xp_logs | Kevin & Jay | Late Monday night

Jay's not home so Kevin waits up for him and refuses to let Jay wander off without talking to him. Late in the day after Jay's talk with Forge and his talk with Terry (which is forthcoming).

Tired and feeling miserable, Jay made his way quietly down the hallway and paused at the door of their suite. He pressed the flat of his palm to the door, grasping the knob with his free hand and listened. He heard nothing. The room was silent, which could only mean that Kevin was asleep. Turning the knob, Jay blew out a sigh that caught in his throat at the sight of Kevin sitting on the couch. "Wha' re ya doin' up?" he asked, his voice low as he let the door close behind him.

The knob turning made enough noise to catch Kevin's attention and he shut off the soldering iron in his hand. There was only one light on in the entire suite and it was a lamp on the table beside the couch where he was camped out. Despite the dimness, he could tell Jay wasn't exactly looking happy. "Ya weren't back," he nodded at the open door to Jay's empty room. "So Ah waited. You okay?"

He made his way into the kitchenette and fetched himself a glass of water, avoiding eye contact, or any contact period. He didn't want Kevin to know how upset he was, but he was never very good at hiding how he felt. "Ah'm fine. Just tired. Go ta bed, ok?" He liked the dim light around the room. It suited his mood.

Kevin frowned at that. Jay wasn't one to avoid eye contact. Actually, Jay wasn't one to avoid a whole lot of things that involved something of his meeting something of Kevin's. Hands, eyes, lips, something. But he was, well Kevin didn't know what it was but it wasn't Jay. Kevin set the warm sculpture down on the table beside where he'd placed the soldering iron and pulled his gloves on before going to Jay. He picked it way around the couch without any rush, saying as casual as usual even when he came within a few feet of the winged man. "So come wit' me." It wasn't an offer Kevin made often. If anyone was trying to curl up with the other for the night it was usually Jay.

He filled the glass, and lifted it to his mouth. He paused, thinking better of it and set the glass down, choking back how he felt. He had held off Terry and used the ice cream as a distraction as much as the cool weather outside. But now, his skin warmed to the room, and he didn't have the cold breeze outside to chill his beating heart. His wing closest to Kevin shifted away, shying away from being touched. For whatever reason, he didn't want it. Maybe it was what Forge had said, or maybe he felt like he would crumble at it. On any other day, he would have jumped at the offer, but right now, misery had a suffocating hold on him. Tight enough that he could write an amazing song without effort.

Kevin frowned when the wing leapt away from him. There was a fleeting hurt expression in his eyes for a moment before it vanished. Though he did stop and didn't get any closer to Jay. He didn't want to push. Yes he did, he just wasn't sure what was up. "Jay?" his voice was softer than usual. The problem with Kevin being quiet was it always brought his voice down to a near whisper given how soft spoken he was to begin with. "Ya don' hafta, Ah jus', jus' wanted ta wake up wit' ya is all." Which was the truth, really. As complicated as just sleeping together could be, Kevin liked waking up and seeing Jay there beside him, particularly since he tended to wake up before Jay. Thing was, the other guy seemed fine when Kevin had seen him earlier in the day. He wasn't sure what happened or if he was to blame. Maybe he fucked something up again and he didn't even know it this time.

His chest tightened and he felt like he couldn't breath. It really wasn't that big of a deal, was it? It shouldn't have been but it had its baring weight. He tilted his head back and sniffed, bringing a hand up to brush away the tears before they fell. He knew this was stupid. He was always stupid about stuff like this and couldn't just ride it out. The logical way. The cold logical way Forge did. "Maybe." it was all he could choke out.

The sniffing and the brushing at his eyes made Kevin worry. At first he fought the urge to get closer to Jay in case he didn't want Kevin closer. Then he decided that was fucking stupid and stepped closer to Jay, hands gently resting on his waist as Kevin pulled Jay closer to him as well. "Wha's wrong, Jay? Ya can't tell me it's jus' you tired 'cause Ah know it's not. Is't somethin' Ah did? Ya can tell me, ya know."

He fought it, resisting the touch and even pulled his wings back. But Kevin was stronger then him, even though he was taller and pulled in, chest to chest, against his boyfriend. Jay turned his head away, brushing his other hand across the other eye, sniffing. "It ain't ya or anythin' yer doing," he forced out. "Ah'm just bein' an.. just bein' stupid."

A level of tension simply evaporated at hearing it wasn't him. Kevin's hands slid along Jay's waist and under his wings until they found each other at the small of his back. They locked together, he wasn't going to let Jay pull away. Kevin knew his own strength though he rarely used it really. "Whacha bein' stupid about?" He didn't like the way Jay wouldn't look at him. He didn't like the way he tried to turn away. Jay never shied away from him. Stretching upward, Kevin laid a delicate kiss on Jay's temple, careful to not let more than his lips touch, which was a bit difficult with Jay's hair. "Keepin' it ta yerself ain't gonna help none, ya know. An' Ah don' mean ta let ya wallow."

