Forge & Jay, Monday morning

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

Jay drops a bit of a bomb on Forge, who does not react supportively, and a lot of dirty laundry gets aired.



"And so it is..." Jay strummed his guitar, a hum following his words. A crumpled music sheet sat nearby, discarded because he found he could sing better without it, without writing the notes. The next words flowed naturally, breaking off mid sentence when he fell a little short. The music drifted through the open window like a cool autumn breeze, gently lifting the drapes like two lovers in a caress. Seated in the empty rec room, lounging on a leather bound chair, his fingers worked automatically with the acoustic and the pressure of writing the song down was pushed aside like a responsibility purposely ignored.

Following the music, Forge wandered down the hall and stuck his head into the rec room. It was a bit chilly with the open window, and he had to remind himself that Jay didn't get cold as easily as everyone else. Shivering briefly, he wandered in and leaned against the wall. "Something new?" he asked, tucking his hands into his pockets. "Anything good?"

The interuption broke him from the meloncholy reprieve. He looked up, regarding his friend with conflicting emotions. "Nuttin' concrete," he replied evasively without elaborating. Inclining his head, he tried for another set of chords, pulling the interest away from his current song. It hadn't been country, so he wasn't sure it even sounded good in the first place. This song was light plucking on the strings, so it didn't hinder what he was about to say. "So wha've ya been up ta?"

Forge moaned slightly at the thought of his insane week. "Crazy load of coursework - it would figure most of my Business Law classes would shove the bulk of our reading on us the week I was off saving the world. Training, eh," he see-sawed a hand back and forth, "the Danger Room is a piece of cake, although eventually Scott or Ororo is bound to realize that you literally can't surprise me with it. But on the upside, I found out that one of my patents for artificial myocardial stimulators is in the FDA approval process, so that's a big plus. So yeah," he gave a lopsided shrug and a smile, "not much."

"Training.." he repeated Forge faintly and nodded, his mind a little elsewhere. "Myocardial .. wha? Forge can't ya speak english fer one minute? Stupify it fer me if ya haf'ta. Sometimes Ah feel like yer just tryin' ta make me look dumb." And patience had a way of taking flight when Forge started talking about his projects.

Forge rolled his eyes dramatically. "Take all the fun out of it, why don't you? Myocardial stimulators. Tiny little devices you can implant by someone's heart to help regulate sinoid rhythm. Pacemakers. Ones that can be injected instead of having to resort to open-heart surgery."

"Please, ya get plenty o' fun doin' other things." Like threaten Kevin. He decided not to say that. "Nice. Ah'm pretty certin' someone'll take tha injection rather then tha surgery. Ah know Ah would. Tell me somethin', ya like being on tha team?"

"Technically I'm not on the team, I'm still a trainee..." Forge trailed off, realizing that Jay probably wasn't in the mood for explaining details. He shrugged one shoulder and nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I've only been out in the field the once and it was absolutely terrifying, but I've had the chance to help out in other ways. I mean, on the one hand I can use my abilities quietly to better society - my inventions save lives. On the other, I can go out and actually take action to make things better. I can, therefore I should. So yeah, I like it."

"So? That still makes ya on tha team technically." He frowned, not appreciating what he thought was an underlying tone. "Ah just wanted ta know more 'bout it," he said defensively. "Maybe, ya know, ta know wha' Ah'm talkin' 'bout when Ah go an' talk ta Scott or Ororo."

"Oh, well it..." Forge stopped dead and did a visible double take. "Are you freaking kidding? Jay, this is serious, it's not just a hobby to fool around with and then bail on again when something new catches your interest. What in the world would make you think it's a good idea?"

"Ah, ya know what," Jay barked, standing up and grabbing his crumpled paper. "Fuck ya, an' tha horse ya rode in on. It's a good ol' idea when everyone else wanna do it, but when Ah decide Ah need a little fuckin' direction in ma life, ya think it's just a hobby."

