Jay and Forge Monday Mid morning

[x-icarus.livejournal.com]

Jay finds Forge on the stairs. The subject of joining the team comes up again. Jay gets defensive.

Towel still around his neck, Forge walked up the stairs from the sub-basement to the main floor of the mansion. Whether or not the last Danger Room session had been a bit punitive after his comments about the Iran mission, it had definitely run him through his paces. He was well aware and becoming more so by the day, that he was definitely at the bottom of the scale for the trainees when it came to physical skill, which was probably why Cyclops loved putting him through the exhausting drills. Either that or the X-Men's leader was really just a sadistic bastard.

Legs still sore, Forge shuffled into the foyer and glanced woefully at the large staircases leading to the second floor and, not for the first time, envied the teleporters who could just zap directly from the after-training report to their own suite for a shower. He took two steps, gave up, and sat down in the middle of the staircase to try and massage a charley horse out of his leg, cursing audibly.

Jay exited his suit, sauntering lazily down the hallway in comfortable faded jeans and a Toby Keith T-shirt spotting two self-cut holes for his wings to fit. In one hand, he clutched a list, in the other, a half filled water bottle that he was tossing around in the air, trying to catch behind his back. The effort of that was astonishing. He couldn't believe it took this much time to just throw it under his arm and over his shoulder to catch it again. Fifteen paces from the suite and he had nearly dropped it eight times in every failed attempt to do better than the last.

By the time he reached the stairs, minutes had passed chasing down the bottle and trying again. Only this time, the bottle rolled down the steps, past Forge to land on the landing and Jay was slow to follow it. "Hey," he started, and sat on the banister to slide down until he got to the step where Forge was. Dropping down, he went to fetch the water bottle and turned around, eyes scanning his friend. "Ya look like ya been run through tha ringer."

"And then some," Forge groaned, reaching out with his foot to hook the water bottle and kick it up to his hand. Passing it to Jay, he grunted as a muscle twinged in his shoulder. "I tell you, if there's ever a situation where a bomb needs to be defused in the middle of a bunch of spinning logs for some reason? I'm letting the damn thing explode." The point of the training exercise, as he'd had it drilled into his head, was situational awareness. Being able to get a job done in a constantly changing environment. Which in this case meant hard foam cannonballs and swinging weights being chucked at him while trying to defuse a mock 'bomb'.

"Sounds like fun," he said, only not. "Was this fer training?" he asked casually reopening an old subject that was still sore on him. He didn't think it bothered Forge as much as it bothered him, but it had and fidgeted with the bottle, rolling it in-between his hands. Instead of sitting, which would have been awkward, he opted to stand, retracing his steps back to the banister and leaning against it.

Forge nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah. Instead of running me through the simulation drills like everyone else, Cyclops just loves to toss the physical stuff at me. I mean, it makes sense," he explained with a wave of his hand. "I can't not cheat on a simulation in the Danger Room. It practically tells me how to beat it. But there's a difference between knowing just how fast a big spinning foam block is moving and being able to dodge it. Haven't quite mastered that last part."

Jay was compelled to run his hands over Forge's neck and rub those kinks out to relieve tension, but he wasn't sure that was such a good idea. Instead, he lingered back where he was, listening. He smiled at the idea of Forge dodging a bunch of things and not being able to cheat. "So, if Ah join tha team, than Ah can throw shit at ya too? Where do Ah sign up?"

"Talk to Scott and Ororo," Forge said automatically, then stopped. Squeezing the back of his neck, he looked up at Jay with an inscrutable expression. "Is it what you want, though?"

"Ah'm thinkin' 'bout it," he said. He could feel himself getting defensive, his spine tensing at the question. "Ah'm doin' ma research first. It ain't just a walk through a few files. There's a lotta stuff in there, an' it ain't gonna happen over night if Ah do decide ta do it." He couldn’t' completely be honest with himself and admit it was really overwhelming and intimidating to even think about trying out for the team. "If it means Ah can throw shit at ya, than hell ya."

Forge thought about that, then took a deep breath. "It scares me," he said after a brief pause. "Just a few weeks ago, I saw two men killed right in front of me in Budapest, and Scott... he kept it together. Did the job. Him and Ororo both. I don't know what kept me from freezing up, I just knew they were depending on me. But that sank it in for me - it's not a cakewalk. Hell, look at Mr. Dayspring. He's as close to a professional as it gets and he comes back beat all to shit. You, Kyle... you heal fast, but there's stuff even you guys can't bounce back from." He looked up at Jay and shrugged. "I don't have all that many close friends, Jay. I don't want to wind up with less because you think this is the only way you can do the right thing."

It surprised him that Forge showed this much concern and for the longest moment, he didn't know what to say. He considered it though, imagined how he would have felt with two people dying in front of him. He had already seen death and it was horrible to go through. But it was from someone he loved, and wondered just how much Forge had actually gone through that he never revealed. "Ah've already been through two beatin's Forge. An' Ah lived ta tell tha tale. We bounce back alot better than ya think we do."

"I know exactly how well you bounce back, Jay," Forge said quietly. "I was the one who found you in that alley, remember. I saw you heal from injuries that should have left you crippled. I just... the folks the X-Men go up against tend to be a bit worse than just a beating in an alley. If you're willing to risk that, I... I'm not going to stand in your way. But I'm not going to pretend I wouldn't rather see you helping out from a stage or a recording studio instead."

Unfolding like a complicated jack-in-the-box, Forge pulled himself up to his feet, using the banister as a support. "I don't want to be a hero. That's not why I'm training. It's because I know I'm going to be needed. And I don't want to be like Dayspring, or Cyclops, or Angelo. They go out there and risk their necks when they have responsibilities back home to people who care about them. If you're really certain you want to take this on, knowing the dangers... I don't think it's me you really need to be having the talk with," he said, looking Jay in the eye.

"Ya, Ah know. Ah remember. Ah was there too," he said in a bit of an agitated voice. He blew out a sigh, not just to find patience but to be patient and remain that way even though Forge seemed to change his tactics. He didn’t' really want to get into it and stood there instead, listening, choosing to withhold his response until the end.

He frowned. "Ah ain't tryin' ta get yer approval Forge. Ya'l'ready told me how ya feel. Ya remember tha' lecture? Ya, that didn' go so well cause ya think Ah'm dickin around, an' Ah ain't spoke ta ya in a month cause o' it. But ya don't seem ta recall that cause even though ya care, ya havn't been makin' much o' an effort ta support anything Ah decide ta think about. Ah'm still doin' ma research, an' Ah reckon ma family'd be proud an' ma boyfriend, who ya have so lil' faith in, would be proud too. But Ah'm makin' sure this 'ere's good fer me, an' not what other people think."

"Unconditional love and support is for pets and idiots," Forge responded."But you're on the right track. And flatten your wing against your shoulders when you try that toss. You're overcorrecting too much," he added, limping up the stairs. "See you around, yeah?"

Momentarily stunned into silence, Jay tightened and untightened the bottle cap before looking a little defeated and heading down the stairs. "Ya, thanks."