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xp_logsSet between this log and Doug and Marie-Ange at Harry's. Since Doug isn't giving her many answers, Marie-Ange goes to get them from Emma.
Doug's explanations had been sparse at best - Marie-Ange wasn't sure if it was because he didn't remember much or if he just didn't want to talk about it. For all she knew, it could be both, and she wasn't willing to press him on the issue. She'd given it as long as she could stand before seeking out the only other person who could give her anything like an explanation for why he was so... weird.
Marie-Ange hesitated just for a moment before knocking on the door to the suite that Emma had borrowed - and then mentally scolded herself for being stupid. The worst that would happen is that Emma wouldn't answer, or would tell her to go away and come back later, or say something immensely dry and biting and insult her clothes.
"Considering the circumstances," said Emma, as she opened the door, "I can forgive the clothes." She looked Marie-Ange up and down slowly. "Though possibly not the shoes," she added. "Doug?" she asked. "Come in," she added absently as she walked back to the couch and sat down. "And close the door."
"I had a choice, either buy Doug pants that did not make him cranky, or buy myself shoes that were not trainers." Marie-Ange explained as she shut the door behind her. "Not that I intend to let this shoe situation go on any longer than necessary." As soon as Doug could drive and was willing to go places. She was notdriving again. It could wait that long. "I know that he was... I saw... " She pinched the bridge of her nose and gave up on tact. "What did you -do-?"
"I defeated Ignatova using Doug as a weapon," said Emma. "A willing weapon and the only one I had to hand. And possibly the only one that could have defeated her." Emma looked away from Marie-Ange for a moment. "I had thrown everything at her, Marie-Ange, and I hadn't made a dent. So had Doug. So I had to turn him into something that would defeat her." The look that she turned on Marie-Ange was as hard as the diamond she could become. "Doug was - entirely too human. I had to lock away everything that he uses to distract himself from his power. I made him what he could be - what he needed to be to defeat the Russian bitch - but I locked away most of what makes him human. His emotions, his dreams, his hobbies - if he can touch them now, it is only in the most abstract way. And then, after I had stopped him being human, I fed him to the monster."
That was certainly more of an answer than Doug had given her, and more than Marie-Ange had expected to hear. It was one thing to know in her head, another to hear it out loud. She leaned against the closed door and shut her eyes, trying to stop the rush of memories of what she had seen in the few days between her precognition coming back and leaving New York City. Even the visions had given her very little useful knowledge, ultimately just that Doug had died, and the method of his death, and that he would die again if he was not found, and that Emma would be looking for him.
It had been effective, and necessary, and no matter how much Marie-Ange wanted to express her frustration that Emma had done the one thing to Doug that he was most scared of - taking away his humanity - she knew it wouldn't change anything. The past was the past - the future could be changed, the past could not, and Marie-Ange understood necessity. She'd been partially responsible for Amanda turning to Selene and the Black Court, all in the interest of what was necessary in the long run. She'd left just when Amanda would need the support the most, and taken Doug with her, and left her friend alone and vulnerable, knowing exactly what would happen. This was no different.
"Will they come back?" Marie-Ange asked plainly, once she had pushed the memories aside. "He is... only barely Doug right now." That had taken days for her to see, and it was in the smallest ways - the way he curled up in chairs to read - even though all he'd been doing was working, the precise and organized grocery list he'd given her, the face he had made at getting a new round of immunizations 'just in case'.
Emma's shrug was the slightest ripple of her shoulders. "Not without my help," she said. "And not all of them. I couldn't findall of them." She let her frustration off its rein for the one word and then tucked it away again. "But I can open the doors I closed and re-attach what I salvaged. It will not be easy and Doug will need to know that the doors are worth opening." Her next words might almost have been spoken to herself. "Sometimes not feeling anything is the easy way."
Marie-Ange swore, something she did only rarely, and almost never in front of anyone she wanted to impress. But she really didn't care very much at the moment - she had better things to worry about than her language. "So all I can do is wait and hope that Doug wants to come back?" She was not good at just sitting around and waiting. It made being precognitive an entirely more frustrating power than it would've been had she been patient.
"I am not sure Doug is finding this easy. He is having nightmares about drowning. I know he is feeling something." She didn't bother mentioning the little things like the vegetarianism, they had all done that briefly the first time they had encountered Ignatova, and if Doug stayed that way, she would live with it. The hair, the sensitive skin, the fact that a single cup of tea had given him caffeine jitters, all of that would heal - it wasn't the physical that was her concern.
"Make him want to come back," said Emma softly, answering Marie-Ange's first question. "Make it worth it. The thing he feels most strongly now is what he felt after I closed the doors, because they are the only feelings outside the doors. If all he can feel, really feel, is what Ignatova did to him why should he want to feel more? Why should he trust that the emotions he put away won't be just as painful? It is up to you to show him that he need not be afraid of those feelings. And the more he wants it, the easier it will be for me to open those doors." For a moment, Emma looked tired. "I can help with the nightmares. Soon. As soon as I can. But my power is - stretched beyond its limits right now. I would not trust myself not to hurt him just yet. Hurt him more," Emma amended.
