xp_logs | When It All Goes Wrong Again

Lorna's having a very nice dinner with her fiance, his brother, and some Japanese dignitaries. Then it gets crashed by three kids and a seagull.

Shiro sat back in his chair, hand patting his full belly. "Dinner was marvelous, Miss Dane," he said happily. He was very happy that his father had allowed him to accompany Saburo to California. If this was any indication of American cooking, then Shiro was all in favor of widening trade and strengthening ties between America and Japan. Or whatever it was his father was here for.

"Absolutely," echoed Saburo, though he remained sitting up in his seat. He held up his wine glass and smiled at his hosts. "I will have to travel here more often."

Lorna inclined her head, smiling, "Thank you, both. It's no trouble at all. I enjoy seeing people take pleasure in eating." The caterers, of course, had done all the work. Even if she'd had time to do all the cooking and decorating and such, she wouldn't have. There were far more important things for her to turn her attention to. Lifting her napkin, she set it beside her plate and rose just as Brent did the same. Their hands linked out of long habit, presenting a picture perfect moment of domesticity. If there had been reporters around, they wouldn't have been able to resist--which was, of course, the point.

Brent leaned over and kissed her on the cheek then took over the hosting duties, smiling his equally polished smile--the one that conveyed warmth, sincerity and confidence. Strangely, it was entirely genuine. "Gentlemen, if you'd like to come with me, we'll be serving dessert in the next room." As their guests rose, Lorna plucked the sleeve of Brent's younger brother and murmured quietly in his ear, asking him to stay and help her with the dessert tray.

Shiro offered Brent's brother Gabriel a brief nod and small smile before following Brent and Saburo. They'd known each other for some time now, since Gabriel had studied abroad in Japan at the same university that Shiro attended. His normally wacky demeanor was subdued tonight, but the gleam in his eye when he glanced back at Shiro before turning to help Lorna suggested that it was all just an act for his brother's sake.

"I was speaking with Ambassador Kato-san the other day," said Saburo casually, comfortably settling down. "He has been in contact with some aerospace industries, and it seems that they are interested in expanding overseas." Shiro stifled a yawn. He liked the trips with his father, but he hated the business associated with it. Here comes the boring part of the evening.

In the small kitchen, Lorna worked quickly to tray up the simple desserts, lent an aura of sophistication by their size (tiny) and their presentation (modern). Gabriel fixed the coffee, reaching around her a couple of times for supplies. She smiled gratefully at him. There had been a time, not so long ago really, when there had been something there she'd thought. But Brent had been the one who was going places and Gabriel was a couple years younger anyway. It had been to everyone's best interests for her to remain devoted to the older brother.

They carried out the trays to the meeting already in progress, Brent and Saburo chatting amiably about policy. Lorna served silently and offered coffee or a drink to everyone before settling in next to Brent, her glass of pinot grigio more for looks than anything.

Shiro accepted a cup of tea and nodded in thanks to Lorna. But he was still bored and needed something to occupy himself while Brent and Saburo talked and Lorna did . . . whatever it was she did. Shiro wasn't sure. "Pardon me," he said softly, standing up, "I need to use the restroom. Uh, Gabriel, could you please direct me to it?" His friend nodded and led him down the hall and out of sight. "This isn't the bathroom," he said as Gabriel opened the door to what appeared to be a spare bedroom.

His friend just grinned and pushed Shiro inside, closing the door behind them. "I know." Any further protests were silenced when Gabriel's lips met Shiro's. The young Japanese man couldn't help but laugh as Gabriel pushed him down onto the bed and crawled on top, their lips never parting. There were times where their secret affair was trying, but other times when it was exciting. This time was the latter.

What she did was play hostess, carefully attending her guests and making sure that everyone was at ease. When she noticed the absence of Gabriel and Shiro had gone on rather too long, she frowned to herself and eased out of the room again. Old school friends or no, it wasn't a good idea for them to be absent too long and getting into trouble.

