Operation: Shaboom: Hell is 1959
Jan. 9th, 2008 10:14 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsRemy and Illyana try another line of research, for another series of failures.
The Ford slowed down beside the gaggle of cheerleaders, and finally stopped at the corner. The door swung open in front of Illyana.
"Can I offer you a ride, little girl?" The Cajun voice from inside the car said.
The blondest of the cheerleaders, who was doing a rather poor job of pretending to be interested in any of the people she was talking to, looked down into the car with no small amount of hostility for someone who was ostensibly supposed to be filled with pep and cheer.
"He looks . . . dirty," one of the girls whispered a little too loud, resulting in nervous giggles overtaking any other comments.
"He is," Illyana said, forcing herself to sound cheerful. "But it's okay, my mom? She adopted him and taught him to brush his teeth. So today we're going over soap. See you guys later!" She slid into the car, taking awkward care to push her skirt into some semblance of order and closing the door with calculated force. "I hate it here. Let's leave. I hope whatever is here kills all the people. Everywhere."
"It is entirely possible." Remy ignored the comments from the cheerleaders. He'd been too long into the worst parts of the world to worry about opinions. Although, there was something inside the Ray Ludlow part of him that wanted to weep a little.
"How's de research into de high school? Any connections yet? Remy ready to get de fuck out of de ass end of time."
"Well, the quarterback? He really wants to take me out for a goddamn milkshake. I had to accidentally boil water in domestic arts and take a cup to his algebra class and spill it on his hand before he'd go to the doctor and leave me alone. And I know that the stupid version of me doesn't understand really simple things and didn't learn to tie her shoelaces until she was twelve." She crossed her arms sulkily. "But other than that, everyone is very happy. Which makes me very unhappy."
"Dere's something dat isn't right 'bout dis reality. It's just too ideal. Have you ever heard of a place dat echoes 'Happy Days' episodes?" Remy shook his head sourly. "For example, you de perfect cheerleader. Outside of a Barbie box, you ever seen dat happen?"
Something like offense crossed Illyana's face. "Well, I worked really hard, okay? I have to do backflips and cartwheels and -- crap." She actually pinched herself. "Yeah, it's really strange. You know what else? Nobody ever leaves. Okay, all these football games I'm supposed to freeze my ass off at, yelling about the football players throwing their stupid ball at each other? They play them all here. They never go away so that someone could build a trap and make sure the bus drives into it and let them starve."
"Dat's not natural. Other den de trap thing." Remy said, turning a corner. "I think dat Amanda has been completely sucked in; maybe Mark too. What if de longer we stay here, de more dis seems natural?"
"I will kill myself with whatever cheerfully-coloured implements are within reach," Illyana said decisively. She leaned on the car's window and sighed. "I think is that someone who hates us -- did we bring the list? They've probably cast a spell on us. A spell of eternal suffering. And my quota on that has been full for a while."
"Could it be magical? 'manda and Wanda haven't been able to figure dat angle if it possible." Remy said. "Could dis be an alternate dimension or something? Something so close dat we can't really tell de difference except for de details dat don't fit?"
Illyana frowned, trying to think through the incessant babble of her unwanted alter-ego in the background of her mind. "I don't think so. Did we go through a portal when we came in? I was busy with that thing I was doing on the way." She paused, then elaborated: "Ignoring everyone. But I guess it's possible, although in an alternate dimension you wouldn't think that the space would only include this hellhole. Hells usually like to be spread out. With lava, and pointy rocks. But it's more likely that someone cast a spell. Or is controlling us with a magical geas or something."
"Dat's yet 'nother potential villain." He pulled the car up along beside her house. "See what you can figure out. If dere's research you need, let me know and I'll dig it up for you. Also, make sure dat you keep spelling de team names right, neh?"
"Please die now," Illyana said pleasantly, and got out, slamming the door as loudly as possible.
The Ford slowed down beside the gaggle of cheerleaders, and finally stopped at the corner. The door swung open in front of Illyana.
"Can I offer you a ride, little girl?" The Cajun voice from inside the car said.
The blondest of the cheerleaders, who was doing a rather poor job of pretending to be interested in any of the people she was talking to, looked down into the car with no small amount of hostility for someone who was ostensibly supposed to be filled with pep and cheer.
"He looks . . . dirty," one of the girls whispered a little too loud, resulting in nervous giggles overtaking any other comments.
"He is," Illyana said, forcing herself to sound cheerful. "But it's okay, my mom? She adopted him and taught him to brush his teeth. So today we're going over soap. See you guys later!" She slid into the car, taking awkward care to push her skirt into some semblance of order and closing the door with calculated force. "I hate it here. Let's leave. I hope whatever is here kills all the people. Everywhere."
"It is entirely possible." Remy ignored the comments from the cheerleaders. He'd been too long into the worst parts of the world to worry about opinions. Although, there was something inside the Ray Ludlow part of him that wanted to weep a little.
"How's de research into de high school? Any connections yet? Remy ready to get de fuck out of de ass end of time."
"Well, the quarterback? He really wants to take me out for a goddamn milkshake. I had to accidentally boil water in domestic arts and take a cup to his algebra class and spill it on his hand before he'd go to the doctor and leave me alone. And I know that the stupid version of me doesn't understand really simple things and didn't learn to tie her shoelaces until she was twelve." She crossed her arms sulkily. "But other than that, everyone is very happy. Which makes me very unhappy."
"Dere's something dat isn't right 'bout dis reality. It's just too ideal. Have you ever heard of a place dat echoes 'Happy Days' episodes?" Remy shook his head sourly. "For example, you de perfect cheerleader. Outside of a Barbie box, you ever seen dat happen?"
Something like offense crossed Illyana's face. "Well, I worked really hard, okay? I have to do backflips and cartwheels and -- crap." She actually pinched herself. "Yeah, it's really strange. You know what else? Nobody ever leaves. Okay, all these football games I'm supposed to freeze my ass off at, yelling about the football players throwing their stupid ball at each other? They play them all here. They never go away so that someone could build a trap and make sure the bus drives into it and let them starve."
"Dat's not natural. Other den de trap thing." Remy said, turning a corner. "I think dat Amanda has been completely sucked in; maybe Mark too. What if de longer we stay here, de more dis seems natural?"
"I will kill myself with whatever cheerfully-coloured implements are within reach," Illyana said decisively. She leaned on the car's window and sighed. "I think is that someone who hates us -- did we bring the list? They've probably cast a spell on us. A spell of eternal suffering. And my quota on that has been full for a while."
"Could it be magical? 'manda and Wanda haven't been able to figure dat angle if it possible." Remy said. "Could dis be an alternate dimension or something? Something so close dat we can't really tell de difference except for de details dat don't fit?"
Illyana frowned, trying to think through the incessant babble of her unwanted alter-ego in the background of her mind. "I don't think so. Did we go through a portal when we came in? I was busy with that thing I was doing on the way." She paused, then elaborated: "Ignoring everyone. But I guess it's possible, although in an alternate dimension you wouldn't think that the space would only include this hellhole. Hells usually like to be spread out. With lava, and pointy rocks. But it's more likely that someone cast a spell. Or is controlling us with a magical geas or something."
"Dat's yet 'nother potential villain." He pulled the car up along beside her house. "See what you can figure out. If dere's research you need, let me know and I'll dig it up for you. Also, make sure dat you keep spelling de team names right, neh?"
"Please die now," Illyana said pleasantly, and got out, slamming the door as loudly as possible.
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