xp_logs | [log] Marie & Logan : Shaking off the ashes.

Thursday night, Marie's room. Logan checks up on Marie and she gets things out of her system and completely fails to remain unhappy.

Logan came back from piling up what was left of the back stairs beside the dumpster outside. He showered, then relaxed in front of the computer, intent on catching up on the latest posts to the journalling system.

When he read Marie's post, he frowned, worried. After a moment, he went downstairs to see her, still damp from his shower, to make sure she was okay. He knocked quietly.

The knock on the door startled Marie out of her reverie and she realized she was sitting on her bed, wrapped only in a towel, staring at the far wall in silence. Clutching the towel, heart slamming and skin cold, she got to her bedroom doorway before exhaustion and lack of food caught up with her and she leaned on the frame, eyes closed. "Who is it?" she called. -Oh. Please. Be someone I can tell to go away.-

"It's me." He was more than a little concerned by the tone of her voice, but he waited patiently to be granted entrance. Or, he supposed, to be denied entrance.

-Or you,- she thought with relief. -I wasn't expecting you.- "Come on in. I'm just getting dressed." Marie turned away, closing her bedroom door partway, and hung the towel on the back of it.

Logan opened the door, stepping inside and closing it behind himself. Looking around, he figured out where Marie had gone and instinctively started walking in that direction, then stopped himself. "You okay?" he called, standing just outside the bedroom door.

"Tired," she admitted, opening her closet, trying to decide between night clothes and just something old and comfortable. "I don't think anyone slept last night. You?"

"Nah. I was outside," he explained. "You?" He shuffled his feet impatiently, not wanting to wait to be able to see her. But he was pretty sure it would be an invasion of privacy she wouldn't appreciate, if he walked in without permission.

"Um. I was inside with the kids, you know, cleaning up." Hearing the impatience in his voice, Marie grabbed a pair of blue pyjama pants and pulled them on, then the camisole that went with them. "Women things," she said with a cynical lilt to her voice. She dragged an oversized navy flannel shirt out, as it was the first soft thing to hand, and threw that on. Running the fingers of one hand through her hair, she opened her door all the way and gave Logan an approximation of a smile. "Hi."

"Hey." He looked her over, both pleased and displeased with what he saw. She looked comfortable, soft, and confident. But she also looked completely exhausted. "Are the kids okay? I haven't seen any of 'em."

"They're physically okay, except for Amanda and Angelo, as far as I know." Marie wrapped her arms around herself and leaned on the doorframe again. "As for the rest..." She shrugged and bit her lip, suddenly horrendously sad. "What's 'okay' mean anyway? I'm most worried about Jubilee and Artie and the others who were here for Stryker. Some of them still have nightmares. Doesn't matter how many times we clean the carpets or how well we get the smell of the smoke out. Damage is done." Her eyes were dry in spite of her sadness. She felt hollowed out inside, neither tired nor hungry, just empty.

"Not just to them," he muttered, reaching out to tug her hair. "You gonna make it?"

"You know me. I manage." Marie tried to muster up a smile to comfort him and cover up the sobs of weariness and despair that were lurking in the back of her throat. Once again, the useless litany rang in her head, -How could they do this to us?-

"Yeah, I know." He looked at her closely, still worried. "If there's anythin' I can do..."

The look in Logan's eyes was open invitation to fall apart now and Marie hated herself for needing it, for being weak and vulnerable. -I hate them. I hate them so much and I don't even know who /they/ are.- Furious and afraid and feeling terribly helpless to keep anyone safe, herself included, she stepped forward and put her head on his chest and started to cry, digging her fingers into his shirt to keep steady.

He curled his arms around her, holding her close. He did not mutter endearments or promise that it would all be okay. He didn't want to belittle her pain, nor did he want to lie to her. Tucking his head down beside hers, he pressed a kiss to her hair, and stayed silent.

"It doesn't stop," Marie said through her tears. "It's never over. And I could take it..." Sobs choked her for a moment and she clung to him harder until she could speak and breathe again. "...if they'd only leave the children alone." -Stop hurting them. Stop hurting them, please.-

"I'm sorry." It was all he could think to say. Chances were, the people who attacked them wouldn't ever have the scruples to leave the children alone, so he couldn't promise her that they would. He kissed her hair again.