The condo wasn't large and there were limited amount of places the young men could have gone. Figuring that they'd headed for the X-box in the spare bedroom, she rapped on the door perfunctorily and pushed it open, "Gabe, you need to s..." Her voice died off in a hiss of displeasure as the boys broke apart hastily, Gabriel pushing his too long blond hair off his face and giving her wide, innocent eyes as though his mouth wasn't red and swollen from kissing. "Shit," Lorna concluded and stepped fully into the room, shutting the door rapidly behind her. "What the hell?"

This was almost like the time that Shiro's roommate had caught them in varying states of undress. Or when Leyu had. Or when . . . come to think of it, Shiro and Gabriel weren't doing the whole secret thing very well. But this was worse. Brent and Lorna's obsession with being the perfect American couple wasn't going to fly if Brent's brother was out and proud.

Shiro began hastily buttoning up his shirt again and looked around the room for an escape. Too bad he couldn't just fly out the window. "I didn't think you knew those words," he sniped. "Not very becoming of you."

Her response could have peeled the paint from the walls, venomous but nearly silent as she tried to figure the angles on this one. They couldn't let it go on, of course. But then again in this day and age, it wasn't nearly as crushing a blow to a candidate, at least not on the state level. But...something inside her rebelled at the very idea of this all out of proportion to its importance. Her hands were shaking as she clenched them to fists and drew in a slow, steadying breath then marched over to Gabriel's side and pulled him away, "Get up, for Christ's sake. How could you do this? How long has this been going on?"

"It's actually really easy," Gabriel retorted, apparently unmoved by Lorna's condemnation. "You see, first Shiro and I met. Then we hung out, got a little drunk, and I fell on his lips. You want a play-by-play? It's like something straight outta one of those movies on LOGO."

"Or you could be quiet now," interrupted Shiro. He stood up, his shirt still only half-buttoned, and placed a hand on Gabriel's bare chest to push him away from Lorna. "I think that our best option right now is to stop talking and rejoin Brent and my father. And you can keep your damn mouth shut, woman. This does not concern you." Even though it had scandalous potential that could bring ruin to this supposed happy family.

For a moment, she completely lost her head. Not concern her? How dare he say that? This could destroy everything and it would put Gabriel out of her reach forever and... Lorna reached out and snatched Shiro's hand away from Gabriel, "Stop touching him! This ends now."

The moment before Lorna's hand came into contact with his own, Shiro didn't understand why he felt such fury and disgust at her. Sure, she was being a complete whacko, but there was something more. Like she wanted Gabriel for herself and maybe there was the slightest chance that he reciprocated, and if Shiro could have thought about it longer, he would have exploded in rage.

As it was, his mind felt like it exploded when they touched. Dizzied, he took a step back. "What . . .?" He couldn't even phrase a question. Why was he in California with a blonde Lorna and that asshole drunk Brent and a young man who looked bore an uncanny resemblance to Alex? More importantly, how the hell was his father alive?

Lorna swayed and backed off as well, moving until her back hit the wall, eyes wide. "I...Alex? Shiro?" This was wrong. Everything about this was wrong and it didn't make any sense. Her head felt like it was going haywire as reality warred with...reality. Or whatever this was. The man that she'd thought of as Gabriel a moment ago looked at the both of them like they'd gone insane. Her ears were ringing and some part of her suspected that maybe she finally really had lost it except that Shiro looked as freaked out and baffled as she did.

"What's going on?"

It had been hard enough for Shiro to reconcile himself to the fact that he was sexually attracted to Alex, harder still for him to tell Kyle (or for him to find out). But now here he was (where the hell was here?) half-undressed with another man who could have been Alex but wasn't. And Lorna was there. If Shiro were one to hyperventilate, he'd have a paper bag up to his mouth now. This couldn't be real. Someone was fooling with his head.

Except that Gabriel's lips on his and his hands all over Shiro felt way too good and way too real to be an illusion. "You have done it," he said finally. "You have gone so mad that you are taking other people with you."

