xp_logs | Kevin & Jim | 11 am Monday

Jim's playing therapist to Kevin, in his way

What was it like to not have manners? Kevin couldn't help wondering this as he walked side by side with Haller toward their destination which was entirely unknown to Kevin. And how did people end up without manners? Were they simply not raised with them? Did they have them and decide to rebel against them? Did they lack morality? Did they lack conscious? Did they care nothing for fellow human being s? Kevin couldn't help noticing that he kept talking to people lately. It wasn't that he wanted to, it was just that he couldn't manage to be an asshole and brush people off when they spoke to him. It wasn't polite. If nothing else, Kevin was generally polite. Other people managed to brush people off, be rude, tell people they didn't want to be bothered with to fuck off and any number of other things. Kevin, however, did not do these things. Kevin couldn't even conceive of how to do these things. For this very reason when Haller had asked for his help in some grounds maintenance Kevin had agreed. To be honest, he wasn't overly thrilled with the prospect of mowing the lawn or whatever it is the older guy had in mind, but he hadn't been able to think of a single substantial reason to say no so he had said yes.

If only he had fewer manners he wouldn't end up mowing lawns or raking leaves or whatever this was about. Some things, however, were irrevocably drilled into his head.

Jim walked on a bit ahead of the boy, sizing up the atmosphere. Kevin's silence, while hardly hostile, was both telling and expected; the smalltalk had tapered off fairly rapidly. Having strung the boy along this far, Jim decided it wouldn't hurt to lay down the parameters of the day.

"Just in case you've been wondering," the counselor said without turning, "no, I am not going to ask you about your feelings."

Kevin turned and gave Haller a curious raised eyebrow. "Well, tha's good since Ah wouldn' be so inclined ta be discussin' 'em with ya." His tone was more polite than a person would expect to accompany such a statement, but there was hardly a hostile vowel in the sentence. "So'm Ah gonna git ta find out whatcha need me ta do far as this helpin' goes?" Maybe Haller just liked to keep him in the dark. Some people got a sadistic glee out of that.

Jim gave Kevin a lopsided smile as he passed through a brief cast of shadow. "Sorry about the disclaimer. Since I know you've run into Xavier's famously blasé attitude about manslaughter, with my job I thought it might be better to clear the air right off. I'm not planning on making a big deal about it. My sensitivity on the subject's a little heightened, having been there myself."

They turned a bend in the path. The telepath slipped his hands out of his pockets and gestured to something further ahead. "Anyway, as for what we're doing -- we're here."

They could have gone no further regardless. A sizable tree had fallen across the path, crashing into the brush on the other side, shearing branches from hapless trees. Propped against the trunk was an axe.

Kevin said nothing about everyone's blasé attitude toward manslaughter, feeling if he got started he'd possibly not stop for some time. He thought, perhaps, people accepted it a bit too easily and weren't truly giving the dead the sort of respect they deserved. The respect any person deserved when they died, that is.

When they came upon the fallen tree it didn't take Kevin long to notice the axe. He gave Haller a wary look. "So ya done brought me out here ta kill me?" He was kidding, of course, though there was a wry tone in his voice that suggested this was perhaps the will of the powers that be in the school anyway.

"Nah, I wouldn't," the counselor replied easily. "This close to the school Professor Xavier would notice." With a slight smile he moved to the tree and squatted down beside the trunk. He rested one hand on the rough trunk, his long fingers working the bark in an assessing way. "So, this thing's got to be moved out of the way, obviously. It's also getting cold, so we should try to get some firewood out of it too, if we can. But chopping up whole trees take a while." Jim stood up and turned his mismatched eyes back to Kevin. "Unless you help soften it up first -- if that'd be all right with you."

Kevin smirked a little, his expression threatening to give way to a snicker but the threat turned up empty. "Hmm, yeah, 'e migh'. Maybe a county er two ove' would be better." He nodded to himself, that was clearly the way to go for his elimination. Maybe even another state over, though the states up here were a bit on the small side. Perhaps two states.

