xp_logs | Kevin & Terry

After this Kevin meets Terry and they take a walk so she can try to make a point. Her point completely fails when she embraces one of the uglier traits she accuses Kevin of.

Kevin was looking forward to this like he looked forward to one day having bamboo shoved under his fingernails until they popped out of the bed and were then ripped out with pliers. He didn't have anything against Terry normally, but she wasn't exactly a friend of his. She wasn't even an acquaintance. She was just some chick he sometimes had journal conversation snippets with. She received more respect and politeness because she was Jay's friend and for no other reason.

Terry was going to be among the cranky and pissy most likely, so Kevin tried to prepare himself for it as best he could on his way to meet her. In the end, honestly, he didn't want to know what beef they all had with Manuel. Over e-mail he seemed alright and Kevin intended to make up his own mind about the guy. Past actions were in the past and he didn't really care to have it color his perception of the person that existed now.

Terry sighed and clicked her laptop case closed before grabbing a hoodie stolen from Bobby and shrugging it on. She swam in it but it was comfortable and reminded her of home. She was going to need that sense of peace to handle this conversation, she could tell. Kevin was not precisely the world's most understanding guy.

It was five minutes later precisely that she jogged into the foyer, still folding back the sleeves on the sweatshirt as she went. "Hello," she said mildly, voice pitched to carry to his ears without increasing the volume. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem." He didn't seem very enthusiastic, mostly because he wasn't. Why should he be? He was stubborn and likely nothing she said would make any difference to him. If anything it may strengthen his resolve to give Manuel a fair chance. Kevin opened the front door and gestured her through. She was the one who wanted to talk, so to Kevin that meant she could do the talking and he'd do the nodding and the trying not to say she was an idiot if at any point he thought she was one.

His silence didn't bother her, Terry lived in a world of sound, it was actually rather nice when people shut up for a bit. They walked in not so companionable quiet down toward the lake, ground giving soft under their shoes. It was only when the sounds of the mansion died away for her that she chose to speak. "What would you consider unforgivable, Kevin?"

Walking in silence wasn't bad. In a way he'd rather she just say whatever it was she wanted to say so he could move on. He'd been sketching something to work on at the time and currently was reminding himself why the computer was evil and he shouldn't ever turn on those journals. "That's an unfair question," he told her. In his mind, though, the thought echoed that killing your own father was unforgivable. "Depends on the person, the situation, the circumstances. Factors an' factors. Whether or not a person can be forgiven lies in the ability of the injured to forgive, nothing more." Kevin considered the one bright point of Terry's hearing being so strong that he knew his soft voice would be heard clearly. He wasn't sure other people actually heard what he said normally. Soft spoken and an accent as thick as the one he spoke with didn't lend itself as a combination for comprehension.

Terry nodded, "It's not fair but that's why I'm asking you. Because it's personal and it matters." She reached up and tucked a loose strand back into her tightly woven braid. "And when you're pushing on injuries that people consider unforgivable...well, how would you feel?" She chewed on her lower lip for a moment and looked over at him, "I should tell you, I don't hate him. We're not friends any longer but I'm hardly one of those with major issues with him."

"Ah'd say they need to deal with it," he told her, being completely honest. Kevin sighed and shoved his hands in his front pockets. "Look, people got beef with him, Ah get it. But Ah don't care. They can keep their problems to themselves an' between them and him. They don't need to make up the minds of people who've never met him. He's been gone for a while, right? No one even knows who he is. And none o' y'all are even willing to give him a chance to see if he's maybe a decent person. Things change, Terry. People change. He fucked up, Ah don't care how, but he did. So what? Ah should care that other people can't handle their issues over it after all this time he's been gone?"

"No one's saying that you can't be his friend. But you don't know what you're defending, Kevin or what you're dismissing as just overreaction," she sighed, "Maybe he's changed. I hope he's changed, but before he used his powers to get himself whatever he wanted without much regard for how other people would hurt for it. He usually didn't even understand why it would hurt them. If you're going to care about his feelings, at the very least respect that what people are reacting to is real."

"If he didn't understand why it hurt people how can you hold it against him?" That was, very possibly, the dumbest thing he'd ever heard. He didn't say that because Terry was Jay's best friend. "Nah, Ah'm dismissing it as people being immature an' blaming Manuel for them not havin' dealt with their own personal feelings on the situation. They don't hafta forgiven 'im, sing kumbaya or hang out with him, but they don't have to go out and make it so publicly known they dislike him. They can take up their problems with him, in private or shut up about it, but they don't have to act like twelve year olds over the fact that he exists in the same place as them again." It made perfect sense to Kevin. His problem was they were being little kids who'd gotten their toy stolen over it all. If they shut up instead of spreading their drama all over the place he'd have much less of a problem.