"You're blaming me?" Lorna sputtered incredulously, not even thinking before she spoke. "Why would I go crazy enough to pair you up with my ex? That doesn't make sense! I don't want Alex with anyone else!" Maybe her subconscious was punishing her by taking away the fragile peace and slowly growing hope that she'd come to since Thanksgiving. Maybe this really was her going crazy.

"Ah ha! I knew it." Shiro smiled viciously at Lorna, baring his teeth in a very Logan-esque manner. "What is wrong with you? If you have to be miserable because you are psychotic, then everyone else has to go with you? I ought to fry you where you stand." Not that he could (whether he would is another question), because he knew that he had no powers. It was a sensation he'd grown familiar with a few times before. Probably better for everyone this way.

"That's not what I mean..." Lorna began angrily then whipped around, distracted, "what the hell is that?" Banging from the front rooms and raised voices filtered through the thin walls of the condo.

"--Are you sure she is not here? She is very hard to miss. About this tall? Green hair? Knows a lot about geology?" One of the voices was absurdly familiar. If the scene in the bedroom was not brain damaging enough for Shiro and Lorna, the scene in the living room added to it. There were Julio. Forge and Angel standing in the living room. Julio had a phonebook tucked under one arm, the chain from where they had ripped it out of a phonebooth still dangling and Angel had a backpack that seemed to be ...moving?

"Lorna!" Forge practically shoved his way past the two Californian boys and stopped in front of Lorna and Shiro. "Okay, this is going to sound weird, but your life is not your life. We all really live in a mansion in New York and we're friends... kinda... and I might not seem familiar but you and I were kidnapped by a terrorist once and I've always thought we had some kind of bond even though you're usually all unapproachable and stuff. Oh, and we all have superpowers. Except not right now. Any of this sound familiar or do Julio and I need to turn you upside down?" He turned his head to the side and blinked. "Hey! Shiro! We got a two-for-one!"

Lorna stared, turned to Shiro and then looked back. "Forge...shut up." She rubbed her forehead as she heard Gabriel come up behind her and Shiro. "Without babbling, can you tell me what the hell is going on here and why you're invading my condo. Also why I have a condo and apparently a fiancé who is even now looking at me like I'm trying to ruin his life. Love you too, honey." She'd decided that the best way to go about coping was to treat her reality and her memories as equally valid. Just like a real crazy person would.

"Whoops, sorry! Coming through! Don't mind the mess, pretend it was made by a chupathingy!" Gasping for breath, Angel darted around someone standing in the doorway and nearly ran into Forge. "Hey, careening off is okay, stopping when there are still others careening..." She peered around the older boy's shoulder and clapped her hands in delight. "Ms. D! Shiro! ...and Alex?" And with that, she threw herself at Lorna. Lorna was an adult. Lorna was an X-Man. Lorna she could cling to for a few seconds because this was seriously all messed up.

Julio looked from Lorna and Angel to Shiro and the Alex-looking guy behind him, pointing and blinking before rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I-uh-huh. ~Well, this is interesting~. Ms. Dane, I did not know you were blonde, and Shiro, I did not know you were gay. You learn something new everyday. Unless, You and Ms. Dane and..." Julio trailed off and his eyes widened.

Shiro buried his face in his hands. He felt vaguely ill. "Kill me," he moaned. "It's not what you think. Can we not talk about this and get back to the part where you explain why we are here?"

"Right!" Forge clapped his hands, glancing around. "Wow. Nice digs. Anyway! Memory inconsistencies, powers not working, both hands," he held his ten fingers up, wiggling them in demonstration. "Something's happened and either the past has been altered incredibly significantly - like San Diego still standing, you know? - or someone's screwed with us. I tried to call the school, but the phone wouldn't connect. I'm running out of ideas and we need to try and find more people. Julio, the book."

The other boy opened the phone book with a flourish. "This is how we found you," Julio said. Instead of normal names and numbers, there was a very detailed map to Lorna's house from a pier in San Diego. "Every page was like this," he added. "Forge and I met each other by accident after I crossed the border and he stole a car because the TV told us to, and we met Angel on the pier with Bob."

