xp_logs | Manuel & Nathan - Early wednesday morning

Nathan makes a failed attempt at teaching Manuel meditation. They have a very unpleasant discussion about Laurie.

"I see," Manuel confirmed, though he did not exactly 'see' what Nathan
spoke of, nor did he fell the slightest relief from the emotions that
bombarded him on a regular basis. His head was pounding from the
strain of each emotion fighting for dominance. Medication did little
to give him even a small dose of reprieve and his brow creased, the
pressure over his eyes straining until he broke from the extended
silence of 'practicing' to let his head fall in his hands. He let out
an exhausted sigh of frustration.

"This is not working."

Nathan was watching him with a fairly neutral expression, his old
Askani empathic defence fully up and running. He hadn't felt the need
to use it since before Manuel had left the school. Constructing it
again today had been... odd, especially given that he'd agreed to help
Manuel with meditation of his own free will. It was just that this was
bringing back some old memories, and he half-expected Manuel to burst
out with something he might have said three years ago. Not good,
Nathan. Give the kid a chance...

"You can't expect to get the hang of it immediately," he said simply.
"That's the point of practice."

"Practice is for children. I _should_ be beyond practice. I _should_
be where I was before. I _should_ be--" Manuel closed his mouth and
put an end to his complaints. They were getting old. "There _must_ be
a way to fix this. Every time the bridge is built, the water washes it
away before I can cross. This is maddening, you realize, yes?" he
asked, Sitting up and slouching in his seat. He rested his elbow on
the arm of the chair and brushed a hand over his brow, pressing
between his eyes and pushing out. His eyes were closed as if the light
in the room was too much to bear, to take in, but it wasn't the light.
It was the colour and his escape was closing the world in darkness so
he could see, so he could feel only one way.

Nathan shifted uneasily, remembering his description to Jean of
feeling like his shields were built on sand. "I can see that it's
frustrating," he said after a moment, carefully. "But it will help, if
you keep at it." He hoped. It wasn't as if he had the Askani in his
head to consult with any longer.

"As Martin Luther King said, We must forever conduct our struggle on
the high plane of dignity and discipline," Manuel commented
sarcastically and tilting his head to the side, rotating in an attempt
to find relief. There was none and there wouldn't be.

Nathan's eyebrows went up, and he gave a faint, crooked smile. "Apt,
although unlike the you I used to know."

His hand dropped down and he gave Nathan a pointed look. "Yes.
Obviously I realized this earlier," he said without refraining from
irritation levitating in his voice. "You must have also found it very
difficult to find a distraction."

Nathan tilted his head slightly. "I'm not sure what you mean," he
said, somewhat guardedly.

"Which part? The one where you used to know or the difficulty finding
a distraction? Either way, both share a similar response."

This was like the Manuel he used to know. Oblique, to the point
of being almost incomprehensible. "There's no real commonality between
your experience and mine," he finally said, warily. "None that we
weren't aware of years ago."

"But you are very aware now. What does it matter that we were similar
then and not now? You make no sense Nathan."

"You're really working on this whole reading people without fishing
through their emotions thing, aren't you?" Nathan asked, his tone only
slightly sour. It was definite progress, he had to admit that much. He
needed to congratulate Moira and Charles for being miracle-workers
-again.

Despite his headache, a smile formed on Manuel's face. "I believe I
succeeded there. Ten points to Slytherin," he quoted Harry Potter and
nearly laughed at himself for his remark. "I apologize. I have this
ridiculous assignment to read the books - not watch the movies - and
give a detailed paper on the subject of villainy centered around the
points of all four houses and justify why one could be more of a
dangerous group than the other. I believe there is a point being made
here, yet I've chosen to ignore it thus far. That aside, I have also
been reading up my human behaviour. It's not quite what I believed it
to be, but it has its moments."

"Slytherins... they're the ambitious ones, no?" Nathan asked, then
snorted. "I haven't read the books myself. I'd had to have been deaf,
dumb, and blind to not pick up some of the details, living here for
all these years."

"Mind wide open and your eyes closed shut, I believe in a more
backwards way of putting it. Tell me something Nathan. I'm
experiencing a slight... challenge with Laurie. You know who she is
and what she does, yes?"

Nathan froze. Warily. "I know precisely who she is and what her
mutation is, yes," he said, and the tone came across as more than
slightly warning. "Define 'challenge'."

"Please give me more credit than you are now," Manuel said irritably.
"Twice I've come across her and both times when she touched me, my
powers were not only out of control but pulled on, amplified on
projection. We went through a slight disruption in the Salem Center
because of this."

Nathan opened his mouth and then closed it again, frowning. "You have
a physiological aspect to your powers," he finally said. "We've known
that for a long time. Laurie's pheromones - it doesn't actually
surprise me to hear that, when I stop to think about it. There have
been less likely powers interactions."

He studied his right hand, fanning it out in front of him and then
bending his fingers. They ached and he cupped his left over it,
massaging the knuckles. "I'm afraid she takes the matter to heart when
I abruptly leave as a result of her touching me. Any normal urges
shift dangerously into territory I do not care to explore anymore.
Perhaps you could talk to her and address the issue. If it came from
me--" They both knew Manuel had little care for diplomacy when it came
to feelings.

Nathan managed to look slightly appalled. "I hate to be this blunt,"
he said, "but if powers like yours are interacting, we need to figure
out why, how, and how to prevent it from happening on a regular basis.
Avoidance isn't feasible as a solution, not when you're living in the
same house."

Manuel looked up from his hands. "She's one out of how many living
within the mansion? I'll be perfectly honest myself. I'd rather not
rape her as a result of her powers colliding with mine or do anything
else that would shorten my future. Avoidance is a great feasible,
permanent solution, especially when you're me - which you are not.
Either you speak with her Nathan, or I will and I'm sure what I have
to say will be more damaging on her feelings than her physical well
being."

"And what happens if the mansion's attacked and the two of you wind up
in a shelter together?" Nathan's jaw set in a mutinous line. "I'm not
opposed to the idea of the two of you not testing your luck, and I
will talk to her if you want, but the fact remains that you both have
dangerous powers. This sort of interaction has to be understood, so
that it can be prevented from happening in future."

He turned his eyes in a roll to the left, blowing out an aggravated
sigh and lifed his right hand, brushing it over his brow. "And when
was the last time the mansion was attacked? Your point, while valid,
lacks. The worse that could happen is a telepath would have to
intervene and save the day. Ten points to Gryffindor if it's
you," he said sarcastically. This headache was really getting
to him.

"You still don't do well thinking about the long-term, do you?" Nathan
was nettled and getting more so. "It hasn't occurred to you that
understanding this interaction could also give both of you more
answers about your powers and their limitations?"

"No I don't," he said, picking up his cane and tipping it off his
forehead like a tophat. "This--" he said, holding up the cane and
twirling it. "--is my limitation."

There's the Manuel I know, Nathan was tempted to say, but
didn't. He snorted instead, darkly. "I'll talk to Laurie," he said,
"but I'll also talk to Charles and Jean." It was amazing, how
something could be low and sneaky even when you went ahead and told
the person you were going to do it.

"Yes, please do that. And while you're at it, tell the rest of the
mansion what I'm up to. Though I do believe my good reputation will
remain intact."

"Hey, I thought we were well-past the point in our relationship where
you thought I'd deliberately sabotage you," Nathan said, with
something that couldn't quite be called amusement.

"Unintentional sabotage," Manuel commented with an air of dry humour.
"I do believe I will sleep better at night knowing that."

Nathan managed not to roll his eyes. "You'll thank me later," he said.