Shiro & Alex, and later Jay

[x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com]

Alex comes upon Shiro meditating, trying to regain some semblance of balance, and though Alex tries to offer some encouragement, Shiro will have none of it.


Shiro was beginning to wonder if his favorite oak tree would ever recover. He sat beneath it the lotus position with his hands resting on his lap. Eyes shut and breathing slow, he tried to filter out the sounds of students playing around or fleeing their summer classes and cars screeching down the driveway. When he felt the familiar tickle of fire at his feet, he sighed and put it out with the fire extinguisher he'd borrowed from Angel. Every time he shut his eyes to meditate, he remembered the devilishly beautiful Amora coming up to take him for her own. That had started more than a few fires, so he'd taken to bringing protection with him. Fire out, he slumped against the tree and muttered angrily to himself.

"I wouldn't advise burning down the trees around here. It tends to lead to bad things." Alex joked as he skated over on his board. He'd been over at the mansion for training and since it had been a nice day, decided to hit his ramps as well with he board he kept stashed in his car. He'd seen Shiro on his way back to the mansion and after a moment of indecision, decided to come say hello. They weren't going to get over the rift between them by staying apart. "Hey, man."

Alex was rewarded with a sour look, though it could have been for either the comment or his mere presence. "Usually Marko just makes snide comments about 'kids today' and then hands me a bag of grass seed. He may be used to it now." Shiro stood and brushed his hands on his pants to clean them of ash.

Fighting the urge to roll his eyes at Shiro's attitude, Alex just kept his easy smile. "Is it going to be this way every time I try to talk to you?"

Shiro nearly answered positively, but thought better of it. "How do you want it to be, Alex?" he asked instead. "You know what you do to me. I cannot ignore it."

"I thought we could at least try and be friends again." Of course, the reference made him nervous, since Alex had reigned in his powers before even approaching Shiro. "We can work through this stuff, I told you."

Shiro wanted to protest further, but he recognized the futility, and so shut his mouth. He sighed again. "I apologize. I have . . . not been right, lately. In here." He tapped his temple. "Between you, remembering Amora, and that nuclear mutant in Kashmir, I cannot concentrate on anything. That mutant had the same powers I do, or at least similar if not identical. And my control has never been the strongest. I cannot help but think . . ."

"You’re talking to the kid who blew up a chunk of Hawaiian coast line and those trees over there." Alex waved in the direction of the site where he'd blown up all those years ago. "Believe me, know the feeling. And If I can control it, I know you can." He put as much support as he could into his voice. "Just got give it some time."

"But you have everything working in your favor," Shiro protested. He ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I am not pessimistic by nature. But I am being realistic. I see my limitations and the hurdles before me. I do not . . . I don't trust myself."

Alex couldn't help a soft chuckle. "Yeah it's been what, five years for me to get here? Dude, you got the time. It isn't going to happen over night, that's realistic."

There was something about Alex's cheer and optimism that rubbed Shiro the wrong way, and it showed in his face. "The only time I have is that of a bomb counting down. I am a nuclear weapon. I cannot take time, I need to be in control of myself now."

"Patience is a virtue, dude." Alex said with a small shrug, not sure what else to say.

"Forget it." Shiro shook his head. "Patience patience patience. This is not some enigmatic kung fu master shit."

Alex sighed, though his normal calm was betrayed by how tightly he was gripping his fist at his side. "No, it's called advice from someone who cares. Advice which was proven to work."

"Go give your advice to someone who wants to listen to you, like Lorna." Straight for the sore spot. Shiro regretted in the moment he said it, but kept it from his face. That he could affect Alex like this was actually comforting.

"What is your problem? I'm trying to help you! And Lorna has nothing to do with this! This is all about you feeling sorry for yourself." Alex didn't snap very often but Shiro was just getting to him. He hated to see Shiro like this but his unwillingness to help himself was worse.

"This is about me being fucked up and not being able to do anything about it," Shiro snarled. "It is the same story with me every time. I do not change. I cannot change. I am so fucking frustrated and your pity and empty words do not help."

