Log: Clarice & Callie

[x-blink.livejournal.com]

Clarice meets Callie. Randomness ensues as well as philosophy.



Callie stood in front of the refrigerator, trying to decide if she was really hungry, and if so what she wanted to eat. It was well-stocked, but nothing was calling out to her. All that she wanted was something light to hold her over. Perhaps a piece of fruit? Callie couldn't decide, so she just stood there in front of the open door, enjoying the feeling of the crisp coldness on her face. Maybe if she stared long enough something appetizing would appear.

"I wonder if there are any lime popsicles," she mused aloud.

"Nope," Clarice sat at the kitchen table, a lime Popsicle in her hand. "I ate the last one," she was fairly smug about this. It was hard to get the last of anything usually since there always seemed to be so much of everything. It would have been more impressive if she'd had the last Popsicle entirely, but she took the minor victories at ruining at least 5 minutes of someone's day. "Plenty of red ones left. And I think I saw a blue in the back," like any good Popsicle connoisseur, Clarice was more about the color than flavor.

Callie sighed and turned around, closing the refrigerator door behind her. The lime ones were her favorite, always had been, and always would be. Right now though she would have to find a replacement. "That's alright," came Callie's reply as she stuck her head in the freezer. She searched for a minute before emerging with a red popsicle. "I'll just have a strawberry one. Blue raspberry tastes weird."

She made sure the freezer door was closed before making her way over to the kitchen table. Smiling, Callie sat down across from Clarice and unwrapped her snack. "Hmm, maybe it's cherry." She licked it quickly, trying to determine the flavor, then shrugged; it was one of those unidentifiable berry-like flavors. "Whatever it is, it's not bad. I'm Callie."

"Clarice," she waved the popsicle in Callie's general direction, "but blue turns your tongue blue, which is awesome!" Really, it was easy to amuse Clarice. She stuck out her tongue then tried to examine it down her nose, "Is my tongue green?" she asked, unable to tell. It was so hard to turn a pink tongue green.

With Clarice being so far away from her, Callie needed to lean in and squint to see if there was any change in color. She figured that the purple girl was only trying to rub it in that she had the last lime popsicle, but Callie didn't really care. It was only a popsicle, not the end of the world. "Nope," she declared as she settled back in her chair. "Still pink."

She sucked on her own popsicle for a moment, deep in thought. "It's kinda weird how they turn your skin colors. Like the green and red ones don't do much. But the blue one turns me purple. Like blue snow-cones you know? When you get them on your face?"

"Yup," Clarice agreed, "What do you think turned me purple? I promise, it wasn't markers," she'd never attributed her unique melanin to blue snow cones before, but it was a novel idea. She'd also claimed markers, aliens, masturbation and being nuked. She had actually used the last one years before she actually was too. Instead of glowing green, they had turned her purple. The poor sap had even believed her! People could be so weird and gullible sometimes.

Callie blinked. That didn't sound quite right. Snow-cone dye was formulated to eventually wash off, and it wouldn't cover every part of a body. Then it hit her: Clarice was joking. It was the only logical explanation. She let out a little laugh. "I usually just say that I'm perpetually sunburned," Callie said. "Then I get the whole lecture on skin cancer and turning my skin into leather and wrinkles and age spots." She wrinkled her nose. "What can you do though?"

Shrugging, Clarice finished her popsicle, and grinned, "Mess with their minds. Tell them you were a part of alien experimentation or I don't know....eating your vegetables. It's always important to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable," Clarice lived her life by that saying as well as several others. It was cliché, but it was accurate.

Callie sucked on the end of her popsicle, deep in thought. She was trying to compute what Clarice had just said. "Ummmm what? How does eating my vegetables translate into having pink skin?" She shook her head. "You're confusing."

It made sense in Clarice's mind anyways. Then again, it sometimes seemed that a lot of stuff made sense in her mind that didn't to anyone else. Of all the things she potentially lost sleep over, this was not one of them, "I'm not confusing, you're just not thinking laterally," she didn't know what that meant exactly, but it sounded good. "I mean, you're all A, B, C, and I'm all the way over in the Q's already."