"Bob's a talking seagull," Angel explained, face still smushed into Lorna. Coping was good. "He found me when I was out and about. I...or this me or whatever...has a swim meet tomorrow morning. And I didn't remember--but how I could not chase a talking seagull?--until Forge and Julio touched me." There was a pause. "Totally not like that."

Lorna rubbed Angel's back absently, still trying to figure out what the hell she was going to do about the three students in her home that wasn't really not to mention Shiro and the guy who wasn't Alex but try telling her jealousy that. "Honey," she said, addressing Brent instead, "Can you give us all a minute? I'm very sorry about all this, Mr. Yoshida. Kids, why don't you come back to the other room with me and we can talk about all this there." It was funny how she could sound so calm, even to her own ears. Apparently mixing realities meant that her freak out mechanism just gave up completely.

As everyone filed into the next room, Forge whistled at the style of the house, then turned to Lorna. "Okay, the blonde is throwing me. But everyone goes blonde at some point, so here goes. We're pretty sure that whatever's happened, it involves all of us who went out on the field trip the other day. So who else was there, and do we have any idea how to get to them? Julio, anything looking suspicious?"

"Noooo, not that I can remember. We saw art." And he made out with Angel in the Egyptian exhibit. "I really cannot recall anything. Why do we not ask Bob? Since he knew about the phonebook." he reached for Angel's backpack and unzipped it. And irate-looking seagull stuck its head out.

"Yes, now we remember the seagull in the backpack, nice, thanks, try to help you people out and I get shoved in a tight enclosed space. Well, what are you looking at? Let me out of here before I bite your damn fingers off!" The seagull struggled mightily, and then sighed in exasperation at Lorna and Shiro. "What? Ain't you never seen a talking seagull before? What do I have to do? Say 'Mine' before ya believe me?"

Scowling, Angel reached around and grabbed Bob's beak. "I will totally squeeze your head off, dude, if you keep up the attitude," she huffed. "I mean, really, it was hard enough getting us in here without you flying around, pooping on stuff. Geez. I gave you a poptart, what more did you really want?"

"I would say that this is the single most absurd moment in my life," Shiro said as he tried to inconspicuously button up his shirt and redo his tie, "But I have been to Asgard. This is barely a close second. At least there we had magic to get us . . ." Shiro could have sworn an actual lightbulb illuminated over his head when he thought of this, but when he looked up he saw nothing. "Oh. Sefton was at the museum, too. Have you seen her? Did she mess up a spell again?"

Lorna reached into her pocket, pulled out a small pill case and dry-swallowed a Xanax. Whatever this reality was, at least she was well-medicated. "So, to recap: There's a talking seagull. We're not mutants. I'm fairly sure my hair color still isn't natural. We've got the most specialized phone book in existence. And until we ran into each other, none of us knew that there was anything wrong with that. Does that about cover it?" As an afterthought, she held out her pills, "Anyone else want one?"

"Let me out, dammit." The seagull dubbed Bob finally extricated himself from Angel's backpack and flew around the room to stretch his wings before perching on a very expensive antique armoire. "That seems about right, Lady. Anyone more obvious things you wanna state, just for the record? How about the fact that your geographical location just happened to be where you were from had you not been a mutant? Huh? Did that occur to anyone yet?" He preened himself with great dignity.

"But, I was in Mexico and Forge was still in Texas, and yet Angel and Shiro were here in California when they did not have to be... Unless... it was because we did not have a reason?" Julio made a face. "I am reaching here, please help me out."

"Wait a minute. If I hadn't been a mutant, I probably woulda have been here. This meet tomorrow was one I knew about before the season started." Angel chewed on her lip. "And dad's still doing his thing, he didn't move to New York, didn't take his big job offer because I was still going to school back home..."

Forge glanced out the window at an arriving van. As it slowed and the window rolled down, he could see the logo on the side: Glory Bee Airport Shuttle, with a cartoon bee wearing a pilot's hat. "...Julio? Look up airport shuttles in the book, would you?"

