Possession Night: Closing Time

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You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. Wanda and Lorna head homeward and discuss their midnight snack options.



"Damn you, Haller and Braddock!" Wanda cursed feebly, shaking her fist in a menacing fashion. "No more getting naked or snogging or whatever you were doing! Coulda lasted a few more hours except someone felt like naked time was upon us..."

The breeze felt good. Good enough to probably be illegal, even. Wanda teetered slightly outside of Harry's before falling back against the siding. There was no way she was in any condition to drive herself home. In fact, she hadn't been in that condition since...long time. Very long time. "If the world stood still long enough," she muttered, "I could think better..."

"If the world stood still, we'd all die." Lorna said from her place on a bench a few feet away. She was lying down, staring up at the night, her hair nearly dragging in the dirt. "Like that movie. With the big drill and the birds falling from the sky." But it was okay. Because the world was still spinning. Round and round and round. Fast. Was gonna get a speeding ticket going that fast.

"Was the big drill the reason the birds fell from the sky?" Wanda asked, squinting and trying to think if it rang a bell. "And no dieing. Because that would be a dreadful waste of all the drinking we have just done. And shame on us if we do that." She slid down the wall until she was almost sitting, arms balanced on the top of her knees.

"No no no no no. No." Lorna struggled to sit up then decided that gravity was pulling too hard and gave up. Must be the spinning. Like at the fair. "No, the drill was to make the world spin again. With bombs." Her hands described a nearly graceful explosion--like dying birds.

"Aha! Well, that makes more sense than the drill making birds fall out of the sky. And I like bombs, bombs are nice." She blinked. "I think I just might be more than a little drunk. Maybe. Juuuust a tad." Wanda held her fingers up, nearly touching. "Tiny bit."

"I'm not," Lorna announced firmly. "I'm really drunk." She looked concerned suddenly and lifted one leg, then the other. "Oh...okay, still have shoes. Good." She planted them back on the ground. "I have to be on a plane."

Wanda tilted her head in Lorna's direction. "Yes, shoes are a good thing and...oohh, I like those. I need to go shopping soon..." There was an attempt to get back on track. "Plane? Hopefully not now because that would be bad. And teleporting while drunk would be bad as well. But you wouldn't end up in the river!"

"Nooooo. 9 am. Plane. To California. Because I was jealous of your evil relative and needed one of my own so of course Hollywood is the place to go." Her fight against gravity was more successful this time and she ended up flopped over the arm of the bench facing Wanda. "I don't teleport. I fly? Sorta."

"But you already tried out the whole having the evil relative thing," she responded and winced as she slid the rest of the way down to the ground with a soft thump. "Though anything is probably better than Magneto-purple-is-so-not-your-color. And being able to fly at all is, as those younger than us would say, cool."

"This one is blood. She's my cousin but she's my sister because her parents adopted me when my parents died. She ran away from home as a teenager and now is some kind of uberbusiness woman." Lorna blinked, "My life is a soap opera."

"Is she an evil uberbusiness woman?" Wanda asked. "We need to have special t-shirts about evil family members. There's enough for a club! We could get discounts to places, I think."

"I'm not sure. Sofia thinks she is." Lorna yawned. "The record is unclear though. Got files. Lots. Sofia works lots."

"Well, Sofia is a smart one but..." Wanda grunted as she forced herself to stand, arms flailing a little bit as she fought to regain her balance. "Won't know until you see. And for that to happen...plane! Flight! So to bed which means walkies..." Tottering over, she stopped in front of Lorna and wiggled her hands at her.

Lorna stared at Wanda's hands uncomprehendingly for a moment, her own fingers wiggling slightly while she tried to get traction on the thought in her alcohol lubricated brain. "Oh! Walkies!" She grabbed Wanda's hands and very nearly pulled the older woman down on top of her in her attempt to pull herself up. Luckily, Lorna was quite the fly-weight and Wanda prevailed.

"Whoops..." They nearly tumbled backwards once Lorna was on her feet but managed to stay up. Barely. They were supporting each other like a drunken weeble wobble. "Feel like we're doing some adult version of that race where you tie your legs together and have to run down a field. I think I'm leaning too much..."

"No, that's Betsy and Chim. They were leaning too much. On their faces. You gotta lean less than me because I'm shorter and the change in altitude could kill me." That made sense in Lorna's head but not so much when it came out of her mouth.

Wanda straightened and when they didn't fall over, beamed. "There, that is better. No death via altitude, um, changes. I would get the sad face, I think."

"No sad face! Too many sad faces recently!" Unsteadily, Lorna hooked her arm into Wanda's and navigated her way to stand beside her. "Okay. So...home is...that way? Or...that way?" Lorna looked around confused then up at the stars. "There's me, so that's North...that way!"

"If we get lost in the woods and have to forage for berries and squirrels, I lay the blame aaaallll at your feet." But she followed Lorna's lead, keeping up with her easily. "I doubt squirrel would taste very well...though you! You're a cook! You could make them taste not so, um, squirrel-y."

"Stew. You can make squirrel stew." Lorna screwed up her face in concentration, "Probably."

"Roasted squirrel on a stick!"

"Shredded squirrel in a leaf roll with a berry sauce!"

Now she was giggling madly. "Squirrel a l'orange!"

"Squirrel marsala on a bed of baby greens!" Lorna stumbled and considered seriously if the dish would require basil.

Right as Wanda was about to spout out another potential for their new line of food, a squirrel scampered across the road, taking time to chitter at them in irritation before scampering up the nearest tree. She turned to stare at Lorna, ignoring how her ankles felt like jell-o. "I have no words."

"Squirrel tartar with walnuts?" Lorna suggested finally.

"We are going to die in our sleep. Death from squirrels. Squirrely death. Death a la mode! Wait, that one did not make any sense at all..." Wanda shook her head and pointed in the direction the mansion was in. Hopefully. "To the Batcave!"

"Batcave? Okay but you have to wear the pixie boots and spanky pants this time."