xp_logs | Log: Jane, Amanda - Sunday Afternoon

Jane takes Amanda up on an offer.

Jane fiddled with her spoon, ignoring her swiss mocha sundae as it melted into a sad, chocolate-y puddle. The overhead awning was doing little to shelter them from the late summer sun, but she barely noticed it's warmth. Mostly she felt silly for dragging Amanda out here to ask her a simple question that could have been handled over email or the phone. It was just that what she had to ask was so weird and personal, that she hadn't been comfortable. Not that Amanda would have been anything other than sympathetic, but she'd needed the reassurance of a friendly face.

"What do you 'member best from when you were little?" she asked finally, looking up at Amanda with an odd little smile.

Amanda tried not to choke on her own ice cream - vanilla, with lots of fresh strawberries added - and swallowed her initial response of 'getting the shite beaten out of me by Rack'. Jane didn't need to hear that, especially not now. "Not a lot," she admitted. "But I do remember my brother Stefan and Dad, putting me on a horse for the first time. I must have been about two, I think." She titled her head. "Why're you asking?"

"That sounds nice." I wonder if I have any brothers. Jane hadn't ever really considered the possibility. Brothers might be fun. Or sisters. "I've been sort of remembering things," she explained. "Just bits and pieces, mostly. It's been kinda weird."

"I saw something in the journals about deja vu, before I headed off to India." Amanda licked her spoon thoughtfully. "Anything specific, or just the vague fuzzies?"

Jane shook her head. "Not really. I mean, I only have a couple really clear ones from when I was little. There are a bunch of other kids in them, but even they're pretty fuzzy around the edges. Mostly it's stuff like 'I always liked this' or 'Mom really hated that'. Which is really weird because I still don't remember Mom, You know?" She stirred her sundae. "I talked to the doctors a bit and they don't seem to think I'm ever really going to remember things. Things are still pretty scrambled in there."

"What about the 'paths? Have you tried getting one of them to dig through what's there?" Amanda asked, thinking of her therapy with Emma.

"I've been talking with Dr. Grey-Summers, but it doesn't sound like too much has changed since I got here. I guess when Jean-Phillipe zapped me it shook some things loose, but..." Jane pressed her lips together. It probably had been too much to hope for that she'd be able to get most of her memory back, or even much of it. It was so frustrating just have little bits of it, because most of the time there was no context for whatever came back to her. So much of it didn't mean anything. "Do you remember when you offered to try to dig up my past for me?" she asked suddenly, her voice laced with suppressed urgency.

The witch nodded. "Of course I remember. I'd ask if you want me to still do it, but I think that'd be stating the obvious. You want to give me what you had already turned up? It'll give me something to start with."

There was a sudden and unexpected release of pressure in Jane's chest. "I have a file back at the mansion with all of the things I found. There's not a lot, because some of it was just...it was just wrong. But I can give that to you. And I've started remembering stuff. Like the place where we lived had a lot of log cabins, if that helps. I can write some of that stuff down."

"That'd help a lot. I can get some of the others to help on it - Jubilee needs to experience the fun and excitement that's research a bit more." Amanda grinned. "I can't make any promises, but I'll do my best for you."

"Thank you so much." The words were heartfelt. Jane hopped up from her seat and came around the table to give Amanda a hug. "You are the best, do you know that?"

Blushing a little, Amanda patted the arms around her neck. "Yeah, well. Gotta look out for my mates, don't I?"