It had been easier to keep a poker face around Terry because things were always light. Around Kevin though, he could feel his strength give in to those strong arms and surrender to the hands locked behind his back. Kev wasn't letting him avert his eyes well, and Jay inclined his head, suddenly finding a piece of fluff on Kev's chest very interesting. "Let's just go ta bed, al'ight? Ah don' wanna talk 'bout it."

"Only if yer comin' ta mah bed with me. Otherwise Ah ain't movin' none." His tone was still softer than usual, but it was also firmer than usual. He left no question at all in his voice if he meant it or not. He fully meant it. "Ya know, it's supposed ta be mah job ta make ya smile, but yer not gonna make tha' easy tonight, huh?"

"Fine. Ah'll come with ya." He wanted to come with Kevin, but he didn't want to upset his partner, and he knew it would. He just wanted comfort and waiting for Kevin's hold to relax so he could step out of it, link their hands together and walk to Kev's bed. He brought a hand to his mouth, biting his nail as he walked, angling his wings back so he didn't accidentally brush up against Kevin's face or hair.

Kevin sighed at the way Jay said that. He actually stopped them at his door and let go of Jay entirely. "Ah'm no' gonna make ya," her said after a moment of silence. He reached up and brushed his thumb over Jay's cheekbone and down his jaw. "Ah wan' ya to. Ah wanna know wha's wrong an' fix it, even if Ah can't Ah wanna try. Ah wanna find a way ta make ya smile." Suddenly Kevin backed Jay against the door frame, his hands cupping his boyfriend's face. "God, Jay, Ah wanna make ta no' look so sad 'cause Ah hate seein' tha' look on yer face but Ah don' know how ta chase it away. Ah don't even know if Ah can or if Ah'd manage to if Ah could."

He had been relieved to just start heading to bed and forget the night but Kevin's words made him falter and he inclined his head, his eyes dropping to the floor at the rough touch of the gloves. A feeling welled up again in his chest, and threatened to choke him. He was trying very hard not to give into his feelings but wavered at Kevin's attention to detail. He pleaded, wanting to know what was wrong and Jay didn't want to tell him. He knew the end result, but it didn't look like Kevin was going to let it drop. He brought the base of his palm up to his eyes again and brushed away more tears that were on the verge of falling, suddenly very frustrated. "It ain't ya Kev. It's Forge. He said a lotta shit things today. We sorta got inta a fight 'bout stuff."

Forge, great. Kevin's expression was clearly caught between a frown and something a bit more aggressively displeased. "No' 'bout me, Ah hope." He did not want to be the reason there was tension between the two friends. It was hard being shorter and the dangerous one times like this when he wanted to just wrap Jay in his arms and try to distract him so he couldn't remember why he was upset. Sadly, he had to consider the fucking logistical problems with doing that and therefore couldn't.

"Course it was 'bout ya. Ah thought ya were stretchin' tha truth. Not lying but maybe there was a misunderstandin'. Forge ain't usually like tha'." He could remember clearly what Forge said and how nasty he was about it. Since when did he deserve this? He placed his hands on Kevins chest, sliding down to his stomach, leaning back against the door. "Can we just go ta sleep now? Ah feel like shit."

Great. Now he was ruining friendships. Kevin was generally only used to destroying things when he touched them. His hands dropped from Jay and he took a step back, giving him a half-smile. It was a bit weak, though. "Yeah, we can go ta sleep."

Jay didn't let Kevin's one hand fall completely, catching it in his own and moving towards the bed. "Good." He didn't' want to talk about it anymore, nor did he speak another word. He dragged Kevin across the bed and climbed under the covers. Where normally he would strip down, Jay only kicked off his shoes and didn't bother to pull anything else off. He was too emotionally exhausted to care.

Kevin let himself be led, amused at how he was being led in his own room. He took the time to simply change into pajama pants as jeans were really, really uncomfortable to sleep in. He crawled in after Jay and without pause pulled his body against his own, wrapping his arms around Jay and hooking one leg around one of Jay's as well. Kevin was determined to be as entwined as possible. There was a protective feel to the way he held Jay against him, even as he brushed a kiss across his boyfriend's forehead.

He flopped down on his side, his wings hanging slightly off the bed. They needed little support from the way they sat and as Kev got situated underneath, so did Jay move closer. They could never be careless here, and yet, they couldn't seem to get any closer tonight. He craved this silent support, even though Kevin didn't know what exactly happened. His body shuddered and he lay very still while the tears flowed down his cheeks freely.

He had to fight the urge to frown again, he was doing that a lot tonight. Kevin distracted himself from the impulse by kissing as many of those tears as he could. The ones his lips couldn't catch he swept away with his gloved thumb. He knew he couldn't say anything to make it all better, so he just hummed. It was the only lullaby he knew, his mother having sung it to him when he was really young. The sound was quiet, soft, and surprisingly in key.

Closing his eyes, he could only think how stupid he felt and yet, couldn't pull himself away from Kevin's touch. Marveling how oddly beautiful the humming touched him, he made no attempted to even shift for comfort. He was in his comfort, wrapped in a blanket of his lovers body, and found some semblance of peace that edged him towards sleep. He thought it ironic that while he had promised to sing a lullaby to help his roommate sleep, it was Kevin who was doing the singing.