Raised an eyebrow at Haller, noticing the blue and brown eyes for the first time. He said nothing about them. "Ah, well, Ah..." Kevin shifted from one foot to the other, clearly a little uncomfortable with the idea. After all, he'd just gotten sentenced to prison at Xavier's because of his manifestation. On the other hand he'd told Haller he'd help and it would be mighty impolite for him to back down on that now. "Ah suppose Ah could help. Though, Ah dunno how fas' er slow it migh' spread once Ah touch it. Ah mean, Ah can' guarantee it'll jus' get 'soft,' y'know?"

Jim noticed the hesitation. He'd never had the most contact with Kevin, but the way the boy consistently covered himself -- in addition to the sort of power he had -- had made him suspect the boy wasn't very comfortable with his power, and he had a feeling that suspicion had just been confirmed. Jim couldn't blame him. What'd happened with his father was the sort of thing that could put you off your mutation for life. Which we're lucky enough to know all about. But still . . .

The telepath gestured to the trees around them. "It's okay, wood's a pretty abundant resource around here. We can afford to waste a little to experiment with your limits. Maybe try doing a spot every foot or so . . ." Jim nodded his head towards the axe, "and if that's no good, I just do it the old fashioned way. Sound doable?"

The words "experiment" and "limits" in the same sentence only increased Kevin's level of unease. Experiments didn't end up too well for him. Sure, they hadn't really experimented with his powers at Muir, but they'd done stuff with his DNA and everything just turned to ash immediately when they did. Somehow it wasn't encouraging. "Ah suppose Ah could try." Kevin focused on the blue eye, then the tree. His gaze went back up to the brown eye and then to the axe. Sure, it was doable. At least that's what he kept repeating to himself.

Kevin stared at his hand for a good three minutes in silence before he got up the nerve to start pulling at the fingers of his glove and eventually pull the entire elbow-length material off his arm. The air was cool against his skin and it made him shiver for a moment. Even though it was only his hand that had become exposed the fact that there was another person there made him tense and feel naked. Closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths, Kevin decided to get on with it.

He walked to the end of the tree and laid a fingertip to the bark a foot from where the trunk had broken at the bottom. At first nothing happened and his heart jumped into his throat, more confused than excited. He laid his hand flat on the trunk and once a little of his apprehension cleared the delayed decay flared to life and immediately consumed a two foot circle around his hand which dipped down half way through the trunk creating a bowl. That all happened in the half a heart beat it took for Kevin to yank his hand away. Oh, this was not going to be fun.

Jim grasped the handle of the axe and stepped forward. "Thanks, Kevin -- let me try now."

This was going to be difficult. Kevin's long hesitation at the beginning and the short, sharp jerk at the end were indicative of someone who was not at all comfortable with the situation. Did he ever practice with his powers? From the tension in the boy's thin body Jim didn't think so. Absurdly, he wished he could apologize -- Kevin was probably hating him by now. But Jim had agreed with Samson that this was an angle that needed looking into. Much as he wished it were otherwise, Jim could respect Kevin's desire to keep his grief private. The cause of it, unfortunately, couldn't be so easily dismissed.

Jim dipped the axe in a practice-arc. Half the trunk had been eaten away, and what remained was dry and porous. When he finally brought the axe down the wood snapped in one blow.

"Definitely easier," Jim said, resting the head of the axe in the dirt. He took a step back and gave Kevin an encouraging smile. "Again?" I owe this kid a trip to the movies or something.

Kevin nodded distractedly to Haller. He'd been trying to remember something they told him at Muir. It was something important. Well, not generally important but it was important for right now. It had bearing on the situation, Kevin just couldn't figure out what it was. Tension? No. Mood? No. Wait, maybe. No, probably not. He'd been searching his mind since he'd yanked his hand back but he hadn't found it yet and Haller wanted him to use his powers again.