"I'm just so /angry/." Marie punctuated the last word, thumping her fist lightly on his chest. "I'd tear apart everything to find them, if I knew where to start." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and pushed back, looking up at him, suddenly apologetic for her stormy outburst. "...sorry."

"Don't be," Logan demanded. "You /should/ be angry." He thought for a moment, then added, "I'll see what I can do, findin' out who did it. Think I've got some ideas about who'd know."

"Good," she said firmly, her eyes now bright and vindictive. Knowing the whole mess might not go unpunished was a little comforting. Marie stepped back, straightening Logan's crumped shirt as she did so, smoothing it out with her palms against his chest. "I'd better get to come too when you find out."

He grinned, pleased at her willingness to do such a thing with him. He'd /liked/ watching her last night and had felt guilty, upon reading her journal post, that he'd liked something she'd so abhorred. "Count on it."

"Let's just make sure I have time to get my damned gloves on next time," she said with a fierce scowl. "I /hate/ that feeling."

His grin faded and he nodded. "Yeah, let's." He touched her shoulder. "Havin' been on the dyin' end of the deal, I can imagine a bit of what you're feelin'."

-He gets it. He does.- Suddenly how much she loved him flooded her and Marie bit her lip to keep from smiling too much, looking up at him with her hands on her hips.

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her expression.

"I love you so much, I hardly know what to do sometimes," she said simply. "I'm so lucky." -I am. All this other crap aside, I am lucky. I just need to keep it in perspective,- she reminded herself.

He grinned, liking her answer. "I love you, too, y'know." He leaned in, brushing his nose against hers.

"Yeah. I think I’m getting it." She stood on her tiptoes and mock-bit at him as he pulled away, teeth snapping sharply. Her eyes shone with mischief. "I missed dinner. Did you eat?"

"Nope. I was carryin' bits of the stairs out to the dumpster." He shrugs. "Wanna go out or stay in?" A pause, then, "I've got Oreos."

Marie laughed at Logan and hugged him. "You sure you want to deal with me on a sugar high? I couldn't eat today," she confessed. "I can't eat when I'm stressed."

He scooped her up and tossed her over his shoulder. "Then we'd better get some food in you." He shifted her on his shoulder, a bit. "What're you in the mood for?" he asked, peering at her upside-down face from beneath his arm.

Marie squeaked and laughed as she was swung through the air. "Anything. Um. Pizza?"

"Sounds good to me. Delivery, D'Giorno, or Out?"

"Out of the house, I think," said Marie, sounding awfully thoughtful for someone who was upside down. "Even if it's just for the drive. If you don't mind taking me out in my jammies."

He grinned and flipped her over to set her back down on her feet. "Then get some shoes on, hon. And a coat." He could heal a cold for her, but figured it'd be better to avoid one in the first place.

Marie stopped by the door, pulled her boots on, and bent to tie them. Halfway through doing up the second one, something occurred to her and she looked up, tossing her still damp hair back. "Hey. Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I stay with you tonight?" Marie finished and stood up, hands in the small of her back, stretching out her spine.

He stopped walking and blinked, then nodded. "'Course you can." There was no doubt he'd let her. She needed the sleep and he could be sure she'd get it, if he was with her. Any of the other thoughts that raced through his mind were purely inconsequential.

Marie got her coat out of the closet and checked the pockets. Winter gloves in one side pocket and a spare indoor pair in the other. She pulled the thin ones out. "Hey, blue. I match." She gave Logan a bit of a shy smile. "Thanks. I know I don't really need to ask, but... I just wanted to be sure, y'know?"

"Anytime, hon." He smiled at her, schooling his face into comforting friendliness.

"Yeah." Marie sighed and shook her head, smiling. "Lucky, me." She stood on her toes and brushed a kiss across his cheek. "I'm ready to go."

"Good. Lemme get some shoes and we can get outta here?" He ran a hand slowly down her back, over the soft flannel.

"Sure. I can go steal us a car." Marie gave him an impish smile and pulled her coat on.

"I'll meet you in the garage. You can drive."

Marie laughed at him. "I'm /so/ glad we understand each other. I'll see you there."