Jean and Laurie
Feb. 24th, 2008 02:49 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsAs requested, Laurie comes by to speak with Jean, but the conversation goes in some unexpected (and troubling) directions.
Jean was back in her medlab office after what felt like not nearly enough time. Particularly since there really wasn't anything she could do, which was frustrating. Jennie's file was sitting at her elbow, closed, and she tried not to pretend it was taunting her as she went about other work.
Laurie knocked on the door to Jean's office, pausing outside till she got the okay to enter. She'd made it a habit to wait these days before entering someone's office, just in case she was interrupting something important.
"Come on in," Jean called out, minimizing her screen and taking a sip of coffee before she looked up. "Oh, Laurie. Hi. Take a seat."
Laurie smiled tentatively and quickly took her seat, placing her hands firmly in her lap to prevent fidgeting. She had a feeling that this conversation was not going to be the normal, easy conversation that usually happened between the two of them and she was not looking forward to any of it.
"You wanted to see me," she noted.
"Yes, I did," Jean agreed, leaning back and considering the girl for a moment. "I wanted to talk to you about that thread in Terry's journal - don't worry, Laurie, you're not in any trouble. It did raise a couple of concerns for me, though. Or, possibly, highlighted some things I've been noticing."
"Oh?" Laurie asked, hands clenched somewhat tightly now. "What were those?"
Despite Jean's reassurance that she wasn't in trouble, Laurie felt no lessoning in her tension. She didn't like being pulled onto the carpet by adults in any way, it left her feeling...defensive, and hurt. They shouldn't need to talk to her about things, all it did was show her how badly she was doing at everything.
Jean almost winced - Laurie had had training to shield, of course, but at the moment her thoughts were too scattered, and had a disturbingly familiar echo in Jean's memories from Paige two years ago. "You're a very caring and compassionate girl, Laurie, both of which are very important, particularly if you want to continue with medicine or therapy later on. But one of the most useful tools a doctor has is not just sympathy but empathy - being able to see and understand how someone else is feeling, not just how you would feel in their situation."
"I know that," Laurie replied, still defensive. "I know that how I think and feel isn't how someone else thinks and feels but...it was only a joke. They're my friends, I didn't think they'd think I was trying to hurt them. I thought they'd know me better then that. They could have just said that that was what I was doing instead of calling me immature and telling me I'm an asshole, and not fit to be on the team."
"I want to know what you did think, Laurie." Jean folded her hands in front of her on the desk, leaning forward slightly. "Jennie specifically asked people not to make fun and then you cracked a joke. She reiterated that she didn't find it funny, and you did it again. You have access to the team files, so you should know Jennie's history with being physically manipulated in the past, but you seemed to think the matter wasn't serious and that her stated preference would be overridden by the fact that you didn't intend any harm. So, what did you think would be the reaction?"
"I haven't read her file." Laurie muttered, her shoulders hunching up slightly. She's specifically not looked at her fellow trainee's files, considering anything they had to tell her more then enough, and it was rude to go poking into someone's business without their asking. The adults...they were different somehow, although she couldn't quite say why, perhaps because she didn't have to interact with them on a peer level. The were, and always would be her superiors, and so knowing something more about them didn't seem quite so much an invasion of privacy and more knowledge to be used in order to better get along with them. "And I...I don't know. I wasn't being dismissive. I was trying to get her to laugh about it. She's going to be in that form for awhile, I think. Having people react like it's the worst thing in the world would only make that worse, wouldn't it? I thought treating it like it was no big thing would help her see it that way."
That was not the most reassuring of answers. "That's part of what worries me, Laurie, that you tend to decide on your own how someone should be reacting and take the steps you deem best to get them there. It's a dangerous mindset, particularly for those of us who have mutations which, to put it bluntly, can change how other people feel."
"I can't change how other people feel." Laurie said, shaking her head in denial. "I can't do that, I just affect them physically, that's all. I don't change people's minds, not like that."
"You can, Laurie," Jean said, concerned - they'd edged around this topic before but out and out denial, at least out loud, was new. And dangerous. "Emotional and mental states are very directly tied into chemical balance, all affecting each other. It's to your great credit that you don't want to manipulate others, but it's neither healthy nor safe for you to deny that you are capable."
"No." Laurie said, standing suddenly, eyes wide. "No."
And with that she was across the room and out the door in a second, running for what felt like her life.
Jean blinked, coming to her feet and reaching out but Laurie was already gone, so she sank back into her chair with a quiet, "Damn." That had gone well. And now she needed to talk with Charles about this entirely different problem.
