xp_logs | Kurt and Father Michael, Tuesday morning

Kurt is visited by his confessor and gets a little reassurance.

The rules of mourning forbade Kurt to leave the camp, and truth be told, he didn't much mind. It was a chance to catch his breath, to catch up with everything he'd missed. There was one visitor he'd been waiting for, though, knowing he'd come as soon as he could.

The man who entered the camp that morning did so quietly, without fanfare or drawing attention to himself - he knew things were already disrupted and the last thing he wanted to do was create more ripples. But upon receiving word of the Szardos clan's loss, he knew he needed to come. As he picked his way across the dewy ground, setting his cane carefully down on the wet leaves, he smiled a little at the familiar blue shape waiting for him. "Kurt," Father Michael said, with a sad smile. "~My condolences for your loss.~"

Kurt looked up from studying some creature in the grass at his feet and returned the smile. "~Thank you, Father. For that and for coming.~"

"~I came as soon as was allowed,~" he replied. Reaching Kurt, he studied the younger man carefully. "~It has been a hard time. As always, you carry the bulk of the burden on your own shoulders.~"

Kurt looked back at him squarely. "~Someone must. My brother mourns too, and makes ready for his responsibilities. And my little Jimaine... she will have her tasks as well.~"

"~And when you return to the school, and your responsibilities there?~" the old priest asked, gently prodding as always.

Kurt smiled faintly. "~I do not know when that will happen. Or if. I... can be replaced there, in all things that require my presence every day. I will keep in touch, of course."

"~You feel it is time to give up your life there?~" Father Michael settled down with a small noise of effort onto a nearby tree stump, the cane clasped in his hands. "~To return to your roots?~"

"~I am not sure~", Kurt admitted. "~But I feel I have been away too long to leave again now, when I am so recently taken back. And for now, at least, I am needed here.~"

"~We are all needed somewhere. Sometimes, it's a matter of deciding where we feel we need to be.~"

"~I have been torn~." He raised his eyes to the sky as he made that confession. "~I missed this place, these people, for so long. I cannot leave them just yet. New York was home for those years, this was home long before I ever went there... I do not know, Father Michael. Would you advise either way?~"

The old man sighed, shaking his head a little ruefully. "~I can advise, but not either way - that choice must come from you. Duty and responsibility, those are important things, but they are not the only things in our lives. Listen to your heart, as well as your conscience. Decide which place is yours, for this time.~"

"~My mother told me, before she died, not to live only for duty~", Kurt said reflectively. "~But I fear whichever way I choose, that must take a large part in the decision.~"

"~But not the only part.~" Father Michael looked over the camp, those who were abroad subdued. And yet there was a sense of relief as well. The torch had been passed. "~Your brother, your sisters... how do they cope with things?~"

"~Gem- Amanda has left us. She returned to New York almost a week ago. Stefan and Jimaine are... keeping themselves busy, with their new duties to learn. Neither of them was expecting it so soon, if at all, I think. Meggan is confused, but otherwise well, I think.~"

The priest nodded, not missing the correction. "~In such a case, no-one expects leadership to come so soon. Your mother, she was unwell for a time?~"

"~It seems so. Though she concealed it as far as she could. She always feared to seem weak.~" He looked down. "~I knew nothing of it, until this last crisis.~"

"~Which is a weakness in itself, that fear. If we cannot ask for help from those close to us, especially those we labour for, we only put ourselves - and them - at further risk.~"

"~And so it turned out. I told her I forgave her, before she died, and it was true, but... I find I cannot forget. She almost killed Amanda, and she used Jimaine to do it. Though she was not herself, I fear for her now.~"

"~Her soul is in God's hands now, but if there is forgiveness, no-one can be truly lost.~" Father Michael's hands flexed on the worn wood of his cane.

"~She had mine and Amanda's~", Kurt said softly. "~And she asked it, at the end. That must be enough.~"

"~That is for God to know, but I believe you may be right, my son.~" The old man shifted his hand to cover Kurt's briefly. "~I have faith.~"