"Direction's one thing, Jay. But you have to admit, this is kind of coming out of nowhere," Forge protested. "You might think it's a great idea but as we've seen lately, your perception of things isn't exactly matching up with the reality some times."

"Thanks Daddy, Ah'll remember tha' when Ah go apply. An' wha' does that mean anyway? Ya sure got a funny way o' lookin' out fer me Forge."

"Oh, so that's what this is about," Forge said, folding his arms across his chest. "I try and keep you from walking right into another inevitable train wreck, and suddenly I'm overstepping boundaries. You know what, don't worry, Jay. Won't happen again. Whatever you get yourself into here, I'm sure you've earned it," he said bitterly. "You've done a damn fine job of looking out for yourself so far, after all."

"So tha' nice heartfelt Ah'm-happy-fer-ya was just bullshit ya 'ere just feedin' ta me, huh? Well, thanks a lot, now at least Ah know how' ya really feel about it." He pulled his guitar off of him, hanging onto it by the neck, and stuffed the paper into his pocket. A dozen words went through his head, things he wanted to say, could have said, but nothing fought well enough against his articulate, condescending friend.

"I don't feel anything about it, you pink-feathered nincompoop," Forge replied. "I think you're being an idiot. Sure, you're happy. That'll fix everything. Love conquers all, huzzah," he said sarcastically.

"Ma feathers ain't pink, ya Jerk." He didn't know where this was coming from but his expression was pained from the hurtful words Forge threw at him. "Ah expected somethin' different fromya Forge. Maybe Ah' expected too much." He made his way to the door, feathers falling behind him. "Ya wonder why yer single, well, this is why."

"If you're expecting unconditional support, get a puppy," Forge stated. "And if you think the team is going to make you feel complete, then go for it. But if it doesn't - if it's yet another commitment you're going to run from when it doesn't turn out perfectly, you're not just going to be letting yourself down this time. You already ran for the hills once when you had a falling out with Kyle, how far you think Kevin's going to take you? Nashville? Los Angeles?"

He stepped in Jay's way, pointing a finger at his former roommate without making contact. "And you think you understand why I'm single? You don't know the first thing about it, Jay. Not the first goddamn thing."

"Kyle wasn't ma fault, an' Kevin ain't like 'im. Yer just too damn blind ta see that." He stopped in his tracks, and narrowed his eyes at the finger pointing at him. "Ya seem ta think yer so fuckin' great Forge an' ya look down at anyone who follows their heart an' not the technology at their fingers. Well, maybe ya should take a good ol' look at yerself, an' stop criticising me." He emphasized his last words with a pointed poke to Forge's chest.

"I have taken a good look at myself," Forge said, scowling and stepping away from Jay. "I know exactly what following my heart gets me, and I chose reason instead. You want to judge me for that, you think it makes me cold, makes me weak? Screw you, Jay. I say it makes me invincible. I don't need to explain it to you, time will prove me right. Eventually."

He swept his hand towards the door. "Far be it from me to get in the way of your dramatic exit."

"Ah think it makes ya bitter an' lonely. Tha's wha' it does. But if ya wanna think yer invincible, then fine, Mr. Invincible, ya just keep on thinkin' tha' way. But fuck if Ah'm gonna sit back an' have ya pullin' threats on ma boyfriend. Ah'm sorry Ah ever told ya."

"Oh am Ah allowed ta leave now? Ya givin' me permission now?" He snorted, continuing to the door. He couldn't believe this. What was up with Forge?

Forge laughed. "Your boyfriend. Yeah, okay. Don't worry, no threats necessary. Like I said, you guys have earned whatever you've got."

Jay disappeared into the hallway, but he was sure to make his voice carry. "Ya know what, just got ta tha Halloween party as yerself. Ah'm sure none of 'em has seen a jerk quite like yerself."

Forge watched Jay leave, pondering that for a moment. "Hm," he said to the empty room. "That went better than expected."