"You know, Q is a very underappreciated letter." Callie paused to eat more of her popsicle. "And I wonder if it ever gets mad at U for always hanging around. I mean there's Qatar, but that's not really word, it's a country. So it doesn't really count. There aren't many cases where Q and U aren't together, at least not in any language I know. Odd."

Now Callie was making more sense! Though if she was making sense to Clarice then that was possibly a bad sign, "Exactly. There are some Q-no-U words in Arabic, like Qatar, but not in English I don't think. I bet Q wants some alone time, you know? Away from U. Though, maybe Q likes U. I mean, they could be all BBF forever you know?" Clarice took the idea and ran with it then got up to find a new popsicle. They were yummy enough for two.

"But that's Arabic!" Callie turned and watched as Clarice ran to get another popsicle. "I mean they have a completely different alphabet, so it's not like a Q but something else? And I mean ya they could be BFFs, but still you want your time apart. Otherwise all of Qs codependency would probably start to irk U, and Q probably would get mad at U for you know going off and having fun. Because there's no Q in fun, but there is a U."

"True," Clarice sucked on her popsicle suggestively for a moment, "There's not a Q in a lot of words. I wonder if it feel left out of sentences and the like. I mean, look at the QWERTY keyboard, how often do we use the Q? Not a lot. And it's all up there on the end, probably lonely. I think I feel bad for the Q now. Poor Q..."

Callie sadly shook her head. "Poor Q," she repeated. "Poor Q. And X too. There aren't many words that start with X, and a lot of them have X at the end. It's like it's being banished from the party. Like nobody really likes him, until they need him. But at least on the keyboard X is next to Z; they can keep each other company."

"X is for X-Men. And Xavier's. And xylophone," Clarice giggled and sucked on her popsicle some more. "And X is next to C which stands for Callie and Clarice!" It was a good thing she was going back to school in August, otherwise her brain might atrophy more. She'd been out of classes since March and it was taking its toll.

Callie giggled as she sucked here popsicle. It was almost finished and she was contemplating another one. "C is for cookie and that's good enough for me," she sang cheerfully, bouncing a little in her seat. "C is for cookie and that's good enough for me!"

"I miss Snuffleupagus," Clarice bemoaned, mourning. She had heard he was no longer on Sesame Street and hadn't seen him when she caught the show on rare occasions. "Anyways, I've been watching a lot of TV and Sesame Street just isn't as cool as it was when I was a kid. Though Power Rangers are better," the joys of being sick. Thankfully, she was back to training and what not now, and she had done a lot of sewing redecorating her room and whatnot. But there was still plenty of TV watching.

"Snuffy's gone?" Callie looked like she had just found out her dog had died. "Noooo. He was my favorite! And apparently the Cookie Monster doesn't eat all cookies now, he eats fruits and vegetables and only occasionally eats cookies as a treat. And Oscar is more polite." She finished her popsicle and rose to throw away the stick. "And I agree, shows were better when I was a kid. I've never seen Power Rangers though. I did watch a lot of VeggieTales though. I love that show."

"I've never seen Veggietales," Clarice really hated what they had done to Seasme Street, "Though in Sesame Street now they have Neil Patrick Harris as the shoe fairy. With wings and an all white suit. It was awesome! Though not so original," it hadn't stopped her from laughing so so much as he sang about shoes. And he was cute. Alas and woe. She always seemed after the gay boiz.

"VeggieTales is like this cartoon that stars talking vegetables. It's pretty cute." As she spoke, Callie leaned against the counter. Listening to Clarice continue about Sesame Street Callie was once again confused. She cocked her head to the side and screwed up her face, trying to figure out who Clarice was talking about. "Ummmm who's Neil Patrick Harris?"

Who was Neil Patrick Harris?! "Ever see Harold and Kumar go to White Castle?" she asked. It was a hilarious movie and if she hadn't they were going upstairs to watch it right then. It was just how things needed to be.

Callie replied with a shrug and a shake of her head. "Nope."

How could this be? "You've got to watch it. Now!" Clarice grabbed Callie's hand and was practically trying to tug her upstairs, "It is the funniest movie and Neil Patrick Harris totally makes an appearance. He's like....wow. Alas, our love it not to be. I am so sick of the gay boys."

Even though Callie had no idea what the other girl was talking about she allowed herself to be dragged out of the kitchen. "Um okay?"

What harm could come of watching a movie?