xp_logs | Questions and Answers: Yvette, Kevin

x-penance.livejournal.com posting in

Running into Kevin as he's leaving Samson's office, Yvette finds the courage to ask him something that's been bothering her for a while.

For inexplicable reasons, Kevin tended to be in a better mood lately. It was strange since he and Jay had gotten into an unreconciled fight recently, he despised powers training and Samson did his head in even the best of days. It hadn't escaped Kevin's notice that recently he felt a bit like a wet noodle with how loose his shoulders, neck and back were. It was like he'd been vacuum-sealed and hadn't realized it until someone had gone and ripped the plastic open when he wasn't looking. Samson seemed to think this change in disposition was due to the beauty that was counseling, therapy, brain poking...whatever the preferred phrase of the day for their little sessions was. Noticing that look on the man's face just put Kevin into a darker mood, though. The expression and the reason behind it was even possibly entirely imagined on Kevin's part, but he couldn't quite erase it or its implications from his mind at all.

The teenager was caught between being surly and grouchy from Samson's mere presence in the world and elation at being free of the man's office. It was an odd in-between emotion he couldn't have named even if he wanted to. His goal was to go far, far away from that office and find something that was actually enjoyable to do instead. Maybe he'd even head to the gym to work out all that surly he had pent up now. That goal, however, fled from his mind momentarily when he spotted a familiar, crimson-colored girl with bright blue eyes heading down the hall toward him. He figured since Samson was about the only thing in the hall behind him she must have been headed that way. Why anyone would seek that man by choice was beyond him. "Hey, 'Vette," he greeted with a small nod, hands shoved into his pockets.

"Kevin!" She beamed at him, eyes flaring brightly. "It is good to see you!" She glanced up at his expression, and back the way he'd come, guessing where he had been. "I am hoping you are doing well, yes?"

Kevin considered that for a second before actually answering. "Well" was pretty generic, wasn't it? Well was just not bad and he wasn't that so he shrugged slightly and nodded. "Yeah. You been gone, haven't ya? Jus' get back?"

She nodded. "Yes. I went to Kosovo, to stay with my mother, to do the thinking." She wrinkled her nose. "It is good to see her, but I am glad to be home again. You are not trying to make me wear the bag over my head when we are going out." It was a joke, but there was a wry element there that spoke volumes about Yvette's time away.

Kevin immediately frowned. A bag over her head? Didn't that count as some sort of subtle form of psychological torture or something? If not then it should, especially if someone was still considered a kid. "Whaddya need ta think about tha' ya had ta go to Kosovo fer?"

Yvette hesitated, her natural retinence coming to the fore, immediately followed by her determination to show people she wasn't a child any more. "About where it is I am belonging," she said, ducking her head a little shyly. "For some time, I was not sure this was the place, and I needed to leave, to have the, how you say? Perspective?"

He nodded, understanding that. "Belongin's where ya wan' it ta be, though. Ah mean, there are places ya feel more at home in, but anywhere can be home if ya wan' it ta be. Just gotta find yer niche. Going back help yer perspective, though? Y'know, figure out where's home and where ain't?" Kevin had no idea where he belonged for the most part so if Yvette had figured it out for herself then he had admiration for that. Most of his problem with where he belonged just had to do with himself, though, and he knew that when he stopped to think about it.

"I love my mother, but Kosovo... I do not belong there any more. There I can only be the victim, the mutant to be hidden from sight. I cannot be having the best schooling, or to work for the Red X and using my powers for helping, not when there is always the fighting. These are the things I want." It was strange, hearing such certainty from Yvette, and she lifted her chin to meet Kevin's eyes, a small smile on her face. "The school, it is scary, and there are bad things happening, and there are people who are thinking I am only the baby, but... it is becoming the home to me now."

"Bein' young don' make ya incapable, though. Don't mean ya can't help." Just the fact that she smiled made Kevin smile. It was an infectious thing for him. If a friend was happy then it made him happier. He didn't see how it could ever not work that way. "Ah'm glad ya figured it out, though. Ah'd miss ya if ya jus' up an' left an' all."

"And I will be sixteen soon, in August," she reminded him with a brief flare of her eyes. "I was missing my friends, when I was away. And the suite - even Nori, when she is grumpy from the powers. And the treehouse, for the quiet time." She smiled at Kevin again. "And our making of the sculptures."

Kevin gave her a smile that was part smirk. "Lookit tha', Ah rank high 'nough ta miss. Go me." He never really thought about being close enough to anyone to rank for honorable mention of things missed, honestly. It was sort of a novel experience. "It's hard ta not miss a place an' people when y're used ta them being around, y'know? There's worse homes ta have than this." Of course, Kevin still didn't want to be there but that was neither here nor there at the moment.

"And where there are the people who are caring for you to be around, also," Yvette pointed out, perhaps a little slyly. There was something else she was curious about, in the wake of talking to Jay in Canada. "Like the boyfriend, yes?"