Julio frowned and then flipped open the book. Instead of the map to Lorna's house, it had several listings for correctional facilities, lawyers, and bail bondsmen in Billings, Montana. "Oh, that is right. Kyle said he stole a car before he came to the school. At least we know he is not moving around?"

From the lowest drawer in the desk, tucked inside a box of envelopes, Lorna pulled out a pack of cigarettes, extracting one and eyeing the group in the room. "I suppose we should go get him then, I guess. Does your book of miracles have a suggestion for how we're supposed to get there or should I steal Brent's Amex?" She frowned at the cigarette she was holding. "Anyone have a lighter?"

"Gabriel does." Shiro nodded at the door, behind which he was sure that the hosts and guest of what had been a nice little dinner party were standing and eavesdropping. "Uh, not that I would know . . ." he trailed off and looked away. He was half-tempted to bum one of the cancer sticks off Lorna. This was like all of his fears made manifest. Now all that was left was a ninja attack.

"Man, I used to be a lighter," Angel sulked, stuffing her hands in her pockets. "Now I'm all like chilly and stuff. And I bet if I tried to eat the way I'm used to? Total throw up city. Ew." She kicked at the carpet. "This is weirdo land, I wish we could steal a plane or something, you know? Because this is way too surreal."

"Guys?" Julio said, as he flipped a page in the phonebook and held it up. It was a giant page ad for the Glory Bee Airport Shuttle.

"Ah, the Deus Ex Phonebook," Bob the seagull said, having finished preening and a leaving a fine film of feathers on Lorna's immaculate floor.

Craning his neck to look over Julio's shoulder, Forge smiled and twirled around, pointing to the door. "All right, it's on! Everyone grab your shit, we have a shuttle to catch! Come on, the book says so!"

Lorna had found a matchbook and was in the middle of applying flame to cancer stick when Forge made his announcement. "Whoa, wait, what? Just hop on a shuttle with no visible means of support, no idea where we're going and no luggage or even a carry on? None of this makes any sense but this is even less sense than usual. We need a plan, not just a creepy phone book and a talking bird!" She inhaled deeply and blew out the smoke. "And what do you mean I'm unapproachable?"

"What do you propose?" asked Shiro spitefully. "The mansion does not exist, ne? Has anyone been able to find Professor Xavier, Mister Summers, or even Logan?" He shook his head and walked over to Julio to take a look at the phonebook. "We did not have plans in Asgard except to find everyone to ensure our collective safety. If Kyle is in Montana, then we ought to go there."

"And as crazy as it seems," Angel spoke up, "the irritable talking bird and the crazy voodoo phone book have worked so far..."

"It has not lead us wrong yet," said Julio sensibly. "We have tried other directories and we cannot find listings for the school or for the professor. I do not know about the rest of the teachers, but we did not have a map to their houses. Besides, we have no other options. Perhaps now we ditch your boyfriends and we go, yes?"

"Wow," Forge said with a shocked voice as he saw Brent and Gabriel down by the doors. "How many boyfriends do you have, Lorna? Wait, never mind. The shuttle! Come on, people, move!"

"Shut up, Forge." Lorna followed the little group out and spared a moment to get her purse and to explain to a Most Unamused Brent that she was "just going to make sure these kids get on their way safe, honey. Can I borrow the Visa?" Actually getting in the van was against her better judgment but then everything in this reality seemed to be against anyone's better judgment so the point was probably moot.

Shiro followed everyone out the door, offering only a quick goodbye to his father and Gabriel. Not even a handshake to the one who was supposed to be his boyfriend but couldn't have been because he wasn't Alex and therefore there could be no way that Shiro was interested. The look of shock and disappointment on Gabriel's face, though, was too similar, and it was hard to keep a straight face. Even harder to not say anything to his father who should have been dead eight years. He refused to look out the van's window once he climbed in and got seated; on second, third, and fourth thoughts, it was too tempting to stay behind.

"Alright kids, buckle up. We got a ways to go yet." Bob said, as the van sped off.