Lorna & Jay Saturday

[x-icarus.livejournal.com]

Backdated: Lorna tracks down Jay. Force feeding ensues.

The air smelled strongly of cinnamon and spices quite suddenly and that was all the warning he had. "Joshua Travis Guthrie," Lorna's voice snapped out stridently as the green haired woman appeared from nowhere and seized hold of Jay's ear. "Do you think I have time for this? Are you under the impression that I spend my days laying about eating chocolates and waiting for ungrateful mansion residents to put in an appearance?" There was a sharp tug and twist on his ear, "Up, up!"

Investigating sweet smells promised his taste buds that satisfaction would come in the form of a pie. He heard her voice before he saw her and then Lorna suddenly appeared. Like a viper, her hand snapped out and latched onto him. "Ah!" His wings flared and feathers strewn everywhere. "Ow!" he cried and quickly supplemented,"No m'ame! Ugh! OW!"

For a thin woman, she packed quite the wallop. "Don't mock me." She released his ear and planted her hands on her hips and frowned at him, "Look at you. Feathers everywhere. How long ago were you told to come talk to me about your diet? Christ, kids these days. Worse eating habits than me and that's saying something. Come with me. We're going to set things right."



"Ah wasn't," he whimpered, touching his ear like it was hot, burning from the twist. "Ah... awhile ago," he answered, not committing to a timeline. For him, it had almost been two months since he spoke with Ororo and she didn't make his supplements sound too good. He reddened at her pointing out the feathers, obviously embarrassed to have her lecture him in the hallway. "Ah'm fine. Ah just need ta ride it out," he said, trying to convince her otherwise. Of course he followed her like a dog that had done something wrong.



"Ride it out. Jesus, boys. Can't live with them and selling them as slaves is illegal." Her walk was a hurried as her chatter, the white chef coat speaking to the fact that she'd left whatever she'd been cooking in order to track him down. "It was awhile ago. There's nothing wrong with molting, the problem is feeding you while you're doing it. And if you're like every other boy on the planet, quality food doesn't pass your lips unless you've been force fed. There, sit." Lorna indicated a place at the kitchen table, the only spot not already covered in some form of food prep.


Jay plunked down into the seat with a thump. Slouching in a pouty manner, he surveyed all the prep going on. She sure was the conqueror of the kitchen, taking over every ounce of space she could. "Ya know, Napoleon didn' take up this much room when he marched." Wasnt' there a simpler means of cooking? Not that he didn't appreciate a good cook, and their cooking antics. Reaching over, Jay went to snag a taste of some odd looking batter, because everyone liked to have a lick at the batter, regardless of what it was.

"Napoleon didn't. His cooks did, they were French. And they were only serving soldiers, I have to suffer teenagers. " She slapped the back of his hand without looking back, "Keep your fingers out of my cooking. Your mother would be ashamed of you. I know she raised you better than that." She turned and handed him a glass of milk and took away the bowl of batter, transferring to the counter.



The slap stung, recoiling the hand to rub it and mouthed an 'Ow.' He had half a mind to try again but didn't at the mention of his mother. Lorna sounded a lot like her, which was why he saw her in such a high regard. He also avoided his mom like the plague when she got something like this in her head. "Thank ya," he said, taking the glass of milk and setting it down on the table. "So wha'cha cookin?"


"Today? A little of everything. We have more special diets here than...some place that has a lot of picky eaters. Damn, didn't think that one through. I talked to Amelia and Moira about you, my fine feathered friend. Something you might have known if you'd come to see me when I told you to. I don't know why everyone is so stubborn about these things." She bent to poke at something in the broiler. "You're a carnivore, right? Red meat's okay?




A little of everything, Jay mouthed to himself, mimicking Lorna to her back. "Ya did?" he asked, unbelieving. "Wha'd they say?" He could only hope that it was all good and nothing discriminating, though he didn't have the faintest idea what they would talk about, aside from dropping feathers. 'Ah don't like bird. Nuttin' with feathers please. Still can't get over seeing maself on tha platter." Jay slouched in his seat further, glancing at Lorna and then some mashed potatoes. Lorna. The mashed potatoes.


"That's white meat." She turned back to face him, leaning back against the counter. "You'll need to either change your diet while you're going through this or start on supplements. I can help with the first option. Is there anything other than birds that you just won't eat so that I can blithely ignore it if it gets in the way of a good recipe?"




"Oh. Ah knew tha'. Ah was just sayin'. There ain't nuttin' else Ah can think of." He looked up at her from his spot, and though he was taller then her, she could sure command his attention with just a flick of her wrist. His tongue rolled out at the thought of supplements, and he shook his head. "Ah don' think Ah could remember ta take supplements. Ah'd get tha days all confused an' stuff. Maybe, er, just how much of ma diet do Ah gotta change?" The whole reason for avoiding her in the first place. He'd end up eating some rabbit food or something.


"You need Vitamin A for one thing and calcium as well. But mostly you're looking at more protein, quite a bit more, in fact." She turned away again, checking whatever it was that she was cooking in the broiler. There were far too many scents in the kitchen to pinpoint what it was. She seemed pleased however and tugged it out, her body blocking the sight. "Which is why I asked. This would have been more complicated if you were like Karolina and refused all animal products."



"Yer not talkin' 'bout them protein shakes huh? Just meat? Cause Ah ain't doin' none of that packaged sh.. stuff." Jay shifted in his seat again, craning his head to see what she was cooking, slowing leaning over to see around her. "Well, Ah mean, Ah don't wanna eat anythin' weird, ya know? Like no grasshoppers or nuttin' like that. 'r anythin' scaly that crawls an' looks all snake like." He didn’t' think she would cook something like that, though she might if she was interested in proving a point.

"I think you're underestimating the potential of non-traditional forms of meat," she said, deceptively mild. From a pot on the stove she added something to the plate she was preparing, then another scoop of something else from a different source. "Here, eat." Lorna deposited the plate in front of him with the smallest of flourishes, like she couldn't bear to not indulge in at least something. "I hope you like your steak medium rare."



"Maybe Ah'm worried 'bout tha potential of not digestin' non-traditional forms o' meat an' throwin' up?" Jay made a face at the food, reluctantly picking up a fork and poking at it. The meal smelled beautiful and made his mouth salivate, but he kept a straight face. Or rather, he kept his poker face of disgust. "If Ah' eat this, am Ah gonna get a piece o' pie afterwards fer ma effort?"


"Oh, a challenge. I like challenges. They give me more license to torment. Just ask Mr. Haller." Lorna studied his face for a moment then raised one finger, "You eat that, and I won't start slipping dinosaur into your meals. How about that for a deal? It's nearly as good as getting pie."



"Ah thought there was some kinda rule about tormentin' tha helpless?" He cut a piece of the meal off, and put an elbow on the table, holding it up and inspecting it thoroughly. "Mmm, a lil' piece o' Jurassic Park huh? How do Ah know ya ain't doin' that right now? Could be just a taste o' Lorna's infinite quest fer vengeance." Jay sniffed it, having a feeling that she would scold his reluctance to eat her cooking. He knew he was walking dangerously on her line of patience. "Smells al'ight. Poison don’ really have a taste though? “ He put it in his mouth, talking with his mouth full, “Besides, Ah still want pie."