"I think he's a jerk. They think he's dangerous. If you thought, really thought, that someone was going to walk into this school and deliberately damage other people for his own gain, would you say something? Or would you keep your worry and your fear to yourself? If you don't like something, should you keep your mouth shut and not bother anyone else? Or..." her look was sharp, "would you go about like a big lurking cloud of pain and gloom because everything needed to understand how much you hurt?"

Terry shook her head, "Pain isn't mature. It's the most primitive part of us. Something we can't shake even if we are the next evolution of humanity."

Nothing about Kevin changed because of her words. Nothing. Not his expression, his posture, the length of his stride. He was completely unaffected by her words. "So sayin' stuff on the journals and making yourself look like a jerk is the way to deal with that? Productive," his tone was dry. "How 'bout if you think he's that much of a danger you talk to the folk in charge? Y'know, the people who decided whether or not he could come back here? Or maybe everyone just assumes they're incapable of making that call? Maybe they think they know better than those people making those decisions? Maybe they forgot that Muir probably gave them all sorts of information that none of these people with a grudge know? Whining an' causing a scene on the journals ain't the way to go about things if you honestly think he's a danger. Whining and causing a scene don't ever change nothin' except maybe make people wanna be around you a lot less."

Her temper snapped, "Maybe they do think that. And maybe they'll be proven wrong. But...Jesus, Kevin. Do you think Jay is being outrageous when he's unable to get along with Tommy? That he's overreacting?"

Kevin stopped walking immediately and looked at Terry with a wholly confused expression. "What're you talking about? What about Jay and Tommy? Jay had Tommy make this for me," he pulled the chain out from under his layers of shirts. From it dangled a small feather. "Since when don't they get along?" It wasn't like he asked, but you didn't ask favors of people you didn't like.

Terry's eyes widened and she backed up several steps. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me. He's not told you?" This was bad. Really bad. Why the hell hadn't Jay told his....well, of course he wouldn't have, what had she been thinking. Good job, letting your temper get the best of you. "Shit, shit, shit. Tommy...he was Friends of Humanity. Before."

Kevin raised an eyebrow. "No, 'parently not." The things Jay didn't tell Kevin could likely fill as many volumes as the stuff Kevin never thought to tell Jay. Communication, clearly, wasn't their strong suit. Getting caught up in the moment and nearly melting Jay's hand off, now there was their strong suit. "Alright, so what? Ah mean, you said before so he's not now and he seems decent enough from when I've talked to him."

The best she could do now was minimize the damage. "Damnit. Okay, you have to swear to me that you'll never tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. Not Tommy, not Jay, no one. I'll hear about it if you do, Kevin. You know I will." It wasn't a threat, yet. It also wasn't a plea.

The natural reaction would be to promise and hear whatever she said. He wondered what it was that Jay hadn't told her that she found so important, but Kevin always assumed if it was actually important to Jay he'd tell Kevin himself. Even if he did it really badly like he had a habit of doing. "Ah can't promise Ah won't tell Jay," he told her honestly after a moment of thought. While his natural inclination was to promise the truth was that he really couldn't promise he wouldn't tell his boyfriend, who this seemed to involved. "Ah can honestly tell you I won't tell anyone else, but Ah can't promise Ah won't say something to Jay. If that ain't good enough then don't tell me."

Terry took a deep breath. "Fine, but let me talk to him first if you decide you have to say something. I'll need to apologize." She took a breath and started walking again. "A couple of years ago, I met Tommy in town. We dated for a while and I took him to one of Jay's shows. After the show, Tommy lured Jay outside, flirted with him and then beat him so badly that if it hadn't been for his healing factor, Jay would have died."

He didn't see why that was a big deal. Tommy used to be crazy, he didn't seem to be now, and it made things awkward between him and Jay. That was understandable. It wasn't something overly pertinent to Jay and Kevin, their relationship, friendship or general coexistence, so he could see why Jay hadn't ever brought it up. "Alright, I'll let you talk to him first if I ever tell him."

Kevin fell silent, thinking about the fact that Tommy essentially beat Jay to death. But Jay's healing factor was enough to keep him alive, even rebuild whatever damager was done. Things made a lot more sense now. "So that's why Jay thinks he can heal anything, huh?" Between that and Jay surviving his suicide attempt Kevin understood why his boyfriend figured a little damage from Kevin wasn't a big deal.

"That's why. And it's taken years for the two of them to get anywhere near civil to each other because of it. So assume that instead of Manny, it was Tommy. And it was Jay freaking out. Do you still think it's just PMS?"

