xp_logs | Doug and Marie-Ange: an apology

Doug finally works himself up to apologizing to Marie-Ange for the way he acted at Christmas.

Doug bit his lip as he stood indecisively outside Marie-Ange's open office door, off to the side where he couldn't be seen from inside. He'd made it this far a couple times before, but hadn't been able to muster up the nerve to knock or peek his head around. He knew he was probably worrying too much, but it was hard to forget the way she had turned abruptly to hide her face from him. But he hadn't needed to see her face to read the stunned, hurt slump of her shoulders as she had quickly left the room. He'd been a rat bastard to her, and intentionally gone for the low blow, even after she had apologized for unintentionally hurting his feelings. She deserved better than that. So he raised his hand and rapped on the doorjamb and poked his head around it. "Um, hi," he said quietly when Marie-Ange raised her head from her computer to see who it was.

"Um, hi?" Marie-Ange repeated coldly, frowning deeply, and glaring at the open door. She couldn't bring herself to make eye contact with Doug, instead looking just above his head. "What ever it is you need to fix, please give me a moment so I can go get a coffee. That way I will not be bothering you with any questions." She started to stand, making a show of obviously false calmness.

Doug's arm moved to block Marie-Ange's path as she headed toward the door. "I don't need to fix your computer," he answered her in that same quiet tone. "I need to fix something else. I...I'm sorry," he stammered slightly after a moment. "I was a bastard to you. I didn't want to talk, and I knew the exact worst thing to say, and I said it. I'm sorry."

Marie-Ange shook her head sadly, still refusing to look at Doug. "I do not know what to tell you." she said quietly. "It did hurt, and I ... I had thought we were not still angry with each other, so I do not understand why you chose to say something like that."

"I wasn't angry. I just..." Still love you and don't think you feel the same? Doug firmly quashed his subconscious from heckling further. "I took the easiest way out, and it wasn't the right thing to do."

She needed to sit down. Not out of shock, because it was not a new occurance for Doug to apoligize, but because she wasn't sure what else to do. She dropped into her chair, and sat for a moment silently. "I am not ... certain what to say."

"Um, I'll settle for you saying that you forgive me for being a giant ass to you?" Doug asked hesitantly, clasping his hands behind his back and trying hard not to fidget. This was hard. This was really hard. It might have been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. He wasn't sure what to do if she said something snarky or hurtful to him, even though she was probably well within her rights.

"If you answer me a question, yes." Marie-Ange said. "And no, not the question about the mistletoe. You have made it very clear that you do not want to answer that." She leaned forward, looking directly at Doug. "Why? What has changed, that you are not hiding under your desk?"

Doug shrugged. "I don't hide under my desk anymore," he said slightly defensively. "I'm not the same person I was. And you apologized for hurting my feelings when you hadn't even realized that you had. I set out to hurt your feelings deliberately, so I figured the least I could do was apologize." He shrugged again and managed to smile just a bit. "Besides, Amanda would kick my butt if she thought I was hiding under my desk."

It was a perfectly valid answer. Which did nothing, really, except present more questions. But Doug was apparantly not answering sensitive questions, and Marie-Ange certainly didn't want to cause another fight. She bit back the question about Amanda that came to mind, and tried to smile. "She is good at that, yes."

Doug could see the curiosity, and the way Marie-Ange bit it back. But she was correct, he wasn't ready to answer sensitive questions. At least, not from her, and definitely not about how his friendship with Amanda had changed and deepened. So he simply managed to smile hesitantly back and repeat "So, yeah, I'm sorry for the way I acted."

"You said that..." Marie-Ange said gently. "I am not going to hold a grudge." She looked at Doug, first thoughtfully and then with a slight smile. "But I think we need a break. I will go get Amanda, and Mark, and we can get coffee and you can buy mine, and then we will be even."

Doug tapped a finger to his mouth thoughtfully, then grinned a bit playfully. "How is it that, even though we're not dating, I still wind up buying things for you half the time?" he asked as they walked out of her office.