Kevin's eyes discreetly traveled up the length of the tree, trying to figure out just how many more times this was going to happen. The answer he came up with was a none too comforting one of, a whole fucking lot. What he could remember, though, now that he thought about it, was Jay's feathers. He'd been so relaxed after that, watching the decomposition had been beautiful. Just a little touch. He'd already tried a little touch. Yes, but he'd also been really nervous. It'll be okay this time, he assured himself. It'd be fine.

With another deep breath Kevin stepped up about a foot from the new bottom and very, very slowly reached out toward the bark. The tree was bigger, denser, and more sturdy than Jay's delicate, red feathers. Taking that into consideration Kevin decided all five fingertips would be better. It was the barest of touches, the boy's hand freezing the moment he felt the roughness of the bark on his skin.

The effect this time was instantaneous. While the tree started to decay it was just slow enough to be able to watch the change and Kevin's head cocked to the side, eyes fixed on the effect of his touch. It was the rapid shift in the stages he liked to watch, like all of autumn compressed into these few moments. Ashes started to fall away from his fingers and Kevin took his hand back in a deliberate and steady motion not unlike the careful, steady steps of a small child carrying a china tea cup and saucer while trying not to trip and break it.

Kevin stared after at the spot where part of the tree had withered back, though only half as much area had been affected in the forty-five seconds it'd taken this time. Kevin's shoulders had relaxed some, dropping down and making his posture less obviously tense, though the tension was still very much present. "All yours," he finally said when he snapped his attention away from his fascination of the tree and back to Haller.

Better this time -- enough that the telepath felt he could venture a little cautious optimism that this experience might not be completely traumatic. Jim swung the axe again, drawing a light, almost hollow thunk as the dessicated pulp split.

"Thanks," Jim repeated. Again he stepped away from the branch and nodded, a clear invitation to continue.

The tension that near permanently sat knotted in Kevin's shoulders, back and neck unwound itself more the further down the tree they'd gotten. He kept playing with how lightly he'd touch the tree so he could watch the phases the wood went through to decomposition and eventual disintegration. About halfway through the tree's mutilation he finally remembered what he'd been trying to recall from Muir. They'd told him strong negative emotion tended to speed up the decomposition. He didn't know what the delay was about, but Kevin didn't want to think about it too much, it might give him false hope though he knew it wasn't possible to turn his powers off.

After remembering that catch with the strong emotions, Kevin decided he wanted to experiment. He figured out how fast the decomposition spread normally first, then he tried to slow it. It didn't work. No matter which way he tried it just didn't. He wanted to try to direct it, but he wasn't really sure if he could or how to try to in the first place. Oddly enough, he was feeling better than he had since coming back. Actually, about three quarters up the original tree he had started to feel happy, actually and genuinely happy. He hadn't felt such an emotion since before he manifested. He didn't know why but he was feeling more relaxed and happier than he had in years. It brought his more playful side to the surface and caused him to try to decay patterns and shapes into the tree. At one point very near the end he'd nearly succeeded in some direction when he'd caused the decay to splinter out like a spiderweb from his hand. Once he'd realized he'd accomplished something it was over, though and the normal progression of decomposition occurred. That was a little disappointing.

Reaching the top of the trunk, Kevin looked up to all those branches sprouting from the top of the tree. "What're we gonna do with tha' part," he asked as he turned his full attention to Haller as the guy finished hacking up the last batch of wood.

Jim drew back, wiping the back of his hand across his forehead as he glanced at the boy. His body language was looser, more open, and his tone was no longer slightly closed. Kevin was definitely more relaxed than when they'd begun. Astonishingly so, actually, considering how uncomfortable he'd been. The willingness to experiment . . .

On impulse, Jim set the axe down and waved at the leafy branches. "I think we've got enough already. Want to finish it off?"

Kevin shrugged. "Migh' as well," he said. His tone had changed. He sounded obviously friendly, not just the vaguely friendly tone of politeness he usually had. "Seems unfair ta leave 'im there. I's gotta be a bi' emasculatin' ta be lying there, jus' a head after someone done chopped up yer whole body." Kevin shook his head, his expression pitying. "Shame."