It seemed like everyone's powers were worn out or broken, Marie-Ange wasn't surprised to find out that Emma was in a similar position. "I think the nightmares.. are the least hard part to deal with. Nightmares are something I am familiar with." None of this was easy - it was only a tiny relief to have something she knewhow to deal with. Insomnia, nightmares, restless sleep, she and Doug had been living with those for years, it was only that now the situation was reversed.
"I am not going to turn my back on Doug just because he is... " Broken? Hurting? Not the same person she'd taken to bed the previous week? "I am not going to abandon him." Marie-Ange thought for a moment, cataloging a short list of things she could do - should have done already - to help. "Is there anything specific? That I should do, that I should know?"
Emma shook her head. She had not had time during Doug's rescue to perform more than a cursory scan and trying to pick specifics out of the constant shouting of everyone's thoughts was more than she was willing to attempt at the moment. There was one question, though, that Marie-Ange had not asked but that was dominating her thoughts and for that, at least, she could provide reassurance. "There is no Ignatova in him," said Emma. "He is not the Doug we remember, not yet, but he is only Doug. The bitch computer didn't get her claws in him."
Marie-Ange didn't vocalize her relief, or her embarrassment that despite having asked Doug the same question, that she still hadn't been sure. But gratitude she could express, although "Thank you" didn't quite seem enough. She wasn't sure what would've felt like enough - knowing that Doug wasDoug, even if he was a broken Doug - that was something she could work with, something she could do her best to help fix.
"Patience is no more your strong suit than it is mine," observed Emma into Marie-Ange's tongue-tied silence. "But remember, when it takes too long, that it is not his fault. If you find yourself needing to shout at someone, then I deserve it far more than Doug does. Is that all you needed to ask me?" Her manner was brusque, but she didn't care. Marie-Ange's mind was an interesting trap for a telepath at the best of times - completely open but with a great big hole of crazy that needed to be avoided - and trying to stop her power from attempting a trip into the hole was giving Emma a headache.
Marie-Ange could tell a dismissal when she heard one - she hadn't intended to take up much time anyway. "That is all I needed. But I am not going to shout at you or Doug." Marie-Ange said flatly. "I am not going to shout at anyone who is not related to me." She could just take it all out on her cousin, he rather deserved it. Even if he had technically saved her.
She opened the door to the suite and stepped into the hallway - and then turned around for a moment. "Too long is.. somewhat relative for me. Things take as long as they take, even if I am not very good at waiting for them to happen." Which meant she was going to go find a deck of tarot cards that would survive a few hours of abuse and see what she could see. The precognition was back, she might as start using it purposefully again.
Doug's explanations had been sparse at best - Marie-Ange wasn't sure if it was because he didn't remember much or if he just didn't want to talk about it. For all she knew, it could be both, and she wasn't willing to press him on the issue. She'd given it as long as she could stand before seeking out the only other person who could give her anything like an explanation for why he was so... weird.
Marie-Ange hesitated just for a moment before knocking on the door to the suite that Emma had borrowed - and then mentally scolded herself for being stupid. The worst that would happen is that Emma wouldn't answer, or would tell her to go away and come back later, or say something immensely dry and biting and insult her clothes.
"Considering the circumstances," said Emma, as she opened the door, "I can forgive the clothes." She looked Marie-Ange up and down slowly. "Though possibly not the shoes," she added. "Doug?" she asked. "Come in," she added absently as she walked back to the couch and sat down. "And close the door."
"I had a choice, either buy Doug pants that did not make him cranky, or buy myself shoes that were not trainers." Marie-Ange explained as she shut the door behind her. "Not that I intend to let this shoe situation go on any longer than necessary." As soon as Doug could drive and was willing to go places. She was notdriving again. It could wait that long. "I know that he was... I saw... " She pinched the bridge of her nose and gave up on tact. "What did you -do-?"
"I defeated Ignatova using Doug as a weapon," said Emma. "A willing weapon and the only one I had to hand. And possibly the only one that could have defeated her." Emma looked away from Marie-Ange for a moment. "I had thrown everything at her, Marie-Ange, and I hadn't made a dent. So had Doug. So I had to turn him into something that would defeat her." The look that she turned on Marie-Ange was as hard as the diamond she could become. "Doug was - entirely too human. I had to lock away everything that he uses to distract himself from his power. I made him what he could be - what he needed to be to defeat the Russian bitch - but I locked away most of what makes him human. His emotions, his dreams, his hobbies - if he can touch them now, it is only in the most abstract way. And then, after I had stopped him being human, I fed him to the monster."
That was certainly more of an answer than Doug had given her, and more than Marie-Ange had expected to hear. It was one thing to know in her head, another to hear it out loud. She leaned against the closed door and shut her eyes, trying to stop the rush of memories of what she had seen in the few days between her precognition coming back and leaving New York City. Even the visions had given her very little useful knowledge, ultimately just that Doug had died, and the method of his death, and that he would die again if he was not found, and that Emma would be looking for him.
