Nathan and Angelo, late Monday night
Feb. 19th, 2007 10:59 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsNathan watches a restless Angelo pacing the beach, back on the downswing. Sometimes there's nothing you can do but watch.
He'd been expecting this, since that first night in the hospital. He wasn't actually sure why he hadn't had a nightmare, his first couple of nights in the house, but he'd been spared. Not anymore, though. And so Angelo was pacing a short stretch of the darkened beach, cigarette in hand, having relapsed rather thoroughly.
Nathan stepped out the back door of the house, closing it silently behind him as he moved across the flagstones, skirting the pool. He went only as far as the wall that dropped off at the edge of the grounds, but he didn't make a move towards the steps that led down to the beach.
Angelo was visible, if only by the glowing end of his cigarette moving back and forth, but he was also broadcasting like a beacon tonight. His shields hadn't been up to much, for the last few days.
Nathan sat down on the wall, watching him, a darker shape against the darkness. He knew perfectly well that Angelo wasn't up to conversation right now, and wasn't about to force it on him. But he also wasn't going to stay in the house and pretend that he hadn't sensed the young man fleeing for fresh air.
He was unnoticed, for the time being, because Angelo wasn't looking up at the house. Just pacing, and smoking almost desperately, and trying very, very hard not to think.
There was a particular feel to a mind going desperately in circles, and Angelo's had that now. Briefly, Nathan considered announcing himself in some way, just letting him know that he was up here - it might be a distraction, at the very least, and welcome.
It might have been. But there was equally the possibility that having to talk to anybody right now would just send Angelo running, down the beach until he ran out of breath. Even he might not know which way it would go, until it came to it.
So Nathan just watched, and for the first time was angry, at the people who'd put Angelo into this state and so many others in the hospital and in the ground. There hadn't been time for anger yet. Too much to do. But now, there was just Angelo pacing the beach, and no handy distractions from it all, and Nathan found himself tracing a meditative pattern in his mind, consciously as he hadn't had to do in months, to control the anger.
Angelo was angry too. Had been, to a degree, since he woke up from that brief unconsciousness in the city and found the building destroyed around him. But it was a tense kind of anger, as it usually was with him, coiling up like a spring somewhere inside and growing.
Once upon a time, Nathan would have walked down there and pushed, trying to get Angelo to release at least some of that anger. But he'd learned a lot in the last few years, and some things, he'd known before he'd ever set foot in the school.
Sometimes, the anger didn't go away just because you let it out. Because the hurt beneath it was just too much.
The pacing was not helping, he decided abruptly, and he flung the cigarette away to land in the sand and burn harmlessly out. He didn't turn to go back up to the house yet, though. Just folded up to sit on the beach and stare at the ocean he couldn't see for a while.
If it started to rain, he would go down and get him, Nathan thought. Not until then. Or until there was some sign that Angelo needed him. Until then... he wasn't about to try and deprive Angelo of the space to stare things in the face for a while.
He'd been expecting this, since that first night in the hospital. He wasn't actually sure why he hadn't had a nightmare, his first couple of nights in the house, but he'd been spared. Not anymore, though. And so Angelo was pacing a short stretch of the darkened beach, cigarette in hand, having relapsed rather thoroughly.
Nathan stepped out the back door of the house, closing it silently behind him as he moved across the flagstones, skirting the pool. He went only as far as the wall that dropped off at the edge of the grounds, but he didn't make a move towards the steps that led down to the beach.
Angelo was visible, if only by the glowing end of his cigarette moving back and forth, but he was also broadcasting like a beacon tonight. His shields hadn't been up to much, for the last few days.
Nathan sat down on the wall, watching him, a darker shape against the darkness. He knew perfectly well that Angelo wasn't up to conversation right now, and wasn't about to force it on him. But he also wasn't going to stay in the house and pretend that he hadn't sensed the young man fleeing for fresh air.
He was unnoticed, for the time being, because Angelo wasn't looking up at the house. Just pacing, and smoking almost desperately, and trying very, very hard not to think.
There was a particular feel to a mind going desperately in circles, and Angelo's had that now. Briefly, Nathan considered announcing himself in some way, just letting him know that he was up here - it might be a distraction, at the very least, and welcome.
It might have been. But there was equally the possibility that having to talk to anybody right now would just send Angelo running, down the beach until he ran out of breath. Even he might not know which way it would go, until it came to it.
So Nathan just watched, and for the first time was angry, at the people who'd put Angelo into this state and so many others in the hospital and in the ground. There hadn't been time for anger yet. Too much to do. But now, there was just Angelo pacing the beach, and no handy distractions from it all, and Nathan found himself tracing a meditative pattern in his mind, consciously as he hadn't had to do in months, to control the anger.
Angelo was angry too. Had been, to a degree, since he woke up from that brief unconsciousness in the city and found the building destroyed around him. But it was a tense kind of anger, as it usually was with him, coiling up like a spring somewhere inside and growing.
Once upon a time, Nathan would have walked down there and pushed, trying to get Angelo to release at least some of that anger. But he'd learned a lot in the last few years, and some things, he'd known before he'd ever set foot in the school.
Sometimes, the anger didn't go away just because you let it out. Because the hurt beneath it was just too much.
The pacing was not helping, he decided abruptly, and he flung the cigarette away to land in the sand and burn harmlessly out. He didn't turn to go back up to the house yet, though. Just folded up to sit on the beach and stare at the ocean he couldn't see for a while.
If it started to rain, he would go down and get him, Nathan thought. Not until then. Or until there was some sign that Angelo needed him. Until then... he wasn't about to try and deprive Angelo of the space to stare things in the face for a while.
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