Kevin actually paled slightly at the question. He had to remind himself that it was definitely common knowledge, or at least up for being common knowledge. He just didn't do that talking about himself thing a lot so he was thrown off balance when Yvette brought up Jay. Especially because of the choice of phrasing. Kevin leaned against the wall just to have something solid holding him up. He didn't need it physically but it was nice psychologically. "Yeah, like tha boyfriend." He wasn't even sure what else to say. Jay was the one thing that would tie him to this place no matter what other circumstances changed for him. It was odd to think about.

Yvette watched him carefully, not understanding the reaction. Weren't people supposed to be happy when they had a boyfriend or girlfriend? Kevin didn't seem to be, and it was a direct contrast to Jay's gushings. She hesitated, and then made herself ask: "Kevin, would it be rude for me to be asking the personal question?"

An eyebrow quirked upward. It was always a bad sign when someone asked you that, wasn't that? "S'only rude if ya make it rude. 'Vette, yer mah friend, you can ask me whatever ya want." Whether or not he'd answer it was an entirely separate matter, really. Kevin didn't want her feeling like she couldn't ask something if she was genuinely curious though.

She'd almost been hoping he'd say yes, it would be rude, since now she had to ask... "What... what is it like?" she asked, feeling her skin harden slightly on her face. "To have the person who is caring, who is not afraid to be close?" She looked down at her feet, scuffing one shoe. "To be... kissing? It is nice, yes?"

Oh, she wanted to know about that. Kevin was looking at the one person in all the world who couldn't even have what little he did and she was asking what it was like to to have someone to be close to. It was a little heart breaking, really. He could have lied or been vague, pretended it was a mercy, but Kevin couldn't bring himself to do that to Yvette. He couldn't justify anything less than honesty. "Yeah, it's nice. It's...frustratin' sometimes an' he's frustratin' sometimes, but it's--well it's worth it, Ah guess. Ah'm not sure wha' ta say, 'cause Ah don' talk 'bout stuff much when it's...personal. Tha's Jay's arena, y'know?"

Kevin stopped to chew on his lip and think. Thinking wasn't getting him much but he was trying. How did you explain something to someone who had manifested so young she didn't really know it at all? Sure she probably had memories from family and stuff but it wasn't the same. "Ah used ta get panic attacks a lot," he finally admitted quietly, seriously. "Ah still get 'em wi' everyone else. People get too close an' Ah freak out, worried Ah'll hurt 'em. It's really weird. Havin' someone who doesn't do tha' anymore. Sorta...surreal. Ah wouldna thought someone who knew would ever...Ah figure he migh' have a death wish er something mos' tha time, actually. But it's kinda comfortin', Ah guess? Havin' someone ya wake up next ta, someone tha's not afraid an' trusts me ta keep 'im safe 'cause if it was jus' up ta Jay tha' boy woulda been ashes months ago." It actually made him smile slightly, marring what had become an incredibly somber expression. "But...it's one o' those 'is it better t've loved an' lost than t've never loved at all' things, y'know? 'Cause it can't ever be wha' other people got. Reckon one day he'll get sick o' tha'. It's nice, though, righ' now when 'e ain't at tha' poin' yet."

Yvette nodded, eyes large in a solemn face. "Thank you," she said softly. "For sharing this with me. We are not so different, you and I, with the powers, and..." She paused, struggling with emotion and language. "I was having the jealous, I think," she admitted. "Sometimes, it seems like there is not the hope for me to have such a thing as this. But for you to say... I think I understand a little better, now. I am glad, that you have this thing. That you have Jay." A hint of humour entered her voice. "Even if he is a bit of the strange person."

Kevin grinned at her. "Nah, Jay's a lotta tha strange person. How else ya figure on 'im likin' me?" The smile remained for a few moments before it fell into a more serious expression again. "Tha jealous thing? Ah get that. Ah don' mean like someone pretendin' ta understand wha' ya mean, Ah mean Ah get like tha', too. Maybe envious is better? Ah jus'...people always wan' wha' they can't have, y'know? But there's kinda a lot Ah can't have an' Ah wish Ah could. Can' 'magine you wouldn' get like tha', too. 'Cause yer righ'. We're not so different. Kindred, sorta, huh?"

She brightened a little at that, although there was a hint of moisture around her eyes. "Kindred, yes. I like that." She gave him a brave little smile. "And I have the present, from Kosovo, for you in my room. Would you like to come with me to fetch it? It is only the small thing, but I think you will be liking it."

Kevin managed to only notice her smile and the way she'd brightened up, whether it was because he didn't notice or chose not to see the other bit was unclear. "Yeah, sure, Ah'll come wi' ya. Did ya need Samson fer somethin'?" Kevin nodded behind him toward the doctor's door. "Ah can wait while ya go inta 'im an' then go back wi' ya ta yer room." He considered pointing out that she hadn't needed to get him anything, but then that wasn't the point, right? After all, they were kindred now.