Ororo and Nathan - Yosemite, Wednesday

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After another day spent climbing, Nathan and Ororo sleep out under the stars in order to make sure they get an early start on El Capitan in the morning. The two of them wind up having a rather serious conversation around the fire.


As she settled down on the loamy ground, Ororo considered the phrase 'physically exhausted'. Though she was incredibly fit, it seemed that the muscles used while climbing a sheer mountain face were not the same muscles used when fighting egomaniacal villians on a weekly basis. Muscles she hadn't even remembered she had protested at every movement, and she only hoped they would have calmed by the next day so that she would be able to move. "Please tell me you are at least the slightest bit sore," she directed at Nathan, who was coaxing a small, flickering flame into existence in their firepit. "Otherwise I am afraid I can no longer call you 'Old Man'."

"My knees are screaming in agony," Nathan admitted easily, "and I think I wrenched my back a little when I slipped on that last pitch. I'm fine," he reassured her lightly. They had spent the day climbing one of the less popular routes on Sentinel. Ororo might have handled Half-Dome beautifully, but you didn't go right from it to El Capitan the next day. Unless you were feeling particularly masochistic.

"Oh, good. Then I do not feel so bad. Mentally, at least. Physically I think I have rarely looked forward to sleep so much." She was exaggerating, but only a little. "It was a lovely climb, though."

"I'm still eager to see what you think of El Capitan when you're actually standing at the base of it," Nathan said, smiling briefly as the fire started to spread through the kindling. "It looks bigger, close-up." He leaned back away from the firepit, shifting backwards to sit on his unrolled sleeping bag. Ororo had suggested they didn't need to worry about the tent, given that she could make sure it didn't rain on them. Nathan looked upwards, the smile lingering, and had to admit that he rather liked the idea of sleeping under the stars.

Bigger close-up? Dear goddess... Despite the slight dread Nathans' words created in her, Ororo smiled, watching as a beetle clambered over a nearby rock determinedly. She couldn't deny that being out there was doing wonders for her mental state; though she wanted to complete their trip, she wasn't dreading going back to the mansion anymore.

Nathan stretched his legs out along the sleeping bag, wincing as his knees protested. "I am getting old," he said, still lightly, as he leaned back on his elbows - only to have the shoulder that had been dislocated in Mexico add its complaints. Laughing softly, he settled for lying down, resting his head against his pack. "Although forty-one's not old, really. It's just all the punishment I've taken in my life."

"And yet you still add to it. I suppose that must mean it is worth it," she remarked.

"I wonder sometimes, really," Nathan murmured, more than half-seriously. "Every time I get out of bed and whimper, and every time Angelo drops the pill bottle on my desk as soon as he walks in the door..."

"And yet you could not see yourself not doing it." Ororo smiled, feeling the clouds start to shift overhead and nudging them away gently. "Not necessarily in the sense that there is nothing else to be done in life, but... what else could feel so good? What else could make such a difference?"

"True," he conceded. "I spent all those years being used, then misusing what I was because I was too angry and damaged to know any better... I'm not trying to redeem myself or anything, I think I'm past that particular misconception. But every time I do something worthwhile, with the team or with Elpis, it makes it easier to... live with all those years."

Ororo nodded; it was good to hear Nathan speaking that way, as it often worried her that too many team members had an unrealistic view of their own lives and their work with the X-Men. "As well it should. There is nothing but good in what you do now. And I am glad you find satisfaction in it. Even if it does mean a few more aching joints in the morning."

Nathan waved grandiosely. "A small price to pay. Moreso when Moira comes home from Muir and complains bitterly that I'm too old and rickety to do my husbandly duty." He turned his head, grinning at her rather shamelessly.

"What, doing the laundry? I know clothes are heavy, Nathan, but I think you might be overplaying your hand just a bit..."

Nathan laughed aloud, looking back up at the stars. "I never wondered why you were able to hold your own with Remy, you know," he said after a moment.