"Anyone can change," Alex all but yelled at him. "You just refuse too! You’re so stubborn! Maybe if you did, you'd be happier, did you ever think about that?" He was so fed up with this. If Shiro didn't want to listen to him, fine, but Alex was going to say it.

"Change and become what? Like you?" Shiro snapped back. "Always cheery and not thinking? Or maybe like . . . like Laverne and fuck my way across New York. I am not like you people. I cannot just shut off my mind at a whim."

Okay that hurt. "Yeah, I should have known. You are so narrow minded that the blond hair fooled you too huh? Did you ever think that I am this way because I want to be? Because it makes me and other people happy?" He snapped before grumbling more to himself but could easily be heard, "Can't turn off what isn't turned on."

Shiro angrily picked up the fire extinguisher and walked past Alex, shoving the taller man not-so lightly with his shoulder. Even that brief, violent moment of contact sent a shiver down his spine. "Fine. I will show you. I will play the game, and let's see how it works out."

"Good luck playing when you have no idea of the rules!" Alex shouted after him as he took off for the ramps. There were few people who could get under his skin, Shiro still being one of them. Maybe he'd go find him when he'd calmed down a bit...but a secret part of Alex hoped Shiro actually did something. Would serve him right.

~*~

Frustrated by his argument with Alex, Shiro seeks out to prove that he's not a complete loser. Jay offers to help him. Possibly NSFW.


"Nothin' like gettin' off early huh Jen?" Jay winked.

"Shut up Jay," Jen quipped in a sour mood because she was still at work and still had to bounce around the bar, waitressing. She also caught his double meaning, after someone overheard her conversation about her new boyfriend who came way too early for her to even get any satisfaction. Now everyone knew and spared no time in making jokes about it.

Jay grinned behind a glass, leaning against a table and watched the dance floor. His eyes briefly glanced up at Mark and would have given him a nod if Mark was looking but he seemed very absorbed with what he was doing. Instead, Jay's eyes scanned the crowd to pick out a flavor for his cravings.

At each step forward Shiro asked himself what the hell he was doing there. This was not his place. Not even his world, for that matter. Though he cleaned up nicely and got into Silver without so much as a second glance from the bouncer, he felt he might as well wear a huge sign with the word "Outsider" in bright neon lights. But that was the issue, wasn't it? Shiro unable to be "normal" and actually enjoy himself. "~Well, here I am,~" he said to himself and pushed through the light Sunday crowd to get into the club proper.

The problem with going to a club alone is that you radiated the fact that you were alone to everyone. It was like a secret language, broadcast in all forms that the club goers understood. It was that shift of the eyes, the insecure roll of the shoulders and the way the fingers fidgeted until they had a drink in hand that caught the attention of everyone, especially this red winged guy.

"Jay, when are you going to get a life?" Jen asked, taking his empty drink as she watched the guy he was watching.

"Jen, when are ya gonna get a real man?" Jay asked back and reached over, plucking two drinks off her. "These for someone? Me? Thanks Jen," he purred, caressing her with a wing while he retreated. She mocked a scowl, swatting his wing away. Jay made his way over to Shiro and from behind, presented him with a drink. "New here?" he asked. The face was familiar but he couldn't place it.

It wasn't the shock of some random person approaching him with a drink that made Shiro nearly attack, so much as who the random person was. "Guthrie?" Even if the two had never interacted before, the big red wings and Southern twang were unmistakable. Shit. He should have known he'd be recognized here of all places.

"Huh, what?" he looked surprised, a little taken back that he knew, or rather, this guy knew who he was. He recovered quickly and pushed the drink in hand and rounded in front of the guy. "Since we're over introductions already, maybe we could just jump to the next part?" he smirked.

Shiro eyed the drink warily before taking a sip, his lips puckering at the bitter, burning taste of alcohol. "Yoshida. I live at Xavier's, too." Idiot, he added silently. "I think I am afraid to ask what the next part is."