Crouching down, Kevin tilted his head to the side. He rested his hand flat against the middle of the cleaved trunk. His concentration was trying to direct the decomposition into a tunnel. It didn't really work like he wanted it to. The spread seemed to tunnel down the length but it spread outward irregularly. It took almost seven minutes for the entire thing to crumble just to dust but as long as Kevin didn't move the decomposition spread. It got to a point where it was just ash he was touching but whatever it was that make his skin kill things seemed to spread anyway.

When he stood up he was rubbing his fingers against his palm with the ashes between. "I's funny, touchin' things. Ah never touch nothing but my gloves really, an' mahself." Kevin shrugged and wondered if maybe he'd forgotten what things feel like. Things like cotton and silk and fur and hair and skin. His own skin and hair wasn't the same as skin and hair on other people, he remembered that much. They felt different. He just didn't really remember what they felt like. Words like soft, hard, coarse, and so on had lost a lot of meaning to him.

"Uh," he looked at the massive amount of wood piled all over. "How're we gettin' that back ta tha mansion?"

Jim glanced at the jumble of the dismembered trunk, then swung his gaze back to Kevin. "These I can get later -- maybe try some practice with my telekinesis. Just not with an audience. I'd rather keep my promise about not inviting you into the woods to bring about your demise." Jim's smile went self-deprecating. "How're you doing? That was a lot of work. Feeling tired?"

Kevin's eyebrows shot up at the mention of his demise. He thought it'd be impolite to ask about that, though he was very tempted to do so. Cool guy but may accidentally pummel someone with firewood when using telekinesis, check. "Oh, well, Ah'm fine." Was he supposed to be tired? Kevin actually felt a bit invigorated, like after a really good swim or something. He felt like he'd expended an excess of built up energy and was just left with a normal amount of energy now. His entire face was brighter, more open, more friendly, than it'd ever been while he was at Xavier's, both this time and the last time. "Should Ah be tired? Ah feel good, actually."

"Mutations are different. Sometimes different circumstances give you a charge -- I know Mr. Summers gets a boost from being out in the sun." Though that was storing, not expending energy, which is what Jim had assumed Kevin was doing. Maybe this was like the endorphine rush that came from heavy exercise. Not that he had the background to understand the science behind Kevin's power, but it was something to keep in the back of his mind.

Still, Kevin seemed . . . Jim hesitated to use the word "happy," but certainly in a better mood. At this point, that was more than enough to count as progress.

The tall man slipped his hands back in his jacket pockets and nodded back towards the trail. "I think this counts as an honest day's work. Lunch?"

Kevin started back down the trail when it was indicated with the nod. "Ah don' think it counts if all Ah did was touch a tree a lot." He gave the other guy a lopsided grin. "Migh' count as one fer you, though. Unless maybe ya jus' really like choppin' up wood an' stuff. Migh' not coun' then." He seemed to think about this for a few moments before finally shrugging, not having come to a decision if that'd still count. "Lunch soun's good. Who passes up on food anyway? Crazy people, those tha only ones." Kevin gave a nod, agreeing with himself.

"And not all of us, either," Jim agreed. "I'm sure the sane people have something prepared." He paused for a split-second, assessing the odds, then decided to take the chance. He gave Kevin a light pat on his well-covered back.

Kevin didn't even flinch in response to the contact. He registered it in the back of his mind and went through the risk but decided the risk of someone touching his back with its three layers of material on it was relatively risk free. His only reaction was to Jim's words. Kevin looked over, an eyebrow raised in a somewhat sarcastic expression. "Ya'll inferrin' we ain't 'xactly 'sane' there?"

Jim laughed. "I refuse comment on the grounds I may incriminate myself." He turned towards the mansion. "Now, c'mon, I think Lorna and Dani made some cider."

Kevin shook his head at him and laughed. "So long as Ah got me some company in tha ward while Ah'm bouncin' 'round mah padded cell then s'all good." Hey, a prison that came with cider, who many other convicts got that?