It had been effective, and necessary, and no matter how much Marie-Ange wanted to express her frustration that Emma had done the one thing to Doug that he was most scared of - taking away his humanity - she knew it wouldn't change anything. The past was the past - the future could be changed, the past could not, and Marie-Ange understood necessity. She'd been partially responsible for Amanda turning to Selene and the Black Court, all in the interest of what was necessary in the long run. She'd left just when Amanda would need the support the most, and taken Doug with her, and left her friend alone and vulnerable, knowing exactly what would happen. This was no different.
"Will they come back?" Marie-Ange asked plainly, once she had pushed the memories aside. "He is... only barely Doug right now." That had taken days for her to see, and it was in the smallest ways - the way he curled up in chairs to read - even though all he'd been doing was working, the precise and organized grocery list he'd given her, the face he had made at getting a new round of immunizations 'just in case'.
Emma's shrug was the slightest ripple of her shoulders. "Not without my help," she said. "And not all of them. I couldn't findall of them." She let her frustration off its rein for the one word and then tucked it away again. "But I can open the doors I closed and re-attach what I salvaged. It will not be easy and Doug will need to know that the doors are worth opening." Her next words might almost have been spoken to herself. "Sometimes not feeling anything is the easy way."
Marie-Ange swore, something she did only rarely, and almost never in front of anyone she wanted to impress. But she really didn't care very much at the moment - she had better things to worry about than her language. "So all I can do is wait and hope that Doug wants to come back?" She was not good at just sitting around and waiting. It made being precognitive an entirely more frustrating power than it would've been had she been patient.
"I am not sure Doug is finding this easy. He is having nightmares about drowning. I know he is feeling something." She didn't bother mentioning the little things like the vegetarianism, they had all done that briefly the first time they had encountered Ignatova, and if Doug stayed that way, she would live with it. The hair, the sensitive skin, the fact that a single cup of tea had given him caffeine jitters, all of that would heal - it wasn't the physical that was her concern.
"Make him want to come back," said Emma softly, answering Marie-Ange's first question. "Make it worth it. The thing he feels most strongly now is what he felt after I closed the doors, because they are the only feelings outside the doors. If all he can feel, really feel, is what Ignatova did to him why should he want to feel more? Why should he trust that the emotions he put away won't be just as painful? It is up to you to show him that he need not be afraid of those feelings. And the more he wants it, the easier it will be for me to open those doors." For a moment, Emma looked tired. "I can help with the nightmares. Soon. As soon as I can. But my power is - stretched beyond its limits right now. I would not trust myself not to hurt him just yet. Hurt him more," Emma amended.
It seemed like everyone's powers were worn out or broken, Marie-Ange wasn't surprised to find out that Emma was in a similar position. "I think the nightmares.. are the least hard part to deal with. Nightmares are something I am familiar with." None of this was easy - it was only a tiny relief to have something she knewhow to deal with. Insomnia, nightmares, restless sleep, she and Doug had been living with those for years, it was only that now the situation was reversed.
"I am not going to turn my back on Doug just because he is... " Broken? Hurting? Not the same person she'd taken to bed the previous week? "I am not going to abandon him." Marie-Ange thought for a moment, cataloging a short list of things she could do - should have done already - to help. "Is there anything specific? That I should do, that I should know?"
Emma shook her head. She had not had time during Doug's rescue to perform more than a cursory scan and trying to pick specifics out of the constant shouting of everyone's thoughts was more than she was willing to attempt at the moment. There was one question, though, that Marie-Ange had not asked but that was dominating her thoughts and for that, at least, she could provide reassurance. "There is no Ignatova in him," said Emma. "He is not the Doug we remember, not yet, but he is only Doug. The bitch computer didn't get her claws in him."
Marie-Ange didn't vocalize her relief, or her embarrassment that despite having asked Doug the same question, that she still hadn't been sure. But gratitude she could express, although "Thank you" didn't quite seem enough. She wasn't sure what would've felt like enough - knowing that Doug wasDoug, even if he was a broken Doug - that was something she could work with, something she could do her best to help fix.
"Patience is no more your strong suit than it is mine," observed Emma into Marie-Ange's tongue-tied silence. "But remember, when it takes too long, that it is not his fault. If you find yourself needing to shout at someone, then I deserve it far more than Doug does. Is that all you needed to ask me?" Her manner was brusque, but she didn't care. Marie-Ange's mind was an interesting trap for a telepath at the best of times - completely open but with a great big hole of crazy that needed to be avoided - and trying to stop her power from attempting a trip into the hole was giving Emma a headache.
Marie-Ange could tell a dismissal when she heard one - she hadn't intended to take up much time anyway. "That is all I needed. But I am not going to shout at you or Doug." Marie-Ange said flatly. "I am not going to shout at anyone who is not related to me." She could just take it all out on her cousin, he rather deserved it. Even if he had technically saved her.
She opened the door to the suite and stepped into the hallway - and then turned around for a moment. "Too long is.. somewhat relative for me. Things take as long as they take, even if I am not very good at waiting for them to happen." Which meant she was going to go find a deck of tarot cards that would survive a few hours of abuse and see what she could see. The precognition was back, she might as start using it purposefully again.
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Date: 2008-11-02 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-03 04:38 am (UTC)