Jay shrugged. "Never seen ya before." Not that he paid attention. He was on a different cycle than everyone else, but right, yes, Shiro.

"Shit, sorry, Ah remember you now. Thought you left Xavier's?" he asked, and took a healthy swig of his drink. The aftertaste burned down his throat and he leaned on a nearby table. "Next part's askin' are you here alone?"

"I graduated high school, but I am an X-Man." Shiro raised an eyebrow in disbelief. This was Cannonball and Husk's brother? He quickly gulped down the rest of his drink. "And yes, I did come here by myself. Not that it is any of your business."

"Whoa whoa, no need to get defensive there." Jay raised his eyebrows and blew out a sigh to get his bangs out of his eyes. They fell back in place. "Ah work night shift, so Ah dunno what's goin' on with people these days." And he meant that too. With his friends and his family. "Everyone's got some super secret agenda, so Ah learned to stop askin' questions. It's different when you're not on the team." Jay snorted. "No one tells ya nuttin' and when they do tell ya somethin' none of it makes any sense."

"Well, not everyone is cut out to be a superhero," Shiro said darkly, maneuvering past Jay to get a refill. He wasn't much of a drinker, but when in Rome. He noticed Jay's near empty glass, too, and after a half-second pause, ordered another for him, too. Might as well be grateful for the first drink.

Someone's anal. He let Shiro leave and shrugged to himself, expecting that Shiro wouldn't come back. Instead, his eyes cruised the dance floor, thinking he should probably leave soon. His mind was on the team now, how everyone on it got this stick up their butt once they joined. He was really starting to hate this team thing.

Shiro returned, drinks in hand, and offered one to Jay. "Here." It was the nicest thing he'd said all evening. "And thank you. For the first one."

Jay looked over his shoulder at Shiro, then down at the drink. The last comment had soured his mood and he took the drink, mouthing a thanks but returned his gaze back to the dance floor. The drink was set aside.

Shiro sighed. Well, there goes that. He took another large mouthful of his drink and shut his eyes for a moment as a small wave of pleasant dizziness washed over him. "So. Come here often?" he asked lamely.

Jay pulled his eyes from the blond piece of ass he was watching and shifted them to Shiro over his shoulder. He was about to mouth off something snarky when he stopped himself. Instead, he shrugged. "As often as Ah can," he admitted. It was starting to feel like a second home here. He liked the night life like a warm comfortable blanket. He fit right in. Jay turned around to face Shiro, leaning on his elbows with the table pressing tightly into his wings. "You don't though. So why come at all if yer comin' alone?" Cruising for a pick up, probably. Don't seem like the type.

Jay's assumption was spot on, but Shiro couldn't admit that. "I am trying something new," he replied after a moment's consideration. "I am trying to replace some of the routine in my life with spontaneity." The kind that doesn't send him off to Europe or a volcano or outer space.

"Ah," Jay raised his brows as he leaned over, plucking the straw casually from Shiro's drink and placed it between his lips. It dangled there. He watched Shiro watching him and opened his mouth to say something. Instead of words, Jay's tongue grazed the top of his mouth and his lips lifted in a grin. "Ya wanna dance?"

"I do not really . . . I am not like you." Three simple letters that Shiro couldn't bring himself to say. Although the way his eyes roamed up and down Jay's body, one could certainly make an argument otherwise. "I don't really know how to dance."

"Sure ya do," Jay perked up, his hand reaching out to take Shiro's forearm and slid down the soft flesh, taking his hand. He turned with Shiro in his grip and practically dragged him to the dance floor. God, he's like a dead weight. There was no mistaking it that Jay didn't dance often either, but he could fake it fairly well when occasion called for it and it blared emergency! Shiro needed to cut loose. Get that team rod out of his ass and move a little. Turning around in the middle of the floor, his gaze swept down on the lean body in front of him and pulled him close.