"Ah never meant that PMS thing nearly as literally as you're taking it," he pointed out. "And, yes. Because nothing's making him go on about his personal issues with someone in a public place which he knows will just cause drama."

"You meant it in the most belittling and insulting way possible, Kevin," she snapped, even as she told herself that she shouldn't be letting his stubbornness get to her.

"Pretty much," he said with a small shrug. That wasn't entirely accurate but considering that he didn't think reiterating that he thought people were being overemotional and stupid would get him very far it just seemed like the answer to go with.

Terry shrugged back at him then rolled her eyes. "Well, this was a complete waste of time. But I tried. I hope he's changed, Kevin. And that you'll never know why his just showing up caused such disgust."

"Hey, you were the one who wanted to take a walk, not me. Ah could've told you just as easily over email that Ah think you all need to pursue therapy so you can deal with your issues and get over them and if people are so worried they should talk to the people in charge. End of story. Sorry if Ah don't share compassion for people who can't keep their own person stuff off the journals, but Ah don't and Ah never am. You handle your own stuff, end of story. People shouldn't go putting it out there for everyone to have to deal with. People got their own stuff to deal with, don't need everyone else's, too. If he turns out to be less than scum then he does, but whether or not he ends up a friend or enemy will be my choice and my doing and not someone else's."

"If you don't like it, don't read it. They don't have to shut up just because you're offended by their pain."

"The beauty about freedom of speech, Terry," Kevin began, "is that Ah've got just as much right to tell them they're being over emotional as they have to be over emotional about their 'pain'." Kevin had a hard time really believing everyone was so hurt after so long. If they had that much pain left over it was because they hadn't dealt with it to begin with. Kevin had pain over his father's death, for instance. He also hadn't ever dealt with that. "People go on and on about how 'you don't understand,' but people don't need to understand. They don't even need to want to understand. Some people just want people to check their high maintenance at the door and keep their business to themselves."

"Jesus, you're a hypocrite. If people needed to keep their business to themselves, then you'd best shape up. That fight? The way you react to everything? That's not keeping things to yourself, not when the whole damn school knows. Sure you don't post to the journal about it maybe but you're no better about not being over emotional about things. Or, wait, if it's you maybe you're thinking that it's not being over emotional, it's exactly right?" Terry cut herself off and walked off a few frustrated feet to keep from going on. Why was she bothering? Maybe because it wasn't fair to anyone. And Terry set a great store by fairness.

"Ya mean everyone heard Jay," he pointed out because Kevin's voice wasn't loud enough to carry very far unless he was yelling and he hadn't raised it much. "And that'd be the fight Ah kept trying to move away that he kept pursuing that you're referring to Ah assume? If ya eavesdrop half as well as ya should be able to then you'd know Ah kept tryin' to get Jay to shut up until we weren't somewhere public. Yeah, Ah failed at it but that ain't my idea of a good time." And now Kevin was damn irritated at Jay again for that. Kevin's reactions were his own and whether he overreacted to things or not he at least didn't force them on other people willingly. He kept to himself, barely even spoke in public areas when there were people around and almost never said anything really personal on the journals. It was his boyfriend who told all and sundry everything about them.

"No, apparently your idea of a good time is being judgmental and condemning people without knowing anything about their history. Spare me." Terry turned back to face him, frowning, "Speaking of Jay...what's going on with you two?"

"Speaking of my relationship being my business if you want to know about it ask Jay." Kevin didn't like the fact that Jay likely would have told her anything she asked about, but he'd accepted the fact by now. Just because Jay would tell her didn't mean Kevin would, though.

"I know Jay's side of it. I want to know yours. He's my best friend and I don't want to see him get hurt." He might want her to back off but Terry figured his right to privacy ended after her right to make sure she wasn't going to have to break his knees in the near future.

People really didn't get it, did they? "Yeah, you're Jay's best friend which means you can pry into his life but you're not mine so you can't pry into that. Ah don't talk to my own friends about my relationship, why would Ah talk to you?"

"You don't share anything with anyone, is that right? You're able to just stand all on your own, not take anything from anyone." Terry glared then threw up her hands, "Fine. Whatever. I feel sorry for you, Kevin. You've picked a terribly lonely life." She stalked away.

That's right, just because he wanted to keep his relationship with Jay to himself meant he didn't share anything with anyone ever. "Looks like Ah ain't the only judgmental on wandering around, huh Terry?" He said it quietly to himself, but Kevin was well aware of the fact she could probably hear him. He didn't really care. The entire point she had been trying to make about Manuel and people's reactions to him was undermined by her reaction over him not wanting to speak to her about himself.