Reconstruction - Jay, Yvette, Wednesday morning

[x-penance.livejournal.com]

Before her talk with Samson, Yvette had a talk with Jay. It seems not all is happy in paradise, and Jay's taking out his usual patch in the land of denial.



"Y'ever feel like yer bein' ignored?" Jay asked Yvette as they stood at the water station, filling glasses and water bottles. One of the lighter chores which he was thankful for and brushed some dirt away from his face before it got into his eye. "Like, Ah don' know. Maybe like, ya know, it's intentional but it's not?"

Yvette considered the question as she took a full water bottle from Jay and stacked it in the crate with the others. "Sometimes," she said at last. "But it is usual for the person who is ignoring me to be unhappy about something, and not to know how to talk to me." Like Jennie. She looked up at Jay questioningly. "Perhaps there is someone who does not know how to talk to you?"

"Well," he started, picking up a few more bottles and passing them to her. "Ah don' think he wouldn' know how ta talk ta me. Wha's ta talk 'bout anyways? 'cept ta, ya know, enjoy each other." He paused, looking around the area, eyes searching, hoping for Kevin to come into view. It seemed unlikely and his mood sank a little at how pathetic he felt himself to be. Kevin was just busy and probably tired like Jay was. That was the whole reason they hadn't seen each other. "So, how do ya know if yer over reactin'? Could just be all in ma head."

"That I do not know," Yvette admitted. "Dr. Samson says it is good to ask the person if there is something wrong, so that you do know, but I am not so good at that part yet." She tilted her head at him. "You do not seem happy, Jay?"


"Yeah," he agreed distractedly, passing off more bottles than she was possibly able to carry. The question jarred him out of his thoughts and he pulled back some of the bottles, giving her an apologetic half assed smile. "Nah, it ain' tha'. Ah don' know. Jus' feelin' stupid. Tha's all. Kev ain' round much since we went on this trip. He's all been avoidin' me, or maybe he's just tired or somethin'. It's been botherin' me. Tha's all. Probably all up in ma head."


"We are all tired. And Kevin would not be avoiding you on the purpose, he is your boyfriend, yes?" Yvette juggled the bottles awkwardly, her long fingers spread to hold them all but not quite managing. "Ah, Jay? To be helping please?"

Jay felt heavy all of a sudden and couldn't place why but suddenly, he wasn't into the job that he was doing. His wings fell, shoulders dropped and he passed her more bottles without realizing that she was just overburdened. Her request phased through him for a moment before it registered. "Huh? oh yeah, sorry, here --" he said, leaning over to take the bottles from her, careful not to touch any part of her. "Ya know, Ah'd like ta think yer comfortable enough 'round me ta not have ta be all dressed up an' covered. Ah mean, Ah'm 'round Kev all the time an' ya know, he's a lil' more than lire threatenin'."

"It is... complicated." The small red girl stacked the bottles she still had into the crate, and began taking them from Jay, two at a time, to add them with the rest. "It is not to say I - or even Kevin - are not trusting you to be careful. It is more that I do not trust myself?" She struggled with the words. "My power... it is only now that I can see it can be doing something that is not hurting. Kevin, I think, is even more so. Especially when he has hurt people on accident before." Yvette remembered her first meeting with Kevin, when he had told her he had killed someone when he manifested. "It is the hard thing to stop thinking, that all you can do is hurt."

"Well," Jay started, taking a hold of the crate and lifting it up to go distribute the water. "Ah think ya don' hafta worry 'bout me so much. It ain' like Ah can' heal or nuttin'. Ah know we've been over it, but think 'bout it. Ah'm gonna regrow regardless. Not ta say it ain' gonna hurt. But it's a failsafe fer ya. Kev's a bit more scary cause Ah sleep wit' him every night. Ma impulse is ta curl up inta him an' it freak's him out."

Yvette coughed a little and ducked her head at the mention of Jay and Kevin sleeping together, reminding herself this was not home, where such things weren't talked about. "Even if you heal the hurt, Jay, the hurt has still happened. I can still remember that there was blood and pain, that a person was hurt because I was not careful. I do not like to hurt my friends, and I think Kevin is the same." She wasn't sure if she was getting through to Jay, but he had asked, after all. "It is, as I did say, complicated."

He didn't notice her discomfort but shrugged at her response. "Ah know wha' ya mean, but it still ain' tha same as someone who don' have healing like Ah do. It's gonna hurt, but only fer a bit. But ya, al'ight, Ah get ya, sorta." Only he didn't really. And he could see that she didn't think she was getting her point across either and that was okay with him.

"One day, Jay, you are going to find something you cannot heal from," she said, almost sadly. Then she shrugged, and indicated the crate. "We should be taking these back, yes? People are thirsty." It was an obvious change of subject, and Yvette hoped Jay would let her take it. Because she could see where part of his problems with Kevin were coming from and she certainly wasn't the one to fix that. What did she know about love and relationships?

"Maybe," he said, brushing it off. Jay didn't doubt that and sometimes, he wondered if he'd have welcomed it two years ago when things were not so great. "Yeah, Ah think so then, or they gonna come at us like wolves."