xp_logs | Xbalanque - Manny and Paco are Dead

That night, two guards try to catch the escaping Elpis members... and run into a giant jaguar monster. Wait, what?

Manny Hernandez cracked his neck irritably as he and his comrade made their way further into the building where the holding cells were kept. "~Keeping foreigners. This is a bad idea, a bad bad idea...~"

Walking in step with his old friend, Paco Silva pulled the brim of his cap down over his eyes and shrugged. "~Eh, not so bad. They are Americans. All they know about our jails are what they see from movies. They will try and bribe us, we will pretend to be simpletons, they will give us more money, and then we will go have some cervesas after our shift is up. Why are you always such a pessimist?~"

"~Because Duarte is our boss? Why did I let you talk me in... to...~" Hernandez trailed off when he saw the slumped bodies of the two men they were supposed to be relieving, and the bars of the cell bent open like a Bugs Bunny cartoon, "~Oh. Fuck.~"

Paco froze in place for a moment, chewing on a toothpick. "~Well,~" he began slowly, "~technically no one saw us come in to relieve them, so we could walk ourselves right back up those steps and go see about finding a job for someone other than that pinché Duarte.~"

"~No, we must make an attempt,~" Manny shook his head. He had some semblance of honor, however warped that might be. He looked down the hallways to catch sight of the last of them turning a corner. "~Stop right there! ...Fuck, why did I even say that? Come on.~"

"~This is just like that time with the clown and the sea bass!~" Paco accused even as he put a hand on his pistol and ran along with Manny down the hallway. "~We could have been rich men, but you had to open your big mouth! And so now we must...~"

When they turned the corner, however, Paco's story ended abruptly as he spit his toothpick out into the hall. "~what in the fuck is THAT?~"

"~Mother of God,~" Manny said. It was a jaguar. A giant, too-skinny jaguar with very very sharp teeth. The targets had already made a break for it. "~What do we do?~" he whispered to Paco.

"~I am going to regret missing the chance to sleep with your sister,~" Paco replied, drawing his pistol. "~But I am also going to try and shoot this demon thing,~" he grunted as he began to squeeze off shot after shot at the massive beast.

The creature roared angrily, and instead of chasing after the foreign escapees, made straight for Manny and Paco. The last thing they heard, over their bullets and the creature's growls, was the starting of a jeep engine as Elpis escaped into the night.