Shiro lost his footing when he was pulled forward, falling against Jay's broad chest before picking himself back up and stepping away a little. His face was red, though whether from embarrassment, anxiety, heat, the two drinks, or some combination thereof, he couldn't say. He tried to smile, but it was lost in the overwhelming feeling of nervousness. To his credit, he at least didn't just stand still, and tried to mimic the moves of the dancers around him.

Jay laughed at Shiro, flushed from ear to ear, trying to dance for the sake of survival in the sea of people. Sink or swim. His hands naturally found a position on Shiro's waist, guiding him closer and let his head fall back, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed and closed his eyes, swaying to the beat of the music.

Shiro tensed up at the touch but forced himself to keep dancing. He was sure that every eye in the club was on him, staring at him, judging him. They knew he didn't belong. When the song ended and neatly flowed into the next one, Shiro stepped away. "I would like another drink," he said hoarsely. "Would you?"

"Sure," Jay said, letting his hands slip away and fell in step behind Shiro as he lead them off the floor. Fingers tentatively brushed the small of his back while he followed, careful not to step on Shiro's heels but stay close.

"Hey Jay!" A blond called out, touching Jay's wing which drew his attention away. He stopped nearby a table and got into a conversation with the blonde. Nothing but a pretty eyed blond, but he excused himself and caught up with his dance partner.

"What are ya drinkin?" he asked, placing a hand on the counter and the other brushing Shiro's back again.

Shiro shivered and took a small step away from Jay, just far enough to get out of his reach. All this physical contact unnerved him. "Anou, I suppose whatever you gave me the first time? I do not know much about alcohol, either." He looked up at the bartender with a shy, self-deprecating smile. "What's good?"

Huh? Had he gotten all the wrong signals from Shiro? The guy looked him over enough and it made Jay momentarily uncomfortable, wondering if he should just ditch his pursuit and go after another. As the bartender told them what was 'good', Jay's let his eyes roam on what he thought was good. He gestured to the bartender to make the last drink he mentioned and ran a hand through his hair, leaning forward on the counter while he waited. His bangs fell around his face, some in his eyes, and a few pieces touched his cheek bones.

A hand in passing slid over his ass, caressing up the crack of it and he enjoyed the touch, turning around just as the hand left. He never saw who it was. A smirk played on his lips and he turned back around, pointedly looking at Shiro as if he were to blame.

And Shiro pointedly didn't return the look. He quickly downed his drink, not even taking a second to savour it, and motioned to the bartender for another, which disappeared just as quickly. His head swam as he lay a few bills down to cover his and Jay's drinks, and anxiously grabbed a third one. "Do you only ever think about sex with men?" he blurted out, his speech slightly slurred and his accent noticeably thicker.

The real question was, when did he not think about sex? "Ah once thought about havin' sex with mah best friend, but then someone hit me over the head with a fryin' pan and Ah got better." Jay polished off his drink, three behind Shiro's and he ordered another. "Ya better slow down there or you'll be stumblin' home," he said. And all that space between them? Somehow, that magically disappeared.

Shiro didn't even notice. "You have never had sex with a woman? Ever? Have you not thought about it? But women are so . . ." He held out his hands in front of him for emphasis, pantomiming holding breasts. "Men are so . . . hard."

A queer look crept over Jay's face and he took a long drink of his beer. It left a mustache in its wake which he licked off with his tongue. "No, Ah don't reckon Ah have. Why would you want to stick yer dick in that? Women are so.." Repulsive? Just talking about doing a girl was a turn off. He shrugged and shook his head. "Don'tcha ever wanna take a guy," he started, his hand falling to Shiro's hip, pulling him hard against Jay's lower body. "And ram him like yer life depended on it."

It wasn't quite a gasp of shock that escaped Shiro's lips, more like pleasantly surprised moan. He didn't push Jay away this time. "Having only been the rammed one, I cannot comment." He turned beat red when he realized what he'd admitted, and buried his face in his glass. The drink disappeared.

He leaned in close. "Maybe it's time to change that."