Jean was back in her medlab office after what felt like not nearly enough time. Particularly since there really wasn't anything she could do, which was frustrating. Jennie's file was sitting at her elbow, closed, and she tried not to pretend it was taunting her as she went about other work.
Laurie knocked on the door to Jean's office, pausing outside till she got the okay to enter. She'd made it a habit to wait these days before entering someone's office, just in case she was interrupting something important.
"Come on in," Jean called out, minimizing her screen and taking a sip of coffee before she looked up. "Oh, Laurie. Hi. Take a seat."
Laurie smiled tentatively and quickly took her seat, placing her hands firmly in her lap to prevent fidgeting. She had a feeling that this conversation was not going to be the normal, easy conversation that usually happened between the two of them and she was not looking forward to any of it.
"You wanted to see me," she noted.
"Yes, I did," Jean agreed, leaning back and considering the girl for a moment. "I wanted to talk to you about that thread in Terry's journal - don't worry, Laurie, you're not in any trouble. It did raise a couple of concerns for me, though. Or, possibly, highlighted some things I've been noticing."
"Oh?" Laurie asked, hands clenched somewhat tightly now. "What were those?"
Despite Jean's reassurance that she wasn't in trouble, Laurie felt no lessoning in her tension. She didn't like being pulled onto the carpet by adults in any way, it left her feeling...defensive, and hurt. They shouldn't need to talk to her about things, all it did was show her how badly she was doing at everything.
Jean almost winced - Laurie had had training to shield, of course, but at the moment her thoughts were too scattered, and had a disturbingly familiar echo in Jean's memories from Paige two years ago. "You're a very caring and compassionate girl, Laurie, both of which are very important, particularly if you want to continue with medicine or therapy later on. But one of the most useful tools a doctor has is not just sympathy but empathy - being able to see and understand how someone else is feeling, not just how you would feel in their situation."
"I know that," Laurie replied, still defensive. "I know that how I think and feel isn't how someone else thinks and feels but...it was only a joke. They're my friends, I didn't think they'd think I was trying to hurt them. I thought they'd know me better then that. They could have just said that that was what I was doing instead of calling me immature and telling me I'm an asshole, and not fit to be on the team."
"I want to know what you did think, Laurie." Jean folded her hands in front of her on the desk, leaning forward slightly. "Jennie specifically asked people not to make fun and then you cracked a joke. She reiterated that she didn't find it funny, and you did it again. You have access to the team files, so you should know Jennie's history with being physically manipulated in the past, but you seemed to think the matter wasn't serious and that her stated preference would be overridden by the fact that you didn't intend any harm. So, what did you think would be the reaction?"
"I haven't read her file." Laurie muttered, her shoulders hunching up slightly. She's specifically not looked at her fellow trainee's files, considering anything they had to tell her more then enough, and it was rude to go poking into someone's business without their asking. The adults...they were different somehow, although she couldn't quite say why, perhaps because she didn't have to interact with them on a peer level. The were, and always would be her superiors, and so knowing something more about them didn't seem quite so much an invasion of privacy and more knowledge to be used in order to better get along with them. "And I...I don't know. I wasn't being dismissive. I was trying to get her to laugh about it. She's going to be in that form for awhile, I think. Having people react like it's the worst thing in the world would only make that worse, wouldn't it? I thought treating it like it was no big thing would help her see it that way."
That was not the most reassuring of answers. "That's part of what worries me, Laurie, that you tend to decide on your own how someone should be reacting and take the steps you deem best to get them there. It's a dangerous mindset, particularly for those of us who have mutations which, to put it bluntly, can change how other people feel."
"I can't change how other people feel." Laurie said, shaking her head in denial. "I can't do that, I just affect them physically, that's all. I don't change people's minds, not like that."
"You can, Laurie," Jean said, concerned - they'd edged around this topic before but out and out denial, at least out loud, was new. And dangerous. "Emotional and mental states are very directly tied into chemical balance, all affecting each other. It's to your great credit that you don't want to manipulate others, but it's neither healthy nor safe for you to deny that you are capable."
"No." Laurie said, standing suddenly, eyes wide. "No."
And with that she was across the room and out the door in a second, running for what felt like her life.
Jean blinked, coming to her feet and reaching out but Laurie was already gone, so she sank back into her chair with a quiet, "Damn." That had gone well. And now she needed to talk with Charles about this entirely different problem.
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no subject
Date: 2008-02-26 04:48 pm (UTC)OH GOOD. Other people noticed this too.
(Oh, Laurie.)
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Date: 2008-02-26 09:14 pm (UTC)