exactly like he does in his own body." Wrapping a piece of white hair around her finger, she watched the tendril coil around until she released it. "When Ah'm lucky, it's just something embarrassing like that."

Cyndi smirked. LalalalaMarklalalala . . . "See, the parallel kinda breaks down there 'cause I'm usually the one doing the embarrassing crap. 'Cause of 'displacement'. But yeah, I get you. Though y'know, if you gotta awkward-timeshare the body it's not so bad when it's somebody you trust." There was just the slightest moment of hesitation before the alter added, "I guess."

"Yeah, well, him Ah don't mind so much. It's some of the other folks taking up residence Ah could do without. But they're mostly quiet now and haven't run the show in quite some time." Marie smiled at Cyndi to take the edge of her words, not wanting to dredge up the past, but feeling strangely comfortable. She wondered how often she'd get the opportunity to talk to someone who could understand her the way the person across the table from her seemed to be. "Anyways. So Ah always get to watch what's going on, even when Ah'm not in charge. Is that how it is for you guys?"

"Ehhh . . . kinda. It used to be more but Davey and the Dork, not so much now." Cyndi put her hands together, then drew them apart at arms' length. Coincidentally, the emphasis allowed her to downplay the fact the necessity of dodging the appropriate proper noun was getting excruciating to the point that Jim was going to pay for the discretion with vengeful faceglitter. "Way long ago there was some heinous dumb and they ended up on opposite sides of the brain with a kiddie gate between them. Jackie and I watch everything since always. Even that chunk of time we couldn't come out."

"Huh," was about all Marie could manage, taking a sip of her now cooling cocoa. "That must've been real hard, watching all that time and not being able to do anything. Could you still...talk Ah guess would be the word during that time? To the, um, others? Or was it like, total lockdown?" she asked, thinking of her own compartmentalized self.

"Oh, we could talk. We just got buried under the main voice and we almost never got forward. TK got strapped and Jack and me are pretty much part of it. No access means we couldn't get out, which means hey, no actual progress could get made, and blah blah." The alter's mouth pulled in a scowl of distaste as she waved one hand at Marie. "That one was all Chuck's bad, but y'know. The Dork begged and begged and was getting hit with a ton of hospital bills, so options were kinda limited. Which was all nice for then but y'know, led to total flip-out later." As quickly as it had appeared, the scowl turned into an ironic smile at the other girl. "Ignoring headvoices never ends well."

Because listening worked so well for me before. "It gets crowded," Marie said quietly. "And listening all the time...it just gets to be too much sometimes." And then you get sent away. "Plus that's another difference...they aren't a part of me. Well, Ah guess they are now, but they aren't me. They are them." She grinned sheepishly at Cyndi. "If that makes any kinda sense at all."

Cyndi's normally expressive face had suddenly gone completely deadpan. "Uh, yeah," she said, "it does." She added, a little more feelingly, "'Course, since there's not much we can actually do about the impending crazy the only thing you can do is warn. Fair being fair."

The alter slid back down onto the tabletop, resting her chin on her crossed wrists, and looked up at Marie from the debris of burned marshmallows. "So, like . . . okay." Look at that, a subject change! "There's this policy where from now on we only train and mission with people prepared for stepping on the crazy rake, which I'm sure had zero to do with Jack's cowboy crap. I know Gary's name's nowhere to be found on that sign-up sheet. Yours?"

Can't really blame Garrison after you stopped shielding him. But Ah can protect myself. An' Ah probably understand better than most. "As long as you don't set me on fire again, yeah, we're good Ah guess. Do you guys, um, all train in the DR?" Marie couldn't believe she was basically volunteering to do a paired run with Haller and the gang, but it would be better to learn how to work with them off the field before having to out on a mission.

"Yeah, though mostly singly so far because the Dork's still mildly freaking about letting Jackie play with the general population, and as we saw God knows who ends up out. But it's okay. There's a Plan for him." Cyndi pouted at the other girl. "And hey, no way can you hold the hair against me. I swear I heard the other invulnerable person's gotta cut his with like, a laser. I am being so unfairly maligned."

Marie wasn't sure she wanted to know what the Plan was. "Well, for future reference, my invulnerability only extends to the living parts of my body. Don't know if that's 'cuz it's stolen or just the way it was from the get go," Marie said, though she managed to keep a smile on her face. "But Ah won't bring it up again." Because Ah understand you better now. The bits and pieces and the whole.

"Yeah, well, it's going in the mental notes. Mostly because of the total disgustingness that is the smell of burning hair." The words were delivered with a smile at the brunette. There was still some discomfort, but that was pretty normal after burning, and, oh yeah, the massively overpacked baggage neither of them was 100% willing to pull off the carousel, but from experience and much, much therapy she knew 'mostly okay' was as good as it was going to get with brain weirdness. Cyndi could live with that. Yeah, she added to the presence that had been standing back through this whole encounter to let the alter do what she'd been made for, and so can you.

The alter reached across the table to tug at the bag of marshmallows and extracted one, which she then put on the reclaimed spoon. Which was now evincing slight but suspicious bentness, but oh well. She took aim and flashed another grin at Marie. "Now I say we go for best two out of three into the garbage disposal."