xp_logs | Jane and the Stepfords - Twisted Sister: What Boys Like

Jane gets drawn into a frank (and frankly uncomfortable) discussion with a rogue Stepford. And Nathan is weird.

It was oftentimes a wee bit on the difficult side to be a teenaged boy in the mansion. They were, after all, afflicted by female teachers whose 'hotness level' substantially exceeded the norm. That many of said teachers were spoken for didn't necessarily help. Thus, it was rather like fighting a war on two fronts when one of their classmates decided to turn on the feminine wiles, and the sight of one of the Stepford sisters sauntering down the hall in a midriff-baring top (in February, no less) and pants that looked as if they had been sprayed on had already left several of her target demographic staring after her admiringly.

The Stepford looked gleefully smug at the attention. She was practicing her sultry hair-tossing when she turned the corner and almost ran into Jane, a near-collision that provoked a pout. "You nearly knocked me down."

Jane, who had been standing quite innocently against the wall sorting her junk mail, gave the blonde girl a bewildered look. "...I'm sorry?" she offered.

"Shouldn't you be watching where you're going?" For someone who had been raised in a lab, the blonde girl had the 'bitchiest girl in high school' demeanor down beautifully well. "I mean, do you usually run into people?" Her italics, in particular, were a thing of beauty.

"Okay," Jane said, stung. She recognized the girl as one of the Stepfords, but...she was acting kind of odd. Where were the rest of them? Didn't they usually travel in a pack? "You must have missed the part where I was already standing here when you turned the corner. I'm sorry I startled you, but you don't have be rude about it." Or delusional.

The hair-toss was quite respectable, really. Very dramatic. "Well. I guess I'm sorry, then." The Stepford gave her a long, critical look. Up and down, side to see, and extreme close-up, as if wanting to examine Jane's teeth. "What's it like to look like that?" she asked innocently. "Do boys like it?"

Wait, what? Jane really had no idea what to say. The Stepford didn't sound malicious, but it was a really, deeply weird question. "I like looking like this just fine, " she said, slowly. "and boys seem to like it." She hadn't heard any differently, anyway. Not that she had all that great references to draw from.I know I'm going to regret this... "Why?"

"Well, I don't know what boys like. We're not normal, you know," the Stepford said, giving the royal we the particular intonation that the girls used whenever they were talking about their collective self. "And boys smile at you. We see them. They do it all the time."

Boys smiled at her? That was news to Jane, as was the concept that someone considered her normal. That was...kinda a relief, actually. "I guess I've always thought that boys were more interested in who I am than in what I looked like, and that once they get to know you, it really doesn't matter."

The Stepford wrinkled her nose. "Are you sure they want to get to know you?" she asked. "They want things, we know that, but it's usually touching-things. And groping-things. And sniffing-hair things. Right? That's what most of them think about all the time. It's just this stew of hormones and imagining you with your clothes off. It's hard to know what it all means."

"Um." Somehow Jane didn't think she was supposed to be talking to the students about sex. "Well..."

"Is it any fun?" the Stepford asked, her tone leaving no doubt as what she meant by 'it'. "Have you done it?" She actually bounced up and down in place, blue eyes boring into Jane's. "You have to tell us if you have! We don't know which of us should try it first. Or with who. We suppose we should pick one of the boys and then work from there, it's not like it would be hard, but at least two of us think it might be more fun to pick a girl." The Stepford tilted her head suddenly, taking a step closer. "Do you know what it's like with a girl?"

"I. What? I? No!" Jane practically shouted that last bit. A little voice in the back of her head was screaming 'Run away! Run away!' and it seemed like really good advice. The Stepford was giving her a frankly predatory look and Jane wasn't sure if she just wanted the answers to her questions or...something else. "Look, er, Miss Stepford. I'm not sure I'm the person you should be talking to. Have you thought about your RA? Or one of the counselors?"

The Stepford pouted. "But we like you," she said, "and you're handy. Why can't you just-"

"I think that's probably enough," a gruff, wary-sounding voice said from behind Jane. The Stepford practically leapt away from the older girl, giving Nathan a poisonous look as he moved towards them. "There's a fine line in this kind of conversation, and I can feel you getting ready to cross it."

Was that relief Jane felt pouring through her? Why yes, yes it was! "Hi Nathan," she greeted him weakly.

Nathan seemed fixated on the sulky-looking blonde, however, and didn't reply to Jane. He and the Stepford were giving each other the Look that telepaths gave where there was a lot not being said (but still being communicated). "You're really very good," he finally said - aloud. "I was almost fooled."

The Stepford gave a peal - almost a shriek - of contemptuous laughter. "Almost fooled? Almost fooled, lame-brained old man?" There was a flicker of doubt in Nathan's gray eyes, and she smiled brightly, tossing her hair again. "We are what we are, and we don't know what you think we are, but we think you've taken a few too many hits to the head. Which is just what everyone else thinks, you know?"

"Mindee," Nathan started, earning himself another poisonous look.

"Leave us alone and go try not to blow anything up," the Stepford hissed at him, the fake smile gone. "Try really hard. Maybe you'll manage to go a few days." She spun on her heel and flounced back around the corner without another word.

Really, just edging around the corner and out of sight seemed like the best option. Nathan probably wouldn't notice if she disappeared, and if he did, he probably wouldn't mind. Much. Jane sighed. "Can I ask what that was about?"

"The Stepfords are playing games," Nathan muttered, looking distracted - and uncertain, in a way he hadn't been before. He looked at Jane only briefly, as if make sure that the other girl hadn't left any visible marks. "I'm, um, got to go. Sorry. Avoid her, maybe..."

Were the telepaths going crazy again? Because if so, Jane wanted to be elsewhere. "Okay, Nathan. Bye!"