This earned a curious glance for Ororo; though she had made no secret of her relationship with Remy, it wasn't something many people at the mansion talked about. At least, not to her face. "You make it sound like an adverserial relationship," she remarked, though there wasn't exactly a rebuke in her tone.

"Isn't it? You're fighting him fighting himself..." It wasn't quite flippantly said.

"Is it that apparent, then? I did not think anyone at the mansion paid particular attention to our... issues."

Nathan didn't answer for a moment, his lips twitching slightly. "'Ro.... I hate to tell you, but that was an educated guess." Which she had just confirmed. "I'm not that much of a snoop, and I haven't seen much of Remy lately. I do see you, and, well... you remind me of Moira a little. Moira years ago, and in ways that didn't really register with me at the time, mostly because I had my head lodged securely up my own ass."

She refrained from making any joking comments, as the conversation had obviously taken a more serious turn. "What ways are those?" she asked curiously then, drawing her legs up and resting her forearms on her knees.

"She always took me as I was, you know. Never approved of me doing mercenary work..." Nathan trailed off, pensively. "She and I have never talked about why she didn't disapprove more strenuously, you know? I wonder sometimes if she knew I wouldn't listen - and I wouldn't have, at the time. I was so angry, and so... battered, by everything that had happened. And Moira had this half-crazed mercenary showing up periodically on Muir, always on the verge of a breakdown, usually with a fresh gunshot wound or two, usually cursing at her. But she never turned me away. She kept taking me in, reminding me that I was a human being... she was strong enough to do that. And I think you are, too."

Ororo pressed her lips together, leaning forward to rest her chin on her knees. "Did you know, at first I thought it would be easier? With nothing to hide in regards to what we do, and where those bruises came from, and why we are angry... but it only comes with a completely new set of issues."

"If it was easy, it wouldn't be worth anything," Nathan pointed out. "And being honest just means that you have to deal head-on with the challenges. You can't gloss them over."

"As much as we may want to..." she murmured.

"I'm a bad person to talk to about how much honesty is too much. Psi-link and all. Different standards entirely." Nathan was quiet for a long moment. "But there are still boundaries there. We know maybe more than we should about what the other's thinking, feeling, wishing they could hide. That doesn't necessarily mean that Moira calls me on it every time, or vice versa."

"You and Moira... Scott and Jean... sometimes I wonder if those of us who aren't mindlinked have any chance at successful communication," 'Ro said with a tiny smile. "Though it isn't so much that I do not know what is in his head but that I do not understand it."

"Do you need to?" He waved a hand before she could respond. "Not a flippant comment. Can you live with not understanding?"

She considered this for a moment, then gave a decisive nod. "Yes, I can, if there is also respect there. Respect for one another's decisions, and the way we choose to do things. Understanding would be nice, but I know that it may also be impossible."

"Just make sure he talks to you, 'Ro. Understanding may be impossible, but it doesn't hurt to try." Nathan was pensively silent for another long moment, staring up at the stars. "Time goes by too easily. If you're not careful, you look up and you've wasted years..."

"Not completely wasted, if they're what brought you to this point. But I understand what you mean, and trust me... I will try my best at understanding. I would like very much to be able to."

Nathan waggled a finger at her. "Don't take it all on yourself, either!" he said more sharply, but the tone was softened by the smile he was wearing. "Moira was too patient with me. Yes, I needed some of those years to grieve, and to come to the realization that if I didn't change the way I was living it was going to kill me, but-" He cut himself off with a helpless gesture. "I don't know what I'm saying. I suppose I just want to see the two of you happy. Even if I wanted to drown him, last week."

"I will be sure to keep you two away from the lake in the future," Ororo murmured, her thoughts obviously elsewhere. By now the fire was crackling merrily, giving off just enough heat to offset the cool night air - not that she minded one way or another, but it was probably pleasant for Nathan.

"I wanted to drown you last week, too. Why do you think I reassured you that I wasn't going to get you killed on a mountain this week?" was the irrepressible reply.